Hi, everyone! Im considering weight loss surgey (rny). I've done all my pre-op stuff except for my letter of medical clearance. My last PCP completely freaked out when I mentioned weight loss surgery to him. He was really rude and I told him that I didnt want to struggle anymore. He told me he didnt think I had struggled enough. Needless to say, I walked out of there in tears and never looked back. I now have a new PCP and I like her but she said to me in our last visit that she thought weight loss surgery was the "easy way out". She told me I was young and she felt I should take more time to think about it. Well, I have another appt. with her in two weeks and I really need some advice on how to approach her "easy way out" comment. She is willing to write the letter but under her "conditions'. Please help me out guys, I could really use the encouragment and advise on how to handle my doctor. Thanks!
so, my dear - how old ARE you? And what does your weight loss history look like? which surgery do you want and why? these are just a few of the factors that go into the decision - both yours AND your doc's - to have the surgery.
you say you've done all your pre-op stuff. does that mean you've seen a surgeon and they've been helping you? if the answer is YES, then perhaps the surgeon could help you find a more supportive PCP. OTOH, ya gotta be sure that you can answer ANY AND ALL Qs that the PCP can toss at you - about your diet history, ability to stick to a plan, how much you're suffering because of your weight, and so on.
so, if you can tell us a few more details, i think we can help you develop a strategy.
bottom line - make sure you're making the right choice FOR YOU, and then once you've made that decision, get your little ducks in a row so that you can make it happen. it's not always easy some folks around here had to work for more than a year to get approval. but don't give up - if you know that it's the right choice for you.
oh, and BTW, for my job, i had the opportunity to speak with a major expert in diabetes at Hopkins. when she said that she didn't believe in WLS, i almost went through the phone after her!!! but i held my tongue. thank goodness!
I was about your height/weight when I got a vsg, but because your BMI is lower then 40 it isn't always easy. I think we can help you, but not without more information, also check the obesityhelp forums and check out all the different surgeries, especially if you are young.
Thanks for the advice, Both of my parents had surgery about 6 yrs ago. They were morbidly obese. When they had surgery I got serious about my health and ate differently and worked out with them. While they have been able to maintain, I have fluctuated (I've always been over weight, even as a child). I started weight watchers at about 13 and then transitioned into just diet control and exercise but of course fell of the wagon and went back to old ways. I will be turning 20 soon and after the constant back and forth over the past 5 years I just feel like I am fighting something that is biological( a lot of doctors dont agree with that by the way). I have a surgeon that is willing to operate but I have to prove that I will be compliant after surgery. I have pretty good insurance and my surgeon is pretty sure that the rny will be approved but def. not the vsg( my first option). I just feel like I have a opportunity to make a life altering change right now that could reverse the type of lifestyle I could possibly live. I have both of my parents support and I understand that the GB is a tool to healthy living and that there is a lot more work after surgery, especially with making over your mind when it comes to your relationship with food. My biggest dilemma is getting my pcp to agree with me. You know Ive realized that a lot of people who are opposed to the surgery have never had to struggle with their weight (meaning having to lose 50 or more lbs).
I'm gonna be straight with you. at 19, you are definitely on that edge between teenager-ness and adult-ness. most surgeries are NOT approved for teenagers [and there's a lot of debate about that]. but there are several major clinical trials going on right now that are looking at the lapband for teenagers.
at 19, you are legally an adult, but i think the docs are looking at you as still being a teenager - and that's probably the major issue. and most teens are not necessarily the most responsible folks. not saying this applies to you - that's a Q you'll have to answer for yourself.
but perhaps this is the point that all the docs want to be sure of: at 19, are you truly mature enough to assume ALL the responsibility that having GBP requires? if you can convince them of that, then they'll probably be behind you.
for you, actions speak louder than words here. how can you document that you've stuck to something over years?
and BTW, we've ALL had to prove it to get our surgeries. but since we are all older, we had more damage to go along with it [diabetes, high blood pressure, breathing problems, arthritis, and so on].
Thank you, LisaMarie. the bottom line message is that we have been through the 'old fashioned way' multiple times, and we know the drill. better than most people do.
Surgery should be a last resort for medical reasons. What medical issues are you having? You didn't mention it.
I believe it is sometimes a good choice also to PREVENT medical issues due to morbid obesity. Everyone's situation is different. I would have much preferred to have lost the weight prior to having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 25. If only I knew then what I know now...
I believe it is sometimes a good choice also to PREVENT medical issues due to morbid obesity. Everyone's situation is different. I would have much preferred to have lost the weight prior to having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 25. If only I knew then what I know now...
I totally agree with you, I feel like why let myself get to that point when I have an opportunity to do something about it now? I have a appt. with my surgeon in a couple of days so I should have more to talk about and I will keep everyone updated on my progress. Thanks so much for everyone's advice.
Last edited by tonewbeginnings; 06-01-2010 at 01:29 PM.
Hi Quillie, how did you go about being approved for vsg or did you do self-pay, I wanted to know because our height and weight was similar and I would be interested in what steps you took?
I had my appt. with my surgeon (who by the way I love!). She is so supportive and nice but still is not afraid to give it to you raw, the way you need to hear it. We discussed a lot of things that made me comfortable with my decision to go with WLS. Although I'm comfortable with my decision, there is still the possibility that the insurance company will not cover me because I dont have many comorbidities. I really need my pcp's support to help with insurance purposes. I have an appt. with my pcp in the upcoming week, we'll see what happens, hopefully I can walk out with a letter.
Either way you go, with or without the surgery, it is a life long commitment to change not only what you have been doing to put you in this state of obesity but to change who you are and how you treat food.
I found the following post on this forum once before and had it saved. I am sure we all relate to it some way or another.
Dear Food,
I love you so intensely, it hurts me to be away from you. You’ve been with me through all of my good and bad times. You’re the longest relationship I’ve had. I depend on you to help me up when I fall. Our intimate nights alone when no one else is around are so wonderful. It’s a secret love affair that gives me more satisfaction than I can ever remember. You are without question, my addiction. Even when there are times that I feel frustrated at the things you’ve done to me, I always run right back to you. My safety blanket, my rock, my ever loving and understanding companion. You are here for me when everyone else fails to love me in a way I need or want. I couldn’t possibly ever live my life without you, a few days without you and I would perish. Even just a day without you I would get lonely & weak. I hate that I feel this way about you. It makes me so angry that I can’t just walk away and never turn back. You’ve got me so entangled in this dysfunctional relationship. How could you do this to me ? You’re supposed to love me and maybe you do, but my love for you is slowly killing me. I can’t live without you but I can’t live loving you the way I do either. I know you’ve supported me, I know you’ve always been there when I needed you. I know sometimes you were the only one around. How can I possibly turn my back on you now. Somehow I have to find the strength. I know you want me to explain myself. It’s just so difficult to say these words when I know after they are said I have to walk away. With you’re support you’ve also brought me shame. You’ve brought sadness and hurt into my life. You’ve made me feel so down about who I am and what I look like. It’s gotten so bad over the past few years that I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without thinking I’m disgusting. I remember I used to look in mirrors passing by, now I keep my head down. If I do happen to catch a glimpse, I run to you for comfort because I hate myself and you do what you do best. Honestly, your best is hurting me and I can’t take it anymore. It’s finally at the point that my disgust with myself is way beyond the feeling I get when I’m around you. We’ve been down this road before so many times. You comfort me when I feel down, but then after the comforting is over I feel even worse. How is it that I let myself be satisfied with just a few mins of comfort when I deserve so much more ? I deserve to feel good about myself. I deserve everything I’ve always looked for in you but never found. I deserve the comfort without the guilt. You give me so much guilt. You provide so much negativity in my life that I can’t see clearly at times. When I get comfort elsewhere it never feels as good and at the same time never hurts at much. How messed up is that ? I still, no matter how hard I try, can’t understand how you make me feel so amazing and then with the blink of an eye you turn on me and make me feel terrible. I’m done, I can’t do this tug of war anymore with you. I’m so tired of all the anger & pain. I’m done shedding all these tears over how you make me feel. I’m so confused and how you do the things you do, you’re ruthless. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but it’s for my own good. All these years I spent looking to you for things you couldn’t give me has done awful things to my mental and physical health. I must be strong. I know that no matter how much I beg you, you’ll never leave my side. You’ll be everywhere I am and there is not a single thing I can do about that. My only choice is to co-exist and to be civil. Since I know that you’ll always be there watching and waiting for me to have a weak moment, I’ll have to be stronger than I’ve been before. It’s ok, you stay there & watch me. I’ll forget you, I’ll forget those times you were there for me, I’ll forget those times you made me laugh, I’ll forget every fake happy memory I had with you. What I won’t forget is how awful you have made me feel every time I thought I could let you in. Now I know, as long as I’m strong, you can be in my life, but not the way you were before. It can never be that way again. You destroy to much of me when I bring you close. I have no choice but to accept you’ll always be waiting for me to fall again but no matter how bad I might feel like I want you, I’m done. I will never fall victim to your powerful, deceitful ways again. I love you & I probably always will but it’s over.
Okay as for my personal experience with WLS.
My lowest weight to memory is 180. I was in 5th grade, so I guess I was about 9 or 10 years old. I still to this day do not know what 179 looks like on a scale.
My average weight for most of my teen/adult life was 225ish. Then I had tipped the scales at 256 back in 2002. I now decided it was time for surgery, I was approved. Everyone at my company was doing it, for free too, it was a fad with my coworkers, some gaining as much as 60lbs to have the surgery!! We had amazing insurance, it covered 100% with NO deductible. (I worked for Cingular Wireless back then). Eventhough I was approved, I backed out of it, through support of family/friends they didn't want me to do it, they said I could do it on my own.
I couldn't though, I didn't understand the concept of weight loss. So I went back to be approved again and found out that literally the week before, our insurance quit covering it altogether.
I wound up with a new position in the company, one that required me to be up and around moving my body and I quickly shed 43 pounds in 3 months! I wasn't trying to lose weight either, so my lack of awareness eventually resulted in total failure. Shortly after that, I had my first and only pregnancy and I delivered my daughter weighing 292 pounds!! From then on, I bounced up and down and all around between 260 and 235, like a yoyo for 4 years. Always looking for a quick fix that would 'jump start' me into weight loss. You know, some fad diet that would allow me to lose 12 pounds in 9 days if I followed it to a Tee! Haha, those don't work!!
I surrendered my life to Christ in 2007, but there was a lot of work/healing to be done. The weight loss was not something that was covered until last year. I went through an 'Inner Healing' weekend with a group of ladies. I attribute my LIFE CHANGE to God's desire for my life. He opened my spiritual eyes into recognizing how miserably I have been failing myself. Since last May, through sheer obedience to the Lord, I have started changing my life. I joined a gym and started The Prism weight loss. The Prism was a great option for me, it gave me a daily scripture and taught me how to eat and how to food journal. Counting my caloric intake is key. I was 247 when I started this on May 27, 2009. I'm now at 188.
I lose weight in spurts and then maintain. It's hard work. I don't have a relationship with fast food, ever. It's no longer part of my life. A lot of foods are not part of my life and I am okay with that. I have learned through this process though, that my mind had to be healed for this to happen. Every attempt in the past that resulted in failure was because I wanted it to be easy. Losing weight, whether it's on your own or through WLS is not easy. People are prone to going back to their old ways. Some folks who've had WLS gain it back as well.
So anyway, I'm buckling down again this month in June and fully intend on seeing 179 really soon!!
Best of luck to you young lady and my God's favor be upon your life!
Considering WLS, I need Help!
