General chatter - Mean girls




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milliondollarbbw
06-10-2010, 12:55 AM
We all know the mean girls in high school----the ones who tease you about your clothes, or your rolls of fat, or who sit with the guys and tease them about whether they could like someone like you. Sigh.

Even though many of us are long out of high school, how many of you still have "mean girls" in your life?

There is a group of women I know that could be classified as "mean girls". I never did anything negative to them, and yet, they always treated me like the proverbial high school outcast.

Is it a coincidence that most of their conversations were about their weight, trying to be a size xs, versus a small,, and clothes? So of course, me and my lack of fashion and my super excess weight probably did not make me seem like I would easily fit it.

Though I tried very hard, they made it obvious that they did not want much to do with me, and really made it seem more like I just didn't belong around them. If there had been the huge lunch tables, they probably would have move their food trays if I sat next to them. Even now, I feel like part of my desire to be thinner, is so that when I am around that group, or women that behave as they do, I am given the respect as an adult woman that I deserve. I don't understand why people still equate fat with stupid. Sigh. :( It is hard interacting with this type, because it seems as if they are already on the side that because of my weight, whatever I come to them for is either silly, or stupid, or wrong, bothersome, etc.

How many of us face "mean girls" in our adult lives? How do you ignore when they are just being catty or make unnecessary food or fat comments?


jules1216
06-10-2010, 06:44 AM
there will always be mean people...not just girls...and the way I look at it...why would you even want to be friends with those who are that hateful.

As for comments...I have become a complete smart a$$ in my "old" age...I like when I get a blank stare back after I make a sarcastic comment back...mean girls were bullies in high school and just like then...when you don't let them get to you they will usually leave you alone and move on to the next victim.

ThicknPretty
06-10-2010, 08:33 AM
Oh yeah, mean girls are everywhere and honestly, I just feel sorry for them. I know exactly where that mean, bitter, catty attitude comes from: their own insecurity. I used to be a mean girl...I was very critical of other women and it was because I just generally felt inferior and felt the need to point out their weaknesses and faults to bring them "down" to my "level". It was sad. Now that I am developing some confidence (slowly), I no longer have that desire to rip other people apart...it doesn't do me any good.

No one has ever criticized me or made fun of me to my face (in a long time anyway), but I know that there are plenty of things said behind my back and the coolest part is...I really couldn't care less!


milliondollarbbw
06-10-2010, 12:14 PM
Sometimes it feels a bit like mean girls are rewarded in our society. They sometimes tend to not have much to offer, personality wise, but because of their emphasis on outer appearance, they end up getting the rock, expensive clothing, etc. :(

AnnieDrews
06-10-2010, 12:42 PM
Mean people aren't worth your time or energy.

astrophe
06-10-2010, 12:49 PM
No mean girls here any more. But I was surprised to find a mom clicque here and there when DD was a baby and I was trying to make new mom friends.

I thought people got over that crap in HS. I guess some don't. I just made friends with the ones I did like and ignore the clicques.

A.

Raichu
06-10-2010, 12:51 PM
Mean people are the worst! I feel like a lot of women never left high school in that regard. But hey -- we're better equipped now to handle it than we were in high school ;)

souvenirdarling
06-10-2010, 01:00 PM
Nope, I have none in my life. I have no time for that kind of childish behavior, and no time to waste feeling bad about people being mean to me.

This thread actually makes me smile. I can be straightorward and often blunt. I have expectations of myself, and hold those expectations to others. I don't believe in a one-way-compromise. That might make me a "mean girl" to more sensitive people, or people people with the kind of personality type that may get on my nerves (those ultra-passive complaining but never doing anything types! :)

bama girl
06-10-2010, 02:00 PM
Maybe I haven't yet reached adulthood because I am still in college, but there are DEFINITELY still "mean girls" in my life. There is one specific woman who is ALWAYS talking behind my back, and other women's as well, even though she is not any better than the rest of us. She is about a size 10, which is not very big, but she wears size 4 clothing, and that doesn't look good on anyone. Yet she still calls other people fat and ugly. I keep her at an arm's length, because, while I have to be civil to her in larger groups, I really don't care to spend time with her unless I have to.

I guess, really, when I identify people as "mean girls", I just avoid them and remember that they are just as insecure as I am, so their comments are null and void.

milliondollarbbw
06-10-2010, 02:27 PM
What is hard at times is when there are semi-nice girls who are friends with the mean girls, and so, you never really know what to think of the semi-nice ones. There is one that I know that I would like to be friends with, but she is very close with another woman who is very negative towards me, so I always feel like I can't be very open with the nicer woman.

junebug41
06-10-2010, 03:20 PM
I know a mean girl. She is rather plain, dresses like she's 20 years older than she is, so she doesn't fit into the typical mean girl stereotype.

She is SO mean, though. Everything that comes out of her mouth is mean. If she isn't talking smack about someone then she's not talking at all. It reminds me of a phase I went through in junior high where you gossiped in order to feel accepted.

What I have figured out is that she has such poor interpersonal skills that to behave like that is the only way she can relate to people.

Once I realized that it became so much easier to deal with her and not be bothered by the garbage that comes out of her mouth.

Wysteria
06-10-2010, 03:40 PM
LOADS of mean girls at my office, and hay guess what, they're all overweight and deeply insecure about themselves, and insanely jealous of me because since I started at my current job, I've lost most of the weight I was trying to lose.

There's two in particular that are especially mean to me. I just put it down to jealousy and general stupidity. Their entire lives boil down to taking the mick out of thin people and making generally rude comments about everyone. But I ignore them, because they're really not worth it. They need to get lives and realise there's more to existing than being cruel to people that have something they want - in this case, the 'thing they want' is to fit into a size 10 pair of jeans.

I think they're just bitter that I'm no longer their little fat friend. They were nice to me when I first started, lol. But as soon as I lost the weight, that was it, they started crash dieting and being cruel.

Pathetic, really, isn't it?

Ciao
06-12-2010, 01:15 AM
Because I am still in HS, I'm all the time surrounded
by girls who want to be accepted. I'm more of the
girl who KNOWS about things, but I'm not INVOLVED
in those things. I know what people say about each
other, and let me tell you, it can be down-right horrible.

For example.
My friend ALWAYS talks about this girl who is bigger.
She's always making fun of her clothes, hair, size,
anything! But yet, SHE is the one with the insecurities.
SHE was the one that cried to the counselor about
feeling big. SHE is the one that seems to have a problem
with everyone.

Truth is, there's always going to be gossip and talk.
You just have to roll with the punches and realize
who in your life is really worth being around. As for me,
this "friend" won't be in my life much longer. I'll slowly
drift away from her because I realize what kind of person
she is- and that's not the type of person I want to be
associated with.

Thighs Be Gone
06-12-2010, 01:36 AM
I have also dealt with "mean girls" recently. I am not in HS though--I am a grown woman with two small kids. The funny thing though is these two women were mean to me when I was my fattest. They tried all they could to make me feel uncomfortable but being who I am, I held my toungue and always reacted in a ladylike fashion.

Then, I began to lose weight and guess what, they just became meaner. To this day, I still have no idea what their problem with me is. I would love to know. Neither of them are anything to write home about or admire. They are plain janes in every respect I can see. Ah well. Go figure.

vesperpt
06-12-2010, 02:59 AM
I work at a small business, so we're all women and there is only a select few of us. But one of the ladies is SO MEAN! Its just so ridiculous how hurtful she can be.
I've been living in this new city for about a year and a half and still cant believe how many more mean people there are living here than my home province.

Ookpik
06-12-2010, 01:48 PM
Thighs Be Gone, the women may have been mean when you were at your heaviest because perhaps they believe the stereotype many people have against overweight people - stupid, lazy, etc. Now that you've started losing weight, perhaps they are jealous and feeling threatened. I was always the biggest person where I worked, and when I started losing weight, some people were mean to me as well -- they were beginning to see me as competition where they hadn't before. Of course I'm not sure if this is what those ladies are thinking, but that could be it. As far as looks go, I find some of the rudest comments I've had regarding my weight (and thus, looks) came from plain janes and average men. Funny, I find in my case, the better a person looks, the better they generally treat me - even when I was at my biggest, I found this to be the case. I've studied enough psych to know that this what people often believe - that better looking people are nicer - but I do find that to actually be the case.

milliondollarbbw
06-13-2010, 04:03 PM
Thighs Be Gone, the women may have been mean when you were at your heaviest because perhaps they believe the stereotype many people have against overweight people - stupid, lazy, etc. Now that you've started losing weight, perhaps they are jealous and feeling threatened. I was always the biggest person where I worked, and when I started losing weight, some people were mean to me as well -- they were beginning to see me as competition where they hadn't before. Of course I'm not sure if this is what those ladies are thinking, but that could be it. As far as looks go, I find some of the rudest comments I've had regarding my weight (and thus, looks) came from plain janes and average men. Funny, I find in my case, the better a person looks, the better they generally treat me - even when I was at my biggest, I found this to be the case. I've studied enough psych to know that this what people often believe - that better looking people are nicer - but I do find that to actually be the case.

I have found that people can be nice or mean regardless of their looks. the ones who have been more negative towards me would also be considered more attractive.

Evee
06-13-2010, 04:15 PM
I did, but you know lately I have been focusing so much on me and I have been eliminating the negative from my life. So I have really cut a lot of people that could be classified as mean out of my life!