100 lb. Club - Skinny People Annoy Me




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toomuchmoxie
06-06-2010, 12:02 PM
I was trapped. It wasn't my fault. I blame the TOM.

But I was standing in a long grocery store line in front of two very skinny women, one of whom was *****ing about having to lose THREE POUNDS. One was complaining about how she had to take in her size 4 jeans.

After 10 minutes of this, I finally turned around, did a head to toe sweep of my fabulous size 20-22 body with my hand and said "For real? Want to trade?"

They finally shut up.

Also, one of them had Oreos in her little hand thing. She had been talking about how she just had to have them. I hated her a little more when I saw that.
:o


Eliana
06-06-2010, 12:07 PM
People need to be so careful about what they say in public and really beware of who is within hearing distance, for goodness sakes. I know weight loss is huge on every woman's mind, no matter her size, which is frankly quite sad. But it is just not ok to complain about weight in front of anyone larger than yourself, in my opinion.

I always have and always will hate it when some tinier than me uses the words "I am so fat". Do people really not see that by calling themselves "fat" they're calling anyone larger enormous?

mizb1978
06-06-2010, 12:07 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean. My sister, is like 110 dripping wet and was complaining she gained 5 lbs.

I know that they have problems too, but come on!

Side note grats on the ability to turn and say that! I wouldn't have had that courage!


RienQueNny
06-06-2010, 12:14 PM
Ugh!! That annoys me so. I work with many skinny chicks who are always "on a diet" and trying to lose weight because they "look like an oompa-loompa" in their size 4. As I sit next to this conversation my size 14 get smaller and smaller around what I see as my body becoming huge as the skinny girl thinks she's fat.

Congratulations on your reaction, seriously, that's not overreacting. Maybe that's just the slap in the face these 2 girls needed to start being more considerate of others and start appreciating their bodies. I never had the nerve to do that... although I've thought it so many times!

Mellington
06-06-2010, 12:15 PM
All People Annoy me good for you for saying something ... I would have also .. My moma has always said its going to be my mouth that gets me in trouble

girlonfire
06-06-2010, 03:23 PM
I've noticed that women tend to do that in order to fish for compliments. However, it is possible(however slight) that maybe she has finished a weight-loss journey and hasn't adjusted yet. Although the cynic in me believes that she really just wanted attention...

Onederchic
06-06-2010, 03:28 PM
:hug:

Elladorine
06-06-2010, 03:33 PM
Makes me think of a story I mentioned here not too long ago, about DB's cousin. We were talking about healthy eating and she mentioned how hard it is to lose weight; she's down five pounds since last summer but still has a whole five pounds to lose and feels "stuck." I congratulated her on her loss and also sympathized, saying I know how hard it is to be stuck at the mid-point. And when I mentioned I'd lost 35 pounds this summer (and before I had to a chance to bring up that I've been stuck at my own halfway point at around 100 pounds lost) she basically snapped at me, informing me how much harder it is for someone her size to lose weight.

Um, I guess that's debatable if you're talking pound-per-pound, but when you're already at a healthy weight, why are you comparing your ten vanity pounds to the two hundred a super morbidly obese person has spent years struggling to shed?

Glory87
06-06-2010, 04:00 PM
I am trying to lose 5lbs right now. I will ***** about it wherever I want to. I would have been irritated if someone had interjected themselves into my private conversation.

rockinrobin
06-06-2010, 04:10 PM
When I was super morbidly obese I never understood how slim people could possibly complain about needing to lose 5 lbs.

UNTIL I became a slim person and put on 5 lbs. When you are that small, 5 lbs, makes a HUGE difference. In how your clothing fits and in how you feel. When I was large 5 lb swings were not noticeable. Now - they're noticeable and they are what is annoying to me - not people. Well at least not most people. ;)

Oh and I've complained about not being able to find clothing that is small enough for me and that most things need to be taken - it IS annoying. Granted it's not as annoying as being able to only shop in 3 stores, but it IS genuinely annoying.

That being said, I don't do my *complaining* in earshot of others. Mostly just to my kids and here at 3FC.

I do think we have to watch what we say - even here at 3FC.

Onederchic
06-06-2010, 04:15 PM
When I was super morbidly obese I never understood how slim people could possibly complain about needing to lose 5 lbs.

UNTIL I became a slim person and put on 5 lbs. When you are that small, 5 lbs, makes a HUGE difference. In how your clothing fits and in how you feel. When I was large 5 lb swings were not noticeable. Now - they're noticeable and they are what is annoying to me - not people. Well at least not most people. ;)

Oh and I've complained about not being able to find clothing that is small enough for me and that most things need to be taken - it IS annoying. Granted it's not as annoying as being able to only shop in 3 stores, but it IS genuinely annoying.

That being said, I don't do my *complaining* in earshot of others. Mostly just to my kids and here at 3FC.

I do think we have to watch what we say - even here at 3FC.


Yes, I agree. I mentioned this before, sometimes people are just wanting some support and understanding and if we can't at the least give them that when most of us have been in the same place they may be then... well, it's just my opinion anyway.

Sameen
06-06-2010, 04:29 PM
i can completely understand when my skinny friends keep on saying how fat they have become in their size 6's or how they need to loose weight... i actually feel bad the mostt when i go out with them and i only eat half my food and i offer it to them and they say.. why are you trying to get us fat.... thats the worst thing they can do... i know they dont mean it but sometimes it just plain hurts...

good going toomuchmoxie!!!!! loved your reply

EveLHaelf
06-06-2010, 04:52 PM
:rofl: that is so hilarious that you actually said that to those skinny women! That is something I would love to say, but would be too chicken to.

I don't think that when another woman says she is fat, that she is intending it to be an insult to someone who is larger than her. Most people are just so absorbed with their own issues that they don't even realize that there may be someone who is heavier right next to them wishing they were there size. I remember when I was in HS I thought I was so fat and I would call myself fat all the time, I look back at those pictures and think "DAMN I would kill to be that size again!" It's really just all about self confidence. I used to think that losing all the extra weight I had to lose would just magically make me more confident in myself and I would forget about the years of being picked on and the years of hiding from the mirrors.

Everyone has their own personal battles, gripes, complaints etc. With the media glorifying stick thin and airbrushed celebrities women everywhere have insecurities about themselves when they look in the mirror and don't see the airbrushed perfection that is shoved down all our throats. And just like those women have the right to publicly complain about their issues, the op had every right to say what she said.

Yes even here at 3fc we need to be sensitive about others' feelings and what not, but a girl needs to have a place to rant. Just as I'm sure those women weren't meaning to offend the op by complaining about their issues, I'm sure the op meant no offense by her post. We all have those moments when we just need to get something off our chests and we shouldn't be afraid of letting it out. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. You can disagree with others' opinions but it's unfair to criticize someone else for expressing theirs.

mthrgoos68
06-06-2010, 04:56 PM
LOL! You are my new hero! Good for you for speaking up, rather than holding in what you were thinking and eating to cover up your irritation. IMO, if it's a private conversation, they shouldn't be having it in a public place.

caliyah
06-06-2010, 05:13 PM
I have had some people tell me I'm crazy whenever I mention i'm trying to lose weight because they view me as skinny. I'm not trying to put anyone down when I talk about my journey to lose weight. Sometimes people don't know how far you've come or what you've been through. Also usually when I see my skinny friends talk about losing weight I don't assume they are trying to insult me. But I do realize that our society puts the size zero on a pedestal and most women who are above a size zero see themselves as fat. My cousin is a size zero -- she isn't anorexic but when we go shopping people are always complimenting her and telling her she should model. So really I don't think we should assume.

time2lose
06-06-2010, 05:25 PM
I do understand why hearing that conversation annoyed you but at least the conversation was taking place between two people who sound like they were close in size. They were able to relate to each other because they are in the same place. It definitely has bothered me when a size 2 (or 3 or 4 or ....) has complained to me about needing to lose weight. I think it is insensitive. It is like someone with a large house complaining to a homeless person that their house isn't big enough.

kaplods
06-06-2010, 06:15 PM
I can see both sides of this.

I've also always been annoyed when I heard smaller people (even only slightly smaller) people complain about weight loss - but I felt comfortable complaining about weight loss to people my size and larger.

It was only when someone much larger than I confronted me on it, that I realized I had a double standard for myself. When I had "only" 150 to 200 lbs to lose, I didn't see myself as any different from the person with 300 lbs to lose (though they may see it very differently).

So what exactly is the protocol in this situation? Who gets to complain to whom (and within earshot of whom else)? How close in weight do people have to be, and how much do they have to protect others from their conversations?

I don't think there are really hard limits. The annoyance is legitimate (who hasn't thought "you think you've got problems," when someone gripes about problems that seem inconsequential next to your own), but their feelings are legitimate too.

Sometimes I'm still annoyed, but sometimes I feel very sorry for the person. When someone has a body I'd kill for, and I hear them berating themselves and expressing less confidence and self-esteem than I have, I find that pitiable and just so sad and unnecessary. How sad to be thin and gorgeous, and still feel ugly and fat. In some ways I'd much rather have my life than theirs. I like who I am, and don't even mind that much how I look. I think when I dress up, I actually look pretty nice (though when hubby calls me his hotty-wife, especially in front of his friends, I can't help but roll my eyes - yet it does make me feel like the hotty-wife).

Everyone deals with their own personal reality. I have a friend who weighs about 100 lbs less than I do (and she's an inch taller, and she runs and is a kickboxer). Because she's so athletic, she's not nearly as overweight as she thinks she is. Yes, she could lose some weight, but she sees herself as much fatter than she actually is. I don't think she's fishing for compliments - she really sees herself far differently than the rest of the world does.

LoveLoveLove
06-06-2010, 06:23 PM
haha! I think that's funny what you said! That's awesome :)
I completely understand where you're coming from!

toomuchmoxie
06-06-2010, 06:36 PM
These women were not having a private conversation. They were talking LOUDLY.
And really, if I lose 100 pounds, I promise to remember where I've been and not ***** about it, in a loud voice, in front of an actual fat person.
I would hope that I'd be kinder and a little more sensitive than those folks were today.
It's kind of weird that people who have lost weight would still ***** about those last five pounds - and say they'd had no problem doing that in front of someone large. That just kind of seems.. well, low.

MissKelly
06-06-2010, 06:37 PM
I try my hardest to not assume where people have been, where they come from, what their mental state is, yada yada. Although I understand the annoyance felt, there is always someone in the crowd who's going to be vocal & complain about being too fat, too skinny, too broke, too unlucky, too ugly, too short, too tall, too big of a nose, too small/big of breasts...& the list goes on. It's up to us to exercise tolerance (and remember that not everyone's bulb shines brightly).

Everyone has their issues and everyone has a story to tell. If it were me in line & I heard a size 4 complaining...I would say nothing. For all I know, the girl could've once been a size 00, had a long history of anorexia & size 4 is out of her "comfort zone." She could in fact be trying to get her own life & image of herself straight. Just like we are here.

Doesn't matter if her "private convo" was in public, it's up to the one not in the convo to not interlope as opposed to as if something harmful to the public or a specific person was discussed in the convo (terrorist acts, etc), no harm to a child, no confession of a murder or crime, etc. It's all small stuff not even worth the negative energy outside of that.

Personally, if I were you, instead of gloating about silencing them up, I would feel lucky that they had some class to say nothing back in retaliation that would've hit back where it hurt. They could have. But that's just me......

TJFitnessDiva
06-06-2010, 06:40 PM
I just don't get why you'd say something to them.....they weren't comparing themselves to you & were talking to each other.

I've regained 10lbs & I don't complain about it on here since it doesn't feel right but I will talk about it with my best friend....a lot of our weight conversations happen at the grocery store for some reason lol and if some turned around to b*tch me out I would probably jack the girl up!

eclipse
06-06-2010, 06:57 PM
I dunno, I think you were pretty rude. You weren't very kind or sensitive today, the very things that you wish they were.

grrrkgrrrl
06-06-2010, 08:00 PM
heard of "freedom of speech"?

they had every right to talk between them no matter where you were standing in the room/till/world.

mthrgoos68
06-06-2010, 08:17 PM
And by the same token, she had every right to comment back to them. You can't expect privacy in a public place.

grrrkgrrrl
06-06-2010, 08:22 PM
of course. thus giving them the right to reply back to her. they were kind enough not to. i would've, personally.

Heather
06-06-2010, 08:52 PM
Well, there have certainly been a number of interesting issues raised in this thread, but I'm not sure that we're moving in a productive direction. So, I'm going to go ahead and close the thread.