Weight Loss Support - i was on Day 3 and i JUST BLEW IT!! :(




neveragainbabe
06-30-2010, 11:10 PM
i was on day 3 of eating healthy and exercising, but today my bf and i went out to eat at a restaurant and i got a juicy cheeseburger and fries and ice cream. i couldn't resist! Now hours later, I am back at home feeling miserable. That meal was the amount of calories I am supposed to eat in a DAY! i completely blew it, and didn't even exercise today either. Now I feel like I'm back to square one.... :(


http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wOjqoJq/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wOjqoJq/)


Rainy
06-30-2010, 11:14 PM
You're not back to square one, by any means. The fact that you're taking note of your calories, and understanding that doing it isn't good is enough to make you have had a good day three :]
Everyone has their days where they eat a little more than they should, or don't exercise. You just need to hold your head up and push forward to tomorrow. Day 4 :]
You can do this girly.
Don't let one slip up hold you back!

skygirl
06-30-2010, 11:16 PM
start over right away. don't let yourself get more off track.

the progress you made yesterday and the day before still count, so build on that and try not to let tonight's dinner get you too down.

just try to remember how you felt yesterday, look at your post and how happy you were when you made it through day 2.

and maybe let your bf know what you are trying to accomplish and ask him if he can be a source of support and maybe the two of you can choose a different kind of restaurant next time, or better yet, go for a walk together.

hang in there! :)


Lori Bell
06-30-2010, 11:27 PM
What made you do it? I mean, what thought was going through your head when you decided to order that food?

neveragainbabe
06-30-2010, 11:29 PM
it's just so hard! do people who are trying to lose weight just not go out to eat ever? lol and no one say, "wellll there are healthy options like a light salad with fat free dressing on the side" hahha because i'm pretty sure if us diet ladies are going to splurge ONE time on our favorite restaurant, we should order what we want! that's just my opinion :)


http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wOjqoJq/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wOjqoJq/)

Shmead
06-30-2010, 11:36 PM
This is where you need to stop and THINK about why this happened and how you can prevent it in the future.

Why couldn't you resist? Is it that you were so, so hungry? Is it that you didn't want to disappoint him or have him ask why? Is it that it felt weird ordering a "healthy" option when you are a cheeseburger and fries kind of gal? Is it because it seems like a tragic missed chance to get something wonderful?

I've had all those problems. "Trying harder" won't help, if by "trying harder" you mean "Making myself feel like crap and punishing myself for a couple days with negative self talk". Lots of people (myself included) feel like they can "pay" for overeating by feeling enough guilt and shame after. But guilt and shame don't burn calories.

What you need is a plan. Your days of looking at menus in the booth are over. That's FOOD PORN. It's designed by brilliant, brilliant people--people that made 1600s on their SATs and got Ph.Ds in marketing from Ivy League schools--it's designed by people like that who have put hundreds of hours into designing something that makes you want to EAT EAT EAT EAT. The only way to win this game is not to play. Don't look at the menu.

Instead, plan in advance what you are going to eat at a time when you aren't hungry. Look at the on line menu. Then, once you know, PRACTICE YOUR ORDER. Out loud. You feel weird, but I swear this helps. Say it exactly how you want to say it to the waiter: "I'll have the blah-blah, no mayo, please, and with double steamed veggies". Keep saying it until it feels natural. Then, when you get to the place, order as quickly as possible. And DON'T LOOK AT THE MENU!

You don't need more strength, more will-power, or to try harder. You don't need more guilt or shame. You need PLANS and STRATEGIES, and when you have trouble coming up with some, come here. The people here have thousands of brilliant ones.

MaddiesMom
06-30-2010, 11:37 PM
We all have to go out to eat some time, but you have to make healthy choices (that doesn't necessarily mean a salad). You can have grilled chicken with steamed veggies. Or...a lot of restaurants post their nutritional information online so you can see the calories/fat content in the food before you go, so that way you can choose your menu ahead of time.

There is always going to be temptation, we all just have to learn to resist. Don't let one meal derail you, start again right now. Perhaps go for a walk if it isn't too late where you are. Eat healthy tomorrow, you'll feel better and back on track.

yhahmd
06-30-2010, 11:46 PM
I don't mean to be rude, but the only way you're going to actually lose anything is if you get your head in the game. We all have days (or even weekends/weeks) where eating healthy just doesn't happen, for whatever reason, but we need to learn to get right back up and start over if we ever want to see any progress. (Last week? I ate waffles and KFC and doritos. I'm not proud of it, but I got over it and won't make the same mistakes this week. That was actually my very first binge since the 8th) You need to be responsible for your actions, and it's going to take some mental rewriting, but you'll get it, don't worry! Just start over tomorrow, eat healthy, and exercise if you can.

I used to get obsessively hung up over the days where I had to eat fast food/whatever, too, but then I learned to just go with the flow. If you HAVE to eat something you aren't sure about, eat less, or eat an alternative. Order steamed veggies instead of taters, order grilled chicken instead of fried, or order the fish, or grilled chicken salad, etc.

angiemo3
06-30-2010, 11:49 PM
You haven't blown it!!!! You wake up tomorrow and make better choices and put today behind you. The reason most people fail at "dieting" is because they deprive themselves of everything they want. For me that makes it even more appealing if it is forbidden. Tonight I made the choice to fry fish instead of broil...later I regretted it but tomorrow I will not dwell on today's mistakes.

If you think of yourself as a failure you will become one. The best thing I read in your post is that you acknowledge the mistake and you still want to do well. It would have been so easy to not write about it but you did.

Tomorrow you hop back on that horse and start back towards your goal.
I can not speak for anyone but me on the eating out thing but my opinion is that you limit the number of times you eat out and when you do it is a treat and you should order what you want within reason of course.

fcmonroe
07-01-2010, 12:05 AM
it's just so hard! do people who are trying to lose weight just not go out to eat ever? lol and no one say, "wellll there are healthy options like a light salad with fat free dressing on the side" hahha because i'm pretty sure if us diet ladies are going to splurge ONE time on our favorite restaurant, we should order what we want! that's just my opinion :)


http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wOjqoJq/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wOjqoJq/)

I had to make a comment about this statement. It all depends on how often you want to be able to go to your favorite restuarant!! Personally, I'd rather be able to go out a little more often by ordering one of the more sensible (not quite the right word here) options on the menu. I enjoy the social aspects of eating out a lot, and I try to keep that the focus instead of the food.

To recap, your choices are:
1. Don't eat out.
2. Learn to eat out and stay on your plan.
3. Feel like you've "blown it" every time you go out!!

Good luck! And try some new things from your favorite places. You may find some new favorite foods.

Glory87
07-01-2010, 12:10 AM
it's just so hard! do people who are trying to lose weight just not go out to eat ever? lol and no one say, "wellll there are healthy options like a light salad with fat free dressing on the side" hahha because i'm pretty sure if us diet ladies are going to splurge ONE time on our favorite restaurant, we should order what we want! that's just my opinion :)


Honestly, when I was actively losing weight, I ate on plan - even in a restaurant. I did have one treat meal - on my birthday. Otherwise, I made healthy choices at every meal - at home, at work, in restaurants.

There are yummy on plan meals that I eat in restaurants. Are they AS YUMMY as a cheeseburger/fries/ice cream? Maybe not. Are they perfectly yummy in their own right? YES. Am I happy to have a yummy dinner in a restaurant when I don't have to cook/do dishes? YES.

I like to use the internet to plan my order before I get to a restaurant, then I am not tempted by the words/pictures in the menu, I rarely open it. I order double veggies, salad dressing on the side, light butter all the time. I rarely eat an entire restaurant portion - they are just too big to be good for me!

Now that I'm maintaining, I do have weekly treat meals. I eat a nice dinner in a restaurant and drink a glass of wine, split dessert. There are some foods I gave up forever, including fries/onion rings - I just don't eat those.

I weigh calories vs. satisfaction, fries/onion rings fail this equation (too many calories, not enough satisfaction). Some food passes this equation - chocolate molten lava cake (lots of calories, HIGH SATISFACTION). Or...birthday cake for my birthday (high calories, HIGH SENTIMENTAL SATISFACTION). Only you can run this equation for the food in your life.

I think you are going to face up to the fact there must be changes in your life if you want to lose weight and keep it off. How you order in a restaurant is one of these big changes. If you go to a restaurant once every 6 months - okay yeah, order what you want. If you are like most of the American public and eat out a LOT - you are going to have to make good choices MOST OF THE TIME to live your healthy dream.

You can rail against the universe that it is unfair and you want to order what you want, when you want. Or, you be like a lot of thin people and realize you MUST budget your calories in restaurants.

ledom
07-01-2010, 12:26 AM
Thanks for that post Glory87.

dcapulet
07-01-2010, 01:00 AM
I've had all those problems. "Trying harder" won't help, if by "trying harder" you mean "Making myself feel like crap and punishing myself for a couple days with negative self talk". Lots of people (myself included) feel like they can "pay" for overeating by feeling enough guilt and shame after.

This almost made me cry. I never realized that I had been doing that same thing- making myself "pay" by being shameful and guilty after a slip. But it's so true.

As these very smart ladies have already said - pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on - because only you can do it.

Good luck!

sacha
07-01-2010, 09:21 AM
Here is my strategy - maybe it can help you.

1. Only go to a restaurant with nutritional info online.
2. When you are not hungry (this takes planning!), choose an item in your calorie budget.
3. Write it down and keep it. Take it to the restaurant.
4. DON'T LOOK AT THE MENU
5. Order what you wrote!

Just try it once and see if it helps.

rockinrobin
07-01-2010, 10:34 AM
it's just so hard! do people who are trying to lose weight just not go out to eat ever? lol and no one say, "wellll there are healthy options like a light salad with fat free dressing on the side" hahha because i'm pretty sure if us diet ladies are going to splurge ONE time on our favorite restaurant, we should order what we want! that's just my opinion :)


http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wOjqoJq/weight.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wOjqoJq/)

It's funny, because in your original post you said you were MISERABLE. And than you kind of made fun of having salad, as if that's not good, as if it's boring. But since you were/are so miserable, I'm not sure what this *splurge* really accomplished for you.

Besides,*splurging* on day three? A little early in on the game, no? You have to decide what you want the MOST, because you can't have it both ways. You can't have the high calorie foods AND lose weight and be slim. It just can't be. And I too eat out in restaurants and enjoy myself immensely. I did so yesterday. Had a mega sized salad with incredible add ins. They had no lower calorie dressing - I had it without. The roasted peppers, onions, mushrooms, hearts of palm and all the other good stuff in there made it more than good enough without it. It was delicious in fact. I had a diet snapple and I was thoroughly satisfied. Enjoyed the company - and didn't come home miserable. Twas' a win/win situation

Yes, eating healthy IS a lifestyle. A darn good one. :)

chnkymonkey
07-01-2010, 10:42 AM
Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off.
Get your head back in the game.

Learn your lesson from the experience and move on. You know you HAVE to plan ahead from now forward. If you don't have the willpower to not order the cheeseburger and fries then stay away from those types of restaurants until you can get your new way of eating into a full blown habit that you enjoy.

You will find that after a few weeks of eating healthy that you really don't care to have that greasy food any more.

Beach Patrol
07-01-2010, 10:58 AM
Your days of looking at menus in the booth are over. That's FOOD PORN.

OMG!!!! THAT is THE perfect description!!!! "Food porn"!!!!!! I will always remember those two words EVERY SINGLE TIME I look at a menu - no matter what kind of restaurant I'm at!!! - THANK YOU!!!! "food porn"... heh!!! :dizzy: :D

And to the original poster... don't beat yourself up over the issue. FORGIVE YOURSELF. Move on! - anytime you eat "crappy" like that, then EAT BETTER at your very next meal! Maybe give your exercise a bit more attention that day!

Also, here's something that really helps me... when I feel like I JUST HAVE TO HAVE "the bad food"... I go ahead & order it, but I only eat HALF. Or, I'll have JUST the cheeseburger & NOT the fries or whatever. That way, I'm indulging WHAT I WANT, but not going ALL OUT so I'm bitter toward myself about it later.

Remember... CREDIT YOURSELF for the good things! And FORGIVE YOURSELF for the not so good! :hug:

ThicknPretty
07-01-2010, 11:15 AM
I pigged out ALL last weekend. I still feel a little guilty and gross and am a little angry with myself for the ground I lost...but I'll feel even worse if I don't get back on track and that's exactly what I did. And I feel in control. If anything, it's even more awesome that right after a day of cheesebread from Dominoes (ohhh...garlic, butter and cheese...) and blow pops and pepsi, I woke up and got RIGHT back on track. In the past, I would have let the binge-party go all week, heck maybe all month. We have to reward ourselves for even the smallest things...and changing your mindset is one of them. Even if you did eat too much, you acknowledged it and your health is still a priority to you, you haven't given up...gold star for you missy!

Lori Bell
07-01-2010, 11:45 AM
We have to reward ourselves for even the smallest things...and changing your mindset is one of them. Even if you did eat too much, you acknowledged it and your health is still a priority to you, you haven't given up...gold star for you missy!
:?: I don't get it. Why do we have to reward ourselves for tiny things....with cheeseburgers and ice cream no less? I really think that is THE major problem with society in general, we think we deserve to be rewarded for doing nothing. The OP went out and very consciously ordered a heap of crap to eat...and she should be rewarded? I don't think she should be punished, but I see no reason for a gold star either...Oh boy.

Feel bad, get over it, and move on. No reward, just life.

rockinrobin
07-01-2010, 11:54 AM
Also, here's something that really helps me... when I feel like I JUST HAVE TO HAVE "the bad food"... I go ahead & order it, but I only eat HALF. Or, I'll have JUST the cheeseburger & NOT the fries or whatever. That way, I'm indulging WHAT I WANT, but not going ALL OUT so I'm bitter toward myself about it later.
:

I WANT to be slim, trim, healthy, fit and have an incredible wardrobe - I WANT that - so I have to do what's NECESSARY to MAKE THAT HAPPEN. So as far as my food goes, I had to change what I WANTED to EAT. I can't *indulge* (very often, not at all initially) my unhealthy WANTS and be healthy and fit. You can't have it both ways. There is ALWAYS a price to pay for those unhealthy indulgences in excess calories and excess pounds. Yup, I had to change what I WANT to eat. I had to change my lifestyle and realize that I can have delicious foods AND be healthy, fit and trim - I just had to find DIFFERENT delicious foods. Ones that taste good and are good for me. Ones that don't leave me fat and "miserable".

yhahmd
07-01-2010, 11:57 AM
:?: I don't get it. Why do we have to reward ourselves for tiny things....with cheeseburgers and ice cream no less? I really think that is THE major problem with society in general, we think we deserve to be rewarded for doing nothing. The OP went out and very consciously ordered a heap of crap to eat...and she should be rewarded? I don't think she should be punished, but I see no reason for a gold star either...Oh boy.

Feel bad, get over it, and move on. No reward, just life.

I can see both sides of views here. I'm more with Lori Bell, personally. I don't give myself rewards. The reward is seeing the change in me and the numbers on the scale go down. I do give myself treats- sometimes I get junior mints (16 is only 170 calories), sometimes I eat those Werthers original candies. Three of them is only 140, I believe-- I don't recall.

But I agree. I know it's hard- I love to eat. Cheese, bread, candy, you name it. But I had to slow down, and stay conscious of what I ate and when and how much. If she wants to lose any weight, she'll have to, as well. You can't always get what you want. Meaning you can't lose weight and eat everything you want.

However, I have a hamburger maybe once or twice a month with my family. I either get a small one or cut it in half. I don't add mayo or cheese like I used to. You can STILL have the things you want occasionally, but you need to learn to say no, and you need to learn to balance what you eat. I was really strict with my calories at first, now I'm starting to slip. I doubt I'm getting anywhere near what I need a day, so I need to stop being lazy and get back on it, because really, it isn't hard. If you want to see a change in yourself, you have to put in the effort.

Either way, OP, just get right up and try again. Don't let yourself get discouraged just because of one day. :hug:

nelie
07-01-2010, 12:00 PM
:?: I don't get it. Why do we have to reward ourselves for tiny things....with cheeseburgers and ice cream no less? I really think that is THE major problem with society in general, we think we deserve to be rewarded for doing nothing. The OP went out and very consciously ordered a heap of crap to eat...and she should be rewarded? I don't think she should be punished, but I see no reason for a gold star either...Oh boy.

Feel bad, get over it, and move on. No reward, just life.

She wasn't saying you should reward yourself with food but reward yourself mentally for acknowledging that you made a mistake.

As for me, I eat in restaurants, I definitely portion control and almost always skip dessert unless I've planned for it ahead of time and planned my meal accordingly. Although for the first few months of my weight loss, I didn't go out to eat because I knew I couldn't handle trying to get my food right and eating out.

kellygram
07-01-2010, 12:13 PM
How about recruiting your BF, friends and family to support you in your weight loss journey? ;) My husband didn't say "hey let's go grab a burger and fries!" on Day 3 of my weight loss, because he knew how bad I wanted to lose weight. He altered his eating along with me and never complained. Having a support system is so important in the beginning.

Beach Patrol
07-01-2010, 12:19 PM
I WANT to be slim, trim, healthy, fit and have an incredible wardrobe - I WANT that - so I have to do what's NECESSARY to MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

Good for you Robin! - you seem to have truly awesome willpower!

But... for people like me, if I don't indulge once in a while...or if I say "NO WAY" to foods I absolutely love - then eventually I'll cave & go all out crazy on a binge. And that usually makes me feel physically sick & gross. So it's better for me to have half a cheeseburger than eat something I really don't want, as long as I only do it once in a while.

And FTR, I rarely eat cheeseburgers! or fast food at all. :D

Shmead
07-01-2010, 12:29 PM
The problem with "feeling bad" is that a lot of people assume this somehow "makes up" for the bad choices: like a kid (or bad boyfriend) who hurts your feelings and apologizes and feels bad for a while and then thinks it's all paid off like it never happened. This clears the way for another mistake.

The problem with "feeling good and forgiving yourself" is there is a risk you won't take the lapse seriously enough and repeat it because it wasn't a big deal.

The WORST patten is the emotional roller-coaster of binging, beating yourself up, confessing to the world, feeling like crap, then dramatically getting forgiven/forgiving yourself. Turning a meal into an episode of Oprah just ties more and more and more emotion into every food choice, which makes it harder to make rational choices.

This is why I prefer to (as much as possible) remove emotion entirely and focus on behaviors and strategies and plans to make sure it doesn't happen again. Feel bad, forgive yourself, whatever. Think about why it happened and how you can prevent it happening again.

jendiet
07-01-2010, 12:30 PM
Honey, i totally understand. I a started anew...and was doing fine using the exchange system. And I HAD to go to Hardees cuz i was so hungry. I got a chicken taco salad (grilled chicken) and it was 950 cs! I didn't realize it at first, but that meal made me feel sluggish and miserable...the next day i realized how many calories i had eaten. It really stinks--but you move on.

ALL OF THE SUCCESSFUL dieters, who are MAINTAINING. Maintaining being the key word. Allow themselves ONE cheat day. I remember reading Sandra Bullock has hers on Fridays. She just eats what she wants on that day.

DEPRIVATION- is a major issue that contributes to failure. every now and again, is not going to hurt, but all the time...that is where it gets bad.

so what to do. no matter how you slice it, it's about calories in vs. out. People have different methods to handle this. So if you are faced with a siutation about going out. Order smaller portions. A cheeseburger and a small fry. Or a small shake. Is not that damaging--the point is know the calories.

but right now, move on. Get back on there. you can do this!

nelie
07-01-2010, 12:51 PM
ALL OF THE SUCCESSFUL dieters, who are MAINTAINING. Maintaining being the key word. Allow themselves ONE cheat day. I remember reading Sandra Bullock has hers on Fridays. She just eats what she wants on that day.


I don't think this is the case if you read the maintainers forum here at 3FC. Some maintainers allow themselves an occasional "cheat" meal but I don't know anyone who allows themselves an entire day.

Lori Bell
07-01-2010, 01:01 PM
She wasn't saying you should reward yourself with food but reward yourself mentally for acknowledging that you made a mistake...



Ohhh, sorry, I misunderstood. The reward thing always gets me. I guess I just feel so darn rewarded sticking to plan, and feeling good, that there seems no reason for any other reward.

Sorry Thinkandpretty, for misunderstanding your post.

Lori Bell
07-01-2010, 01:13 PM
ALL OF THE SUCCESSFUL dieters, who are MAINTAINING. Maintaining being the key word. Allow themselves ONE cheat day. I remember reading Sandra Bullock has hers on Fridays. She just eats what she wants on that day

I would consider myself successful, and yes, I do have splurge days. Since the beginning of the year I can count on one hand the days I cut loose. I also PLAN for them, and make sure that I am a pound or 2 under goal before I partake. I also usually have to follow-up with several perfectly on plan days after....(Once it took me 10 days to get back to my goal weight...crazy). So while it it true that I have "cheat" days, they are also very few and far in between. Like less than once a month.

Glory87
07-01-2010, 01:15 PM
Yeah - I have a weekly treat meal, but even then, it is never a blow out. I still stick to my "rules" - no more than 2 glasses of wine, stay out of the bread basket, no fried foods, no cream-based sauces, no fast food, split a dessert (not have one to myself). It is a bigger meal than usual to be sure, but it isn't a 2K calorie bomb either (which is super easy to do in a restaurant for ONE meal with fruity drinks, appetizers, cheesy/creamy dinner + dessert).

And it is definitely ONE meal, not a treat day.

I agree with some of the posters above, I do agree it is important to forgive yourself and move on, BUT I feel it is equally important to try to figure out WHY offplan eating happened and to take a minute to think of strategies to prevent a recurrence (did I not have a planned snack on hand, was I bored, too hungry, gave in to peer pressure, didn't look up the calories first and got calorie sticker shock later?).

Of course, I have to forgive myself (nobody is perfect) but that doesn't mean I give myself permission to just lalalalala eat whatever, I will forgive myself!

fivestone
07-01-2010, 01:29 PM
How about recruiting your BF, friends and family to support you in your weight loss journey? ;) My husband didn't say "hey let's go grab a burger and fries!" on Day 3 of my weight loss, because he knew how bad I wanted to lose weight. He altered his eating along with me and never complained. Having a support system is so important in the beginning.

Yes, this. If you develop your plan, and then let your BF in on what that plan is, so he can support you and work with you, that would be awesome.

I just made the same agreement with my husband. He happily told me to go ahead and just start cooking my plan meals for him too instead of doing two separate meals, and he never tempts me anyway with fast food or the like, because he knows that McDonald's is NOT part of the plan, you know? ;)

ThicknPretty
07-01-2010, 02:42 PM
Thank you Nelie for helping clarify. I was definitely not saying that her mentality should have been, "Good job for my two days on track...now to stuff my face as a reward!"

I marvel at myself every day. I really do. It's not arrogance, it's not pride or being conceited. It's truly a wonder that I am now able to regain control after I slip up. That I finally have my priorities in place and have healthy goals in mind and I am able to use those to find my footing after a big mistake. I am PROUD of myself for this. I can no longer shrug off my weight loss goals in favor of eating like crap because it's finally, truly important.

Rewards are not always bad. Rewards are not even always tangible. A reward can be just giving yourself an emotional and mental break, or an emotional and mental pat on the back: "In the past I would have let this go on for much longer, good for me for stopping it now."

I just hate to see anyone beat themselves up over mistakes because it really just makes it harder in the long run.

rockinrobin
07-01-2010, 04:35 PM
Good for you Robin! - you seem to have truly awesome willpower!

But... for people like me, if I don't indulge once in a while...or if I say "NO WAY" to foods I absolutely love - then eventually I'll cave & go all out crazy on a binge. And that usually makes me feel physically sick & gross. So it's better for me to have half a cheeseburger than eat something I really don't want, as long as I only do it once in a while.

And FTR, I rarely eat cheeseburgers! or fast food at all. :D

Oh no, no, no. This has NOTHING to do with will power. Nothing at all. It's willingNESS. It's what *I'm* willing to do to get to my goals and stay there. Willpower? Nah. Can't rely on it. Not enough to get the job done. It's that willingness and that willingness has created new healthy habits for me - and THEY are what keeps me going and gets me through. It's automatic to me. And like I said, *I* needed to change what foods I *wanted*. When I eliminated *that stuff*, my wants for them faded.

Do I have a splurge meal every now and then now that I'm in maintenance? You betcha. But each and every time I have a splurge it is ALWAYS with the knowledge that my weight will go up. Like Glory, I was not willing to do that during the losing portion of my journey, save but a couple of times.

We all have different paths that we take - provided we get where we want to go when we want to get there, it's all good! :)

jendiet
07-01-2010, 07:02 PM
um, let me clarify, Mrs. Bullock takes a day to eat sensibly what she wants. If she wants a donut she has a donut. Here is some info from an interview.

As for diet, Sandra is the adept of the “weekly cheat day” rule, meaning, she allows herself one day a week when she can eat whatever she wants. This helps her stay motivated for the rest of the time, and concentrate on eating healthy. Speaking of which, Bullock admits she does not diet, choosing instead to avoid junk food and fatty foods in general and eating only stuff that she knows is good for her, such as fish, chicken and lots of vegetables.

Sandra eats what she wants, but tries to stay away from junk food until the weekend. She eats a balanced diet and uses portion control to stay slim.

nelie
07-01-2010, 07:05 PM
jendiet - I've never seen Sandra Bullock overweight but my point was just because 1 maintainer has a 'cheat' day doesn't mean all of them do.

jendiet
07-01-2010, 07:10 PM
Sandra was overweight as a kid. I think some people just can't deal with too much rigidity. It's bad for their psyche and they fail time and time again. I think babe, needs to realize she might be one of those people. And be lenient with herself AND learn methods to get over her fear of structure and rigidity. If she realizes this is NOT "all or nothing" NOW she will be better off..so good to fall off the wagon in the beginning a couple of times and get that DOWN. Then to be trudging along and doing PERFECT and then mess up and think the WORLD ENDED.

nelie
07-01-2010, 07:21 PM
jendiet - I don't disagree with you, I think people should be able to accept their mistakes, learn from them and move on. If I dwell on when I have an episode of eating too much, it may end up with me having multiple days of eating too much. If I tell myself "I over did it, time to get back to it", then I do much better.

Shmead
07-01-2010, 07:26 PM
A weekly "cheat day" would screw me up entirely. I would way, way overeat because my brain would be all "better eat that today, it's your last chance". I'd go out of my way to find yummy stuff to eat--and the stuff I like to eat the most is all very high calorie. If on such a cheat day I had 4000 calories--which isn't even crazy, that would be 2300 more than I usually have. That would add over 300 calories to my daily average. That's enough to have a noticeable effect on one's weight loss.

I have a free meal once a month (though even there I have rules). Even that adds 50 calories/day to my count, and I acknowledge that it is probably slowing me down a little.

If you do the math, those splurges really add up. Doesn't mean that people can't ever indulge, but unless a person is ready to lose weight very, very, very slowly, an indulgence needs to be "A low-fat soft-serve ice cream cone" or "Half a cheeseburger, with steamed veggies", not a free for all.

MonteCristo
07-02-2010, 10:20 AM
I love the idea of a cheat day, but I just can't manage one. You wouldn't believe how much I can eat in one day. :o I know stomachs are suppose to shrink if you eat less, but apparently mine is super stretchy. :(

Lori Bell
07-02-2010, 11:28 AM
A weekly "cheat day" would screw me up entirely. I would way, way overeat because my brain would be all "better eat that today, it's your last chance"...
Me too. I can't even begin to imagine how much weight I gained over the years preparing to start a "diet".

I guess a good indicator if your "safe" to have cheat days is if you never ate like a pig the day/week/month before many numerous diet attempts. :D

mkendrick
07-02-2010, 11:50 AM
I dunno, I feel like I cheat and indulge fairly frequently and fairly significantly. It never ever hindered my weight loss and has not affected my maintenance.

I see so many posts about people who allow themselves a treat of a fun-size snickers or something. Shoot, a treat for me is a Chinese take out meal. Or a big piece of chocolate cake like I had at Olive Garden the other night. I have had some serious cheat treats, meals, and days. Some were planned for, some were unplanned for. I never want to feel completely deprived, because I know myself, and that's when I would fail. If I said "I can never have X food again," I would last about two days and then go crazy eating X food, lol. Similar to what Glory was saying on a broader scale...it's an equation of satisfaction to calories. I am satisfied with being a thin healthy person with a great wardrobe. BUT, I would NOT be satisfied as a thin healthy person who never ever got to eat cake, cookies, pizza, Chinese, burgers, ice cream, etc etc. That would not be a happy life for me. So to maximize my satisfaction in life, I want to be a thin healthy person who can occasionally enjoy treats. (And of course, enjoying treats means extra exercise, eating light, planning, etc). Just the fact that those foods aren't forbidden vastly decreases the temptation for them. Sure, I could have a piece of cake, it's not a crime...but do I really want to do all that extra exercise and give up other foods today to eat that piece of cake? Nah, not really...maybe next week. And maybe next week I will, and it'll be worth it.

I while I have felt guilty about "cheats," I would MUCH rather deal with reality than guilt. I get on the scale every single morning no matter what I ate the day before. Yeah, the scale is up after those cheat days. I accept that as reality. I don't beat myself up over it. I realize that some of it is water weight, some of it is digesting food weight, and some of it is slight gain back. I don't guilt and shame myself into restricting my calories the next day or working out for three hours. I look at the displeasing number on the scale and say "ew, gross, thank God I'm back on plan today!" And I exercise and eat clean as normal.

Those foods are not evil, they don't have to be considered forbidden. Cake and cheeseburgers did not make me fat. My habit of eating cake and cheeseburgers and everything else in excess day after day made me fat. I can eat those foods that I truly honestly get great satisfaction out of, but I had to learn to do it in a much healthier way. Rare treats in moderation.

Shmead
07-02-2010, 12:16 PM
I guess a good indicator if your "safe" to have cheat days is if you never ate like a pig the day/week/month before many numerous diet attempts. :D

No kidding! Let's just sat that the same formidable planning skills that allowed me to be successful in the past can be used for evil. I can binge with an efficiency that would be impressive if it weren't pathetic.

Shmead
07-02-2010, 12:19 PM
Those foods are not evil, they don't have to be considered forbidden. Cake and cheeseburgers did not make me fat. My habit of eating cake and cheeseburgers and everything else in excess day after day made me fat. I can eat those foods that I truly honestly get great satisfaction out of, but I had to learn to do it in a much healthier way. Rare treats in moderation.

Right, but the original poster seems to be in a place where "occasionally" is "every three days" and "moderation" is " just one full meal and dessert" or "just one free day". That thinking has to be shifted--and I've been there. It takes effort to learn to think of "occasionally" as "once a month or less" and moderation as "cheeseburger OR fries".

Beach Patrol
07-02-2010, 12:30 PM
I never want to feel completely deprived, because I know myself, and that's when I would fail. If I said "I can never have X food again," I would last about two days and then go crazy eating X food, lol.

Those foods are not evil, they don't have to be considered forbidden. Cake and cheeseburgers did not make me fat. My habit of eating cake and cheeseburgers and everything else in excess day after day made me fat. I can eat those foods that I truly honestly get great satisfaction out of, but I had to learn to do it in a much healthier way. Rare treats in moderation.


I have to say that I completely agree with this! - for some of us, never having "junk food" ever again is just not an option. Cutting it way down IS an option. Having a small bite-size Snickers bar is a good way to "have your cake & eat it too" ;) :D

Heather
07-02-2010, 01:11 PM
As often happens with these discussions, it seems we have a lot of definitions of "cheat". I agree that I don't want to give up some foods forever. But if I do decide to indulge and have an ice cream cone, I don't necessarily consider that a 'cheat". I'm a calorie counter. So if I write down the cone that I ate and keep within my calorie count for the day, it's not a cheat. It IS an indulgenge. A rare indulgence when I'm on plan.

For me, the danger comes when I stop writing things down. Trying to stay on plan, I might still have an ice cream cone... and then another two days later... and then some cookies... then I'm on a "cheat bender"... :( Not a good thing.

tea2
07-02-2010, 01:17 PM
One tip that I read on a diet blog that helped me is NOT to think of restaurant meals as a "treat". Think of them as just another meal, not an opportunity/temptation to blow it.

That said, I sometimes get pee'd off and feeling deprived in that situation, which leads to a treat meal, lol.

jigglefree
07-02-2010, 01:45 PM
This is a :flame: topic. I was reading all the posts and saw the maintainers holding a position that's a little different from the "in processers"!! So I figured since I have a very long journey ahead of me and I terribly want to get there, I will add my two cents too.

I started in Jan 2010 and on day three I was pressing my way through a full day of headaches because of my determination to get to my goal. I was eating 1200 calories a day from 4000. I was so committed that I had to leave town for a funeral and took my meals with me. I don't think the meal was about rewarding yourself as much as it is about the desire to experience the foods you used to eat. I count calories and nothing is off limits, except chips because I can't control myself when it comes to those things. But my husband knew I was serious when I started and he supports me. I agree you need to set some boundaries and share them with your bf so he can help you get to your goal. In order to be successful you must of necessity set boundaries and plan. If you are going to go out you need to know what you are eating before you get there. If there is no online information available on the restaurant you should not eat there especially this early in the game. That's a part of the planning exercise. I agree with the posters that say you don't want to totally deprive yourself but you also don't want to kill the process. If it was okay to go all like that and then you feel miserable after the fact...what's the treat in that? To me a treat is 100 calorie Klondike Bar. when I really want to have chocolate, its chocolate cheerios. Find a way to enjoy things you like without eating things that don't benefit you. YOU and ONLY you will determine how you come out. I love the maintainers because they have traveled the road we are on and they know. We like listening to success stories and how it happened. Listen to experience because it will truly help you.