Weight Loss Support - Does everyone think your obsessive?




caliyah
05-16-2010, 07:32 AM
I always talk about weight loss to my close friends and family -- I talk about low calories, healthy foods, NSVs...I talk about how motivated I am by workouts and how I always want to push myself harder and how I want to run longer or how my favorite show is the Biggest Loser. and I think they have had enough of it. I'm so thankful I have these forums because I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm over the top. My cousin thinks I'm 'skinny' now according to her and is shocked I would continue to lose weight even though I know I am far from my goal. Anyway I"m trying to channel all that energy I have towards the forums! I'm so glad to have found 3FC

Just wanted to share...weight loss feels so great it's great 2 have a place 2 share the small and big victories without people thinking I'm crazy


Shmead
05-16-2010, 08:11 AM
I always suspect people think I am boring, so I try really hard not to go on about it: if they could hear the constant monologue in my head, then they would think I was obsessive.

Of course, this has its downside: several women at work were complimenting me, and I said "I am not going to lie, it's been a rough process in a lot of ways" and one woman, a pretty good friend, says "It hasn't seemed that hard" and in my head I was like "where are you at 4:30 in the morning!". Apparently not whining every day= must be easy.

I worry about my own obsession a bit, but you know, I was obsessed with being fat, too: then, my misery, my shame and my anger dominated my internal monologue. I like this obsession better!

Heather
05-16-2010, 08:34 AM
I think obsessive is a tough word. We use it around here a lot, but I'm not sure it's always appropriate. If by obsessive we mean that our thoughts and behaviors are dominated by issues around weight loss, then that seems accurate, and reasonable.

But I think we often mean obsessive as a disordered state, as in obsessive compulsive disorder. In that situation, a person's obsession can create a disorder, because it prevents the person from being able to live their life -- a main criteria for something to be considered a disorder!

So, if you're thinking about something all the time and it ends up making you MORE able to lead the life you want, it might be an obsession, in a good way, rather than disordered, or negative.

Now, as to whether our friends, family and colleagues want to HEAR about these thoughts all the time... perhaps not. And that's what 3fc is for! :)


rockinrobin
05-16-2010, 08:47 AM
The people around me know that I am not obsessed with healthy eating, but that I am DEVOTED to it. Because like Heather mentioned, obsessed is not usually deemed as a good thing. When you're obsessed with something, it becomes detrimental to your health and takes away from other aspects of your life. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle, being committed, dedicated and devoted to it, is just the opposite. It ENRICHES your life.

That being said, I don't speak about calories, portions, avoiding the *fattening* foods, exercise and all that stuff to my friends. To them it IS boring. They know about it only because they have witnessed my transformation. You can't lose 165 lbs without people noticing a change, not only in your appearance, but in your habits.

Thankfully I do all of my *talking* about weight loss/maintenance here at 3FC.

As far as people telling you that you're too skinny and you should ease up and all that stuff - ignore it, ignore it, ignore it. I find when people give advice such as that, it's because they are uncomfortable with how they conduct THEIR lives and their food intake/activity level.

Keep on doing what you're doing. There is no better gift that you can give yourself (& your family) then the gift of good health. It will increase the quality (& hopefully longevity) of your life.

Eliana
05-16-2010, 09:00 AM
I'm struggling with this right now. I don't so much talk about diet. That's boring even to me. ;) But I do tend to go on about exercise. That's what my life is about right now. It's my main interest. It's like asking a pilot to please stop talking about his flights because it's boring. But I can tell that people do not want to hear about the gym at all. I think it's because they're not doing it themselves and I make them feel guilty. I'm not an exercise crusader so I really do try to back off, but I often have to bite my tongue.

Basically, I need to get a life so I have SOMETHING else to talk about. :dizzy:

GlamourGirl827
05-16-2010, 09:11 AM
LOL! I was just thinking this last night while talking to my husband. I am due any day now, and I have already cleaned out the fridge and cabinets and have started healthy shopping again. My poor husband, I think loves when I'm pregnant because I buy a lot of junk and cook such "good" (i.e. unhealthy but of course tasty) dinners.
But I've got everything ready to go for when I get home from the hospital. I keep talking about how excited I am to get back on ww and exercise. I also started planning our dinners so they are with in my points, and well, I think I am talking about it too much!
I told him that its like looking forward to Christmas morning for a kid, which might sound crazy, but truthfully, nothing feels as great as getting up on a weight in day and seeing that scale go down. I love watching my clothing sizes get smaller and looking and feeling better. It just makes me so happy, I can't help but want to think about it (and talk about it) a little too much.

At least we do have this site, so when I see my husbands eyes start to glaze over, I can come on here and post, or sometimes I just read other people's posts. I suppose if thinking and talking about weight lose actually made you miserable because it was more like a ball and chain rather than something that was uplifting, then I would think its a unheathly obsession, but as long as it makes you happy and motivated, I think its a good thing!! :)

caryesings
05-16-2010, 09:22 AM
I recently had a conversation with my life-long friend where I confessed that when she stayed with me for a vacation a few years ago, I was finding her behaviour annoying. It seemed like every waking minute she was thinking about her physical health. From always making healthy food choices (I remember we stopped at a gas station while on a road trip and she was checking out the amount of carbs on the bottle of plain milk she was thinking of getting as a snack), stretches whenever we were watching TV/chatting, insisting I find a drinking fountain to refill her water bottle as soon as it was empty...

But when it came time to create my weight loss plan, I decided I needed her attitude because while I was a 265 lb. marshmallow, she was an atheletic, fit woman who radiated energy.

So I confessed last week that while I didn't look like her yet, I was definitely thinking like her now.

However, remembering how wearing being with her was I really try not to talk about any of my healthy behaviours unless asked.

Tamlesmad
05-16-2010, 09:23 AM
Caliyah,
I always talk about food and working out because the majority of the people I'm around are so health conscious and maintainers. I'm 5'9 and you're 5'8, but at our heights, people think we can handle a lot of weight because we have places to spread it around. It might not look bad to everyone else on our outside appearance, but I know it was eating me. (no pun intended)

I'm now working on not discussing weight and work outs.

Trinity1004
05-16-2010, 09:40 AM
My sister thinks I'm obsessed and annoying when it come to my weight loss. The hardest part of dieting is family get togethers, when one comes around I am extra careful with my calorie intake and portions because I know how very easy it is to lose control when everyone else is stuffing their faces! This past Friday was my dad's birthday and we had a party for him. When it came to cake and icecream I asked for a serving a bit smaller then what my kids were having. My sister rolled her eyes at me and sighed. Maybe she is upset she doesn't have the willpower to diet herself right now. She is about 60 pounds bigger then me at this point. And I'd like to add that I am sorry to all you ladies who have posted in the past about not being able to eat alot of sweets or turning away things after one bite because it was to much sugar, I have always made fun of you because I am Queen Sweet Tooth and NEVER thought anything could be to sweet to turn away from! WRONG! The birthday cake was so sweet I thought I was going to be sick! A huge step for me, I added that to my NSV list lol ;) Anywho, I found this quote that I repeat to myself when the eyes start rolling or comments are made..."Obessed is merely a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated." LOVE IT! ;)

rockstar87
05-16-2010, 10:04 AM
In a word, yes. Not all of my friends, but some definitely think I'm obsessive. It's actually a few of the girls I lived with last year. They just don't get why you would put that much effort into something like eating or working out. And the thing is...I really don't! I used to count calories fairly religiously, but I've relaxed since then and the weight's been coming off still. I'm consistent with my eating and I eat as cleanly and as many whole foods as I can. But to them that is excessive. They tease me for being the only one in the house for not having any food anybody else wants to eat (like chocolate, chips, cookies,) and for how much of a priority I give exercise. One of my previous roommates saw my current roommate and asked if I was still on my "crazy diet". I mean, come on people, that makes it sound like I'm eating nothing but cabbage soup. Not eating crap and being aware of your calories is a crazy diet?

It just really bugs me. It makes me sound so irrational because I want to be at a reasonable weight. When a few of them asked me what my goal weight was and I told them (when I was about 185) they said "that is waaaaaaaaay too skinny for you". Well, I disagree. Stop asking me questions if you just want to tell me how wrong I am or that I'm "crazy" for putting this much attention into anything. None of them are skinny. All of them have expressed the desire to lose a few pounds, but none of them have stuck with anything long enough for it to work. If you want to lose weight and ask me how I'm doing it, be prepared for the answer. It's not easy. It's not overly difficult, but it definitely takes commitment to whatever program you are following.

Lol, okay sorry, rant over. The thread title just hit a nerve because it frustrates me to no end.

And as a side note, sometimes I do think I talk about it too much, but my mum and my sister always indulge me when I talk about it, or even stimulate the conversation and ask me questions. I know it can get a little all-consuming sometimes, but I think that's just my personality. I (usually) only talk about it if people ask me directly or if it comes up in conversation.

Eliana
05-16-2010, 10:07 AM
Trinity, I made brownies yesterday for my kids' piano recital. I haven't made brownies in a VERY long time. The edges were burned so I had to taste them. (Really I did, I'm not being cute. ;) I wasn't going to serve them if they were bad.) They were awful!! But I thought perhaps it was my taste buds. LOL! I decided they were good enough, and heck, they weren't tempting me at all. :rofl:

I had several compliments on my brownies! :rofl:

PeanutsMom704
05-16-2010, 10:35 AM
I don't talk too much about diet or exercise. I mean, in passing, I might mention that I want to schedule something for after I work out or something like that. Or if someone asks me about how I've lost weight, I'll give a little bit of detail (but then again, I'm a boring "eat less, move more" person so most people don't want to hear that! lol!).

But mostly, I keep my "obsessing" for 3fc, where I can share with people who consider this a healthy way of living that they like to discuss.

rockinrobin
05-16-2010, 11:53 AM
The people around me know that I am not obsessed with healthy eating, but that I am DEVOTED to it.

I take this back, somewhat. I don't believe I'm obsessed, I believe that I am devoted. But my friends, they most likely DO think that I'm *obsessed*, which is a little sad. I am thoroughly devoted to this healthy lifestyle, because that's what it takes to make it work. And I don't think *most* people are aware of that.

Eating well does not come naturally to me. So it DOES take thought, pre-planning and a continuous, conscientious effort. Many people don't think that it is worthy of that effort, like it's some frivolous thing that I'm *wasting* my time with, but no - any time, energy and effort put forth to keeping me at a healthy weight is not frivolous. It is all time very well spent and EXTREMELY productive. Ha, I think of all the time I used to spend wishing, longing and praying to be slim. THAT was a waste of time.

duckyyellowfeet
05-16-2010, 02:23 PM
I tend to make it a point to avoid talking about everything healthy related unless someone mentions it or the topic naturally comes up in conversation.

I really don't want to be that girl who is always mentioning how many calories are in a restaurant meal or makes everyone who is eating the birthday cake self-conscious. I'll just bring a lunch with me if I need to, quietly read the nutrition information or pass up sweets.

Really, I believe this is my journey. And while I'm more than willing to offer advice, I don't want it to be unsolicited.

mom4life
05-16-2010, 03:11 PM
OMG'osh yes! I've had people (friends) ask me "Don't you ever take a break and enjoy food?" I always tell them that I do but I make sure I can afford the calories at the end of the day or if I plan to have something (dessert) during the day I have to make sure I can count it and then plan the rest of my meal for the day so I don't mess up by eating too much.
Some people have said that if they were in my shoes they'd enjoy their pregnancies rather then think about weight gain "The weight will come off after the baby anyways," I know this is true but I want to make sure I don't gain too much weight. I don't want to bank on a theory that I'll only gain what I need to, I know myself.
Anyways for some reason weight loss is always a subject my friends want to talk about lately so I'm not alone. LOL

caliyah
05-16-2010, 04:14 PM
thanks ladies! it's been a bit tough 2 hold in my excitement --- but thankfully i've inspired a lot of my relatives to take up healthy eating so there have been some positive benefits = )

Cglasscock1
05-16-2010, 04:45 PM
I don't talk about my weight loss efforts unless someone else asks me about it and then I keep it very brief. I think people are very defensive about their own eating and exercise (or lack of) habits and may feel threatened in some strange way when someone else is obviously making healthy changes. They know how much staying power it requires to lose only 5 pounds and may feel awed by someone losing a larger amount. I know I used to feel inadequate around people who were slim and confident. What do they have that I don't have, I wondered. I now know what that something is: a plan and stick -to -it-ness! So simple yet so hard.

saef
05-16-2010, 07:39 PM
Yes, but that's because they know me.

And yes, I think it, too, because I know myself, and it's something that I have to be very, very, oh so careful about, because of my past behaviors & the way my mind works sometimes.

I'm a person who once had an eating disorder, and exhibited obsessive/compulsive behaviors around food & exercise, and I always have to watch myself. When I get too set in my routines, and feel uneasy at their possible disruption, or in my eating habits & choices, I have to make a conscious effort to change things up, to try something new. I have to shake my head hard, slap my own face, in effect, and say, "Ummm, that is an example of irrational thinking" or "You are being too rigid" or "Do it differently, just this once" or "Why not say 'yes'? What is so awful if you don't hew to your routine?"

For example: Right now I'm talking myself through what's going to happen on Thursday at work. We're going to order Chinese food for lunch. I got to pick the place, and it's one with excellent produce, which they don't overcook, and brown rice. I know its menu thoroughly. I know the healthy options. But I am still freaked out about this. Because I am so used to getting my salad down at the in-house cafeteria salad bar.

I am talking to myself reassuringly about this every day, that I can do this, that it will be okay, that I've done this in the past & it was okay.

The other thing I've had to learn is that the opposite of obsessing & controlling is not giving up entirely or eating whatever I want, whenever I want. No. It's actually moderation & flexibility.

So yeah, I am actually devastated whenever someone calls me "obsessed," because I work so hard at trying to keep it in check. I have a polite answer, but when I'm off alone, I curl into a fetal position practically & feel awful & think that I am so crazy, everyone can see that I'm obviously crazy. Well, I suppose that's okay, as long as they still like me. And as long as I keep fighting the good fight. Which includes not quitting in disgust & going to the opposite extreme, of saying since I can't find moderation, I should never try to be healthy at all.

Cali Doll
05-16-2010, 08:31 PM
I probably am obsessive. I have an extremely obsessive personality. I'm usually always thinking about clothing sizes, weight vs height and calories.

I do try very hard to not talk about it, though. At the beginning of my journey I couldn't hold in my excitement and I told my friends about all of my weight-loss mini-milestones. Then I realized they probably don't care as much as I do...and I stopped talking about it.

I also do not want to be the person who tries to regulate what other people eat. I do NOT want anyone to think they shouldn't eat this or that around me. Plus, I indulge quite frequently anyway. I just hold myself accountable for everything...unlike pre-lifestyle change where I'd eat with reckless abandon.

Anyway, yeah, I'm obsessive I'm sure. If not this, it would be something else. ;-)

Nada
05-17-2010, 11:49 AM
My sisters think I am obsessive about exercise and they don't know the HALF of what I do. I'm hiding my running journal when they are around--don't need any more grief. But when I talk to "real" runners I can see I'm just a slacker. :)

Obsessive in common conversation (not psychiatric definition) is relative. It just means you're making me feel bad, 'cause I'm not doing as much as you are.