20-Somethings - I need support badly OT

I found out tonight that my fiance and partner for the last 8 1/2 years is cheating on me.

He has had this women in our house.

He is camping with his brother right now (yes I know for sure). So we haven't actually spoken. I found a chat conversation between he and her on his computer with a lot of undeniable details.

I texted him about it. He says we'll talk tomorrow. I am done talking. There is no way he can talk his way out of this. I will never be able to trust him. I can't believe he would throw away 8 1/2 years just like that. If you don't want to be with me then just tell me ... don't do something like this. I despise liars and cheaters. And now him.

I have already started packing my things. I'm going to have to move back to my parents for now. I don't know how we're going to split things up. I've paid for something like furniture and appliances. I don't really have room for them and my parents and he doesn't have the money to pay for them out right.

I don't know what's going to happen. This is the hardest thing ever. :(

:hug:

Valeri, oh no! I'm very sad to hear the news. I know how it feels to be cheated on after a long relationship. I was with my ex for 7 years and we were engaged when I found out that he was cheating.

Unfortunately, I was one of those that didn't pack up and leave right away... hmm, now that I think about it maybe it was because he lived in my house!

In any event, hugs to you sweetie! I wish you the best in the situation and I hope that you can continue on your journey despite what may be happening.

Oh Valeri I am so sorry to hear that!:(

You have every right to feel angry and disappointed. I can't believe he did that to you! I am not sure if I can provide you with any comforting word right now but if you need to vent we are here to listen.

That's awful! Don't worry about furniture and appliances right now - you'll figure that out in good time. Take care of yourself. Stay strong.

I know I feel like I should not be thinking so much about all this 'stuff' but I just feel like I need to get out of here as soon as I can and leaving it for a certain amount of time I feel like it will be harder to arrange the details. I just want it to be over.

I haven't slept all night. I tried but couldn't.

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Valeri. No one deserves to be cheated on and I hope you'll be able to sort everything out. I think you're right for leaving, and you can worry about material things later (though I would worry about everything now as well so I don't blame you at all for just wanting to make a clean, but fair, break). :hug: Take care of yourself.

If I were you, I'd take a nice long shower (if you haven't already - I take a million showers when I don't know what to do). Breathe deeply. Make some tea. Sit and make a list of all your stuff. Figure out how much you can take with you and store right now; with those parameters figure out what things you absolutely have to take with you. Make a plan for everything else (for example: I will find an affordable storage locker by Wednesday, I will find people to help me move by Friday, by Sunday everything of mine will be out). Right now all of your stuff feels like a dead weight anchoring you to a very bad place, but it's just stuff. You'll get it moved, and even if you don't (but you will!) sacrificing some furniture is ultimately worth getting out of a toxic relationship. You have every right to feel the way you feel, and the situation you're in is hard. It's so hard, but you can do it, and you'll be so proud of yourself when you look back and know how strong you can be.

Try to find some calm in yourself, and focus on one thing at a time.

GoodShadow is right....it'll be hard, but stay calm and focused. I'm so sorry that this happened to you!!!

I'm SO sorry, hon! I hope us supporting you and offering our sympathy can help you in some small way! I think that you should just forget about all the crap and furniture. It's not important right now and you can figure it out later. YOU are the most important thing. Right now and always. You need to take care of yourself and just do what feels right to YOU. I think it's good that you are already packing your things. It's amazing how clearly you can think in such a difficult time. Just know that you have all of us for support if you need it, really.
:hug:

I'm sorry this happened to you, being cheated on is the worst feeling ever. You are doing the best thing by getting rid of him, I'm proud of you for being strong. This happened to me with my high school sweetheart that I was going to marry. He had been bringing me a single rose at work, which I thought was sweet. Turns out he was seeing a girl who worked across the street from me and taking one rose out of the bunch that he would give her and giving it to me. I signed up on a online social networking site he said he was not a member of, just to find him and see him and her openly talking about times they had been together on each others pages.

It's hard, but we all heal.

Just think of all the women here you have your back and support you! Get out, and get on with your life. If you linger then it will be harder.

Keep us updated.

I'm sorry you're hurting and I hope you are able to get through this with your head held high! Move on and move up! :hug:

Take care of yourself in this difficult time. Do the things you have always loved to do but have been set aside as the relationship responsibilities have increased.This is a time to add those back into your life. It will help you grow as an individual. I agree with what everyone else wrote. If you cannot afford storage for your stuff ask coworkers or friends if they have space until you can get everything figured out. Take a bubble bath with candles, music and some calming tea. Go for a nice walk to help destress once you get your important stuff moved. It will help clear your mind even more and give some time to relax. Oh go get a relaxation massage this week..

I'm so sorry for you. While I've never experienced this, I imagine it must be awful. I don't blame you either for dividing the stuff. Perhaps you can enlist a friend or family member to help you move, preferably when he's not there? I can't believe "we'll talk later" text message was the response. Hun, this is bad but atleast you found out now, rather than when you were a few years into the marriage with kids. Take care of yourself and do something especially for you.

:hug: I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Sounds like you are doing what's best for yourself in the situation. I know you're hurting...but good luck and hold your head up.

I'm so sorry :(

It seems like everything has already been said.... I don't know how you feel, but I know you must be hurting. We're all here for you. :hug:

Ouch! I've never been engaged, but I do know what it's like to be cheated on and it is definitely not a good feeling. But I agree with GoodShadow, sit down and make a plan and get the heck out of there! As far as support, look to your friends and family, thats what they are there for and of course, we are all here as well. But as unsure as it may seem now, everything happens for a reason and i'm sure you will find some else who's much better for you. Good luck and remind yourself that you are better than this and hes not worth your tears

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts. I am at my parents house now. Everything is moved except the big stuff. I am going to rent a truck to get my furniture and appliances and stuff and then going to need a storage facility.

We 'talked' when he got home. He didn't have too much to say I heard "I don't know" a lot. I told him exactly what I thought of him and I hope he feels horrible although I'm sure he doesn't. I still don't know if it's really settled in yet. I am going to be 26 in July and am now living back with my parents ... having no idea what it's like to be single in my 20's ... no idea if/who/what kind of guy is out there for me in the future. It's just all so unknown right now.

Im so sorry! :hug:

I wish I could say something and make it magically better but I know I cant. I had a similar situation but he didn't cheat on me but instead after 4 years just lost love for me and left me. I am also 26 and living back at home, but I can tell you I am now happier than I have ever been. Things work out I promise. I have a more supportive/loving bf now and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I am sorry Valeri. I am sure you are hurting now, but keep your chin up and know that you deserve someone better. I wish I could give you a hug in person! (((HUGS)))

You are getting a lot of advice commin your way. Take it, filter it, and do your best. :) My advice is to take this opportunity to start anew! Your weight loss, and new singledom are big changes. Your heart wont stop hurting soon, too many of us know that. But you come off as a worth while woman. I am willing to bet you will come out of this a better woman.

It's hard to loose your base. But - this will help you to find who YOU truly are without anyone else.

Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself

You've been handed a fresh start, and luckily you're not 40 :) It's time to start a new life, a better life, a stronger life. Plus you are on your weight loss journey, just imagine how strong and grounded you will be as time passes. It's going to be a rough journey and it will take time, but be patient, and enjoy the steps when you are ready. but until then - be angry - it's good for you I think :)

Argh.

I'm so sorry for you sweetie. :( :hug:

All I gotta say though is this: Don't put up with that, don't go back to that, and don't regret movin' on!

There is much better out there for you.... and until then? Enjoy being single! It has its perks! :)

Being single in your mid to later twenties is about confidence, beginning our REAL lives, our careers, meeting men who'll treat us with respect, meeting men who have already had plenty of time to be single and fool around, me who have more life goals planned.

I'm sending a huge hug your way. I am so sorry this has happenened to you. But the future will be fine, even if the present feels awful.

Each bad thing that happens in our lives opens the door to something wonderful. I'm a firm believer in this as it's never let me down.
I've had some nasty breakups, I've been cheated on and worse... but all of that lead me to my husband who treats me like gold. Can't regret the past when you're living a dream. :)
Like the most recent girls have posted, you now have an opportunity to become who you are meant to be. Don't worry about the future but embrace it as there's so much potential. Hang in there and good luck :) :hug:

I am so sorry :( :hug:

Val, 7 years ago I was in your same exact shoes and all I can say is my heart breaks for you because I can literally feel your pain. Chin up girl, and you don't have to think about guys just yet (although, they'll have you drooling over them soon enough). As for the furnature and appliances, why not just sell them, they will just be bad memories later on. And, you can always get new stuff...trust me...I'm an ancient 31 year old and I'm tired of the crappy furnature I bought when I was 23 thinking it was going to be a good investment.

You're so young! And you're really at a wonderful age to meet the right person. You have soooo much time to do so, too, but I have no doubt you aren't going to need it.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and your right to be loved exclusively. It's much better to be living back at home with parents who love you than to be living with someone who doesn't give you the love that you deserve.

I am very sorry! Many good pieces of advice, and may i add one more- don't forget to eat! I know it can be hard to take care of yourself physically during such an emotional time but try and eat something healthy to give yourself some physical energy to get through the day! All the best to you...

Yeah I am hoping he will just buy the stuff that is still there. Since he asked for my engagement ring back (A-HOLE) I told him to sell it and pay me for what's mine. I know I have no legal right to that ring but I think I deserve it after what he put me through ... it would be nice to have for a down payment for a place of my own or whatever else. I just can't believe after all these years and even acting like he loved me ... we set a wedding date in January ... how long was he going to let this go ya know? He claims he wasn't happy but I guess I wasn't good enough for an adult conversation and instead he decided to just move on without me and screw around.

Plus I had found e-mails from him to other girls before a long time ago and he always denied sending them ... and don't ask why I stuck around then. I never did believe him or feel I could trust him fully but I couldn't let go. The other emails were years ago ... if only I had listened to my gut then. He admitted now to sending those and said it was 'no big deal' because it didn't lead to anything ... well obviously you had the intent for it to lead to something. So maybe it's true he was unhappy but all those years ago I know he was and he was still a cheating ******* then.

It seems unfair ... I feel like he is already way passed our relationship and moved on to someone else.

Plus the fact that he is telling all his friends that it's not true! That I accused him of cheating but he didn't BS ... too bad I have proof AND he admitted it. I just don't get why he can't be a man and tell the world what he did. He put himself in this position so have the balls to own up to it. It just makes me so mad he will have people feeling sorry for him and the only one who should feel sorry for him is himself.

UUGGHH! :( I am just so angry.

He sounds like a pathelogical liar!

One thing I'd be very happy for, thank god you didn't marry him or have kids before finding out! He seems like the type that would have tried to get away with it as long as he could.

I was gonna marry my ex, and when he cheated he actually had the balls to say "You have to take me back, who's going to be the mother of my children? My dad cheated on my mom and she took him back"

I'm just glad I got out of that, I'm glad you got out of your relationship too.

Stay strong and keep us updated. We're all hear and listening for you.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Stay strong.

Want me to beat him up? :devil: (just kidding, that's illegal.) Seriously, though, you have a ton of people here who care about you.

Pffft, what a d-bag. You can do MUCH better. As much as it hurts, be thankful you found out now instead of down the road after you were married/had a family.

It's scary being single after being with someone for so long, but a new world and new opportunities await you. Men who respect you. Men who are willing to work at a relationship. Men who don't cheat. :hug:

DOUCHE!!

When my ex-bf cheated on me and I took it very hard (who wouldn't?) my coworker gave me the best advice that I still keep with me to this day... the best revenge you can get on your ex is to be happy and successful

You're right, it's not fair. I guess he's got man-child syndrome. In a way, I feel sorry for the kid, because he really is a kid and karma is a B***H! Both my ex and I got chunky when we were together but when we broke up, I lost 30lbs and him? I guess karma decided to give my 30lbs to him :)

I did the same as you, I moved back to my parents. It was awful. I didn't even have a room to myself. I slept on my sister's bedroom floor and occupied just a small corner in her closet for my clothes and such.

About him being untruthful to his friends, don't worry about that... the truth will come out later. My ex and I had mutual friends and all those mutual friends don't talk to him anymore. I recall having a convo with one of them about a year after it all happened, he said to me "I didn't know he cheated on you... but really, you should've seen that coming"

I am sorry this happened to you, but I am glad that you found out now, before the wedding and all that.

I was friends (he's my husband's college friend, and nice on a surface level) with a guy who cheated on his girl - we tried to warn her. When she called off the wedding (finally!) we all agreed that she was better off. While technically I'm still his friend - I respect HER for having a backbone and leaving with her dignity.

I respect you for sticking up for yourself. I am sorry this had to happen.

So sorry that you have to go through this! It is a very stressful, painful, confusing, heartbreaking time. Remember that the only thing you can control in this situation is Y-O-U! You can't control what he is doing, what he says (aka lies about), or his actions - past or present. Take it one day at a time, because no matter how much you worry or plan or think, the future only comes minute by minute. The good news is, you WILL get through this! And you will be BETTER for it! As they say, time really does heal. It's just the getting-through-it-at-the-moment part that's the problem.

Remember that you are better off without being in a damaging relationship. Take this time to focus on bettering yourself. Spend lots of times with family and friends. It's okay to have fun! Keep your mind off things, stay distracted for a while. Pour yourself into a new, fun project.

I wish there was more any of us could say or do, but unfortunately this is just one of those things where we tell you it will get better with time. We are all here for you, supporting you! Hang in there!!!

I just wanted to add that it sounds like you're being extremely STRONG and you have a lot of tact for getting yourself out of there so quickly, with such integrity.

I also wanted to add that you absolutely DO have a legal right to that ring - as it was gifted to you. You can absolutely pawn it and get that down payment for your own place. Don't split it with him!

What a D!nk. I'd keep the ring then sell it.. Its a gift right? hahaha. I'm mean.

Thank god you got out of that!!! If you knew from the start then its the best way out.. NOW you know 100% and there is no chance of you "taking him back" when he comes crawling.


Good on you Love, good on you! Dont worry :)


***EDIT***.. sell the ring.. and put it as a down payment! its yours! its a gift!

He already took the ring back so I don't have it. He claims since it symbolized a promise for a marriage that didn't take place then it's not mine any more .. WHAT THE F EVER. I know I do think I should have it but I was there alone and was pissed and threw it at him. He already took it to the jeweler he bought it from and supposedly has to wait until it sells so he can get the most money out of it ... otherwise I wouldn't even get what I want him to pay me for all my stuff.

I just really hope it sells and I can get paid for the things I left there other wise I'll have to pay for a moving truck to get it all and then pay to keep it in storage and I don't really want to do that. I want this done as quickly and easily as possible. As of right now he has 2 weeks other wise we will be getting my stuff the week after July 4th ... but I really hope I don't have to do that.

I just can't believe most of all that he was SUCH a jerk about everything ... I swear not even an ounce of remorse or sorrow. UGH ... I just need to move on but it's hard ... I think mostly because I don't know what went so wrong. What did I do to deserve this .. and I know the answer is nothing ... it's all his fault and he is just an a-hole and probably had no good reason ... but I just don't understand how things can go from normal to feeling like he totally hates me and has no feelings for me at all. I don't get it.

Why not just put the furniture on craigslist? That way he doesn't get to keep it, you don't have to get a storage place, and you get to keep the money :)

True... Selling it is always good, but sometimes you dont get the money back from it that you put in.. BUT best part? if he helped you pick the furnature and you dont like it? you dont gotta keep it ;)

Sh!tty! That he Sob already took it back.

Yah its definitely hard! a BF i had before i met my DH was like that, he didnt want to be together so he would say "i thought about cheating on you" just to hurt my feelings and he acted like nothing was wrong acted like it was an OK thing to say..

BUT just remember he is someone elses problem now! muwahah... If he was cheating too - im sure this is too bold and you DONT want to think about it.. but make sure to go get tested and a check up with the DR. You never know.

Definitely hard! *HUG* sometimes though, as much as it sucks it is needed( him out of your life) I just think of the possibilities!!! Think of what a GREAT guy you will meet in the future! or whatever who will be there because he WANTS to be.

VERY exciting on that front :) THAT and with you losing weight and what not your ex probably will try and crawl back but you will be too hot/fit/healthy and tell the bum off!

Yeah ... if he buys it I'll get more money out of him. The furniture is only a year old and you can still buy it at the store but now it's half the price I paid ... but I'm making him pay pretty much full price. HA.

:hug::hug: Ive been there. I know its extremely hard... **** after 3 years I'm still fragile on the subject. I love my boyfriend to death but there isn't a day that I don't question if he will leave me too, or the fact that maybe its just me, and maybe I'm the one with the issue. It takes a toll on your heart, but I can tell you It will get better. I cant sit here and tell you everything is peachy because I know its not. It hurts! I cried for months, but Im here and I'm happier then I have ever been with a bf who loves me and supports me. Things will get better just keep your head up. He doesnt deserve you and Im sure you will find someone who does. Plus you can rub it in his face how hot you have gotten.....

My ex just got married and he has gained 50+lbs so It totally made my day to see the wedding pics

Hang in there, girl! Keep reminding yourself that YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS! Some people are just jerk faces. Karma, baby. Karma! He'll get what's coming his way sooner or later! And by that time you will be in a much happier, healthier place in your life. You don't need his crap dragging you down.

This is so depressing. I did a relay for life walk tonight with the girls from work. Then we went out for a couple drinks after we left.
Then I had to come back to my parents house ... alone. I just feel so sad and lonely. I am crying writing this. I just don't understand why this happened. How could he do this. After all this time. What did I ever do to him to deserve this. I don't want to be alone. He's the only one I've been with for so long I don't even know how to go about meeting other people ... or who I want to meet ... or who I want to be ... or who I am without him. It's been us for so long. It's so heartbreaking. :(

Aww *hugs*

Things will get better, though it may not seem that way right now, they will! It's devestating when you leave a long relationship, you don't know how to act or be without them. What your feeling is normal, and it sucks.

One day, you will look back on this and say "I am so happy I do not have to deal with him anymore"

You will feel good again, it's just going to take time.

I don't even know how to go about meeting other people ... or who I want to meet ... or who I want to be ... or who I am without him. :(

Sweetheart this is exactly why you're so lucky that this happened now...

you need to be YOU and have your own life and be happy and content on your own...don't rely on another person to be half of you...be whole on your own first.

Lonely is normal...but surround yourself with people...do things you've never done before... get a hobby...the only way is up and you will be so much better for it.

I broke up with an ex after a long time... and it was my choice but I then became sad... but it was because I was bored and lonely and missed having someone to do stuff with...I didnt actually miss him.

You have an amazing life ahead of you...get out there and live it

Curious how your making out, hope everything is going ok!

Thanks. I'm doing alright. Trying to stay occupied and hang out with friends. At my parents still which is ok for now. Still don't know 100% whats going to happen with all my things ... hopefully he can come up with the money to buy them. I told him he has until next weekend. Keep your fingers crossed!

*CROSSED* well keep us updated!
I'm glad your doing alright and keeping busy!

Hang in there! You situation made me think of the Missy Higgins song Where I Stood. Music that spells out my current feelings really helps me, maybe it'll help you:

"Where I Stood"

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

I looked the song up on YouTube ... very nice. Making me cry though :lol: ... sigh.

Hang in there. I know it feels like you will never get over this or move on or move forward, but you will. The more time that passes, the better you will feel.

You didn't do anything to deserve this. You didn't deserve this. You deserve to be respected and loved. Some people are selfish, and make poor decisions with little regard to how it will affect others. You got stuck on the receiving end of one of these. But believe that the pain will pass. Each day will get easier. We're all here for you and believe in you. <3333

I can never listen to sad music when I'm sad over something. Even uplifting songs with a saddish tune make me more sad. I listen to upbeat stuff. When this one guy smooshed my heart, I listened to "Fall Back Down" by Rancid a lot. It really picked me up and helped me move on, and appreciate the friends that helped me get there. It's punk rock, I dunno if that's your cup of tea. But punk rock is undeniably upbeat, so maybe give it a listen. :)

I have to agree with Haley. Often times we think we're lonely (which you can be) but really we miss the HABIT of the relationship. For instance, you're checking your phone every 5 minutes for a text that you would've gotten. You aren't missing the text itself, you're just so used to checking your phone. That's just an example.

Take the time to go out and try new things. Maybe there is a gym nearby that offers classes? I've heard that's a great way to meet new people. Maybe you could check out meetup.org. I haven't ever gone to one of the events but I've heard of the site. Basically anything you could possibly be interested is on there and there are groups in your area that do meet ups.

Is there something you always wanted to do but never had the time/courage? Just go check it out. I had a friend that always wanted to do Tai Kwan Do and has recently started a fitness kickboxing class and loves it.

Things won't change for you over night. I got out of a very long, complicated relationship and had to take over a year to myself before I even started dating someone. You know what? That was one of the best investments I've ever made in myself.

Good luck and I hope you get the furniture thing resolved. :)

I agree with Feral, now's the time to start a new exciting chapter in your life!

(sorry didn't mean to make you cry :( :( )

I am currently in a very similar situation. I was supposed to get married May 1st after being with my fiance for 6 years. A MONTH before the wedding, he told me that he had been cheating on me for the last month with a coworker and that he had feelings for the girl. Stupid me even offered to still marry him and work through the problem but he refused to stop seeing her.

To make matters worse we had bought a house together a year ago, even though he now says he already felt us drifting apart at that point and just went along for the ride. I ended up moving out and into a condo that my parents own and we are in the process of dealing with the house. AND I am about to turn 27!! Totally know how you feel on the moving back home front...it sucks!! Let me tell you though, the moment that house is out of my name...I never plan on speaking to him again!

Just like your guy, he actually has the audacity to get mad at me and act like its my fault that all of this happened!! He keeps sending me these angry text messages about ridiculous crap.

Anyways I didn't mean to hijack your thread...I just wanted to let you know that I really do know what you are going through and maybe we could talk sometime....even if its just to vent!

p.s.- It has been about three months since everything went down and I am already getting to the point where I am so thankful that it ended and that I am on my own. You will make it through...it does get better...i swear!!

Thanks Bright. Good to know it wont take years to get over haha. I mean I feel like I do miss him. The old him. The 'him' who would never have done this, the one who was sweet and loved me and would do anything for me and never hurt me. I just have to remember that he isn't that person anymore. And that I am better off without him. Of course all the good memories make it hard but I just have to remind myself of all the bad things to keep me on track and realize that this is for the best and I will be way better off without him. I just wish I could stop wondering now what he's doing and who he is with and if he is having a good old time and not even thinking about me while I am thinking about him ... ugh.
I will get through it. It's getting easier. The sadness is fading and it turned to anger ... and I'm sure that will fade too.

I cant even imagine what you are going through sweetheart.
Big hugs to you.
Hope things are getting easier. xx

Sooo. I'm back here again. I talked to him tonight. He was a total a-hole. Basically telling me how happy he was ... trying to say it was my fault ... made me feel like total crap that he doesn't care one bit about me .... and that he is so freaking happy supposedly. And proud of what he did ... doesn't seem to care at all. So irritating. I feel like I have lost faith in people. And I know that's not right because look at all you who don't even really know me giving me support ... and all my friends and family ... yet I feel like people just SUCK ...
I wish I could just run away from everything and never look back.

Him acting like that is the only way to make himself feel better... to make himself not feel like a jerk... also to make you hate him a little more... he needs you to hate him so that you really want to leave him alone...so that you move on...

My best friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of six years...nothing bad happened she just decided it was over...he was heartbroken and sad...she never shed a tear and when he tried to talk to her she was mean to him... mean so that he would get the point and mean so that she woulnt let him back in... sometimes people need to be mean so that they can have their defences up and therefore dont let you in again.

You've done nothing wrong, youre amazing and will do soooo much better!

:hug::hug::hug:

all I can say is that I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I wish I could hug you for real, in a non-creppy kind of way. I want to say that imagine who is out there 'waiting' for you. He is sick his karma will come back to him and eat him. I can imagine him as an old man, he is at the end of his life and will be forced to look at himself as a human being, all the wrong he has done to you will eventually poisen him. He will have to pay his due in the end. Who would want to be with a dirt-bag-I mean the woman that he was with, they are dirtbags too. I pitty him because he must be going after people that are like him now, if he was any good for you he wouldn't have done that to you. He's a dick and I don't think you can call him a man becuase he is more like a cockrouch. You may have loved him at one point, I'm so sorry for that, because you must have been in love with the idea of the person you thought he was, what he did was pretty evil, and making you feel like he hates you is pretty nasty. Don't let him make you feel bad and again I'm so sorry for the pain you are induring. I hope you can trust people again, but while being careful. Once he is out of your life, you can pick your self up chin high and start your life over again, a new fresh birth with strength in your heart and a love for yourself and your brighter future. I hope this helps alittle, god bless you.



Here's a poem that I always think about in hard times or when ever I'm very scared in my life, like a helpless child, I want that hand to hold on to. Maybe you do to.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

:hug: I wish you much love to come into your life...joy and love.:)