Weight Loss Support - Husband keeps calling me skinny...feels weird
05-21-2010, 03:41 PM
My DH keeps saying "well you're a skinny person now you can do xyz" or "you're skinny you can wear that" and other skinny comments. It feels so weird. I'm not sure why, it's not like when I was heavy he said "oh you're fat...fill in the blank". But it catches me off gaurd most of the time and I usually respond with "no I'm not".
I think the major thing is that it makes this real. I've actually done it...even though I'm not at my "goal" yet, I know I will get there and along the way there were times when I wasn't sure I'd ever be here. It just doesn't seem real sometimes, I look in the mirror and I'm like "Whoa! Who is that!?" oh yeah, it's me. And being that I still have 10-20lbs to go I can't even comprehend how much better it's going to get. I'm delirously happy about my success most days. Of course the saggy skin bums me out sometimes, but with clothes on no one can tell the difference. My brain is slowly catching up and I know one day all the bad/fat feelings will subside, but man is this journey intense!
05-21-2010, 04:09 PM
05-21-2010, 04:25 PM
I have to say that I'm really glad that you post so much about what you are going through at this point. A lot of the other people I really admire completed their journeys before I found 3fc. Sure, you can read the success story, but that's not really same as seeing what they go through.
I've got a long way to go before I'm this close to goal, but thanks to your honesty, I'm feeling more prepared to handle the emotions that can come along with even a very successful journey. It probably doesn't help you to deal with it, but you really are an amazing inspiration!
05-21-2010, 04:41 PM
I'm so, so, so happy for you!! I know the joy that you are going through and I just can't get enough of listening to the wonderful rewards that people reap from this healthy lifestyle.
And about your DH - he's SO proud of you. Of course he loves you thin, fat and everything in between - but he knows the effort you've put into it, he knows just how pleased you are with the results and he is feeling it.
My DH had a couple of new nicknames for me too - and my favorite was/is - slim. I swear every time I heard him say it, my stomach went all a flutter. It WAS hard to believe that any one could use that term on me - and do so in such a loving manner. Me? Slim? It really DOES take some time to sink in.
Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
05-21-2010, 04:45 PM
I can totally relate to this post so thanks for sharing!
My bf catches me offguard with the same thing saying things like "wow you are becoming tiny" which was NEVER an adjective I would call myself.
He's not a very verbal person generally so any compliments from him are very unexpected :)
05-21-2010, 04:47 PM
That is really cool. I cannot remember being called skinny, anytime since I became an adult. I know it takes some getting used to but how awesome!
05-21-2010, 04:48 PM
Your brain will catch up eventually, but it does take some time. Congratulations on becoming a smaller, healthier version of the amazing woman your husband has always known :hug:
05-21-2010, 04:54 PM
I have to agree so much that the transition is just weird. I haven't been losing very fast (@6 lbs/month) so you think my brain would have stayed up with the process. Most days they have but this week I'm having some difficulty.
Last night a woman I sing with was suprised that I'm still working on losing. You'll note my goal weight is kind of high so even though I'm not that far away, I'm definitely not skinny, wearing size 14 these days.
Today I noted when taking out my garbage that I've eaten 3 "treats" this week. Now I haven't blown my calories, but very suprised that this behaviour is creeping back into my diet after more than a year of following my plan. I've always been allowing myself to eat whatever I want but with a concentration on making healthy choices, and it really got my attention when I saw the trash.
05-21-2010, 05:37 PM
Cary, I think you need to be careful not to think of having a few treats as a behavior creeping back in. If you have not blown your calories, and have still been mindful, I dont see it as a bad thing. We have to be able to treat ourselves, otherwise whats the whole point? You do need to watch and be careful, but I think we all have to be careful not to vilify ourselves for having a treat or two. You have done wonderfully so far, and as your goal approaches, adding in a few extra treats now and then as you get closer might make the maintenance a bit less of a shock and keep you from REALLY letting old bad habits creep in.
05-21-2010, 05:42 PM
As for your husband calling your skinny, Ncuneo, I say GOOD FOR HIM!! A word of praise from the other half, even if it does make us feel kinda uncomfortable and self conscious is a fantastic confidence boost. Mine isnt calling me skinny yet, but the other day, when he asked if he could take me out to breakfast, I told him it was still a bit too soon. Told him I had to be sexy for our anniversary. His response was "And why exactly would you think you ever stopped being sexy?"
Every now and then, they remind us why we married them in the first place.
So I say take what he says, smile, and try to look at yourself through his eyes. Eventually, you will see it too.
05-21-2010, 07:37 PM
It is weird how we see ourselves one way and other people see us differently. I had one guy rave how gorgeous I was yesterday, I did not mention that I lost weight. But I was like WHAT is this guy talking about?!! I guess he had no reason to be lying, but it was shocking.
05-21-2010, 08:15 PM
ncuneo, somebody said that you and I are like the current "freshman class" of maintainers, haha. We're making the transition and still getting used to the whole idea of our new selves. I could have written any number of your threads, lol.
My guy is in Iraq, so he hasn't seen the new "skinny" me, but I have had several people call me skinny and it DOES feel weird. I have a good friend who is overweight but doing awesome in the losing process, we kind of got to know each other because of weight loss, in fact. She calls me a skinny girl, and how she likes to pick out clothes for me because dressing skinny people is fun. Even my always-been-thin friends say I'm so skinny and tiny now.
While I am certainly flattered and glad that people think these things, I still struggle with accepting it. On one hand, I absolutely do not want to be the girl that always says "ugh, I'm so fat!" when she's obviously not. When my still-overweight friend calls me skinny, I'm hesitant to blurt out "no I'm not!" I don't want them to think that I'm fishing for compliments, that I'm denying it because I want them to call me skinny over and over. But the truth is, I still do not see myself as a skinny person. I still identify myself as a chubby girl. I can see the numbers and know the facts (I am 137lbs, I wear size 2-6, my very skinny friend who is my height is 135lbs), so I KNOW that logically I must be "skinny" but I do not feel that I am a skinny person nor do I think I look skinny.
I don't get it, lol. Maybe one day my eyes and brain will catch up with the reflection in the mirror.
05-21-2010, 08:51 PM
Haha mkendrick and ncuneo, I feel like you ladies always start the threads about the emotions/feelings that I didn't even I know were mine lol! I know exactly how you feel ncuneo, and the transition stage is confusing, but mostly EXCITING! I'm beginning to enter the maintenanceish part of the journey and all of your posts are so helpful :)
05-21-2010, 09:48 PM
ncuneo, somebody said that you and I are like the current "freshman class" of maintainers, haha.
That actually means a lot to me:) I'm so flattered!
05-21-2010, 10:02 PM
I'm really feeling this too . . . The boyfriend tells me all the time how tiny I am, and it's strange because he really does generally prefer curvy girls. He said I was making him notice skinny chicks more now that I'm skinny, lol. Almost every day somebody at work says something. It's hard though because I'm down to a size 8, and I thought I would be THIN at a size 8, but I still feel pretty chunky, especially on my stomach (I want a flat stomach so bad). At the same time, I'm terrified of being a size 6, which is what I'll be at goal now probably. A size 6 would make me SMALL. I just don't know how I feel about that. I've never felt small.
And I'm SOOOOO ready to start eating for maintenance and not to lose!!!