100 lb. Club - I'm baaaccck.for good.




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nik1305
05-16-2010, 07:34 PM
Ok, so Last spring/summer I was on a weight loss mission. I was working out, eating super healthy, etc. My boyfriend, who is in the navy, was deployed and I wanted to surprise him and look super good for when he came back. Well, after he returned home... I thought I could maintain and blah blah blah.. I've gained 30 lbs.

A few weeks ago I got dizzy out of the blue, just constant dizziness. So after a couple days of this I finally went to the dr... I don't have health insurance so I was kind of dreading going. Anywho. I got an appointment with a Dr who I had never seen before. I get there he checks my ears, etc. Says I have vertigo, gives me a prescription says everything else looks good. Then he says, "yeah, everything looks good except your weight. There is nothing normal about that. You need to do something about that. It's just not normal" ugh. Then he goes on to say "you eat too much, you need to eat only 1200 calories a day." I could have died. I was so embarassed, ashamed, you name it. I do not talk to anyone about my weight.. It's just one of those things for me, that is just mortifying to talk about. So for this man, to just say those things to me... It just broke me. I was trying so hard not to start crying in front of this Dr. I just nodded my head and got out of there ASAP. This happened a few weeks ago and I still keep replaying it over and over. I know I shouldn't dwell on it. I know i need to lose weight. I'm trying. I've been trying. Sometimes when I think about it I get so freaking angry, like who the **** does he think he is talking to me that way? I get it, he is a Dr, but I am PERSON. WITH FEELINGS. Maybe I am over reacting. Who knows. I just keep thinking about it. I felt I needed to share this, so maybe I can get past it, and move on.. and lose weight, and get healthier :)


paris81
05-16-2010, 07:43 PM
It sounds like he was pretty insensitve towards you, I think you have every reason to be upset. Of course, it's his job to talk to you about health issues, and weight is a part of that, but there's no need to talk about normal vs. not--that just makes you feel like a freak.

And it turns out, you're not alone at all!

Also, I think that this whole 1200 calorie suggestion he gave you was not very productive or realistic. If he doesn't know anything about how to deal with weight and losing weight, he should refer you to someone who does, not just say "you eat too much, you need to eat only 1200 calories a day"

Anyway, you have a right to feel bad and angry, but it's also not useful to dwell on it--maybe you can use this frustration productively and put some major engery into working out and meal planning!

Good luck!

slimmingsi
05-16-2010, 07:44 PM
Drs are the worst. They spend all their time acting essentially as mechanics looking at a machine. It's why they appear to not be embarrased by the body to them it's just that a body they look at it and try to fix it. Bed side manner is apparently something that disappeared with the introduction electronic record keeping.


Vladadog
05-16-2010, 08:20 PM
Lousy interpersonal skills - check (and you know, you can get thin but i bet he'll always have the bedside manner of a rock...)

Inaccurate info - check (1200 calories is too little for someone 5' 7", at least for a daily goal to start with (and to maintain with later))

Needing reality check - check (how can he say your weight isn't "normal"? Has he looked around recently? Seen any media reports about the growing obesity epidemic in first world countries? Being fat is all too normal unfortunately. It's not healthy. It's not ideal. But it is very normal.)

You never have to go back to this doctor so just put him in your past and move forward. Instead, use your anger to kick start yourself in to a healthier way of eating!

Lori Bell
05-16-2010, 09:58 PM
WELLLLLLL...he might have been a jerk, and not very warm and fuzzy, BUUUUT...he did get his point across loud and clear! You're back, and that's GREAT! :D

I have to wonder if he didn't say anything, or tip-toed around your weight and sugar coated things if you would be back on the wagon? I guess what I'm saying is, maybe he tried it the nicey-nice way 100 times and no one took him seriously, so he tried a different approach and pissed the **** out of people enough to do something about it! ;)

Oh, and by the way I lost 190 pounds eating 1200 calories a day for most days, and I feel great. But then again I only ate filling, highly nutritious delicious food. But it's not for everyone I suppose.

bex
05-16-2010, 10:02 PM
Oh yea didn't you know fat people dont have feelings? *end sarcasm* GR!
He could have been a bit more tactful!

But welcome back anyway and good luck on your journey! xx

ubergirl
05-16-2010, 10:31 PM
If you walked into the doctor's office for vertigo and he happened to notice skin cancer, you would EXPECT him to say something if he noticed it-- or cancer, or whatever. You wouldn't feel embarrassed, you would feel grateful.

But, when it comes to the subject of obesity, which is clearly a MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEM many people get embarrassed and upset or offended when the doctor mentions it. I know this because I'm a women's health care provider. I take care of women, many of whom are obese, and I can tell you that health care providers are constantly dancing around the subject of obesity-- do you EXPLAIN to someone that it is difficult or impossible to do a certain exam because of the person's weight? If you do, it comes off as rude and judgmental. But if you say nothing, that's not really honest either. Take a simple thing like a pap test-- some women are so obese that it's really hard/almost impossible to do the test. It's also super uncomfortable for the woman. The obese woman, who is often super-embarrassed and usually worried that it's due to weight will often make comments about how it's hard to get a pap for various reasons, without naming the obvious one: obesity. The provider usually doesn't say anything either-- I mean, what are you going to say? But the truth is, the woman has a medical disorder, obesity, that has an effect on her care and her overall health. The provider should be able to discuss it freely with the woman. The woman should not feel ashamed or embarrassed to discuss it with her health care provider. That would be a perfect world.

Believe it or not, women used to die of breast cancer right and left because many male doctors never even bothered to examine women's breasts because it was considered embarrassing. Fortunately, as a society, we got over that. Heck, back in day, male gynecologists did not LOOK at women's private parts when they were doing exams, due to modesty. Would you really want your doctor not to look at you while doing a gyn exam??? How the heck would they know if something was wrong....??

Nik-- I'm not saying this to criticize you, and it definitely sounds like the doctor was lacking in tact and needed to find a nicer way to say it, but at the same time, obesity is turning into a major health problem in this country, and we are going to have to learn to look at it and talk about it without shame or embarrassment if we ever hope to start fixing it.

toomuchmoxie
05-16-2010, 10:51 PM
Nik - Not all doctors are like this. This dude was insensitive. Was he right to mention the weight, yeah, it's an issue. But he could have said.. how do you feel about your weight? And let YOU open the door.

I am very lucky in that I have a doctor who is very supportive and great. I had lost almost 100 pounds and gained 50 of it back after I was laid off and as a result from a drug interaction.

I was in his office sobbing about being a big giant fattie again and he (who is very fit and a harvard med school grad by the way) said.. look, your blood pressure is good, your cholesterol is good. You just need to start with small steps again, and if you want any referrals to a nutritionist or whatever, let me know.

Honestly, I do best when I feel supported, understood and safe. I don't react well when people lecture me, either at the doctor's office or on this board.

Take care of yourself, and don't let this guy send you into a tailspin. There are websites to find supportive doctors. I hope you feel better!

MissKoo
05-16-2010, 10:52 PM
I'm so sorry you had a negative experience with your doctor but I am glad you're here. Yes, doc told you the truth in that your weight is too high and is unhealthy. Okay, he had his say. Your appointment with him is over and it is time to start your weightloss journey! You were right when you said you need to move past this. Just a bump in the road. :hug:

There are so many different eating plans and fitness methods. I don't know what you have tried in the past or how much you know about healthy eating but there is SO MUCH good info on these boards! Find a plan that appeals to you and work it!

Beverlyjoy
05-17-2010, 06:45 AM
Ouch - that stung - those words from the doctor. No tact.

I am so, so glad you are here again!! Welcome!

Shmead
05-17-2010, 07:51 AM
Oh, and by the way I lost 190 pounds eating 1200 calories a day for most days, and I feel great. But then again I only ate filling, highly nutritious delicious food. But it's not for everyone I suppose.

Right, but what if you could have lost those same 190 pounds at the exact same rate at 1500 calories a day? I really think it's worth experimenting to see how much one can eat and still lose 2 lbs/1% a week, since the number seems to vary from person to person. There's no virtue in suffering in and of itself.

ETA: I feel pretty strongly about this because my mother put me on 900-1200 calorie diets for most of my youth, and I was always miserable--not hungry, but short tempered, bad memory, no attention span and exhausted. In my mom's mind, you can't lose weight if you don't feel like that. It's the pain that means it's working, and eating above 1200 calories means you are hopelessly weak and self-indulgent. You're spoiling your body by giving it food. She simply can't believe I'm eating 1800 calories a day and losing 2 lbs a week (though, I must admit, I am busting my butt exercising).

findingfawn
05-17-2010, 08:07 AM
Welcome back. The dr. may have been harsh, but I love what LoriBell and ubergirl had to say.. seriously, if it weren't for his harsh words would you be here on the board today?

I have learned one of the biggest things for me is to make sure I am on this board every single day! So, stick around :)

Eliana
05-17-2010, 08:25 AM
I've been doing this on 1200-1500 calories, usually 1200. No problem. ;) It's ROUGH at first, let me be clear. I wanted to eat my arm the first three weeks. :D But my arm is still there...though there is less of it. :rofl:

ledom
05-17-2010, 08:33 AM
So sorry that you were embarrassed. I have to say though that my Dr. told me nicely and I STILL felt humiliated. It is the elephant in the room (I didn't say I'M the elephant in the room ;-)), I don't want anyone to notice it and I sure don't want anyone to mention it. I am in my 50s and no one teases me anymore about a lifelong issue with weight but I still am sensitive when anyone, including my Dr. mentions it. In my opinion there is no nice way to talk about it. So try not to be humiliated, try to take it for what it is, a fact of life.

On the 1200 calories a day. I recently decided to take another stab at losing weight and the first thing I did was come over to 3fc for some motivation. I have always thought that 1200 calories was too low too. But I am changing my mind. A little on my weight loss history, it is a long one. I have succeeded in losing large amounts of weight but have never maintained. Starting this time, I have had opportunity to look back over this history and try to analyze those experiences. The last time time I made a major dent in losing I hopped on the popular, at that time, Body for Life plan. Six small meals a day, heavy duty weight lifting and cardio. I learned things from that method but I have had some major regrets too. I pretty much brought on arthritis in my knees by doing squats and lunges with heavy weights. I undid a lot of hard work with the "free day" concept. But hindsight is 20/20 - what I regret is that I just fell into something irregardless of my own personal body, my needs, my age etc.

At any rate, reading here at 3fc I kept reading Lori Bell's posts. I mean I read her whole 3fc journey. So much of what she said made sense. So for about the last month I have been eating 1200 calories a day for 5 days a week. You know, at some meals I am not even hungry and make myself eat just because it is time. Another thing that has worked for ME (I live alone so this is possible) is to eat the same 3 meals everyday - I know at some point I will want to mix it up, but right now it's easy to shop, easy to prepare, and I don't really have to spend excessive time counting calories and thinking about food. It is when I start thinking about food that I get into trouble. On Fri. - Sat. I generally have some social occasions and I lighten up a little. I eat some different foods and a few more calories. Last weekend I was amazed that I wanted to start back on my 1200 weekday diet a day early.

Here is what I eat. For breakfast I have oatmeal w/ some berries and cottage cheese - about 250 calories. For lunch I have a huge salad. I put a LOT of lettuce and a lot of crunchy vegetables like red peppers, broccoli, carrots, a chopped apple, 1 T each of feta, walnuts, ranch dressing, and a serving of deli turkey and then I sprinkle red wine vinegar, salt and pepper. It takes a good 30 minutes to eat and I find that to be important that it is high in volume and takes a long time to eat while still being low calorie. For supper I have this chocolate/walnut protein pancake spread w/ 1 T almond butter and SF syrup. It is very tasty and nutritious and has close to 500 calories so that it feels like a big feed. Around bed time I have 100 cal. bag of popcorn.

And it is working! The hardest part for me so far was just getting started. Once I got into it and stopped thinking about it and was able to take a bit more casual attitude about how much weight I need to lose and how fast I will be able to lose it I began to start feeling comfortable and confident with my choice. Also, it is open to reevaluation as I see fit.

If you are eating the right foods, 1200 calories a day isn't so bad. And actually I am glad to hear your Dr. throw out that number because it reinforces that it can be healthy. A dear friend of mine just had lap band surgery at her Drs. recommendation. It was necessary due to diabetes. She has lost 55 lbs. since the first of the year. You know the reason is because she is eating much fewer calories. People eat low calorie all the time with no ill effect. I think a lot of it boils down to habit.

At any rate, good luck to you and good luck with your vertigo, I know that can be quite debilitating.

Lori Bell
05-17-2010, 09:26 AM
Right, but what if you could have lost those same 190 pounds at the exact same rate at 1500 calories a day? I really think it's worth experimenting to see how much one can eat and still lose 2 lbs/1% a week, since the number seems to vary from person to person. There's no virtue in suffering in and of itself.

ETA: I feel pretty strongly about this because my mother put me on 900-1200 calorie diets for most of my youth, and I was always miserable--not hungry, but short tempered, bad memory, no attention span and exhausted. In my mom's mind, you can't lose weight if you don't feel like that. It's the pain that means it's working, and eating above 1200 calories means you are hopelessly weak and self-indulgent. You're spoiling your body by giving it food. She simply can't believe I'm eating 1800 calories a day and losing 2 lbs a week (though, I must admit, I am busting my butt exercising).


Well, since this is the most successful I have ever been at weight loss, and now maintaince, I don't believe I would change a thing. I think for me, my whole life I always thought I had to have more, More, MORE. I became super-morbidly obese because I thought I needed MORE. When I finally realized that I didn't need the max, but could easily live with the minimum did things begin to click. When I filled the void with things other than food, I didn't NEED to eat as much.

I also don't honesty think I would have lost at the same rate on 1500 every day....but who knows. I don't know, it really is a very personal thing. I don't care how many calories a person eats, (as long as they are being medically supervised), I just want them to stick to it and not cry failure at the first (or 2nd or 3rd) slip. The only reason I even brought it up was because a few posters were telling the OP that her Doc was basically a quack for even suggesting such a thing...(not in those exact words).

The real key is not the calories in or the calories out, it's the perseverance a person has. Stick to it, and the weight will come off. The less slips the faster it works. The more slips the slower it works...but just keep getting back up....crawl if you have to, just keep going.

ubergirl
05-17-2010, 09:56 AM
So sorry that you were embarrassed. I have to say though that my Dr. told me nicely and I STILL felt humiliated. It is the elephant in the room (I didn't say I'M the elephant in the room ;-)), I don't want anyone to notice it and I sure don't want anyone to mention it. I am in my 50s and no one teases me anymore about a lifelong issue with weight but I still am sensitive when anyone, including my Dr. mentions it. In my opinion there is no nice way to talk about it. So try not to be humiliated, try to take it for what it is, a fact of life.

Thanks ledom. You said this better than me. Since I'm obese and a health care provider, I TOTALLY know that it is the elephant in the room. I know it and the obese woman knows it.

And (not to toot my own horn) I'm WAY more tactful than Nik's doctor. But I DO try to bring it up when the time is right.

Bottom line-- there are things we hate talking about: fat, sexually transmitted diseases... there are things we are getting better about talking about, like depression and psych issues, and there are things we feel comfortable talking about, like cancer. The easy health issues to discuss are the ones where the patient feels like it's nobody's fault. It just happened, like cancer. The hard ones are the "self-inflicted" ones, like obesity. But obesity is caused by a complex combination of environment, genes, and behavior and it isn't anyone's "fault" either. So we need to learn to talk about it.

Shmead
05-17-2010, 07:48 PM
Well, since this is the most successful I have ever been at weight loss, and now maintaince, I don't believe I would change a thing. I think for me, my whole life I always thought I had to have more, More, MORE. I became super-morbidly obese because I thought I needed MORE. When I finally realized that I didn't need the max, but could easily live with the minimum did things begin to click. When I filled the void with things other than food, I didn't NEED to eat as much.


Everyone is different, but for me, severe calorie restriction was part of the MORE MORE MORE pattern: when I was eating, I would think "if a small is good, a large is better" and when I was dieting, I would think "if some calorie restriction is good, more is better". Learning moderation continues to be a struggle for me.

But there are many, many ways to do this right. The best thing about this site is that it gives people access to all those different ways.

nik1305
05-17-2010, 08:11 PM
Wow! You guys have no idea how grateful I am for your responses. I have tried eating 1200 calories a day. It's hard. I usually aim for 1300-1600. I also know that I it would be easier to eat less if I ate better, more filling foods. I was already "back on the wagon" before I went to see the doctor, but he just added to my motivation.. So I guess that's the only positive thing that came out of the experience.

I need to learn how to plan my meals. I am so not a planner. I hate planning anything lol, but I know to succeed, and maintain, I will need to plan. I think for so long I was in this downward spiral(even before the doctor) that I just didn't have the motivation. I am slowly getting more and more motivated. Being on here helps so much. I do agree with those of you who were saying that we need to overcome the 'fear' of talking about obesity. It would be so much more beneficial to everyone. I appreciate everyone's thoughts and input. I guess my next step is to do some researching and find some wholesome foods that I enjoy, and meals that I will actually cook.