Weight Loss Support - Oh God.. Gained so much over a few years.




RockingBird
06-08-2010, 02:01 PM
Alright, let me start by saying I came to America from Europe.
From a country where my parents did not own a car and we walked everywhere, and all we ate was home cooked meals. I WAS skinny there, or let's say normal. I haven't ever be seen or called fat.
I probably came to America weighing a 100-110 lbs.
That was about 4 years ago. *keep in mind I have been the same height of 5"4 since 5 years ago, so that has not changed*
My first 2 years here when I actually got old enough to start noticing guys and going out, and my body. I saw that I was getting a little big. I found my old jeans from my country and surprisingly... I could not fit into them. I quickly found a scale at a friend's house and I was... 135 lbs. That was 2 summers ago. At first I tried exercising and eating good, and I DID SEE RESULTS. But for some reason I just... stopped. And you see this repeating many other times.
Probably a year ago somebody told one of my friends "Why does she have a boyfriend if she is so fat?" which broke my heart. Again, I found a scale and I was 150. I tried exercising and eating good, saw results, and stopped. Next time I weighted myself, 155. The same thing happened, but this time I told myself at least I WILL NEVER let myself go over 155. Next time I weight myself, 160. That time I actually lost 10 lbs, got myself weights and a yoga mat... but then stopped trying ONCE AGAIN.

A few months ago I weighted myself again... I was at 169 lbs.
That was probably the worst moment of my life. I kept waiting for a new month to start so I can "start fresh"... Well let's just say that happened every month.

I wake up this morning and I actually felt good. I looked in the mirror and I thought maybe I had lost some, and maybe was back to 160 and that I'd start exercising now.
I am 175 lbs. Another embarrassing thing is my signature, and how the counter thing says 160 lbs...

I don't know why I slacked off so much. 4 years of me being on and off with my weight loss. Always me wanting to wait for the right moment. If I had started maybe 6 months ago even when I had planned, I bet you I would have been comfortable with how I look now.. but I am not. I had never kept up my exercise and diet for more than even 2 weeks. I'm very ashamed and embarrassed right now. I don't know what I'm looking for by making this thread, I guess somebody to give me a push, because it's the first time I've cried because of my weight. ):


nationalparker
06-08-2010, 02:24 PM
Look at it this way - you're ready to make a change and ready NOW, right? You're at a place where, when you set your mind to it and focus, you can make the changes you want to see happen! Don't worry about not starting six months ago ... the time is going to pass, so start now and in six months, you'll be so glad you did - you'll be celebrating the winter holidays and the New Year at or close to the weight you're aiming for!

Don't worry about looking back because we just beat ourselves up about it - I got into a rut of doing the same thing... "how did I get to 145, 141 was my cutoff... how did I get to 151? ACK - when did I get to 160? I will NEVER get higher than that! HEY - who tacked on another 13 pounds to that?" GOOD GRIEF! Now I'm finally (!!) on my slow way down and while I do think of what "was" ... I am looking forward to what's to come.

I grew up in Europe for seven years and with no tv, we were pretty active, walking all around and eating sensibly (though that was years ago!). Here, you almost have to seek out ways to be active, though it's worth it.

You CAN Do this - and don't wait for tomorrow morning ... or Monday, or July 1... you already have a good start by coming here and getting started today. Be proud of that!

RockingBird
06-08-2010, 02:35 PM
Thank you SO much!!
I never had someone supporting me during my tries, and hearing this from even one person motivates me so much!! :)


nationalparker
06-08-2010, 02:45 PM
I assume I'm quite a bit older than you :) but if you'd like a support buddy, just let me know - I'd be happy to. Sometimes just checking in with someone is helpful - to get things in perspective when we're worrying about this or that. And, I forgot to say in the earlier post, don't let ANYTHING that someone supposedly says about what YOU DESERVE in life, get you down - like the boyfriend comment. You were with someone who wanted to be with YOU! For someone to say that is pure jealousy and ignorance.

Right now I'm doing a self-started 40-day challenge to get myself to the start of July, then I'll start another one :) I have to have kind of short-term goals ... some are week-long, others longer. But I set that I wanted to walk 110 miles in that time, rather than a weight loss, because then if I don't meet the loss, I'll feel like a failure. But if I DO meet the 110-mile goal, then I know I've done what I could to help the weight loss along - ha!

MaddiesMom
06-08-2010, 02:52 PM
By coming here you are finding a great support group of people who can keep you on track and give you advice. I know exactly how you feel, I was 275 pounds and then got pregnant. I was mortified every time I had to get on that scale at the doctor's. I decided that I had enough and began to work out. I found this site and it helped a great deal.

The truth is, you CAN do this and you need to tell yourself you WILL do it this time - no matter what. We believe in you, now you have to believe in yourself! :)

RockingBird
06-08-2010, 03:12 PM
@@nationalparker; Haha, probably! I'm actually just turning 18. And I want to not keep going like this in my life. And thanks a lot! :) Yeah it's funny how little it takes of people to say something mean, but how deeply it hurts the person who heard it. I've remembered that for years, and that person probably doesn't even remember my name! And I'd also LOVE a support buddy! :D

And good luck on that! 110 miles, wow!!

@@MaddiesMom; I'm so glad! I've been lurking this place before, and now when I finally posted a honest post I'm so happy with the responses. :)
Yeah I feel like I've had enough with my laziness and slacking.

Thanks so much! :) I believe I can, just gotta work my butt offf.

nationalparker
06-08-2010, 03:20 PM
I remembered a "friend" said to me in high school, "No wonder you're so fat, all you eat are potatoes!" And the funny thing is, I wasn't fat then and I didn't just eat potatoes :). I was maybe 10 pounds heavier than she was! :) But I'm 44 (ACK!) and I STILL remember that cutting comment. GRR. (but I DO like potatoes...)

But how quickly we forget those lines that are positive, when someone tells us something nice. Wish those stayed with us just as long!

I KNOW you can do this! Just think of some mini-goals you'd like to reach and start working on No. 1!

souvenirdarling
06-08-2010, 03:59 PM
So you've already learned one thing, you have to KEEP DOING IT! :) I know you can!!!!