Weight Loss Support - Do You Know Why You Stop ?




View Full Version : Do You Know Why You Stop ?


Sweetcaroline
05-26-2010, 07:47 PM
Do you know why you stop the healthy eating and exercise ?

Time and time again I have gone months eating well, exercising and losing weight...Hit Onderland... I feel great, look pretty good... and all of a sudden I start to nibble on stuff I wouldn't normally eat, do a mild workout instead of a moderate one, or skip the workouts all together... and after a couple of weeks of this behavior, I'm eating whatever.... exercising half the amount as usual, or not at all ... and boom... I'm totally off track and I've gained 12-16 pounds... 'why' ?... I don't remember making a 'decision' to eat whatever... and stop exercising... and to feel like 'crap' again... When do we decide this ? Why did I decide to change back to the unhealthy me and throw away all that work ?

I've experienced so many positives of a healthy lifestyle; lots of energy, blood sugar in good range, cardio workouts that are good for my heart (I've had a heart attack), clothes feel good... It's almost like I realize I feel good and emotionally can't handle it...

So many negatives right now, lack of energy, lethargic from no exercise, depressed, my cute clothes from last Spring don't fit... { sigh }

Does anyone one else suffer from this self sabotage syndrome ?


juliastl27
05-26-2010, 07:57 PM
i can answer this quickly and honestly

you gave up. i dont know why, maybe you got fed up, or lazy, or felt like it was taking FORever. one of the other reasons we've all used a BILLION times when we tried dieting and gave up. im not judging, we've all done it, i know i have like 50 times!

just clean yourself off and get back on track. giving up ALWAYS leads to failure and staying on track ALWAYS leads to success. its just a matter of time...

Shmead
05-26-2010, 08:17 PM
I would give up because I was hungry: low level grinding hunger that I could deny and ignore until one day I would hit my limit and the whole thing would just collapse. I didn't realize that was it--I thought I "hated dieting' or "wasn't willing to give up the foods I love" but looking back, it was the constant hunger that just wore my butt out until my will was gone.

So this time I am resolved to find the middle path between "eating whatever" and "eating 1200 calories a day, every day, without fail". I've adjusted my calorie allotment up and down as my weight has fallen and my exercise increased, but I've always kept it high enough that I am never starving, and rarely hungry. Weight is falling off me, because while I've never gone below 1500 for any period of time, I've also only gone about 2000 maybe six times since July. I would have broken down and splurged so much more often if I were as hungry as I had been in the past.


schubunny
05-26-2010, 08:24 PM
I'm sadly getting that way with the gym lately. No motivation this week or last week. My eating is still on track, but the gym has flown off somewhere.

I really need to push myself to go the next 4 days since I screwed up my schedule for this week.

I didn't go today because I think I scratched my cornea and it hurts like a b****. I really didn't feel like being in pain and running on a treadmill then go to work in front of a computer screen with something jabbing my eyeball.

:(

EZMONEY
05-26-2010, 08:54 PM
It's not that hard to figure how SWEET-C :hug:

You didn't make those changes that were successful as a lifestyle changes....forever as in your case NATION!

You made the changes to get healthy, feel better, lose weight, etc.

but they were only temporary changes....much like most of us!

No law against a little cheating but we all know when we cheat a little then we cheat a little more, then just a little more then pretty soon cheating ourselves becomes our lifestyle and that my dear SWEET-C is a ....

BIG DEAL! :hug:

duckyyellowfeet
05-26-2010, 11:11 PM
Most of the time, i feel like this is a really long process I have to go through.

I like eating healthy, I like being a more fit person, I sometimes even like exercise ;)

And I'm pretty good about those being lifestyle choices when I feel like my life is in my control. I'm great at the day-to-day, I'm not bored, I enjoy it. But I have a lot of issues with high-stress times. I haven't figured out how to incorporate the new me into the old feelings that being super-stressed out brings. I'm working on it, and each time, gets better than the last. But i feel like I wasn't born knowing how to eat healthy, and its clearly something I have to work on changing.

But the dedication to get right back on plan the next day instead of the next week is what keeps me going. I may not be the best and xyz situations, but I'm pretty good the rest of the time. And I know if I keep moving forward, learning more about myself and how to make the "new" me the only me, I'll be fine.

losermom
05-27-2010, 07:44 AM
giving up ALWAYS leads to failure and staying on track ALWAYS leads to success. its just a matter of time...

Julia, this is a profound statement of truth! I cannot say it better than that.:D

PeanutsMom704
05-27-2010, 08:05 AM
I've been trying to keep my focus that I'm not "on a diet" - I've made a decision to have a healthy life include regular activity and moderate portions of healthy food. So I can't fall off a diet - I just make choices that aren't as good. But because it's just as simple as that, I am finding it easier to go ahead and make a good choice the next time instead of using one bad meal as an excuse for one bad day and then use that day as an excuse for a bad week and just never getting back on plan.

Trust me, I'm not perfect - I struggled a lot in April and ended up putting back on almost 7 lbs of what I had lost (had gotten down to 221.8). But when I saw myself back at 228.4 on the scale and about to get back into the 230s, something snapped and I said NO! I drew a line in the sand and said that I am never going to be in the 230s again, and I fought my way back down and beyond.

And pretty soon, I'm going to be at a place where I can say that I will NEVER see the 220s again. I just have to keep drawing that line in the sand as I go and keep my promise to myself.

Posting here helps a huge amount - I kept posting even as I was gaining so that I couldn't just close my eyes to what was happening and it helped force me to be accountable and be able to make sure I didn't cross that line in the sand.

saef
05-27-2010, 08:34 AM
The last time I stopped, it was because I didn't know what moderation would be like.

I was recovering from an eating disorder. I'd taken dieting & exercising to an unsustainable extreme. Three hours a day exercising. Very rigid list of what I'd eat & at what time of day this must happen. I looked great in clothes, but had an inflexible, routine-bound life, and was sent into a panic by the prospect of eating out, or eating at someone else's house, or travel, or a day without exercise. You know, the things that happen in a full, rich life in which one is not isolated. Fortunately, I got counseling. I recovered. I got a bigger life, which included earning a graduate degree, rediscovering my creative talents & using them regularly, getting a better job, learning to drive, moving away from family. My life really bloomed.

But I put the weight back on. And then some. Because I associated any dieting or exercise at all as a lure back into hardcore zealotry. I couldn't understand moderation. So I reverted back to my old ways, which included mostly sedentary interests; habitual overeating, with occasional stress-related binge eating; not being very knowledgeable about food or cooking, which resulted in my eating a lot of precooked processed stuff or easy to prepare, high-carb stuff.

I needed to return to mindfulness about eating, but without an obsessive-compulsiveness kicking in; to eating sensibly, without following a progressively more rigid, limited & nearly self-punishing diet; to exercising, without driving myself joylessly doing the same proven things & always believing I was never doing enough.

It's just my mental makeup, that moderation is difficult for me. But I really do think it's key to sustainability. Sustainability has been my mantra this time around. I used to give up the good work because I made it so very frickin' hard on myself. Half of me became a cruel fascist taskmaster & the other half of me became this despairing, stumbling creature who felt she could never do enough or keep it going, and would just collapse under the effort.

JayEll
05-27-2010, 09:26 AM
Saef! Wow! :bravo:

Saef, there is another part of you--she is neither cruel taskmaster nor stumbling creature. She is beyond those programs and judgments. :)

Jay

Oh 2 be me
05-27-2010, 09:36 AM
For me, I let 'life' and circumstances get in the way. I've joined WW again a couple months ago for about the 5th time. I also started a new job then, well, actually I was working 2 at the time, so 6-7 days a week. I just didnt' take time to figure out what I was going to eat. I have lost a big whopping total of 3 lbs in these past few months.
I'm not good at counting points, it just takes too much of my time to try to figure out what's what. It's not enjoyable to me, does that make sense? I want this to be a life long thing for me.
I want to eat good healthy, as much whole foods as possible.
I know that I need to put more time and effort into this.
I don't want to give up completely this time.

sweetnlow28
05-27-2010, 09:58 AM
I am glad you asked this question. I have only attempted weight loss as a teen and I gave up because I just didn't know how to do it right. We didn't own a computer or have access to the internet at the time and I honestly didn't know where to turn for help. This is my first serious attempt at weight loss as an adult. The idea of giving up scares me to no end. I have always been a person who gives up when things get tough. I hate to admit it but its true.
I have noticed lately that I am feeling way less motivated to exercise and I have more days where I am feeling "deprived" of the foods I used to enjoy. Grabbing a piece of full fat cheese with my popcorn at night, and buying a 300 calorie chocolate bar as a "treat" have been occurring more lately and I need to put an end to it NOW!. My eating is still mostly on plan but I am slightly worried. Thank you everyone for your insight and to the OP for asking the question. I am going to follow this thread ;)

graciegoose13
05-27-2010, 10:12 AM
I also find, that when I get to a certain weight, maybe 10 to 15 pounds below what is average for me, I start to get too comfortable. The comfort's a problem, because then I feel like I can be more relaxed with my food choices (i.e. not really counting calories, maybe having more drinks with dinner, skipping a day at the gym), and before I know it, I'm back to where I was. For me, it's usually a gradual slip that I don't really realized before it's too late, and then I give up for long periods of a time completely. Trying not to do that this time!

Beach Patrol
05-27-2010, 10:32 AM
For me, it's always been a matter of stopping the exercise - and it's always been an injury or money issue. Money, as in "can't afford a gym membership right now" and I was always into the weight lifting, swimming & so forth. But we canceled our gym membership a few years ago & bought a home gym (and a pool!) So that's really not an issue anymore!

Mostly tho it's been injury that has stopped me. Serious injuries, like a torn rotator cuff or pulmonary embolism :rolleyes:

If I am in the "zone" & exercising regularly & whatever, my eating habits are better and I feel better. Exercise seems to be the key for me. If I'm not exercising for whatever reason, my eating habits go straight to ****.

The LAST TIME I lost a significant amount of weight, I was at 138 and re-injured my shoulder. I couldn't even WALK for exercise for 12 weeks (the natural swinging of the arm movement hurt like crazy!) and I gained up to 150 pounds. By then I was out of "exercise mode" and it went downhill from there.

:(

SCraver
05-27-2010, 11:18 AM
You didn't make those changes that were successful as a lifestyle changes....

You made the changes to get healthy, feel better, lose weight, etc.

but they were only temporary changes....

Think EZMONEY really hit the nail on the head with this one.

Although the changes I have made have been changes that COULD have been sustainable, I didn't keep up with them b/c I still had this attitude like I needed to be "on plan" to loose weight and when it got too hard, I went "off plan". I should eat veggies every day. Period. It should not be part of a "plan" or part of even eating healthy. It just should be. Our bodies need veggies everyday for the vitamins and fiber. And that is that. Even if I weighed 300 lbs, I should still eat veggies.

Ok, I am rambling. I also have this all or nothin' attitude. If I am not eating perfectly on plan, I think "why bother". Then before I know it, I am back to old habits and eating a vat of cheesey dip on a Sunday just because.

I am realizing now that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. My plan might be to eat 1600 - 1700 calories a day. But at my height and weight, I could probably still lose at 2000 calories a day. Certainly not as fast, but still heading in the right direction. And maybe I need to eat at 2000 a day b/c when I work at sticking to about 1600... I just get so HUNGRY by the end of the day and that is when I lose it. I don't do well feeling like I am denying myself.

Another thing that I am realizing is that I also feel like I can't do it. I can't possibly get down to 170. I haven't been under 200 lbs in over TEN years. I can't do it. It is too hard. I eat too much. I like food too much. I don't exersice enough. (these are the things I tell myself)

Hmm... maybe negative self talk it another issue I have??

KateGirl
05-27-2010, 11:36 AM
I think for me i would give up when I wouldnt see the numbers go down on the scale. I know that i shouldnt focus on that & i should focus on the number of inches lost but i had to change my mindset, which was tough.

I've gotten into the habit of just reminding myself that i'm not on a 'diet' per se....i'm just choosing to start working out religiously & watching what I eat.

So far its worked but I still have my days where i cheat a little bit..and then I have to make up for it the next day. I honestly believe that cheating once in a while is good for me..it helps me to stay with what it is i'm doing because i'm not restricting everything.

Beverlyjoy
05-27-2010, 11:38 AM
In the past stopping had to do with major stress in my life, serious healthy problems, or physical pain.

jay12
05-27-2010, 12:09 PM
I'm sadly getting that way with the gym lately. No motivation this week or last week. My eating is still on track, but the gym has flown off somewhere.

I really need to push myself to go the next 4 days since I screwed up my schedule for this week.

I didn't go today because I think I scratched my cornea and it hurts like a b****. I really didn't feel like being in pain and running on a treadmill then go to work in front of a computer screen with something jabbing my eyeball.

:(

i go thru the same thing sometimes as long as u are concsious of it and get back on it u will be fine. sometimes i get lazy but the guilt and just seeing how far i have come makes me not want to stop. all u have to do is just get up. just do it and u will fell better dont let to much time pass because u might start eating alot and next thing u know ur back to square 1. please dont quit!

Sweetcaroline
05-27-2010, 05:24 PM
thank you everyone . . .

jendiet
05-27-2010, 05:31 PM
saef, the one time i lost a bunch of weight...i didn't know what to do when i got there, because I didn't know moderation either...i became a beast at the table, with all the "don't eat that, can't touch this". And when I was thrown into an environment that I couldn't tightly hold the reins and control every aspect of what went in my food, i collapsed under my own tyranny to myself...

so I also am learning moderation! Right now, i'm focusing on healthier eating, getting the gunk i let get trapped in my colon out, balancing my blood sugar through good natural food...and remembering that one chip, or piece of candy is not going to topple my stack of cards.

i suffered through two eating disorders too. anorexia, and bulemia. i actually ended up with both because i would not eat til i felt like i would starve and be so scared once i did eat, i would throw it up.--totally out of control.

saef
05-27-2010, 10:03 PM
Jay wrote: Saef, there is another part of you--she is neither cruel taskmaster nor stumbling creature. She is beyond those programs and judgments.

[Snuffle, snuffle.] Thanks for that. Yes, that is the person who's able to see clearly now what was happening & to tell about it. So I know how to see it in myself, if it should come on again. I don't think it will this time, though. And so that anyone reading this might see themselves in it, if it is appropriate. For many, it won't be. For many, the problem is apathy & petering out. But for some, the problem is overzealousness, ending in a crash.

Jendiet wrote: i suffered through two eating disorders too. anorexia, and bulemia. i actually ended up with both because i would not eat til i felt like i would starve and be so scared once i did eat, i would throw it up.--totally out of control.

I joke that I became bulimic because I failed at being a long-term anorectic. I didn't throw up, though. My form of purging was overexercising. I don't mean a long planned stint of exercise every day. That can mean you're an athlete & you're in training. Or that you're addicted to exercise. It can mean anything, in other words. What I am talking about is bingeing, falling into blackest despair & then rushing off to the gym to "work it off" in three consecutive exercise classes plus a solitary stint on some machine.

Jendiet, personally, with my history, I avoid any kind of fasting or cleansing behaviors. I fear the mindset, for me, and I fear they would be triggers. They represent extremes & I am intent on moderation. (Please note: When I say I am not a proponent of fasting, I do not pass judgment on those with a religious background in which fasting plays a part.) I speak only for myself & my own history of extremism in self-denial & overexercising. For the likes of me, with my eating disorder background there will be no colon cleansing or Master Cleanse or one-meal-a-day plans or anything like that. It's simply not a safe thing for me to do.

DhaniCauldwell
05-27-2010, 10:06 PM
For me, I think I get bored. I get tired of eating fruits and veggies and low-fat dairy all the time. My new plan is to weigh myself every day so that I can keep tabs on myself and not let myself get away again!

:queen: Dhani :queen:

jendiet
05-27-2010, 10:08 PM
saef, i agree with you to an extent. But i do fast for spiritual reasons as well as health reasons...i see benefits in both areas. to me fasting is a very good way to reset your cravings. it always works...after a fast, i only want good wholesome food. not processed crap.