Weight Loss Support - Dont tell me to stop losing weight!!

05-26-2010, 01:20 PM
I'm sick of coworkers telling me stuff like "you look good but don't lose any more weight". I was sick last week and one person even had the nerve to tell me my dieting is why I was sick, and I'd only get sicker if I continued. For Pete's sake, I'm still 15 lbs overweight! I even want to lose another 25-30 more. They're not going to stop me from doing this for me. I wish they could just compliment me or keep out of it. Anyone else have this problem?

05-26-2010, 01:46 PM
I've had this happen before...not recently haha but the last time i lost alot of weight, I think people just get jealous because your on your path to a healthier life! I say don't worry about what they say, if they continue to say something just say look this is my choice, I want to be healthy!
Good luck!!

05-26-2010, 01:53 PM
I'd just say "okay" and then walk away. When you say okay they can't argue with you anymore lol.

05-26-2010, 02:06 PM
I'd just say "okay" and then walk away. When you say okay they can't argue with you anymore lol.

LOL I do this all the time. it works out pretty well. But yeah when people say that to me (well at least in the past, when I went down to being 10-15 lbs overweight) I just tell them "I'll see" and kinda smile/nod if they say anything else. They usually change the topic after that. It gets too exhausting to have to explain yourself to people constantly about the same topic.. they usually just keep insisting you stop.

05-26-2010, 04:58 PM
Yep- I personally haven't experienced this yet, other than people at work commenting on how small my lunches are and that I need to eat more... "Uhhh, no I don't! Eating more is how I got FATabulous!"

A friend and coworker of mine has lost about 80 lbs and though she wants to lose 15-20 more, people are constantly telling her that she should stop dieting and stop losing weight. This annoys her to no end and I can completely understand.

The way I see it, these people are HATERS! Usually, the people commenting like this are very overweight. If they're not overweight, then they're just hating because they can. They're jealous of someone else accomplishing something great. They're jealous of someone bettering their lives and moving towards a happier, healthier existence. Take it as a compliment- you must really be doing something right if people are starting to hate on you because of it!!


Beach Patrol
05-26-2010, 05:03 PM
I would say "Okay! I'll stop losing weight! AS SOON AS I REACH MY GOAL!"

Then I'd flip my hair like a DIVA and STRUT away!

My Body in Motion
05-26-2010, 05:12 PM
That happened to my husband. He lost about 80 pounds 5 years ago. He got to where he was at a normal, healthy weight for his height. But people (especially his grandmother) kept telling him that he was too skinny and that he didn't look healthy.

I think it's just that they were so used to him being overweight that the overweight guy became the "normal." So when he lost, they just didn't think he looked like himself. He has kept the weight off, and now people are used to it and think he looks fine.

05-26-2010, 05:15 PM
I would say "Okay! I'll stop losing weight! AS SOON AS I REACH MY GOAL!"

Then I'd flip my hair like a DIVA and STRUT away!


This is by far my favorite solution!

05-26-2010, 05:35 PM
"You look good, don't lose any more weight" needs translation.

It can mean:

1) "Your success at doing something that I find very difficult makes me feel bad about myself. So stop already, because I'm already insecure & you're damaging my self-esteem."

2) "You're messing up this mental image of you that I've been carrying in my mind. I had you pegged as a certain kind of person. Now I'm turning out to be wrong. So stop already, because you're upsetting my complacency."

3) "I was happier when I was pretty sure that I was better-looking than you. Now I'm beginning to have doubts. Maybe I'm not. So stop already, because you're threatening me."

4) "You're talking too much about diet & exercise. I'd rather talk about Nicole & Evan on 'Dancing With the Stars' or the 'Lost' finale. So stop already, because you were more fun when you were less single-minded."

5) "I've read 2 articles about eating disorders in women's magazines in my doctor's waiting room over the past 6 years, which qualifies me as an expert in diagnosing one, and I kinda sorta think you have one, because you've lost weight -- therefore you must be sick. So stop already."

Match the comments you received with the agenda you think they're likely serving.

05-26-2010, 05:53 PM
I think that most of these people are simply not confident enough to realize that YOU are. :p

Subconciously... they want you to stop... so you'll always be lower than them... not rise above them. ;)

05-26-2010, 06:34 PM
As usual Saef's insight is wonderful!

05-26-2010, 06:47 PM
Seriously, would someone look at you and say "You look good, but don't get any fatter (or any more pimples, or any more cellulite, or any more gray hair, etc. etc. etc.)" I would hope not! But somehow people do it with skinny people - I really think they somehow might think it is a compliment. But it isn't and it is none of their business.

People can just be rude and thoughtless. We shouldn't say any of these sort of things to people. We should be encouraging and positive and uplifting!

I am so sorry people are giving you a hard time. I wish it wasn't that way for you. Keep up the good work and ignore any and all hurtful and uncalled for comments! Keep chugging on to your goals!

05-26-2010, 06:50 PM
jealousy and competition. if theyre bigger than you, they want you to stop because theyre jealous. if theyre smaller than you, they dont want to end up bigger than you!

i know thats a pessimistic viewpoint, but in MY experience, it's usually true.

05-26-2010, 07:03 PM
Especially because I don't look
like I'm almost 150 lbs, people
will say stuff like, "Why are you
dieting? You don't need to lose weight!"

Well, uh, yes I do! I'm suppose to be
at 120 - 130 for my height and age. :(

05-26-2010, 07:42 PM
Saef is right on. I went through this, eventually it passed. IMO It's easiest to smile that vague, distracted smile like you're thinking of something else("gee this person is an intrusive idiot") and walk away. Losing weight is like being pregnant, a lot of people think that makes your body public property. At least no one tries to rub your belly ;)

Thighs Be Gone
05-26-2010, 08:15 PM
julia is spot on...

Don't. Discuss. Weightloss. with. anyone. in. real. time.

That is why the 3fc is dead center in front of you.

05-27-2010, 01:42 AM
Saef, you are so funny and so insightful at the same time!
It's nice to have someone that makes you laugh about the more irritating issues of losing weight. Keep it coming!

05-27-2010, 01:13 PM
I would say "Okay! I'll stop losing weight! AS SOON AS I REACH MY GOAL!"

Then I'd flip my hair like a DIVA and STRUT away!


05-27-2010, 02:01 PM
I've had people say this to me recently, and I'm still very obese. In fact, it hasn't been that long since I celebrated leaving morbid obesity. :) So I've come to two conclusions about this phenom. There are two groups of people who would say something like this to you:

The first group is of people who are trying to bring you down. They may or may not be (but usually are) overweight themselves, and it's very common for insecurities to come into play when someone loses a vast amount of weight. It can happen with friends, co-workers, relatives, what have you - jealousy is a beast. They may not want you weighing less than them. It's also possible they want to lose weight but are struggling and are therefore bothered by your success. It could be anything, but these people should be ignored.

The second group is of people who genuinely believe you are losing too much weight - they actually exist out there! Some people may have a hard time guessing the weights of others or possibly they are so used to seeing you as overweight that seeing you this close to your goal is messing with their heads! Another thing to keep in mind is that our society has been brainwashed into accepting being overweight as the norm, so much so that a person who is a "normal" weight is often called horrible things and accused of having eating disorders.

05-27-2010, 02:33 PM
Well, I get where most of you are coming from and I'd really have to be there and hear the tone used, see the body language, facial expressions, etc. to judge accurately.

Having said that, I will say that in my experience it hasn't really been a negative thing. My brother said it repeatedly to me when I went home for a visit several days ago. I took no offense. He hadn't seen me in years and it was such a shock to see how much smaller I am. He had seen pictures and we'd talked about my wt loss but it was much different in person.

I think it's a comparison thing. I mean if a person loses a large amount of weight (in my case 50+ pounds) they do look skinny COMPARED to the way they once looked. My brother kept calling me skinny. Now, I don't have to tell any of you that someone who is barely over 5' tall and weighs in at just under 200# IS NOT skinny. I know I have more to lose. If he knew my weight, he'd say the same thing. BUT, compared to before even I think I look 'skinny'. When I'm getting out of the shower, not so much--but in a cute pencil skirt and fitted shirt--yeah, I'm looking good.

I'm just saying, maybe it's not all negativity when people say such things. When I hear these things, I just laugh and say thank you!

05-27-2010, 04:26 PM
Smile, say "Thank you for your concern" (and mean it!), and go on your way. You don't owe them a rebuttal or an explanation, and they may not deserve a sarcastic remark. Assume that they mean well, and truly think you're moving into unhealthy territory. And just let it go.