Weight Loss Support - Reminding myself this isn't a competition

motivated chickie
05-23-2010, 04:03 PM
I went to a club last night that caters more to a upscale crowd. That's not my style, but my friends were there. And I was shocked to realize that I was the "fattest" woman in the room. The women dancing there all looked like they could be models (except they were all under 5' 3").

I had to remind myself that this kind of club caters to beautiful people who wear stylish, scanty clothes. And there I was in jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup on. I felt like the ugly duckling.

I had to keep reminding myself that I look fine as I am and I don't have to compete with women 15 years younger than me. But I was agog of these women who were genetically designed to be petite, rail thin, & yet well endowed. I was happy for these women to be so stunningly beautiful, but I admit I felt like a frump.

But the music was great and I had fun dancing with my friends.

Just wanted to vent a little.

05-23-2010, 04:23 PM
Glad you had a good time with the dancing :hug:

05-23-2010, 05:44 PM

05-23-2010, 06:28 PM
But I was agog of these women who were genetically designed to be petite, rail thin, & yet well endowed.

They may well have been "designed" but it probably wasn't by their genes. Rail thin and well endowed seldom go together.

You had fun and that's the main thing!

05-23-2010, 06:41 PM
Ah, yes. This happens to me quite a lot, actually. It's called my yoga class. And my Pilates class. It's also called Soho on Saturday afternoon, when everyone's shopping. Or Nolita or the far West Village on Saturday night, when everyone's out clubbing, and there are actual models picking between the Belgian blocks to their cabs in scary heels. Or the Village on Sunday, during brunch, when all the tables are set out on the sidewalk under the sycamore & pear trees.

Since I lost weight, the service at all these places is much, much better, but I am still often the heaviest woman around.

The people in these places respond to self-confidence. I may not be a model, but I might be well-known in some other industry, and they don't know that. If you act as though you have every right to be there -- you do, of course, that's the secret -- you'll be fine. So what if I don't get attention from the Wall Street model-chasers. That's okay. My value is inherent, not comparative, and doesn't change when my setting & the crowd changes.

That said, yeah, it's fascinating to see how social norms shift from group to group. The affluent do like their women thin. It's really apparent when you're traveling through neighborhoods in NY. On Fordham Road, in the Bronx, the more commonly seen body type is not the same as the body type shown off on Madison & 75th on the Upper East Side. I wasn't surprised when I read that article about one's weight being partly determined by one's friends & the people one sees every day.