Weight Loss Support - I just don't know anymore.




View Full Version : I just don't know anymore.


Rainy
07-01-2010, 06:22 PM
I apologize for posting so many threads in the last little while but I feel like this is becoming the only place where I can vent about how I feel and have people who understand what I'm talking about or going through.

I'm scared. No, scared doesn't really cover it I don't think.. More along the lines of terrified.

I joined 3FC and I did pretty good for the first little while, it definitely makes me look inside myself for answers, or understand how my body works, but I'm losing it..

I got on new medication for adhd and anxiety, and the weight that I lost recently wasn't from me doing well in my diet, or exercise. It was the pills. I lost my appetite and that's how I lost what I have so far. The problem now is that my body has adjusted to the pills and my appetite is back. I'm starting to gain back the weight that came off and just thinking about that makes me cry.

I always get down to 190, and of course... I go back up. I haven't gotten to 180 and stayed in 180 in about four years, at least. I feel like I won't ever get my outside to match the personality I hold inside.

I see the progress other users here on 3FC have made, and it inspires me so much, but how am I supposed to do what they've done?

I've tried asking my family for help.. But they don't help. It's not that they are trying to hurt me or keep me from progressing. They just don't do anything to encourage me or make me feel like what I'm doing is right.

I can't find that balance of exercise, or food plan that has really worked. It's possible that I haven't been able to keep it up long enough to see progress, but it just gets so depressing to go for two or three weeks and see no changes on the scale, or in measurements..

I apologize for the rambling, and be such a downer but I don't know where else to turn.


mandalinn82
07-01-2010, 06:49 PM
I see the progress other users here on 3FC have made, and it inspires me so much, but how am I supposed to do what they've done?


The easy answer - you decide to. There is nothing about you that makes it impossible. Hard, yes. Impossible? No.

I've tried asking my family for help.. But they don't help. It's not that they are trying to hurt me or keep me from progressing. They just don't do anything to encourage me or make me feel like what I'm doing is right.


Ultimately, the motivation and decision to lose weight have to come from YOU. Other people won't be there all the time. Motivation won't even be there all the time. The trick is to keep going even when they're not...easier said than done, but again...possible!

I can't find that balance of exercise, or food plan that has really worked. It's possible that I haven't been able to keep it up long enough to see progress, but it just gets so depressing to go for two or three weeks and see no changes on the scale, or in measurements..


What have you tried? Maybe people can offer specific guidance if they know what you have done that hasn't worked...could be a simple tweak or suggestion can get the scale moving.

Your body has (inadvertently, through your appetite loss) showed you that your body is capable of dropping weight by eating less, right? So if you CHOOSE to eat less...not because medication drops your appetite, but because you learn strategies to eat healthier foods, limit portions, etc...you can do this!

asharksrevenge
07-01-2010, 07:11 PM
It takes a lot of guts and will power to be able to say that you are done living the way that you have been, and it takes even more will power and strength to keep going once the newness of the diet or the first few pounds have started to come off. You have to be able to say that you are going to do this one right thing for yourself everyday, and take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You won't get to your goal overnight; this is a difficult and sometimes demanding process. You need to be ready.

I think you are, and it doesn't matter if the people around you don't give you the support you're looking for right now. You will have to find it in yourself. If it is true that you don't like looking the way you do and you feel disconnected from your body, it is time for a change. The cool (and easy!) part of this process is that you get to begin and continue the second you decide to. You don't have to pay anyone, buy anything or sign a contract. If you're not ready to change what you can about the way you look and feel, you soon will be. We'll still be here when you come back. Good luck!


Rainy
07-01-2010, 07:15 PM
It seems more than just "Hard". I don't know if it's because I've tried so many times, but it almost seems like I can't do it. I will be good for a day, and then the next day my attitude is different, or I always end up telling myself that I'll "start tomorrow".

I notice myself going for unhealthy foods, or food when I'm not hungry or don't really need it. I can think to myself "I shouldn't be eating this. You don't need it." but my physical self just shrugs it off and sticks it in my mouth anyways.

I know that I can lose weight if I eat less, but when I did that before and was working out I didn't lose anything and people were saying it was because my calorie intake was too low. So now I'm stuck on what I should do or not. The problem with that also is I don't know what a small portion is considered anymore, or how often I should have something small. I feel like I overeat or eat more when I spread my meals out through the day but if I don't eat a lot for my three meals a day I feel like I'm starving myself.

I can't find any happy medium.

I ate super healthy for over a month, and didn't make progress. So then I started to eat a little less healthy and started working out for 65 minutes on an elliptical and still made no progress (And no, 65 minutes wasn't all that hard for me to do). At that point I gave up.

I've been told to do strength training, but I don't know where to even start with that. I feel so silly using those resistance bands because I have no idea if I'm even using them right.

I also realize that it's going to take time, I'm not expecting to wake up 60lbs lighter. I'm okay if it takes half a year, or a year. I just want to know that my body IS changing, and that I AM going to get results from what I'm doing, instead of being excited, and expect to see progress, get on the scale and see no change, or measure my body and not be able to say that half an inch is gone.

seagirl
07-01-2010, 07:37 PM
Why do you want to lose weight? As an end in itself? To make your life better? To improve your health? Because you think you should because of what the scale says?

I'd forget about losing weight. Work on the anxiety, the discouragement, the unhappiness - none of those are cured by losing weight.

Exercise because it's good for you and gives you endorphins and reduces anxiety, not because it will help you lose weight. Make consistent exercise the end result, regardless of your weight.

Feed your body good healthy food because you deserve it, not because you think it will make you lose weight. Make healthy eating the end result, regardless of your weight.

And find a therapist that you can talk to. A weight-loss forum might not be the best place for you to find what you need.

(I've been where you are.)

mandalinn82
07-01-2010, 07:38 PM
When you were eating "less" before, what did that mean? It is possible you're going from one extreme to another...either calories that are way too low, or calories that are way too high. When you say you ate "super-healthy", what does that mean? Were you counting calories, and if so, how many were you eating?

The thing is, if something isn't working, it means it needs to be changed...not that the entire endeavor is pointless. So trying, not seeing results, and then giving up...well, it's only going to perpetuate the problem. Making small changes might be enough to get the scale moving. Even if it doesn't, you'll be healthier for exercising and eating healthy foods, regardless of the scale.

There are a lot of websites out there with good information on how to use resistance bands, if that's the equipment you have. Here's one great resource with lots of visuals: http://exercise.about.com/cs/exerciseworkouts/l/blresistanceban.htm

There are also videos for bands that can help guide you on form.

Why not set a basic calorie allowance (say, 1500 or so), eat mostly healthy foods, do some physical activity every day, and commit to stick to it for three weeks? Counting calories will give you automatic portion control and is easy and free.

Rainy
07-01-2010, 07:51 PM
I have multiple reasons for wanting to lose weight, and I'm not THAT unhappy or lost that I need to see a therapist. (I've been there before too.) I don't plan on having an "end". I want a new beginning. I want to start living my life the way I want to and not feel held back because of my weight. These forums have helped me immensely. I feel like I'm learning a lot, and I can talk to people who are going through the same trials I am.

When I say I ate less I mean the thought of food alone kind of made me sick. I could get a few bites down, and sometimes a meal. I was content, I had energy, and I was happy with it that way. I didn't need more, and my body didn't want more. That was the affect from the medication, but that only lasted a week and I'm back to how I was before, or pretty darn close to it.

I did do calorie counting. My "Good range" is between about 1500-1600, but I was only taking in at max 1400 when I was counting them. I usually got less than that and then was told that that was too low so I tried to increase and ended up eating too much more often than not :\

When I was eating healthy I wasn't really calorie counting, but I was eating fruits and vegetables, ate at basically the same time frame every day. I avoided processed foods and ate meats like chicken in smaller portions than what I used to. I drank a lot of water (I still do that.). I didn't eat sweets or junk food.

To me, everything I did should have had SOME kind of affect, but it didn't.

asharksrevenge
07-01-2010, 09:24 PM
I can't speak for everyone, but I think the reason people have suggested an attitude change is because you're very negative and pessimistic about this process. It shows and reads across the page very clearly, and it seems that you have a lot of excuses or reasons why things aren't working for you. Though you say it would be "okay" if it took you half a year or more to lose weight, you also say that you want this to be a life change, which means results you may not see at first. It sounds to me like you are looking for instant gratification in the form of scale or measurement changes, and sometimes that just doesn't happen for a while. We are all going through this process in different ways, and may of our ideas are completely opposite (even contrary) to each others, but the one thing that successful life-changers have in common is that they stuck with it no matter what. When you are ready for that level of commitment, then you will see your life change. It seems to me that you had a good thing going when you were calorie counting and eating more fruits and vegetables. Who cares what happened when you were on your medicine? You're off it now, or it has stabilized, so you need to come up with another plan. There are a zillion plans out there. If you need help discovering what a smaller or normal sized portion looks like, you can find it on the web. This isn't the 1950's, when most women had to make do with what their mothers, friends or the Surgeon General told them about healthy choices. The options are literally at your fingertips, and claiming ignorance won't cut it anymore. So go out and find what works, and don't stop until you do. That is the way to succeed.

ruby2sday
07-01-2010, 09:51 PM
It's hard. There is no question about it. It's not an easy process, but if you are going to succeed, you have to get yourself into the right mindset. If you're not in the right mindset, and ready to do this, you will not make it work.

You have to want this for yourself. You have to want it bad enough to make the changes you need to make it happen. Only you can do that.

I learned a long time ago that not everyone can be totally supportive. It's not that they are un-supportive, they just can't always give us what we think we need from them. You have to get over that. You have to get to the point where you give yourself what you need, and not look to others.

I have been down this road so many times. I have been a size 10, and all the way up to a 24w. Trust me, I know how it feels to want to do it.

You have to believe in yourself in order for it to work. Yes, there may be days when you feel less confident than others, but you have to pull up your determination and stick with it.

You are right - there are a lot of success stories on here. If you talk to any one of them, or read their stories, you will find that they did it through a lot of determination and very hard work.

You can do this, just set your mind to it, and do what you need to do to make it happen!

schubunny
07-01-2010, 10:15 PM
Agreeing with all of the above.

The big things that jumps out at me, that is an ABSOLUTE 100% necessity is -wanting it for yourself- and -devoting yourself youself to it-

I went back and forth between 'oh ill start it tomorrow' and then not doing it for years. Then something happened that made me realize I need to do now before it's too late. I finally wanted badly enough to feel good about myself and how I looked.

You need to take away all the excess and just say 'yes im going to do this, and im going to start now and stick with it until i am satisfied'. The rest will come naturally.

JennyGirl27
07-01-2010, 10:50 PM
I went for about a year of exercising on average 6 times a week for an average of an hour each time and dieting with no weight loss. (I was consistently at about 223 no matter how much i exercised/how little I ate or how little I exercised/how much I ate!)

I was tested for insulin resistance and it turned out i had it. My dr. put me on 500 mg of metformin a day. this did not do anything.

Super frustrated, I finally got an appointment with an endocrinologist who put me on 2000 mg of metformin a day. Within the first month of being on that and doing everything I had been doing (exercising and dieting) I lost 10 pounds. (This was the first time I had been able to lose weight after trying for about a year. i was thrilled!)

During the time of trying to lose weight, I also kept food logs, and had a personal trainer. People also told me that maybe I was eating too little. Ultimately I feel that it is the metformin along with exercising and dieting that has made it possible for me to lose weight. Until then no matter what I did, no weight came off.

I am not saying that this will be the case for you. But, I do think that you should talk to your doctor about everything you are doing. I brought in food logs and exercise logs. Talk to your doctor about underlying conditions which could be holding back your weight loss (like INSULIN RESISTANCE, metabolic syndrome). In my case my fasting blood sugar is fine, but it is the level of INSULIN that is not good after consuming sugar/carbohydrates. There is a test that they can do to test for that that is done over a 2-3 hour time period. (fasting blood is taken, then you drink a sugary drink, then have blood taken at a half hour after having the sugary substance, an hour after, and 2 hours after). There are even longer versions of the test, but my understanding is that the 2 hour one is the more typical. The test sucks...especially for people like me who hate having blood drawn...but since it ultimately was able to prove what was going on in my body I consider it to have been worth the nuisance and trauma of the blood work and 2 hour testing time.

Since you say that you "have" been able to lose weight, I am not sure if this could be your problem. I do think that it is worth talking to a doctor about underlying problems that could be preventing the weight loss though.

Good luck!

Natalia
07-01-2010, 11:21 PM
I think the test Jenny is referring to is the Glucose Tolerance Test, or Glucose Challenge. Here in Canada at least, they are mandatory for pregnant women, to make sure you don't have gestational diabetes.

LotusMama
07-02-2010, 02:35 AM
It seems more than just "Hard". I don't know if it's because I've tried so many times, but it almost seems like I can't do it. I will be good for a day, and then the next day my attitude is different, or I always end up telling myself that I'll "start tomorrow".

I notice myself going for unhealthy foods, or food when I'm not hungry or don't really need it. I can think to myself "I shouldn't be eating this. You don't need it." but my physical self just shrugs it off and sticks it in my mouth anyways.

Rainy, hang in there. You are not alone; many of us have made repeated attempts at weight loss. I have also said " I will start tomorrow" more times than I can even count. And, I have also had times where I just frankly didn't care and ate, just as you describe.

One thing that has helped me is Dr. Beck's Diet Solution. The book is not a diet book in the traditional sense (i.e., it does not recommend an eating plan). Rather, it is a book that teaches you cognitive therapy techniqes to combat the thoughts/situations that cause you to go off track. While some parts of the book didn't speak to me at all, there were many times when the behaviors and ways of thinking that Dr. Beck described were spot on (I frequently found myself thinking, "I thought I was the only one who did that!"). I use a lot of the techniques I learned in the book to help keep myself on track. I recommend it to you.

The bottom line is this: you can absolutely do this, there is no doubt in my mind.

Keep on keeping on,

J

Suzie Parker
07-02-2010, 08:15 AM
Hi Rainy,

I understand your frustration. But you need to hang in there! You can lose weight, you just have to believe in yourself.

Lots of anxiety and ADHD meds can make you gain weight and can make it very difficult to lose weight. And that makes it even more difficult to know what and how much to eat to lose weight.

You may think that you need to eat this or that and that much, but when you are on such meds, you won't know at all.

If you have the money available to consult with a dietitian or a nutritionist, I highly recommend it. It is an excellent investment and you will learn exactly what to eat and how much to eat to lose weight. The dietitian will also take into consideration your meds and your specific needs and she will ensure that you lose the weight. She will also teach you how to keep your weight off.

If you don't have the money to see a dietitian (it's really worth every cent and I highly recommend it), here's what you can do (just some things that works for me):

* Cut out or limit your take-aways - try to avoid fast food shops
* Eat 6 times a day to help keep you full
* Don't cut out carbs, it is the energy for the body
* Don't deny yourself sweets, you will only binge if you do that. Rather try and practice control and only have a few and not that often
* Have a decent breakfast and use low fat cooking methods. Oats is one of the best breakfast cereals that will keep you the fullest.
* Ensure that you have whole-grains/Low GI carbs for lunch with lean protein and healthy fats. A whole-wheat tuna sandwich with reduced fat mayo, lettuce and tomato is a good choice.
* Have a small mid-morning and an afternoon snack to keep you full. Fruit, fat free yogurt, nuts, and a small whole-wheat or whole-grain carb snack.
* For dinner have a portion of lean protein (chicken, fish or lean red meat), a portion of healthy carbs (baby potatoes, sweet potatoes, brown rice, whole-wheat pasta or whole-wheat couscous), and lots of veggies or salad. A skinless grilled chicken breast with a boiled baby potatoes and a big salad is an excellent choice.
*Have a small snack after dinner. Like fruit or even lite hot-chocolate.

And try to not weigh or measure yourself that often. Do it only once a month. That way you won't be discouraged and you won't give up that easily. And if you fall of the wagon one (or more) day(s), don't stop, just continue with your good work.

You probable also know that you have to do some exercise to lose weight. If you don't like exercise, there is a number of other fun things you can do to lose weight. And remember if you enjoy the activities, you will be more likely to stick to it and you will be sure to lose weight.

Fun activities that you can do includes:

* Walking your dog
* Hiking
* Belly or pole dancing classes
* Dance classes
* Play a sport like tennis, golf or a team sport
* or any other activity that you would like that will help you to lose weight.

Remember that weight loss is a life-time process and that you must be patient and consistent for it to work. But if you follow my diet tips and you do some exercise every day, you will lose that weight slowly but surely.

Good luck, I know you can do it!

Rainy
07-02-2010, 05:54 PM
I spent most of the night last night, and all of today thus far taking in what everyone has said in response to my original post yesterday. At first some replies gave me a little courage, and others made me angry...
but after looking at everything, I can't be angry. I was looking for some kind of instant result and wasn't seeing any.

I need to start acting more mature, and understand that this does need to be a change in my life that I can't just toss away when I throw a fit, or get upset.

Thank you for reaching out to give me advice, or your opinions on my outlook. I am going to do everything within my power to change and achieve the life I know I deserve.

yhahmd
07-02-2010, 06:09 PM
I spent most of the night last night, and all of today thus far taking in what everyone has said in response to my original post yesterday. At first some replies gave me a little courage, and others made me angry...
but after looking at everything, I can't be angry. I was looking for some kind of instant result and wasn't seeing any.

I need to start acting more mature, and understand that this does need to be a change in my life that I can't just toss away when I throw a fit, or get upset.

Thank you for reaching out to give me advice, or your opinions on my outlook. I am going to do everything within my power to change and achieve the life I know I deserve.
One of the main reasons I stopped taking my medication for ADHD was because it hindered my appetite so much so that if I ran out (and I have no insurance, so I have no way of getting a refill), I'd gain all the weight back. I find it's much easier to learn more self control and rewire my brain, as crazy as that sounds.

Then again, once I start working again I might just need my meds, lol:p We'll see.

Anyway, you can definitely do anything you put your mind to. For the first two and a half weeks or so, I didn't see any progress at all. Then on the third week, BAM. I was noticing the number on the scale go down, and my measurements were different, etc. It just takes some time, effort, and lots of tweaking to see what effects you.

You'll get where you want to be. :smug: