I told a few of my friends about my plan to lose weight and they're super cool and supportive and great overall.
I completely regret ever telling most of my family though. I only volunteered the information when necessary (to stop people from buying me bagels and a latte every morning) or when angry (in response to my mom's incredulity b/c to her it looks like I had gained weight in the last few months rather than lost anything).
My family likes to nitpick by nature so they tend to try and make me feel guilty for having eaten something that is not "diet food". I understand they're trying to help, but it's really annoying. They will make a comment when I eat full fat cheese instead of nonfat or if I get a scoop of ice cream without understanding that I've planned my day for that scoop calorie-wise by eating less or putting in extra exercise. I'm at the point where I just want to put a chart on the fridge so they can see everything I eat and how I can still be within my totally reasonable calorie goals, but then they will just get annoyed with me for getting defensive and being overly dramatic.
Maybe I am letting this bother me too much, but I really get annoyed when my brother sees me eat a 55 cal. piece of dark chocolate and responds with, "I thought you were on a diet. Why would you do that to yourself?" I've already explained my "diet" several times and don't know how to handle this anymore.
So I'm curious how other people inform their friends, family, co-workers, etc. Is anyone else dealing with someone who wants to run your plan?
ugh! i'm sorry but that has to be so annoying (esp. your mother and brother) commenting on your food! i'm heading on a family vacay this week and will keep my lips zipped on my "diet" - the last thing i want is people like my grandfather or mother nitpicking what i eat! maybe a sarcastic retort or two will shut them up? or just roll your eyes? lol
This is why I haven't told anyone what I'm doing. Partly because I find endless conversations about diets boring [I don't mean in this kind of environment where we're all here by choice, but at a BBQ, I'd rather talk about politics and the weather and the latest family gossip than diets!], partly because everyone I know who is "on a diet" (for want of better terminology) is doing a different plan and those conversations always wind up as arguments for this plan or that WOE with people getting defensive about what they're doing.
I'd rather just do it than talk about it and then have every last morsel I put in my mouth judged and analysed. I'll let my results speak for themselves.
A friend of mine actually totally dissed calorie counting. She feels like it creates an unhealthy attitude towards food, opting for low cal and low nutrition versus the many awesome many of us more educated calorie counters enjoy. My friend also has had limited success with her attempts at controlling her weight. She's not all that unhappy with herself, which is great too
And I'm glad we can talk about it, disagree, and that's it
I never say I'm "on" a "diet". I have, however, often made changes to my diet; Had a bad diet, improved it... etc. I try to live a healthy lifestyle.
It seems that using the word "diet" or "trying to lose weight" triggers reactions in people, probably due to their own insecurities. I dance around with the words, and avoid the drama.
Last edited by souvenirdarling; 07-05-2010 at 08:38 PM.
Yikes! To me that's just as bad as feeling like you're being stared at and judged by strangers in restaurants or in the grocery store. Creepy! I know they're well meaning, but that isn't how it comes across. Dieting doesn't have to be about deprivation. I do much better when I allow myself treats and I think maintenance will go a whole lot better if I get to enjoy normal food like a normal person. That's what I'm aiming for...NORMAL! I completely understand that you can plan your entire day around a piece of chocolate!
Stay strong! It will get easier as you lose more. As your weight loss becomes obvious you get to say "Yes, I get to eat this and lose weight too! Isn't it wonderful?"
I have found that as soon as I say I am on a diet, the Diet police will appear, monitoring every bite and making unwanted comments. If the Diet police don't show up it is the Diet Saboteurs who will do everything they can to get you to break your diet. I keep my mouth shut and just say this is what I prefer to eat today and let it go at that.
My favorite things to say are "I am watching what I am eating" or "I am trying to make healthy choices" I REFUSE to tell my family I am activly trying to lose weight, the comments from my family will flow free from the word go and it's never nice. Right now only my Hubby has any clue I am trying to lose and I plan to keep it that way for as long as I can
I've told my family... but my family are low-carbers... low calorie (which is what I'm doing, and what is working the best) is foreign to them.
I am not at all wanting them to completely change their own eating habits. yeah... I'd like more fruits and veggies, and less MEAT MEAT MEAT... but I'm getting tired of either constant pestering of "what do you want" or completely ignoring me altogether. I understand WHY they are doing it... it just... I dunno...
I usually just stay quiet and do my own thing, maybe explaining to one person or another, just saying a simple "oh... counting calories", and then shut up and do my own thing.
My friend's mother feels like any discussion of my weight loss or going to the gym is a personal attack on her, and she always replies to the subject with defensive statements about how her doctor says she is healthy or she's happy with herself the way she is. Some people are just buttholes.
I get this from an (equally overweight) friend of mine who SO annoyingly questions me about every. single. item. i. eat. At first I didn't even tell anyone i was doing Weight Watchers or attempting to lose weight, but when invites to go out to lunch kept coming, and I kept turning them down, I felt the need to give some kind of explination as to why I was doing that.
I LOVE peanut butter and jelly... always have, they're so yummy. I set aside the "points" for one a couple days of week (it's only 4 points with sf jam and double fiber bread!) eat it slowly, and totally enjoy it... and then the other day I get drilled about how peanut butter is SO fattening and if I ever plan on losing weight, I need to get rid of the bread and blah blah blah.
I finally just said "Well, it's been working for a month, so how about I worry about what I eat, and you worry about what you eat!" She hasn't said anything since. I honestly (and maybe this is vein of me) think that some of these kinds of comments come from jealousy... that you're actually DOING something and it's working....
ETA: just realized this is in "calorie counting" which isn't my plan... oops, sorry! Ahh well,applicable message anyway...right?
Last edited by corgiXpaws; 07-08-2010 at 01:22 AM.
What I have found funny is that while I was heavy and losing weight, no one had respect for what I was doing. Clearly I had no clue about proper diet and nutrition since I was overweight, right? In fact, I probably needed a good talking to from the diet police!
However, once I had lost a significant and obviously visible amount of weight, whatever I had to say about diet was suddenly coming from the wise thin lady sitting on the mountain top. People were now clammering to find out "how I did it" and any sage advice I had was now actually valued.
Just keep plugging away at what you are doing. Ignore them as best you can. Trust me, they'll be hanging on your every word soon enough!
You are a calorie counter. Technically, you can eat 'anything' and it's 'not a sin if you count it in.' However, we know it's best to eat healthy food.
You might mention that in calorie counting - nothing is off limits. Also, I've gotten alot of mileage out of this: "It would be so helpful to me if_________." Fill in the blanks. That might help.
Wow, that sounds like my husbands family. We made a point not to tell them that he was also trying to live healthier. I'm the outspoken one, and I don't really care what people say, and I give whatever they give me right back to them. He, however, just takes it and then gets upset at home. Since his mom found out about it, she calls him daily to make sure he's eating right and telling him he needs to watch his calories and his portion sizes and not drink and on and on and omg.
I figure, its no ones business buy mine and his.
Cheer up, though. Once you meet your goal they can all eat their words!
Telling people about your plan
