100 lb. Club - <3 False starts. [sarcasm] Hello, again.

05-19-2010, 08:55 PM
So here I am. Again. Trying to lose weight after an especially trying time in my life. Staring at my scale morning after morning. The numbers have been creeping up slowly but surely, and up till now I've managed to very carefully ignore the feeling of dread.

Brief weight history:

Fall 2003 - I enter college at 150 lbs. I think I'm fat, gross, and am in the full throes of an eating disorder. Oh, how I long for this weight again :/

Spring 2004 - After one year at college, I have ballooned up to 190 lbs due to lack of exercise, proper nutrition, and sleep.

Spring 2006 - I enter into a relationship with my then boyfriend at a weight of 210 lbs.

Somewhere in between - I peak at my highest weight of 250 lbs.

Spring 2009 - I leave my boyfriend due to his infidelity. Weight one week before leaving him is 248 lbs. Weight one week after leaving him is 225 lbs. I lost 20 lbs in two weeks due to not eating b/c of depression. I start dating my best friend shortly thereafter and fall in love and ignore my weight.

Spring 2010 - Specifically two days ago, I hit my highest weight since leaving my ex of 240 lbs and realize what I've been doing for an entire year :(

So now I'm depressed and trying desperately to stay positive. I've started a new blog, one that I will use honestly to notate my progress.

*sigh* So I'm back. Again. Hello, everyone.

05-19-2010, 09:12 PM
Welcome back.
I'm sorry to hear about the things that are going on in your life. The important thing is that you are getting yourself together and getting a NEW start :hug:

I'm going to bookmark your blog!

Arctic Mama
05-19-2010, 09:14 PM
I wish you the best in gaining control of your weight and control of your life :)

05-19-2010, 09:42 PM
Welcome back :)

05-19-2010, 09:50 PM
Thanks, everyone! I really want this time to be the "real" one, you know? I can do this... *puffs herself up*

05-19-2010, 09:55 PM
Thanks, everyone! I really want this time to be the "real" one, you know? I can do this... *puffs herself up*

Well there's absolutely no reason in the world why this can't be *the real one*, no reason what so ever. It IS up to you. It's your choice. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. You've got the ability to lose each and every excess pound on you. So yes - of COURSE - allow this to be your time. Make darn certain of it!

I look forward to hearing of your growth and progress. :)

05-19-2010, 10:06 PM
Welcome back! Your story sounds a lot like mine... and I'm sorry to read this. But like InControl2Day said, you have to see this as a new start. This time is the one, and you have a lot of support here to help you through the rough patches where you would usually give up.

I fell off the wagon a month ago, after I went on vacation to California. I need to put myself in "thinking-thin"-mode again. I'm sure we can all really do it if we put our minds to it!
Good luck on your journey! I'll be checking out your blog as well!

05-19-2010, 10:18 PM
Knowing is the first step! And facing the scale, although difficult, is probably a good reality check. You sound ready to me! Looking forward to reading about your progress :)

05-19-2010, 10:20 PM

I give you kuddos for catching it now instead of another 40, 50, or more pounds down the road!!

I just came back as well. I lost 30 pounds last summer and just gained back about 45. I'm having a hard time fully committing this time because I'm nervous about it just being another false start. But I've got to do this, I need to do this. Just remember, we're here anytime you need a pat on the back, hug or just an ear to listen.

05-20-2010, 01:41 AM
welcome back!

I understand completely! Been there, done that. Lost 40 in 2001, gained back 55. Lost 45 in 2004, gained back 50. Lost 38 in 2008, gained back 43. But, this time, I'm learning to deal with life as a thin person..... The word diet has been stricken from my vocabulary.


05-20-2010, 01:56 AM
I know how you feel about this time being the *real" one. I've had so many false starts myself, and this time I'm determined to get it right. Good luck to you! This definitely can be the real deal, you just need to stay positive and stick to it!

05-20-2010, 02:09 AM
Welcome! Good Luck! You have lots of Support Here!

05-20-2010, 01:02 PM
Welcome back - sounds like you have been through a bit of journey but back where you need to be :)