im not sure what to say. im unmotivated to move let alone diet and exercise. Life is horrible, please say something nice, maybe it can make me want to go on the right track.
05-26-2010, 11:56 AM
You CAN do this! You have within yourself the power to change your eating habits, your exercise, your weight. Give yourself a hug, say that you are worth it. . .then believe yourself.:)
05-26-2010, 12:11 PM
I wish you luck, but when it comes down to it, you are the only one who can do it for you.
05-26-2010, 12:14 PM
One of the biggest things that has helped me in the past week is the sudden realization in my head that it's not "later" or "I'll just have this one last thing THEN I'll do it" and so on... but NOW.
You can do it. Just do it! I know... sounds harsh. I've been overweight most of my life. I've said over and over to myself "I'll just lose ten pounds" or "I'll just lose enough to fit into my "skinny" jeans" and so on. But... I'd do a day or two of stuff... or a week... my record... but because I didn't honestly truly WANT it... I never kept up with it. I guess the biggest thing is that you have to prove (to us and to yourself) that you really DO want it. Especially to yourself.
Nobody is making you, me, or anyone on here "fat". Nobody is making us fail our diets, screw up, etc. Some people might say things like "there is no such thing as failure" and "cheat meals don't exist"... and yeah... they don't. But IMHO, that's a bit of an excuse. No... there is no failure. But you can fail yourself. Doesn't mean you're a horrible person and you'll never get it right... but you'll never get it right if you consistantly allow yourself to fail. With anything. Whether it be homework and school/job related things, or with dieting and health.
I guess the biggest thing that I encourage you to do is to give a long hard thought. How hard do YOU want this? How hard are YOU going to work? Because we can give you all the advice in the world... your friends and family can encourage you and do everything to help you... but in the end... YOU are the one who makes it happen. Not us, not them. :)
I'm not trying to be harsh, mean, or anything. I'm simply stating what has helped me get past this plateau I've kept myself on for the past five years of my life. In the past, I've told myself "I can't do it" or "I keep failing" or "oh... I'll just have one last thing before I do this". And... no. That just won't work. I had to think... how bad do I want this? And now... looking at my photos... my videos... and more... I cringe. I'm a confident, sexy, beautiful young woman trapped in an unconfident, flabby, ugly 215 lb body. I want out. It's my life... I want to live it... and enjoy it. Not as a punishment. No... being able to diet and lose weight is a PRIVELEDGE. It's an amazing thing. Unlike health issues such as diabetes, genetic heart problems, down's syndrome, and so on... we CAN change this. Not just live with it.
ETA: About life being horrible. Honey (I feel so old saying that... though I'm only seventeen... :p ), you're the only one that can make something horrible. I've moved from one place to another all over the world (no... not country... WORLD) for the past 9 years. I've never lived a normal life. Never had long-term friendships. I've lost family members to death... and all I got was a phone call. I could have complained, moped, talked about how horrible my life was... no. I learned to adapt. I've learned to become a chameleon. When I go to a new school, I find something to be happy about. Something I can enjoy. Even if everything else is bad... find something you can be very happy about. That'll help.
05-26-2010, 01:10 PM
Just remember that no one can help you but yourself. We can give you all the support and motivating stories- it's up to you to find your motivation and of course we'll be here to support you!
I'm not sure what you are doing- but maybe you are trying to change too much too soon and expecting results quickly? Try changing one thing a week if you feel overwhelmed. Like this week cut out soda, then next week start cooking more, etc. Good luck.
05-26-2010, 04:44 PM
If nothing is going well around you, if you eat right and treat yourself well, that is ONE GOOD THING happening to you that you can hold on to.
I think that sometimes, when life is stressful and I'm busy. I think, well, at least I'm on track with my eating. That's something, at least!
05-26-2010, 05:00 PM
I had to think... how bad do I want this? And now... looking at my photos... my videos... and more... I cringe. I'm a confident, sexy, beautiful young woman trapped in an unconfident, flabby, ugly 215 lb body. I want out. It's my life... I want to live it... and enjoy it.
:hug: VERY sage advice from someone so young! :bravo:
05-26-2010, 05:06 PM
Shattered- I wanted to give you some support.
YOU are worthwhile. You are worth becoming anything you want to become. Do not let anyone (even yourself) tell you you can't do something.. Anything!
Good luck :)
05-26-2010, 05:12 PM
You deserve to put yourself first by treating your body AND mind accordingly! Sorry you are having such a rough time today :hug:
05-26-2010, 05:27 PM
And what if I don't say something nice? Are you going to quit life just because some total stranger wasn't nice? Hopefully not! Equally so, starting a healthier life style can't be because someone was nice to you. It has to be because YOU want it. Clearly, you DO want it. So what's holding you back?
Why did you appologize for seeking help and motivation? Don't! There is nothing wrong with asking for help! None! Everyone here (that I've met) is good and kind, not only willing to help, but wanting to. But I'm concerned that you don't really need diet/exercise/healthy living advice or even our encouragement.
I'm concerned you might need some deeper emotional help.
Forgive me if I am way wrong, but everything I can see here indicates this. "Shatteredfallendove" "Aiming to be a better me" "Someday I'll be a flower" "Life is horrible" "I'm sorry" I'm not sure what's at the heart of the issue, why life is horrible. I'm not familiar with you or your story. But please, IF you are in a bad place, don't be afraid to seek help. People care. They really do.
Lastly, I'm going to tell you something that might surprise you. Ready? You already are a better you! You already are a flower! Why do you think you're not? Because you gained weight? That doesn't make you any less of a person, any less deserving of happiness or health. It doesn't, I promise!
05-26-2010, 05:30 PM
I could say a million nice things, but the fact is, that won't make you change any habits or want to to move. You have to want it for yourself.
That said, I do have something nice I truly want to tell you...
You are worth every bit of effort it will take to motivate yourself.
You are an amazing, wonderful, strong person with goals and dreams, and no one can take that away of you don't let them. So don't let them.
Our weaknesses are our strengths waiting to be discovered, you just have to overcome it and it will take time and effort and you will be frustrated and tired and wondering why you are putting in all this effort... but don't forget... don't EVER forget... it's because you deserve every good thing in life and you are completely and utterly worth it and deserving.
You just have to tell yourself so... and believe it.
So take a deep breath, forget whatever you regret and remind yourself this is a new day, your day and tell yourself: I AM SO WORTH THIS.
05-26-2010, 05:32 PM
It really helps to feel better about yourself NOW, not just when you "get there." Can you go out and buy yourself one of those pretty, flowy blouses that even the skinniest gals are wearing now? You'll feel attractive and worthy - even if you get it at the thrift shop.
05-26-2010, 05:39 PM
Just get yourself into a routine and avoid thinking about it as a diet. You wouldn't just stop eating healthy and being active when you reach a certain weight would you? That's how people gain it back. Make small changes that will build up to a healthy and fit life. You don't have to work out for 3 hours every day for this. Just take a walk. Then, add a cup of water everyday until you reach your full 8 cups, I know eating right is hard in college, but slowly add in more fruits and veggies, do some push ups against a wall until you feel strong enough to do it on the floor.... Just little changes that will add up and mastering these changes will help you to feel good, accomplished and ready to take on something new.
I looked at your profile, you are a gorgeous young woman and you have a full life ahead of you. You are still young enough to get healthy now, it's easier than battling weight when we get a little older and hormones change and work and babies and everything else that comes with it.
Start small, build up, keep consistent and LOVE YOURSELF!
05-26-2010, 05:49 PM
First off :hug: :hug: :hug: to you.
I read some of your other posts before responding here and saw at least one in the OA section. Have you gone to any OA meetings? Sometimes it helps when you can see and hear others discussing the same challenges you are having. It's like 3FC kicked up a notch.
Don't give up. If you keep going you will find what works for you.
05-26-2010, 05:51 PM
:hug: VERY sage advice from someone so young! :bravo:
Haha... I actually just reread that... after about five hours. WHOA... I think I'll bookmark this post so I can quote that once I've been here twenty days and I can get my siggy... :p I like that quote. :cool: And it's even weirder because it did come from me. :D
But to the OP... you're not alone. Don't ever think that you are. But do you want to stay stuck? Or do you want to pull yourself out? Only you can do that.
Think of it as being in a pit with a hundred other people. There are a hundred people a hundred feet above you. It's a rock wall. You can climb it. It'll be hard... but doable. There's nothing anybody on your same level can do to push you to start. They can pull you down... but can't push you up. There's not much that the people above can do to help. They can offer words of encouragement... but if they try and offer more assistance, they'd fall too if you did. It's a hard journey... one that you have to start and finish. Yes, you can get help along the way... but in the end... YOU are the one to do it. And you can. Trust me... you can. :hug:
05-26-2010, 06:47 PM
Shattered, I know how you feel. Although I'm sensitive and receptive to your feelings, I cannot coddle you, because that would be enabling. At times, I still end up in that black hole and have to take a look and scratch beyond the surface.
The reality is that I do not want to be 6 feet under from a sudden heart attack. It can happen tomorrow. And then, I'll take one look into my son's eyes and it all becomes clear.
For me...this is not about if I feel I'm "worth it" or not. We're all worth it, God doesn't make junk. It's about whether I want to live or die. I refuse to just exist and feel like the walking dead any longer. Please don't continue to take your mortality for granted. A decision needs to be made either way and only you can make it. You can do it and you have tons of great people here to hold your hand along the way. Take control, it's all yours. Turn that frown upside down, Chickadee. ;)
05-26-2010, 07:04 PM
Ive been suffering from a lack of motivation as well. Ive refused to completly give up and have been taking baby steps. Today, I may not walk cause it is too dang hot and ill make about half a mile before Im ready to pass out, but Ive started reducing my calorie intake. It may not be as low as others its to 1800 and too me that feels like progress.. give it try do one little thing then try another before you know it it will all add up and you'll be on your road to a healthier you.
I saw a commercial last night that picked me up and made me want to keep trying. It was for Jillian Michaels new tv show...darn i think I got her name wrong ..anyway one of the women she was working with said :
"I can do anything I set my mind to. I just gotta DO IT"
Darn straight! That hit home for me if I can get straight A's in college through pure determination..and no I'm not one of those people who grades come easy too then I darn well can do this.
I am willing to bet you can too!!!. My confidence for you is this big .........infinity.......!!!!!
Just do it and if you like we can do it together. Im just starting as well.
Phew, I hope that was helpful I just kinda typed :) and I think you need a great big hug *****hug*****
05-26-2010, 07:24 PM
All I can say is - is that you have the ability to do this. I wish someone would have told me this decades ago - you've got the ability to lose the weight. You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be. I thought for many years that I could not. That I didn't have the strength, the will power, the control - that whatever. But that was false. I was capable of it the whole time. The whole time. Every one is. We've all got what it takes to do this. Dig down deep. Stretch. You don't have to overeat. You've got the ability to turn this around. Being overweight IS a choice, just as losing the weight is a choice. The control will never land in your lap though, you've got to get out there and grab it. Take it. Hold on for dear life. Make a plan and stick to it like glue. Like glue. Whether you feel like it or not, no matter how bad the cravings are - work through it, push through it. Don't give in - they will pass. It's okay to tell yourself no. In fact, it's wonderful. Work past the initial, temporary discomfort. Challenge yourself. Make a game of it. Push yourself and push yourself and before you know it, you will be doing what you once thought was impossible.
Check in here often. Make a game plan, a mode of attack and get into it!! Become passionate about good health. Make it your job, your mission.
DECIDE to do this. I look forward to hearing of your progress. :)