Back in March I joined this site. I was over 200 pounds and frustrated over all the weight I gained, but I swear I was going to turn over a new leaf and start living healthy and lose the weight. I had a goal to be under 180 by July.
Well, all I can say is that I failed. Not even several days after beginning my 'diet' I was completely off of it. The sad truth is that I have gained over 25 pounds since late March and my weight has now ballooned into the 230's. I have a bmi of over 40 and I now weigh 100 pounds more than I did just a few years ago. Disgust & frustration seems to fuel my eating.
I am really scared that the path I am on is leading me to morbid obesity and I don't know how to get off the path. I know I need to eat healthy, it is just so difficult for me. I don't want to be fat, I want to be slim again. I need to lose the weight. It is just so easier said than done... But I want to give dieting another shot. This site is filled with so many success stories, I want to be a success too.
You say that "disgust and frustration" fuel your eating...and then your thread title is very sad, where you call yourself a failure and that you can't beat your cravings. That to me seems to be the first step: stop this self-destructive type of thinking. The best success I have had with weight-loss is when I tell myself that I am amazing and I don't deserve to fill my body with crap and it is only when I get self-defeating that I tend to fall back down into overeating.
I'm not going to lie, losing weight isn't easy. But it sure as heck is easier than being overweight! I might not be one to talk because I lost and then gained back, plus 5 pounds, but from my experience positivity is what helps in this journey. I would also recommend not setting goals with a deadline; it creates a sense of urgency that might hinder your weight loss(just my $0.02).
If you struggle with binging or compulsive overeating, I recommend heading over to the chicks in control section. It is a great place to keep that overeating monster down! Here some for you. You CAN do this! Don't let something silly as food get in the way! Hope I didn't come across as harsh...
What does an "on plan" day look like for you--give an example of a day where you would be 100% happy with what you are eating from a dieting point of view.
I ask, because when someone says they can't stick to a plan, I think the plan needs changing, not the person. Took me 20 years of beating myself up for not being stronger to learn that.
Have you tried any sort of journaling to figure out what puts you off plan? You can try to make a strategy for anything. Like, if you find out you are a boredom afternoon eater (like me) - you can plan to have healthy snacks in the afternoon, schedule a lot of meetings for work and drink a lot of herbal tea (which are 3 tricks which help me).
For me, there are three main areas to work on:
1. Stopping off plan eating from happening in the first place
My main strategies are:
* Planning healthy means and following my plan
* Making sure I eat enough so I don't get so hungry I make bad decisions
* Eating foods I like, so I am happy and satisfied
2. Stopping off plan eating once it starts, before it can get out of hand
* Staying accountable - I have to write down everything I eat, and I will think "do you want to write this down?"
* Telling myself "this is my hand and my mouth, I am in control"
* Forcing myself to brush my teeth - I hate eating with a minty mouth
* Throwing away whatever food is making me feel out of control
3. Moving on from an incident of off plan eating, and getting back on track as quickly as possible
* Remind myself, I don't have to be perfect, no one is 100% perfect
* Get right back on track at the NEXT MEAL
* Don't let an offplan treat become an offplan weekend or week, or year
Rockinrobin (I believe) is quite fond of saying this: You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be.
I think thats something you need to consider. This is all in your control. Get a notebook out, and as suggested above, write out your PERFECT eating and exercising day. If you are beginning, try to stick to a beginner level. Go for 1800 cals a day (or whatever carbs, or whatever plan...) and 30 minutes of walking at a brisk pace(or ten minutes on your eliptical machine, or a dozen laps in a pool)... and make it a priority to meet that goal for ONE DAY.
Don't worry about weeks and months into the future! All you have is now. Make it the best 'now' that you can!
you can be a success just try your best and the best thing to keep in mind is that this wont happen in a month, 2 or 3, it'll take hard work and dedication for almost a year (for most people), and then you have to make the right decisions to maintain your hard work, its not a walk in the park, but it is worth it! just make sure that if you do fall off the wagon, run after it and jump back on everytime! you'll still get further than the point where you fell off, even if you have a few scrathces and bruises
Nell-I'm sorry you are so frustrated. Not knowing your history, I can't really give advice on what you should do.
BUT, I do notice that this is only your second post on the site. There are no posting contests here, but I know that finding a support/accountability group here that I felt comfortable with has helped me immensely!!!! I post almost daily on the 40-Somethings weekly chat thread. Try to find an area where you feel comfortable and post! It is so encouraging to see others going through the same things as yourself. Even constructive criticism and honest evaluation are important and welcomed.
I'm right there with you. We just have to grab the hungry girl by the horns and throw her. lol. if youd like you can always pm me when you feel stressed out. Its very hard but not giving up is key.
You are not a failure. This happens to EVERYONE! Cravings are normal.
I am quite slim for my height (between 7 and 7.5 stone, and 5'2") and I crave things every day. I am a chocoholic - I think about it all the time and I have to really work at making sure I don't go overboard.
However, occasionally I don't have the energy or wherewithal to be strong about it and I end up eating a crap load of chocolate
Just yesterday in fact, I was fed up and frustrated about work stuff and throughout the day I ended up eating about 3 and a half chocolate bars, around 300 cals each, plus breakfast, lunch and dinner and some fruit in between. I wouldn't normally allow myself to eat that much chocolate, I try to have just one treat a day.
But... I'm not going to dwell on it now, because that was yesterday. I felt a bit bad about it at the end of the day, but I told myself, "It's okay. Maybe I needed that today. I don't do it every day and I won't do it tomorrow".
Today has been a better day eating wise - not as good as I usually am, but better than yesterday, and I haven't had chocolate. Tomorrow I will try to do even better. Tonight I'm going to do my Zumba to make up for it a little, which I happen to love (even though it's an effort to get started).
The key thing to do is NEVER WRIGHT YOURSELF OFF! Don't give up! This is a life long journey. Life is a long time! Are you going to have perfect healthy eating days every day from now on until you die? Of course not! You wouldn't be human. There are going to be days or even weeks where you can't get a hold on your eating, that's just something you'll have to accept. Providing you keep on keeping on - exercising, finding new motivation, taking little steps throughout each day to choose something good instead of eating something rubbish, you WILL get there in the end. So long as the majority of your diet is healthy and consistent.
I think it's good to have little goals along the way, but they shouldn't be the be all and end all. They are there to motivate you, don't make them so big that you feel like throwing the whole thing away when you don't make it.
People look at me and presume that because I am slim I can eat whatever I want and that food isn't important to me. I am ALWAYS thinking about my next meal!!! Even when I'm eating my breakfast I'm wondering how long it is 'till lunch I appreciate it's easier for me because when I have a bad eating day, I don't look in the mirror and instantly think "FAILURE". I imagine that if you already feel fat, it's harder to get the motivation because the end results seems too far away and you can't see the point. Everyone on this forum, especially in the Before and After section is living proof that if you don't give up, you will see the difference.
I hope no one thinks I mention being slim in a boastful way. I only mention it as a way of explaining that anyone can have overwhelming cravings, and that in itself doesn't make you a failure.
If food is a priority for you, that's a good thing because it means you care about it enough to make smart choices. Most of the time
Nell: Agreeing with most of the posts, I think you should definitely create a plan. If you have a hard time figuring out a plan that will work for you, feel free to PM me -- Even though I've only been going at this for a few months, I went into it armed with a 122-lb Mom/coach, and she had a few tricks up her sleeve from when SHE did the same thing when she was a little younger than me. If I were you I'd also increase the fiber a little. I know of a lot of delicious bars/cereals/drinks that have fiber in them.
Don't be so hard on yourself. That only makes things worse.
Start with the basics:
What does your current typical day of food intake and exercise look like right now?
What does your typical diet plan and exercise routine look like if you were dieting?
Making small, simple changes, one step at a time, can really make a difference. If you are a soda drinker, cutting out the soda for diet soda, water, other diet drink (unsweet tea, artificial sweetened tea, etc).
If you are a coffee with sugar and creamer drinker - switching to artificial sweetner and nonfat creamer
SOmething as simple as that can save someone anywhere from 150 - 300 or more calories a day. That is easily a loss of 1lb or more a month with no other changes.
At this point, just to see you show some progress with some simple changes might help improve your mood, your self image and will help with your motiviation to make more changes. Take it one step at a time.
Post back here with what your current eating is like and we can help you make adjustments and simple changes that will help you out. Post what your diet plan is, maybe it was too restrictive, which is why you fell off it so quickly. But post both, and let this group help you.
Gaining 25 pounds in a few months is not normal. That takes an enormous amount of extra calories to accomplish. I would see a doctor for an evaluation to see if there is a health problem going on like PCOS or hypothyroid.
If you get a clean bill of health, I'd suggest you get an evaluation for binge eating disorder. I have BED and understand the misery of the problem. But it's very treatable. I got treatment two years ago and it made the world of difference for me. I've lost over 40 pounds and I feel much happier in my life.
Good luck and keep posting. if you want to talk about BED more, feel free to PM me with questions.
Gaining 25 pounds in a few months is not normal. That takes an enormous amount of extra calories to accomplish. I would see a doctor for an evaluation to see if there is a health problem going on like PCOS or hypothyroid.
I gained a lot of weight in a short time too and it took me a while to get the PCOS/IR and hypothyroid dx.
Def look into it. Esp if you are insulin resistant -- it's like you can eat and eat but not feel satisfied because your body isn't using the food fuel efficiently.
I am obsessed with food. Everytime I start a diet I fail because I only focus seems to become what I cannot have.
This time for me is different; I found a plan that works for me. I have chocolate, I have ice cream, and I have sweet bread... I just have them in different ways. My chocolate comes from hot chocolate (fat free, sugar free) my ice cream is fat free and my sweet breads are low fat.
For the first time in my life I do not feel like I am dieting, I have changed my life and the way I live it.
What are you craving that you can’t give up? Find alternatives, they are out there.
When do you binge eat? For me it's emotional, I can sit watch a movie or tv show, start to cry and I want to eat. Now, I eat fat free popcorn or veggies.
You have to know what makes you tick. I would suggest a journalizing every day, every feeling, every thought you can, along with the food and drink you used to deal with it.
I also agree that you need to see a doctor; however, when I quit smoking I gained 75 lbs in 60 days. So I know sometimes it isn’t disease related.
I just got started in May, I am down 18.2 lbs in 5 weeks, and I still have a very long way to go. I wanted to share these things with you because I can honestly say, I have not gone to bed hungry or felt deprived at all.
I am a failure- I can't beat my cravings.
just try your best and the best thing to keep in mind is that this wont happen in a month, 2 or 3, it'll take hard work and dedication for almost a year (for most people), and then you have to make the right decisions to maintain your hard work, its not a walk in the park, but it is worth it! just make sure that if you do fall off the wagon, run after it and jump back on everytime! you'll still get further than the point where you fell off, even if you have a few scrathces and bruises 
