100 lb. Club - How Can I Do This!!!!
06-04-2010, 08:35 PM
I need to vent and just so darn frustrated with my efforts on this. I am the only one that is heavy in my household. My mom is so ahame of my eating, she is one tough food police every time I eat. or binged on food, she laughs and tell me to control myself..like I don't know. I do my best on eating healthy, have healthy foods in the fridge.. My 2 sisters understands and support me...but my mom watches me eat and feel so ashame. I love my mom to death and I know she is helping me, but being a 24 hour food police is not what I want. I must control my way, with some kind, compassion support.
This is my everyday in life struggle...and am just losing hope and have no real life support . I am losing hope and just say **** with it.. I see junk foods here, which my aging mom wants to gain...and just don't understand my eating efforts . I just don't know what to do. I might die from cancer, obesity.or my mental health. I check the scale in my dreams that am thin overnight and that is a false belief.
I don't know how others do it...and I don't have kids. I am just sad this evening,alone and sick and tired on fighting..I struggle on this since my teens years and now enter in the 40s...heavy and unhappy.
Thank you for letting me vent...
06-04-2010, 08:39 PM
Don't lose hope - we're all going through this, too!
I'm sorry you are feeling sad and upset but that is just tonight. Get up and do something positive for yourself, even something small. I think posting here was a positive thing!
06-04-2010, 08:41 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this right now and that your mother is so unsupportive. Look at your signature, you have already lost 27 lbs. That is an AMAZING accomplishment. You CAN do this. Maybe you can try to go for a walk or something to leave when your mother is nagging?
06-04-2010, 08:43 PM
I am feeling like you tonight. I am feeling down. I feel like "how will I ever do this? how will i ever lose 200 pounds? Heck, how will I lose 50????!!"
I just brushed my teeth real good (floss, mouthwash,etc) and I am going to do aobut 20 sit ups and then relax rest of the night... oh and drink about 40 oz of water. Tomorrow I will wake up not bloated darn it!
06-04-2010, 09:20 PM
Sorry you are feeling this way. I am sort of in the same situation. I live with my grandmother to take care of her full time. She eats everything under the sun. Cakes, pies, cookies - and weighs 109 lbs. I have to buy all this stuff for her. I used to say screw it and eat. But being 281 pounds, unhappy, unmarried and approaching 30, I figured I had to get my s**t together.
Tell your mother she is not helping, but making it worse. She may get mad at you for a little while, but it might get her to stop. Let her know what you are feeling. Take back a little control.
As for me, I am about 35 pounds lighter (still have a long way to go) and don't have to eat everything that is around the house. It may taste good and make you feel better now, but it will feel WAY better to be thinner. And get out of the house when you feel depressed. Go anywhere. I used to drive around until I felt better. Take a walk. Just get out of the situation or environment that is making you feel depressed, think about how you want to resolve it, go back and do it. Even if it means telling your family something they may not want to hear. You lost 27 pounds on your own even with all that opposition and depression, just think of what you can do with out it.
06-04-2010, 09:31 PM
Your post touched me so much. My mother told me her parents said she was a great mom- except for me. I was her failure because I was fat. I had always been fat. Why she told me that, I don't know. It kind of killed me a little.
I'm almost 40. At some point, you have to do it for you. And the more you say no to other people because it's right for YOU, you get a little stronger. People are you used to being a certain way. You've always been the fat girl in the family. Me too.
People don't like when you change. When you say no. I'd lost almost 100 pounds and my mom and my sister had a really hard time of it. They couldn't say anything nice about it. They kind of like it when I'm single too. I gained 50 pounds back, and I'm fighting the fight again. AGAIN.
Believe me, I have hopeless times. I spent 90 percent of my time alone. It's really hard. So I give myself an hour to turn off all the lights and the TV and whatever, and then I cry like crazy. But then.. in the dark, I turn on the radio and I dance. No one can see me and no one can mock me, and in my head, I'm frigging Halle Berry.
And then I get up and move on.
I hope you find a way to get up and move on. Because seriously, no one is going to do it but you.
And hey, you can always touch base here. Clearly, we're right there with you.
06-04-2010, 09:47 PM
I'm not sure what your comment that you don't have kids really means, so I may be misinterpreting you. If you are thinking that the people who have kids have more of a motivation, I suppose that's true in a way. But I can tell you that even as a single mom with no other parent in the picture, loving my son and wanting to be healthy for him wasn't enough. It wasn't until I got a little bit selfish and decided to do this for ME that it all really clicked.
It has to be for YOU. Not for your mom and not to spite her either. But because you realize that you are worth it. You have to decide that you deserve to live a long, healthy, active life where your weight and your body and your health don't hold you back from anything you want to do.
I know you deserve that, so even if you don't believe it, try going on the trust that all of us posting here know that you do, and once you really get going, you are going to know it too.
06-04-2010, 09:55 PM
Please don't give up. Look at the weight that you've already lost. That's brillant.
You can do this. :hug:
Don't let family members or people mess with your mindset to get this weight off. Just stick to a diet plan and you will get it off. Just remember that it's going to take some time, but be strong and stay busy and you will come out smelling like roses and looking totally awesome. :belly:
06-04-2010, 10:10 PM
You can do it Lillian! I sent you a pm message yesterday. Come join us on your team on the biggest loser forum. You will get some great support there. You are a strong woman, and you can achieve anything you want to. I know all about the 24 hour food police. At different points in my younger life I had that a lot from different people. Which is why I became a closet eater (eating when no one was around, or eating at night when everyone was sleeping). It still is a struggle for me today but I deal with it. I've lost 100lbs already! I know you can do it too!
06-04-2010, 10:36 PM
PM - I'm thinking she means she doesn't have any kids to take care of, so she has no commitment to them or can't use them as an excuse. That's how I took it at least :)
06-04-2010, 10:55 PM
Thank you all for the kind words..Its the heat and with the stress/boredom, kinda taken a toll on me. Did not did my reg walk today due of the humidty and gotten alittle side track. been drinking water and just took my mental health meds and will retire for the night soon. I am grateful for all of your support..again, Thank you.:hug: