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TornadoSiren
05-22-2010, 07:46 PM
Just happened to come across this while browsing, and wanted to share it. I just did a direct copy and paste.



Here’s the thing. i do not hate skinny girls. i do not think jutting hipbones are ugly or that seeing ribs is unnatural or that you are wrong or not a “real woman” or whatever because you are thin. i’m not for that kind of girl on girl hate. i don’t see it as productive at all, and i try to make an effort to not participate in it.

what i DO hate is the idea that only skinny girls are considered pretty. i hate it when people try to convince themselves or others that only girls who fit a certain shape are worthy of love, or lust, or physical admiration and attraction. i hate it when girls who do not fit that shape are raised (maybe even by their professional, feminist, well read, beautiful mothers) to believe that there is something wrong with them… that they are not the right kind of girl because they have flesh, that they are wrong for having some love chub. i hate it when the remedy for this is, “oh, but you’re smart. looks aren’t everything. being judged by your body is degrading” because, no, it’s not. being judged solely on a narrow and constricting (puns intended) definition of what makes a body worthy is what’s degrading. we should celebrate our bodies.

i hate it when men think that they have the right to proclaim the only beautiful shape a woman’s body can be. i hate it when girls do this to other girls. i hate it when we do this to ourselves in the dark of night, pinching our thighs or sighing in the mirror.

because (and this is a big because) we are ALL BEAUTIFUL. ALL OF US. i’ve said this before, but it doesn’t get said by the world enough, so i’m saying it again. we’re not beautiful because society thinks so or because our girlfriends or boyfriends or best friends think so, or even because our parents (or children?) think so.

we are beautiful because we are divine creatures. the fact that we even exist, that i have skin growing over a body that at this moment is breathing and pumping blood and growing hair and seeing these little black marks on a screen and a mind that is even considering these ideas and issues— and you have one too— is a miracle. not a God miracle (unless that’s what you believe, in which case go for it) but just an everyday, dawn of time, the-universe-is-a-mystic-and-mysterious place miracle. your moles are beautiful; your stretchmarks are beautiful. your hips are beautiful and the lines in your neck are beautiful and the bony trail of your spine is beautiful, your ankles are beautiful and your knuckles are beautiful and even your nostrils are beautiful… and if we could just accept and celebrate that, we could change the entire world. and really, what more could we ask for?


paris81
05-22-2010, 10:31 PM
This is fantastic! It's so true, and it needs to be remembered. There is the health aspect of course, but that's not what this person is talking about, they're just trying to reveal something about society that is just so true and so sad. Thanks for posting!

jennyplain
05-22-2010, 11:13 PM
If I lost a hundred pounds, there would still be things about me that society would deem 'unacceptable'. My breasts aren't big enough, I have moles, there's a gap in my front teeth, I'm not a natural blonde. Society dictates a perfection that none of us can live up to - even the models in the magazines are airbrushed to **** and back.

So thank you for this post. :) It's good to be reminded that we are all amazing, wonderful, beautiful creatures.


sweetnlow28
05-23-2010, 09:53 AM
That is a great article! These are the values I am trying to instill in my daughter before society imposes it's ugly views on her. Thanks for sharing, I needed that pick me up today ;)

saef
05-23-2010, 10:30 AM
I believe this, too, but I can only hold onto this belief for maybe 15 minutes at a time, because I am living in a culture that does not believe this at all. Face it, that isn't a very convenient or productive belief in a consumer society.

To keep going, a consumer society requires people to consume: To buy things. People buy things from a vague dissatisfaction or from feeling a need or a lack -- they realize they have no skinny jeans like Gap ads, no cardigans or flipflops like Old Navy ads, no sneakers that give you workout while walking, hair that doesn't look like Pantene, a body that doesn't look like Tony Horton infomercials or Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred results, lashes that aren't long enough because you're not using Latisse or Maybelle Lash Blast, skin that could really use airbrushing or a good coating of mineral makeup. So many of the things I see are designed to make me believe I want & need all that stuff, because it will enhance my appearance & my happiness. All those companies thrive on my always feeling not quite beautiful enough & always looking for the next thing that will give me that little edge.

The pressure is immense. I can only withstand it for brief periods of time, after meditating, or reading something like that post, or reflecting for a few minutes.

If I were a better person, I would walk around with that knowledge always glowing inside me, deep down, and I would be impervious to anything that even faintly suggested otherwise. But it's very hard to hold to that ideal constantly. I daresay it might even require forswearing much of the modern world & sequestering myself away in a place where I'd never be subject to any other message. But I like participating actively in this culture, so it's not an option for me.

Still, it's good to hear people saying & thinking that. It's always refreshing & helps me clear my head for brief moments, and that's saying something.

seafoamgreen
05-23-2010, 10:58 AM
Thanks for this post! I am able to keep the fact that we are all so much more beautiful than any measure thought up by the advertising agencies in mind most of the time. But it's still nice to be reinforced by things like this and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. :-)

mkendrick
05-23-2010, 11:17 AM
First of all, and this is derailing the point of your post, but I wanted to comment on how you and I think exactly alike in your last paragraph. I'm not a religious person, one could call me an atheist or agnostic, but I see the universe, as it's scientifically explained, as a higher power. Not necessarily a conscious being, but it's just so vast and complex and above the comprehension of the human species, that we have no choice but to call it a greater or higher power. I'm fascinated by the tiny miracles around us. I often use the example of my thumbnail, there could be libraries of books of knowledge filled on the subject of my thumbnail. The evolution of thumbnails, the physical properties of thumbnails, the biological processes of the thumbnail, the biochemical properties, the molecular properties, the physical properties, theoretical quantum physics of the nanoparticles of the thumbnail. Etc. That to me is beautiful; how complex and miraculous the natural world is, and the fact that it can organize itself into sentient beings (us). I appreciate my body, other peoples' bodies, the entire human race, and pretty much the entire universe around me on a scientifically-philosophical level. Pondering the complexity of it all makes it beautiful to me.

Aaaaaanyways, way off track.

But yes, I agree with you. More and more I'm learning to love my body for exactly what it is. I'm close to goal weight, and when I was 185lbs, I was quite certain that if I could ever achieve the unimaginable and get down to 135lbs, I would most certainly be magically ready to model in a Victoria Secret catalogue. Guess what? That didn't happen. Still have stretch marks, still have various moles and scars, I still have a damn stomach pooch, my boobs are slightly deflated looking, I still break out on my chin. But I have realized that while I do not fit into a certain category of beauty, I have discovered the best version of myself, my healthy active athletic slender self. And while I can't always be 100% satisfied with this, I'm learning to be more and more so.

Whew, sorry for all the philosophical mumbo jumbo...the result of a slight hangover on a Sunday morning, procrastinating from writing a term paper, haha.

Robsia
05-23-2010, 11:35 AM
. . . when I was 185lbs, I was quite certain that if I could ever achieve the unimaginable and get down to 135lbs, I would most certainly be magically ready to model in a Victoria Secret catalogue. Guess what? That didn't happen.

I thought the same as you and boy, was I pissed off when I realised that it wasn't going to happen!!

*sigh*

But I love your comment about discovering the best version of yourself!

I'm still working on that one - still think I can get it better than it is.

PaulaM
05-23-2010, 12:07 PM
I am 55 years old. I quit reading "women's" magazines thirty years ago. Every issue is there to tell you how you are "not enough". How to lose ten pounds. Sex tricks to drive him crazy in bed. (what men's mag do they read to drive us crazy LOL) The majority of men don't have the lack of self confidence that most women seem to. The unattractive fat man thinks he should be able to get Miss America, no problem. I mute all the ads on television. Even though I have 90 lbs to lose, I can honestly say I have never hated myself. I think the media does really awful things to women. I used to have a great figure in my 20s and 30s, and it is undeniable that once I started gaining weight I became invisible to men in the street (I've been with my husband since I was 19 so I wasn't out looking). You really are treated differently when you are great looking compared to what society doesn't find acceptable. Anyway, by the time you reach this age you have lost some wonderful friends/family members to terrible diseases. You do start to realize it's important to take care of your weight for health reasons, but I try to never lose sight of how wonderful it is to be alive, even if I don't look like I did when I was 20.

I think women are harder on other women, and hardest of all on themselves. I found the first post to be very uplifting. We are here to help each other through the bad times, that's what I really love about this site.