General chatter - in need of guidance

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06-22-2010, 11:44 AM
I am looking for sound advice, or truly any advice about my current situation.

A little fiancÚ and I have been together for nearly 5 years, living together for 3 and engaged for a 2 months. We have been working at our jobs for 2 years...I am fairly happy most days other days I'm bored out of my mind because I don't have enough f work to do. He on the other hand hates his job. His boss has told him he has wanted to fire him for well over a year now, but can't because he is doing a great job so the town counsel won't let him. (basicsally my fiancÚ world somewhere that is non profit and his boss hates his programs and would rather spend the town money on his personal business).

Now last week his boss tried for 3 hours to convince the town counsel to fire my fiancÚ to no avail. The boss even pulled the plug on a program to try and make my fiancÚ look bad. That was the last straw, my fiancÚ wants to quit now. Understandably so.

Here's my issues: his job is a limited field so he can't just find another job in the area, we will have to move. I am ok with this as long as its not too far from both of our families (this is for our future children and us so we can visit often). My problem is I feel like I am letting everyone down in my work if I leave. my work involves other families etc...that I visit regularly. I have said to coworkers that I plan on being here and helping build the company but now we may be moving. I feel so guilty and awful. then I feel terrible because I know this job is killing my fiancÚ. I just don't know what to do...

Any advice, personal opinions, anything would be greatly appreciated. Thanks..sorry its so long

06-22-2010, 11:48 AM
Well, first - see if your fiance can get a job where you live now. The best time to find a job is when you HAVE a job. He may hate his current job, but he's still employed, earning a paycheck. You said his field is limited, sounds like he manages projects/programs. His field may be limited, but the role is not limited. See if he can match his qualifications to existing jobs.

I have moved 3 times for jobs. From NC to TX, from TX to WA and from WA to CA. It was fine every time. New places are exciting, it's exciting to explore a new place with your special someone, it's like an adventure for 2!

motivated chickie
06-22-2010, 12:14 PM
I work in the nonprofit field and I can empathize with the pain that your fiancee is feeling. The nonprofit world is very political and there can be a lot of nasty backbiting. Your fiancee is very smart to get out before his boss destroys his reputation.

It sounds like your partner did a marvelous job and I wish him well in finding good employment.

From reading your post, I hear that you feel guilty about leaving your job. You are not letting everybody down. You worked there for two years and gave them your best. I think sometimes we get this feeling that we are indispensable in our jobs, but really that's not true.

But they will miss you. And I think you can have lovely good byes with the families and your co-workers. Keep in touch with them if you'd like.

You are not letting anybody down. You are doing what you need for your family and your workplace will understand.

06-23-2010, 03:44 PM
Thank you both for your responses.

He is trying very hard to find any type of work currently. He hasn't quit his job, but he is truly miserable. Hopefully things will work out for the best!