100 lb. Club - Mortified :|

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05-25-2010, 05:35 PM
I went shopping with my bf's mom again today. We went to an outlet type store, they didn't have a dressing room and his momma whipped out a friggin measuring tape and started measuring my waist right in the friggin store around other people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I prayed for the ground to swallow me up but nope, it didn't happen. I know she didn't do it to be mean but jeez louise, I was so humiliated :|

05-25-2010, 05:41 PM
I would die! Although, let's think of this in a positive way. The fact that she did this means that she feels completly comfortable with you. So it's a good thing, even though it was embarassing.

05-25-2010, 05:43 PM

Good lord.

05-25-2010, 05:47 PM
Uh... I would have told her that was inappropriate.
I do think it is a good sign that she is comfortable with you. I don't think I would go shopping with her anymore though.

05-25-2010, 06:16 PM
Yeah, I am sure I won't be clothes shopping with her again. Thanks for the support :hug:

05-25-2010, 06:18 PM
Maybe she has a death wish. She would have lost a limb had she done that to me!

(just kidding, but wow! that's awful!)

05-25-2010, 06:28 PM
yikes!!! I'm glad you can look at it and say she wasn't trying to be mean or anything but the woman has some serious boundary issues!

Does your bf have any sisters? Maybe she's just clueless about mother-daughter(ish) type interaction?

05-25-2010, 06:28 PM
I'm sorry you were embarrassed. Maybe I'm strange though because I don't see it as anything horrible for her to have done. Though she should have maybe offered you the measuring tape to do it yourself instead.

05-25-2010, 06:42 PM
I agree with FitGirlyGirl. Actually, I'm pretty impressed she HAD a measuring tape with her! It beats buying clothes that don't fit, right? :) Did you find anything good?

05-25-2010, 06:44 PM
Oh my goodness - that's strange. I am sure you were shocked. Sorry you had to go through it.

05-25-2010, 06:56 PM
My issue with this is if she knew she might have to take your measurements why not do it ahead of time, in the privacy of your or her home before you left for the shopping trip.

05-25-2010, 07:00 PM
Seriously? That is just strange.

05-25-2010, 07:02 PM
Sorry you were embarrassed. It reminds me of shopping with my mom. She has a habit of doing things like saying loudly, "hey I found a (insert bra size) bra over here!" so the whole store can hear. She truly means well and is trying to be helpful as I'm sure your boyfriend's mother does.

05-25-2010, 07:07 PM
Embarrassing as that was I hope you got some new clothes. You have lost a lot of weight, you must swim in your old clothes. It''s a good thing, as Martha would say.

05-25-2010, 07:18 PM
I did get 2 pair of capris and 2 tops :D

05-25-2010, 07:19 PM
I know this isn't "normal," to many people, but it sounds entirely normal to me.

If she's a seamstress (or was raised by or around seamstress/tailor relatives), she probably doesn't have the same measurement phobia that others do. It can be hard to remember the social protocols outside of the ones you were raised with. My mother whipped out the measuring tape so often, you'd think she'd have gotten wrist whiplash.

When I was growing up, my father was a volunteer EMT and "gross" conversations became everyday ones. At the volunteer EMT picnics - the adults would discuss graphic medical procedures before and even while eating, and it rubbed off on many of the families in the home, too. It shifted "normal," for me. As a result, I often forget what is and is not appropriate dinner conversation (my friends and husband tease me about it, and it helps me remember - but I still forget).

I've learned that there is no single "normal," and even "rude" becomes almost meaningless when there are so many different versions of the rules for normalcy (what is a polite obligation in one subculture, is extreme rudeness in another).

To me, it seems extremely odd that anyone would be ashamed or embarssed of (or feel the need to hide) their weight, clothing size, or measurements. Primarily, because you can't hide your size - the most reliable measure of overweight isn't the scale, the clothing size, or your measurements, it's your eyesight. You see yourself in the mirror, and people see you every day. It seems about as weird to me as refusing to talk about or "reveal" your eye color - just because you don't tell anyone they're blue - uh, they still know.

I'm not dismissing your feelings. You have every right to them, whatever they are, but it helps to know that there are dozens of "normal" so the only way you get people to treat you the way you want to - is to tell them. If you don't like or are embarassed by something they're doing, it's more effective to say "stop that, I don't like it," than to suffer and wish they understood.

05-25-2010, 07:19 PM
Oooh! I am so sorry--how humiliating! That and the fact that you are trying to be nice to her so I'm sure that you didn't feel comfortable saying anything. That stinks! (((hugs)))

05-25-2010, 07:48 PM
lol I'm still amazed that she had a measuring tape in her purse to begin with...was she a girl scout or a boy scout den mother? ;)

05-25-2010, 07:50 PM
lol girl I feel ya! When we started out biggest loser at work I was mortified when I had to strip down and get measured. Even though it was only me and one other girl AND she's a fitness person who does this all the time...

Great job on getting some new clothes :D

05-25-2010, 07:58 PM
My mind instantly pictures the embarrasing mother taking her kids back to school shopping and doing this in front of their friends shopping at the same store!

I would have died for a moment any way.. but hey you got 2 outfits so there is a victory there somewhere!

05-25-2010, 08:14 PM
Thanks :hug:

05-25-2010, 09:09 PM
I alwys carry a measuring tape with me, not to measure me but to measure the inseam on pants, I am short and try to get something that I won't have to alter.

05-25-2010, 09:37 PM
I don't care if she carries a measuring tape but good grief, I have enough insecurities about my body and weight loss and all that and I don't need some one I barely know taking my measurements in public :/

05-25-2010, 09:41 PM
Yeah, I know , it's bad enough to get on the scale at the doctor's office, even worse to put on that skimpy paper gown when you are getting an exam.

05-25-2010, 10:00 PM
My mom always has a tape measurer in her purse. She never measured me in the store. But I am tall and back in the 80's it was hard to get jeans that fit, not only the inseam, but the waist to crotch length was a problem. She would measure all of the pants to see if they met the min. length requirements so I wouldn't waste time trying on pants that weren't going to fit.
I'm sorry you were embarassed. I hate feeling that way. If her heart was in the right place, I say don't nix shopping with her in the future. Instead tell her it makes you uncomfortable and do measurements before you hit the stores next time. Glad you were able to find some new clothes.

05-25-2010, 10:04 PM
I don't care if she carries a measuring tape but good grief, I have enough insecurities about my body and weight loss and all that and I don't need some one I barely know taking my measurements in public :/

Totally understandable. Put this one up there with asking someone's weight or when their baby is due! Not cool.

05-25-2010, 10:37 PM
Oh, reminds me of the time in high school my mom held a bra cup up to my young boob in the crowded PX (military shopping store) with tons of people all around. THANKS MOM FOR THE EMOTIONAL SCARRING.

05-25-2010, 11:37 PM
I must be the biggest b!tch in the world because those things would never happen to me, lightening fast I'd be "sorry that's not happening" LOL actually I've said worse :D embrace the inner crossing guard!!! NOoOoooooo is a powerful word

05-26-2010, 01:17 AM
LOL, Trazey :hug: