I have decided to just out myself once and for all!!!!! I have been on 3fc since, well <----------------------whatever my profile says, I know its been at least five years, and I'm still stuck at being overweight!!!! And "stuck" is exactly how I feel. I tell myself I'm smart enough to do it on my own, I KNOW what to do, I read well, I'm a nurse so I know how the body works, I know plenty about health, diet, nutrition, exercise, I motivate others. I host Biggest Loser contests at my work, I start new diets every couple weeks. But I can't seem to make it stick!
So I've humbled myself enough to out myself and ask for help.
Some background....I'm Michelle, 34, mom to Robert (10) and Rachel (6) married 12 years to Michael, my childhood sweetheart. I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict....which is a DIRECT correllation to my eating disease. I read the obsession thread and thought, oh believe me guys, I know OBSESSION. Even the word obsession is delicious on my tongue. I know about desperation, obsession, the longing, the need. (I'm sober 14 months now, by the grace of God and with the help of AA, and a wonderful support network and family/friends. But I digress)
I've learned that if a disease is eating you alive, if you tell on the disease, you begin to relieve yourself the obsession, the burdens. So I'm here, on my knees....asking for help....I don't have to do this alone (and neither do YOU, if you are reading this and can relate) I don't have all the answers. I need to be honest, openminded and willing to take suggestions.
I don't even know if this thread has a real purpose. Maybe it's an introduction, maybe its an opening for you to come in and "tell on" your disease, maybe its to offer me some advice, some support, some love.
I know that motivation wanes sometimes and commitment is permanent. I guess I'm feeling BOTH today but i know the days come that the motivation will waiver. Just like in sobriety, I only have today. I can't change yesterday, I can only live today so today doesn't become a regret of the future. One day at a time, one choice at a time. I only have right here, right now. Anyone with me?
Thanks for letting me sound off.