Weight Loss Support - He done me wrong- stop me from burying my face in McDonalds




nicolejoy
05-21-2010, 07:09 PM
I just needed to vent, I got my heart broken today.

My dad has been going on and on all month about this trip that he's taking his wife and my 2 adult sisters on... and he's never invited me. I've just ignored it up until this point- it seemed like an event for "his" family- I'm from the first marriage and he tends to do a lot more vacations & things with his new family because they've always been together- I don't quite get it, but I accept that I get left out.

Today I learned everyone was going- grandparents, extended family- and he called it a "family reunion". Really hurtful, I don't want to call Dad out on it and embarrass him, I can't afford to go so I can't invite myself, all I can do is sit and sulk. All of a sudden I'm a surly unwanted teenager again. McDonald's is calling.....

Tell me your tales of heartbreak. Misery loves company!!! :D


chickybird
05-21-2010, 07:12 PM
you poor thing! I'm so sorry you're going through that! I would call and ask him about it, atleast to get it off your chest. I hope you feel better soon!

nicolejoy
05-21-2010, 07:15 PM
Aww, thank you dear! You mean I can't just passive-agressively post things on Facebook about it? :D


bargoo
05-21-2010, 07:19 PM
I would ask him why he didn't invite you. He may mistakenly think that you won't want to go. Go ahead ask him .

ninepaw
05-21-2010, 07:27 PM
Asking does seem like the best way to deal with this. Not all that fun, I'm sure, but at least you'll figure out why he left you out like that. :hug:
You don't really want McDonalds. You think you do, but just imagine how much worse you would probably feel after eating it! Not good... Not good at all. Because then, once you eat it, you're left dealing with both the emotions of what your dad did *and* the feeling of going off plan. Don't do it. Totally not worth it. :hug:

ncuneo
05-21-2010, 07:29 PM
Go for a jog or do equally exhausting cardio. Get that stress out! And remember it's not other people who validate you it's YOU!

wannabeahotmama
05-21-2010, 07:30 PM
That really sucks, sometimes family can really be hurtful. I have people in my family that like to attempt to passive aggressively sabotage my weight loss, they act like they are doing me a favor by cooking my favorite things, fudge and stuffing, when they know I am not in a stage where I can eat those foods and say I will definitely use portion control. I will be honest, I want to be close to my family, but if they are not acting in a way that will help me grow in a positive way they should not be a priority in my life. And then I get depressed and end up eating, and guess what... they win. I know it is not like your story, but the bottom line is that we need to make ourselves a priority. If I were you I would call him out and ask him why I am not part of the family. By not saying anything you are letting him get away with it, he wins you lose.

Beverlyjoy
05-21-2010, 07:51 PM
:hug: I can hear how badly this is making you feel. :hug: I am sorry.

Eating McDonalds will only make everything worse. You think it will soothe you...but, it really will not do that. You have a terrific weight loss going. Don't let someone's thoughtlessness impact all the good things you have going.

VeggieGirl84
05-21-2010, 08:38 PM
:hug:

mandalinn82
05-21-2010, 08:42 PM
I second exhausting cardio. This is EXACTLY why I keep my kickboxing DVDs and Gold's Cardio Gym rhythm boxing Wii game on hand.

I ALWAYS feel less frustrated after sweating it out.

JayEll
05-21-2010, 10:26 PM
Do you mean to tell us you are the only one who is not invited?

That really sucks big time, if true! Have you confirmed this with him? I mean, you really ought to call him out on it. You can't let him just think this is OK with you! And he might have a mistaken idea about this--people do mess up.

All the exercise in the world won't make up for misunderstanding. If it turns out he really did intend to exclude you and didn't think that would be a problem, then at least you can set him straight and go on, knowing where he stands.

Jay

luciddepths
05-21-2010, 11:32 PM
Aww.. man.. that is NOT cool i've been there before. I call them out on it. But then again, i prefer to keep away from family.. its just easier in the long run.


* i agree 100% * with JayEll

*HUG* STAY AWAY FROM MICKEY D's!! You've come way to far !!! and to give in just lets those people win!

chickybird
05-22-2010, 12:20 AM
Trust me, you don't want McDonald's. I went and spit on ALL of their burgers;P
Does that help? :D

nicolejoy
05-22-2010, 07:51 PM
OK, first of all, thank you SO much everyone for your comments!! I have never felt this supported in all my life :) It was so good to hear your feedback, and in some cases laugh because of it!! And thanks for the hugs.

I feel so much better today. I didn't eat McDonald's, I did do cardio. I also had an epiphany- why are my dad's feelings more important than mine? I just want to be the 'good girl', not cause any problems- and where has that gotten me? Stuffing my feelings down with food. I was even considering moving away from my family yesterday- which isn't realistic but I'm sure you all have been there :)

So, I'm going to ask him about it. I'm sure actually talking about it isn't as scary as I make it out to be. And from now on, I'm going to call people out right away when they do something hurtful like that, instead of letting it fester.

LastTrain2Para
05-22-2010, 08:06 PM
Yea hun some Dad's sucks sometimes, i always suggest expressing how you feel in private and try to be emathic and non-aggresive. sometimes people do things without thinking their actions through. My dad is an addict and a compulsive liar but all of my family on his side continues inviting him over and embracing him b/c weed, alcohol, and abusing ur wife is normal behavior lol&smh. But i don't embrace him I let him know he's doing wrong and I dont let that get me down because I'm alive and my lungs, heart, and brain works just fine and that alone is something EVERYONE should feel super blessed about.

Don't poison your body with McDonalds take care of it, don't be afraid to say what YOU HAVE TO SAY, and do everything that you want to do! :)

Hiya
05-23-2010, 08:36 AM
Hey nicholejoy!

I just want to point out that not only have you lost 13 pounds (go!), you have just now come up with one of the best country song titles I've heard in a long time:

"He Done Me Wrong (Stop Me from Burying my Face in McDonalds)."

ElanaRose
05-23-2010, 09:45 AM
Friday night I was supposed to go out for dinner with my boyfriend and his family. I'd told him multiple times that I had a track meet. I left the meet EARLY after running a 6:41 1500M and getting my personal best in shotput. As I'm flying out with my parents to meet him, he starts texting me, and a number of those were what his mother said, which were extremely hostile. His mom told me to go eat with my aunt and mother instead. So my mom was so upset, that's exactly what she did because she didn't want me at her mercy. So now even though my boyfriend is a great guy, the psycho family might be driving a huge wedge between us :(

Eliana
05-23-2010, 09:51 AM
I get this completely. My dad left emotionally when I was 12 which is bigger than when he really left when I was 15. He called me his "favorite daughter" (because I was the only daughter) until I was 18 when he had a new daughter. I rarely get to see my dad as he lives across the country. Last summer we planned a birthday party for him and my brother and I traveled down to be with him. Long story short, the trip did not go as planned and I didn't get to see near as much of him as I had anticipated. He was going to visit with us for four hours when I thought we were getting him for the entire week!! I turned into an emotional wreck and my emotions turned back to that little girl of 12 who'd been left emotionally.

I think when it comes to our dads, girls have a tendency to revert back to whatever age they were when they were first hurt. It's just a theory, but it happens to me when it comes to him. And I'm still resentful of my little sister, which is absolutely absurd as a 35 year old mother!!

nicolejoy
05-24-2010, 06:41 PM
Ha ha thank you Hiya! Where can I submit the song title and earn royalties ??

And Eliana, I agree with you so much! I am a 32 year old mom as well, and nothing gets to me like my dad/ the divorce/ the stepfamily. I'm sorry your trip was so disappointing- so unfair. I would love to take a survey to see how many of us 3FC's have Daddy issues!!

Anyway, this experience taught me to just be more upfront when someone says something hurtful- especially because they probably don't realize they're doing it. Like- "that's great you're going to a family reunion- I'm assuming you're telling me because you want to know if I'm available to join you?" They say depression is anger turned inward, and I have this bizarre cycle of someone making me angry, I get depressed and snuff out the emotion with food. Maybe this strategy will help break that cycle!!!