Weight Loss Support - I have lost more weight than him but...




trooworld
07-06-2010, 02:59 PM
My hubby and I are losing weight together, and I have lost 22 lbs (I weigh 226) and he has lost 18 lbs (he weighs 273). Now, granted, he lifts weights and I do not. We both run/walk and hike and bike. BUT...HE is the one that everyone notices has lost weight. Not one person when we are together has said, "gee, Chris, you've lost weight too." hehe Nobody. I figure he's probably looking slimmer because he's building muscle, so I am going to start lifting too. Ah, it's so frustrating!!!


loveit
07-06-2010, 03:07 PM
its ok i sure u have a noticable amount lost :hug: i have that probelm too my boyfriend just needs to stop drinking coke for a month and looses 10 lbs. like nothing. i been on a diet for amonth and lost 5lbs. and people dont notice that i whip my but in the gym every morning while he sleeps in. grrrrrrr dont worry i feel u. im sure u look great

trooworld
07-06-2010, 03:17 PM
Thanks, loveit! My hubby says he can tell, he says I'm really losing weight, but he seems to be the only one. I can tell by the way my clothes fit, I've gone down 2 jean sizes and 1 top size. Congrats on your weight loss!


gardenerjoy
07-06-2010, 03:33 PM
It took 40 pounds AND new clothes before anyone besides DH noticed my loss. Maybe it's because we women are always curvy so it's harder to notice that the curves are shrinking?

Gold32
07-06-2010, 03:33 PM
I don't understand why they would notice on him over you. You've lost more and started at a smaller size (which makes it easier to see weight changes). I know muscle can make a difference, but really? I think it's more likely this is some kind of manifestation of biases. People are more critical on girls, whether intentional or no.

I'm sure you're "showing it" too. People don't always make sense.

Shmead
07-06-2010, 03:55 PM
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.

Slim CB
07-06-2010, 04:09 PM
Some people are jealous of your weight loss and they will be the last ones to tell you that you are losing weight. Just keep at it girl! If you see the changes and your hubby sees it.....to **** with everyone else.

They will have to comment eventually! Trust me!

trooworld
07-06-2010, 04:10 PM
Maybe it's because we women are always curvy so it's harder to notice that the curves are shrinking?

that's a good point, I have big boobs and they aren't shrinking, so maybe it isn't as obvious.

I don't understand why they would notice on him over you. You've lost more and started at a smaller size.

Aaaaah! I know, it's maddening. I thought for sure that I should show more than him, but you may be right about the bias thing. Then again, Shmead makes a good point, too.

People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to.

I didn't even think of that. Great point.

trooworld
07-06-2010, 04:11 PM
Thanks, Slim!

Gold32
07-06-2010, 04:28 PM
Shmead does have a good point. In fact, I just told my husband this very thing (to wait until your sure they've lost) after he told my cousin (whom looks like my twin) that it looked like she'd been losing weight, too. She said she's gained. Oops!

So it could be one or the other or both, or something else! As I said, people don't always make sense!

yhahmd
07-06-2010, 04:28 PM
You know, when I read this post I thought of that commercial where the girl is like, "my husband and I stopped drinking pop. I went down a size. He went down four. :/" etc you know the one I'm talking about?

Either way, I think certain things just show more on men. You've still lost weight and should be proud! Just keep going :D Also, men (well most men) don't have breasts, so we're pretty curvy, breasts, tummy, etc, so it's a bit harder to notice.

thesame7lbs
07-06-2010, 04:35 PM
It took 40 pounds AND new clothes before anyone besides DH noticed my loss.

This is a good point. When we lose weight but wear the same clothes, it's hard to tell. This is really frustrating me right now b/c I don't want to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but when I belt my too-big shorts or pants, I look dumpy. :rolleyes:

Weight lifting can make a huge difference for men, too. My husband can put on 20lbs of pure muscle when he lifts regularly. So he may have only lost 18 lbs, but if he's put on 10 or 20 of muscle, that adds up. Plus if he's building his shoulders, that changes his silhouette in a noticeable way.

But I think the bias thing is the most likely culprit. Just too risky to mention a woman's weight!

FreeSpirit
07-06-2010, 04:36 PM
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.

I agree 100%.

chnkymonkey
07-06-2010, 04:55 PM
I have a friend who lost weight and I hadn't seen her in a while. We met with other friends for lunch and although I noticed she looked thinner, I didn't feel comfortable asking if she had lost weight. While she had lost about 20 - 30lbs, her specific size isn't something I paid much attention to. (she was probably similar size to you) After the lunch I asked another friend we were with if the first one had lost weight. But I know I'm sensitive about my weight and I'm always unsure whether to ask someone about possible weight loss until its blantently obvious. 20lbs on her still left her with a ways to go, and it was hard to distinguish, especially since i don't really critique her size.

On the other hand, I know people who always like to try and compliment a woman by saying "You look great, have you lost weight?" and they think that is a compliment. To me, when that happens, I feel awkward, especially as I was gaining weight.

And as another option, if you are still hiding behind your clothes out of still being uncomfortable in your new thinness, then people may not see it as easily. Many people don't notice weight loss until it shows in your face because they don't pay attention to the rest of your body. If you have a round face and your husbands is more oblong, its likely his face shows the weight loss faster than yours does.

Natalia
07-06-2010, 07:06 PM
I think it's probably not the muscle thing, It's probably that his weight all came off his paunch and yours came off all over. If someone loses all the weight from one area, it's easier to notice. And, men mostly carry weight in thier belly.

icmethinner
07-06-2010, 07:13 PM
But when I had kept it off a few weeks people started noticing. I am not sure why they have noticed your husband's loss before yours. In the past at my 20 pound mark, no one noticed at first. Then they started to notice and by the time I got to 30, everyone was commenting :) One good thing about it is that now you know everyone is not monitoring your weight every time they see you :)

luciddepths
07-06-2010, 11:02 PM
Alot of people dont notice, depending i think on a persons Shape.
They probably notice something slightly different but are not sure what it is. Guys are easier to tell if they lose weight, they usually have weight in only certain spots and when its gone, its gone! haha but women kinda "even" out all over.

koceank29
07-06-2010, 11:14 PM
I think it's probably not the muscle thing, It's probably that his weight all came off his paunch and yours came off all over. If someone loses all the weight from one area, it's easier to notice. And, men mostly carry weight in thier belly.

I hadn't thought of this so glad you posted. Everyone comments on my hubby whos lost about 30 lbs, yet I've lost 65 since I had our baby in July last year and I rarely get the "you've lost weight". Its always an after thought to someone after they compliment my husband, then they say, oh you've lost some too! Yep, some! I wish I could wear a pin sometimes, its vain, but I'd like a pat on the shoulder once in a while too. But you're right, his weight loss in almost totally in his belly, mine has been all over.

I feel for you too Trooworld!

chnkymonkey
07-07-2010, 09:35 AM
One good thing about it is that now you know everyone is not monitoring your weight every time they see you

^^^^ This is probably one of the best things said here. We are all so very critical of ourselves and we assume other people think the same of us. But its not true. People don't notice because they are too worried about themselves.

trooworld
07-07-2010, 10:42 AM
It is true, my hubby has lost most of his weight in his belly, and I have lost weight all over. It is also true that I don't wear the most form-fitting clothes, either. It seems there are a lot of culprits in this mystery! I never thought about that people aren't monitoring my weight every time I see them. That IS comforting. My best friend, even though we only see each other through Skype most of the time, can definitely tell I've lost weight. So I guess it's a matter of time before more people notice.

Onederchic
07-07-2010, 01:22 PM
I know how frustrating that can be but wanted to say what you have accomplished thus far is awesome :D :hug:

ennay
07-07-2010, 01:42 PM
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.

That is EXACTLY what I was going to say. Even though my friend would probably like it I really hesitate to say I think she has lost weight. Because what if I am wrong?

trooworld
07-07-2010, 06:05 PM
Thanks, Onederchic! You, too! :)

Monica T
07-12-2010, 04:49 PM
I totally hear where you're coming from. My boyfriend just moved to Kentucky (I live in LA) and we're trying to see who can be more in shape the next time we see each other, which is the first weekend in August. I've only been at it for a week, (working out, eating right...etc) but I've seen NO results and he's already lost 3 pounds! Maybe it's because he has a trainer, haha.

Zing
07-13-2010, 09:05 AM
I saw a whole group of college friends recently who last saw me almost 70 pounds heavier and not one person noticed the weight loss. I did feel pretty down for a bit thinking that I must still look overwhelmingly fat. A couple of other friends suggested it may be the "not wanting to comment on a woman's weight issue". Decided that either way, I'll be seeing the same group again in a month, want to lose another stone and get myself so glammed up they can't help but notice this time!

MindiV
07-13-2010, 09:26 AM
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.

This is exactly what I was gonna say...