100 lb. Club - A year ago




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hpnodat
07-07-2010, 07:05 PM
A year ago I wrote here and said I was going to get healthy and lose weight for an upcoming event that I knew was going to require a lot of physical endurance on my part. I thought it would be something that I could work towards as a goal. It was going to require me to fly in a plane for 4 hours and spend 6 days in hot Texas weather walking for miles everyday while I was there and then flying 4 hours back. I knew this would be hard for me at the weight I was.

I've been really depressed because not only have I not lost weight but I've gained 15 or 20 lbs. I just got back from this trip and I was really miserable the whole time. I was totally embarrassed on the plane because I barely fit in the seat & had to lift the arm rest between my husband & I. I had to suck in with all my might to get that seat belt to fit. I was just mortified. He was miserable as well because I was taking up so much room including his personal space. I think he did pretty good considering, he only complained a couple times.

The time in Texas was grueling. I don't ever want to have to go through that again. What was supposed to be a fun time wasn't at all for me. I felt like I was a downer for everyone else involved with the trip because they were constantly having to wait for me. I walked slow and I had to stop to rest often. My hips, knees and feet killed me. I sweated like a cow.

I'm just so tired. Tired of it all.


kallismom
07-07-2010, 07:27 PM
I know it's hard when we see all the time that we could have used to get healthy, but the thing I'm learning from this board is that we can do it. YOU can do it! I'm sure that you have already, but re-read the success stories from people that have lost and maintained for monthsand years on this site. I've been doing this everyday for two weeks, and it keeps me coming back several times a day. Stay strong and just do it! :hug:

prettyinpink116
07-07-2010, 08:12 PM
to hpnodat I can TOTALLY relate to you bc last year when i went up to NJ to visit my family (i live in PA with my bf) everyone kept wanting to go to the beach or out to NY or the shore..etc...& i didnt want to bc i was like 299lbs and all my friends are hot and in the low 100's so i didn't feel comfortable..so when I came back home i promised everyone the next time they see me I will be in the mid to upper 100's ..fast forward a yr later I was just up there last week due to a family emergency and yea i lost weight (like 45lbs) but its not noticeable, i still fit into the same clothes with a little difference...but noone even noticed & my mom was like so are you still dieting or what?? uhhh i wanted to say YEA I AM ALMOST 50LBS DOWN FROM THE LAST TIME U SEEN ME!! but whatever...SO I KNOW HOW U FEEL b/c my promise wasn't kept as well..but just look at it like this...no use crying over spilled milk...& just get back on the ball!!! Start by waking up tomorrow and throwing away all the bad junk food In your fridge and cabinets and anything else that will only make you fail & make a new promise to yourself! Put YOU #1 and not think BUT KNOW that YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I have faith :)


Athenacapella
07-07-2010, 08:21 PM
I can totally relate. Last year I was 18 lbs. from my dream goal weight. And now I am almost at my all-time weight ever.

But let's ask this. Where will we be next year?

caryesings
07-07-2010, 08:50 PM
I used to participate in a yearly event that reminded me each year I had promised myself "this is the year" and it never was. Then April 2009 at the same time of year I've made this promise to myself, I made it again and started again.

And this time I stuck to it. Finally, after 35 years I kept my promise to myself.

NEVER stop trying. With every "failure" you learn something about your body and the weight loss process you can use. Think through what parts have worked for you in the past and build from there.

ubergirl
07-07-2010, 08:54 PM
Every year, for at least thirty years, I used to think about how I wanted to look and feel during my summer vacation, and plan to start, and every year, when summer rolled around I was just as fat, or fatter.

And then, last summer, in 2009, I made myself the promise again, and this time I made it stick.

Just because you failed in the past does not mean you will fail again.

The past does not predict the future.

You CAN lose the weight, but you just have to get it through your thick skull how important it is, and then you need to come up with a plan and stick to it like glue.

Welcome to the first day of your whole new chance.

Momto2Ms
07-07-2010, 09:29 PM
I think many of us here have had that same painful realization. But, the past is gone and tomorrow is your choice. I hope that you are able to take this painful experience to make you stronger and learn for that mistake. Good luck!

matt_H
07-08-2010, 07:49 AM
I wish I had a dollar for all the times I told myself that "this was it" when it comes to weight loss. Several years ago, my friend was getting married and I had about 1 year from engagement to wedding. I thought "I'll lose a bunch of weight and surprise everyone at the wedding". The truth turned out that I didn't lose any weight at all that year and was actually heavier.

Most of us are not lucky enough to have this life long change click the first time around. I don't know why it "clicked" for me this time, but it did and I let the mini-goals be the motivation to push me further along.

As other people said, you can do this!

ubergirl
07-08-2010, 10:19 AM
Most of us are not lucky enough to have this life long change click the first time around. I don't know why it "clicked" for me this time, but it did and I let the mini-goals be the motivation to push me further along.

As other people said, you can do this!

It's true....! It seems like what is hard is 1) getting started and 2) persevering through the first few weeks when you feel the sacrifice more than the reward.

Because it doesn't take long before the rewards start to outweigh the sacrifices, and from that point on it's relatively easy.

SamanthaBea
07-08-2010, 10:54 AM
Instead of beating yourself up, try to take a step back and look objectively at what happened ... what were the factors that hindered your plan to take control of your health?

Even when you do get it together enough to start eating better consistantly, there will always be pitfalls along the way. The key is that you have to learn from those mistakes and adjust your plans accordingly.

So what happened? Only you know the answer to this. Punishing yourself isn't going to help solve your problem, but taking what you've learned from falling down will help you walk walk stronger this time.

hpnodat
07-09-2010, 09:31 PM
What happened is, I have an all or nothing mindset, I give up to easily, I feel deprived, I want an easier softer way, I'm a big baby, I have OCD & ADD, I hate healthy food, I hate drinking water, I hate exercise, I want to do nothing and watch myself miraculously lose weight.
Yeah, I know. Whine a little more. I could supply a whole city with the amount of pity I have.

I just need to (wo)man up, put all those feelings aside, rub some dirt on it and just do it. I know how to do it.

shannonmb
07-09-2010, 09:57 PM
Your post made me so sad, SO sad, because I have done the same thing so many times. The hardest part is that when you have "failed" at a goal you have previously set for yourself, and you start to lose hope and doubt if it's even possible -- at least that is how it's been for me.

I wouldn't know from experience, but from reading here, it sounds like most of the people who have been successful at weight loss have had some kind of "a-ha" moment, hitting rock bottom, or whatever you want to call it. (I believe I have hit my "rock bottom" and I'm in the process of clawing my way back, but it's early and so I can't get too confident yet!) Maybe your trip to Texas was that for you!?! Maybe someday you'll be posting on here, "What started my successful weight loss journey was a horrible trip to Texas I took in 2010. I started then and have never looked back!"

Best of luck to you! I know how you are feeling!

Arctic Mama
07-10-2010, 12:49 AM
Sometimes what it takes is being tired of it to change it. Welcome back, and try, try again. :)

These are very wise word and I feel for you :). The journey might take us longer than we think and with more starts than we want, but it is absolutely worth making. When you're really ready, nothing will stop you.

Chels27
07-10-2010, 01:25 AM
I've done the same thing multiple times, over a few years. I would prepare the night before, throw away everything away that was bad for me, and get an exercise plan started. Would go a couple weeks, this past time a couple months and lost 25 lbs. No many people noticed, since it wasn't THAT noticeable, but to me it was an accomplishment. But, I would make promises to people I didn't see often that the next time they saw me, I would be different. Surely by then, my diet would be gone, exercising replaced by TV or internet or something that was "easier" and I would go right back up. You're not alone!

Chels27
07-10-2010, 01:30 AM
Also, I read a quote that really made me think: "Do what you've always done, expect what you always get. Do something you've never done, and expect the unexpected!"
Helped me open my eyes a little bit, just wanted to add!

Eliana
07-10-2010, 12:23 PM
My problem with losing weight for a specific future event is two fold. One, if you don't make it, not only do you feel horrible being fat which is bad enough, you've also added a feeling of "failure" to your list. If you set a goal to lose weight for a trip, a wedding, a dance, etc., you WILL remember that you meant to lose weight whether or not you actually do so it's a bad set up.

I gave myself a one year deadline, but not for any event or function and not with any goal weight in mind. I wanted to see where I'd be if for one year I could be on plan every day without any excuses. My biggest problem was giving up when the scale did not cooperate. I've had my fair share of days where the scale did not match my effort!! But it didn't matter because I had committed to this for one year. It's been eight months for me now and I've lost 62 pounds. ;) That's double every past weight loss attempt I've ever had. And when that year mark rolls around, there's no looking back because I've developed habits and it's no longer hard. I've been sailing through this riding on the wings of habit for the past three of the eight months. There is a long initiation phase, but it passes.

It's true....! It seems like what is hard is 1) getting started and 2) persevering through the first few weeks when you feel the sacrifice more than the reward.

Because it doesn't take long before the rewards start to outweigh the sacrifices, and from that point on it's relatively easy.

This!! But I'd personally extend the "persevering" part past a few weeks. I had to persevere for about five months before my mind caught up with reality. I wanted weight loss to be fast and it has taken a LONG time to come to peace with the fact that I do not lose weight fast and that losing inches IS better than losing pounds. :D

What happened is, I have an all or nothing mindset, I give up to easily, I feel deprived, I want an easier softer way, I'm a big baby, I have OCD & ADD, I hate healthy food, I hate drinking water, I hate exercise, I want to do nothing and watch myself miraculously lose weight.
Yeah, I know. Whine a little more. I could supply a whole city with the amount of pity I have.

I just need to (wo)man up, put all those feelings aside, rub some dirt on it and just do it. I know how to do it.

From your post, I highlighted that which fits me!! All or nothing mindset, heck yeah!! That's why I had to give myself a commitment of one year. I am all in for one year. Use that all or nothing mentality to your benefit! Giving up easily? Yes and no. I'm no quitter, except in the face of the scale. So I started weighing daily so I could get a grip on the reality of scale fluctuation. This has helped me cope tremendously. Feeling deprived? We all do...at first. That's a hurdle you just have to get over. You'll find most, if not all, maintainers do not feel deprived anymore at least in part because living just feels so much better. I can give up dessert every night for the feeling of fitting through a turnstile at the amusement park. And I can still have dessert...I just have to plan for it. Wanting an easier way? Yeah...we all do. ;) But is being fat easy? No way!! Trust me...really trust me...dieting is way easier than being fat. Hate water? Others can help with that. I always liked water and have come to love water. I was a big soda addict and haven't had more than 3 sips on 3 separate occasions in eight months. Hating exercise? Yep, I did too! But then I started to see that I fitness goals were within my control. I could not control the scale. I could not set and meet a goal to lose 10 pounds in 10 months but I could darn well set and exceed a goal to run a 5K in a month, or whatever. I can increase the weights I lift every week. I can do 20 push-ups in one set and I can do THREE sets of those whereas as at the beginning I couldn't do even one with proper form. I am constantly amazed at how good fitness feels.

I know you can do this!! We all have our issues. :D

Beverlyjoy
07-10-2010, 12:42 PM
I totally understand how badly you felt on your trip. I have been in that situation too. But, I've learned that we can NEVER stop trying again- if that's what we need to do. Really - you must keep trying because it could be the time that really is for the long term.

It's time to forgive yourself, figure out what food/lifestyle plan you'd like to do (it can tweek as you go along) and start to plan, plan and plan some more.

ubergirl
07-10-2010, 12:42 PM
I agree with what Eliana said up thread, especially the part about, "I'm no quitter, except when faced with the scale. That is SO TRUE for me too.

I had worried and fretted and agonized about weight loss for YEARS but I had never really figured out how to do it.

And the MAIN thing I had not figured out was that it is normal and inevitable for the scale to bounce up and down, sometimes rather a lot.

In past weight loss attempts, I really never had a sense of control. I tried to follow "a plan" but usually the plan was a little vague in my mind. Sometimes I was doing well and the scale either didn't budge or went (gasp) up, and so what did I do? I cried. Then I told myself I'd always be fat so why bother. And then, I binged. And then, I told myself that I really couldn't help myself and I might as well not even try because dieting "made me binge..." Of course, that pretty much ignored the fact that I was morbidly obese because I ate too much ALL the time, I just noticed it more and felt more guilty about it when I was doing it after abandoning a weight loss attempt.

So, what helped me this time, was two things.

One: I track my calories every day. That way, if the scale doesn't move, and I start to panic, I can tell myself, at least the rational part of my brain, that there is no way the gain is "real"... and I should just wait it out.

Two: I relied HEAVILY on 3FC. Each time I started to panic I posted an annoying and whiny thread here. Each time, the wise citizens of 3FC jumped in, gave me tips and pointers, calmed my frayed nerves, and told me to keep going.

A two to three week stall, where your weight bounces up down up down up down is enough to send anyone to a mental asylum. But this time, I learned to stick with it anyway.

The hard thing about weight loss is that you constantly weighing getting pleasure now versus a possible long-term reward. It's like putting money in the bank versus buying that new thing you really want.

Now, if over the course of years and years every time you've put money in the bank, a couple of weeks later the bank closed and you lost the money, you might be less inclined to put stuff in the bank.

And that's how it is with weight loss. Most of us have a history of failure and for the first weeks, or even months, we're just not sure it's going to work.

In a way, it's rational.

But it WILL work if you work it. So post often share your fears and read the success stories over and over.

A year from now, you will be posting an entire different kind of "one year ago" thread.

rockinrobin
07-10-2010, 06:24 PM
I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.

It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.

Doing what is necessary to get to and to remain slim, trim, fit, active and healthy is nothing to fear or loathe - STAYING OVERWEIGHT IS. There is no deprivation in passing up high calorie/high quantity food - eating it is.

Eating well is no prison sentence - it is your ticket to freedom, that will open up doors for you didn't even know were closed.

Onederchic
07-10-2010, 06:31 PM
I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.

It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.

Doing what is necessary to get to and to remain slim, trim, fit, active and healthy is nothing to fear or loathe - STAYING OVERWEIGHT IS. There is no deprivation in passing up high calorie/high quantity food - eating it is.

Eating well is no prison sentence - it is your ticket to freedom, that will open up doors for you didn't even know were closed.

Totally agree with this.

Too many times I see people refer to greasy, high fat, sugary foods as "good". They are not good in my book and though I have a something that may fall in that category from time to time, normally a planned one, I enjoy healthy foods way way better now and definitely enjoy being healthier.