Weight Loss Support - Well, if you can do it, then I can do it??




MaddiesMom
07-06-2010, 03:10 PM
Do you ever get bothered by others saying this to you? I know we all say it to each other here, but we know that others here are putting the work in and losing those pounds and inches.

I bring this up because my MIL has been saying this (in a round about way), that since I've lost weight there should be no reason that she can't. Then, she gets frustrated and gives up. I have no problem with her wanting to lose weight, but when she doesn't make any of the necessary changes and then compares herself to me who works out 6 days a week and eats incredibly healthy, it just bothers me.

She claimed she wanted to lose 50 pounds for my SIL's wedding in October, which was a hefty goal, but within 2 weeks she was eating fried chicken and going out to eat. Then, she couldn't understand why she wasn't losing. She asked me for tricks/tips and I told her it's old fashioned diet and exercise.

Sorry for the rant, but a conversation came up over the weekend...


Shmead
07-06-2010, 03:39 PM
That is always frustrating--there's no good way to respond--if you explain why you are losing weight and they aren't, you feel like a jerk, but if you pretend to be mystified ("I don't know why you aren't losing weight. I must just be lucky") you feel like you are selling yourself and your sacrifices short.

I said something in passing at work about how this "hasn't been easy" and a co-worker said "it's seemed pretty easy to me" (about my weight loss) and I wanted to be like "Where the **** are you at 4:30 in the morning? Because I'm on the damn bike!" You really can't win: if you don't complain, people think you are lucky and it's easy for you, and if you talk about all you do, people think you are bragging and a know-it-all.

guamvixen
07-06-2010, 04:22 PM
My response is always "it will never happen until you are ready to make that lifestyle change. Your mind, and body must be ready" In other words, it's polite way of saying "don't just wish to lose weight, actually get off your behind and do something"


goodforme
07-06-2010, 04:24 PM
That's a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one! Like saying "if she can get married, there's hope for me" or implying that if someone of your limited talent was able to accomplish something, then the rest of the world should have no problems at all!

It makes me mad on your behalf and I hope you set her straight. . .

MaddiesMom
07-06-2010, 05:50 PM
Guamvixen: That's a really good suggestion. I just keep my mouth shut usually, but her comments are coming more and more that I'm losing a lot.

Goodforme: At least you're on my side! LOL She pretty much has given up at this point. She purchased her dress for the wedding, so my hubby said to her "so did you give up then?" May have been a bit rude, but at least we're forcing her to be realistic with herself.

yhahmd
07-06-2010, 05:53 PM
Same thing with my friend. She eats waffles, chips, pancakes, chicken nuggets, etc, and expects to lose weight while the only "exercise" she does is housework and laundry. I don't want to sit here and judge her, but have no idea what to tell her when she asks me why she isn't losing weight.

Let's compare lunches. Your taco bell vs. my home made veggie wrap. See the problem?

sweetnlow28
07-06-2010, 07:11 PM
I understand how you feel. My step mom makes the same sort of comments to me. It makes me feel like she is belittling my efforts and making it seem like its less of an accomplishment. Maybe you can tell your MIL you want to help her. Sit her down and explain everything you have done to lose the weight. When she sees how much effort you have put into it, perhaps she will appreciate your accomplishment more. I don't know though, it hasn't worked here on my end LOL. Just wanted to say, I understand :hug: