General chatter - "Give A Man All The SEX...."




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EZMONEY
05-14-2010, 09:34 PM
"Give a man all the sex he wants and everything else will fall into place"....

How does that make all you ladies feel? ;)

My brother in law and I heard a lady say this today (by way of a letter) on Dr. Laura on our drive home from work.

The lady said her mom gave her that advice on her wedding day. She said she failed at times to do it but she also said LIFE seems so much better when she does what her mom had said.

being a man I can honestly say...when my wife and I have :love: date night :love: she owns me...she knows it...I know it!

I have seen over the years how those questions come up...you know the ones ;)...the "what do you think about (fill in the blank)...."

You gals never care what we think....;)

but we all know it is much better all the way around for us guys to think that you women do care what we think....

So...what do you think?

Good advice or not?


ANewCreation
05-14-2010, 09:47 PM
Yep, it is true. And by the way, I think most women really do care what guys think. We may not understand why guys think the way they do but we care... ;)

bex
05-14-2010, 11:37 PM
Haha its so true.


lizziep
05-15-2010, 02:44 AM
i don't like it. it feels like she is suggesting that if you give a man sex you can control or manipulate him. and while for some men that might be true, i would like to think that a committed relationship is about more then that.

kaplods
05-15-2010, 11:16 AM
Hubby and I have a great relationship, but it's a lot of work, and I think sex has little to do with it (oh, it's in the mix, it's just not the foremost ingredient).

I knew marriage was going to be a challenge, because I'm a loner at heart. I have to consciously work at social behavior to avoid being a hermit. 3FC has both helped and aggravated my hermitage. One one hand I meet and talk with more people, and on the other, I can turn my friends "off" whenever I want to, so I tend to be more inpatient with my irl friends.

Sexually hubby and I are extremely compatible. It's the "easiest" part of our relationship, but that doesn't smooth over everything else. We still have different viewpoints on how to spend money. We both have different styles of religious faith. I'm a quester and questioner (needing to "study" and understand), hubby's a "simple" faith kind of guy (it is - just because it is). I'm a "nester" and he's a social butterfly.

I wouldn't exactly call us opposites. In some ways, I've never met a person on the planet MORE like me. We have the same (scary) sense of humor. We both have a strong sense of individuality and even pride in our oddness.

I went into marriage (at 35) looking at it much like the Peace Corps (the toughest job you'll ever love).

Fressca
05-15-2010, 02:14 PM
I vote... true. At least, it is in my (very happy) marriage! ;)

ETA: I don't look at it as controlling or manipulating. I look at having sex as often as he wants to as a valuable investment towards keeping him happy and content, just as he goes out of his way to keep me happy and content.

Robsia
05-15-2010, 03:20 PM
My OH and I have sex all the time and we still have arguments. And FTR I don't GIVE him sex, nor does he GIVE me sex - we give it to each other.

I loathe the concept of sex being a bartering tool, or of a woman withholding sex till she gets what she wants.

eclipse
05-15-2010, 03:46 PM
I think if a woman is having sex a lot when she'd really rather not be, everything might fall in place for the man, but she very well could be miserable.

CrystalZ10
05-15-2010, 04:27 PM
You can give a guy anything he wants, and if he's a selfish jerk, than he'll still wander.
I agree, one doesn't do all the giving, it happens on both sides. I respect my husbands opinion. He's the head of our household, but he still asks for my thoughts before making choices that affect the both of us.

kaplods
05-15-2010, 04:43 PM
My OH and I have sex all the time and we still have arguments. And FTR I don't GIVE him sex, nor does he GIVE me sex - we give it to each other.

I loathe the concept of sex being a bartering tool, or of a woman withholding sex till she gets what she wants.


Good point! I'd also like to point out that it isn't always the man with the higher sex drive in a relationship (and the man isn't always the primary initiator, either).

I find it weird that as much as sexual attitudes have changed over the past few decades, it's still so common to find people thinking that the man is "supposed to be" more interested than the woman, and he should be the one to initiate sex most of the time (unless it's his birthday). Or for that matter that "his" sexual satisfaction is more important to the relationship than hers - after all, sex isn't all that important to women... (and it's both men and women I've met with these attitudes).

I've been surprised thateven some of the most "unconventional" of people I've met, often still hold some very archaic beliefs about sex and relationships and gender roles.

If I'm honest with myself I'm not expempt, I hold some of them too, but some of them are silly. Even before I noticed my decline (due to health issues) in reaction-time and night vision, hubby always drove. Neither of us "decided" that he would always drive - we just fell into the habit of him driving, because "the man drives" (we never said or thought about it, it just happened).

mandalinn82
05-15-2010, 04:55 PM
Ugh, this statement makes me very unhappy.

First of all, it perpetuates the idea that women have lower sex drives than their partners, and that while men "want" sex, women just "give" it. Which is not the case at all, in many relationships.

Second, people in relationships do SO MANY things to make eachother happy and improve eachothers lives. This statement reduces a woman's worth in all of those things to one thing...sex. Which I find to be horribly objectifying. As if all a woman really needs to bring to a relationship is her ability to "give" sex...any other attributes she may offer are unnecessary for anyone's happiness.

kaplods
05-15-2010, 05:08 PM
And it's an attitude that is not only disrespectful to women, but men as well. I cringe when I hear women talk about their men as if they're idiots or puppies - easily amused, distracted and controlled. Want to distract a husband from an irresponsible shoe purchase, do something "special" in the bedroom! - Yeah, I've actually heard THAT conversation - in a workplace cafeteria! Blegh! (it took every ounce of inner fortitude not to make the finger down the throat gesture).

Does anyone really want a partner who can be made happy simply with sex (or shoes, or cash or anything for that matter)? Nothing else is on his or her mind? Nothing else is more important? Talk about a one note relationship. If all he (or she) is interested in is sex (or whatever), that's all it will take to make that person happy - but I've met very few women or men who are that simple (and the ones I have met scare me).

Blackberry Fields
05-15-2010, 05:29 PM
I cringe when I hear women talk about their men as if they're idiots or puppies

GAH. See every sitcom/unfunny comedy ever made. Even some commercials. Seeing men infantilized that way drives me every bit as crazy as seeing men still doing the same to women when it comes to important decisions.

It sometimes feel like I just follow you around the board nodding my head, but I can't help it... I love, love, love your posts.

I'm a loner at heart. I have to consciously work at social behavior to avoid being a hermit.

Hehe. My... somewhat significant other (we haven't figured it out yet...) and I have a "But... but... what is the social protocol for this?" inside joke because we're often clueless about social behaviors (I'm far more clueless than she is). One thing we're NOT confused about though is that as women we really don't have a lower sex drive than men, we don't feel guilty about it and it's not a bartering tool.

WarMaiden
05-15-2010, 05:38 PM
I think that the importance of sex in a partnered relationship is a function of how important it is, as an emotional/physical need, to each partner. I was married to a man with a lower sex drive than me at one time, and sex was definitely not the way to his heart; rather it was a topic of difficulty and strain for us. In my current marriage, sex is very important to both of us, but more important to my husband. Because I know (from an analytical standpoint) how important sex is to him, then I am pretty careful to make sure he gets a sufficient quantity and quality of it. There have been times in our marriage when I have neglected nearly everything about our relationship OTHER than the sex, and that actually made him not a happy camper at all; he has more emotional needs than simply sex.

So in short, while I think that sex (both quantity and quality) is important to the majority of men, I don't think sex is the only thing that is important to men, nor that sex alone will fix everything in a relationship.

I also think that sex can be an important glue in a relationship, however, there may be relationships where sex is not the most effective glue. Rather, perhaps something like recreational activities or conversation or shared financial/career achievement would be the glue in those cases.

Viviane
05-15-2010, 07:16 PM
Ugh, this statement makes me very unhappy.

First of all, it perpetuates the idea that women have lower sex drives than their partners, and that while men "want" sex, women just "give" it. Which is not the case at all, in many relationships.

Second, people in relationships do SO MANY things to make eachother happy and improve eachothers lives. This statement reduces a woman's worth in all of those things to one thing...sex. Which I find to be horribly objectifying. As if all a woman really needs to bring to a relationship is her ability to "give" sex...any other attributes she may offer are unnecessary for anyone's happiness.

Completely agree. What about our sex drive? It's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was put on this earth to service my husband...as soon as I cook his dinner and fix him a drink, I'll get right to it!" (This line of thinking is pretty typical of "Dr." Laura. Her PhD is in physiology, by the way).
If the majority of the time you're having sex with your partner, you're doing so only to satisfy their needs, you may want to look at why that is. Great sex can make an already great relationship even better, but it cannot be the foundation. This is especially true if only the needs of one partner are satisfied and the other is doing it out of obligation. All great sex does to a terrible or lacking relationship is prolong its inevitable death.

LovebirdsFlying
05-16-2010, 04:32 AM
I think it dehumanizes both men and women. It makes men biological animals, ruled by their sex drives, and it makes women objects who exist only for the pleasure of men.

I was bothered when a general question was asked a few days ago on another site, "Could you have a physically attractive opposite-sex friend, without developing feelings for him or her?" What irked me was the answer one man gave. "There is a difference between feelings and sexual attraction. I wouldn't fall in love, but I'd bang her." (Oh, your level of respect for women as human beings underwhelms me.)

EZMONEY
05-16-2010, 07:11 PM
..... It's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was put on this earth to service my husband...as soon as I cook his dinner and fix him a drink, I'll get right to it!"

I see nothing wrong with a woman doing all that for her husband...and I am sure there are many men out there that would agree :)


(This line of thinking is pretty typical of "Dr." Laura. Her PhD is in physiology, by the way).

:fr: You can't be serious....do you even listen to her show? And seriously what does it matter what her degree is in anyway...her show is about giving the callers advice on issues that they request AND she is always referring callers to seek qualified help for those she cannot help. I give great advice on things I know about...taping drywall for example...and I don't even have a degree! la-ti-da...;)

Give a man all the sex he wants and everything else will fall into place...

It is a pretty general statement..a lot has been read into it here :)

I guess how each of us takes it is where we are in life with the subject and how we got here.

Being 56 years old...a very handsome and :cool: cool 56 years old male :rofl::lol3::rofl: I can tell you the ways I view sex has certainly changed over the years.

When I was a young man sex was all about me....me-me-ME!....I don't think that is unusual at all. Of course I wanted my partners to be happy and enjoy it...but that was not my main focus.

As I grew in maturity I realized it is a 2-way street with your partner...sometimes smooth sailing...sometimes a very bumpy ride. It is amazing how one night of sex depending on where "life" is in your relationship can be so freakin' rewarding :) for both...to...a complete disaster is what sex was intended for :(

I learned that, in general, men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to enjoy sex. Some fall into that box and others don't of course.

I have seen my drive go from non-stop ALWAYS ON MY MIND!! to take it or leave it...leave it especially if there is a good game on ;)

I have gone from hoping it goes away before someone sees it ;) to needing a little help from medication to where in the heck did that come from :carrot:

My wife has gone from what I was like at 18...every day...every day...gotta have it EVERY day... to her pre/menopause and never want it...never need it...ever EVER!!!

She has gone from....:love::love::love:...to....

I'm :flame: I'm :coolsnow: I'm :flame: :mad: You're so dead!! :mad: if you even think about it!! :mad:

Throughout the years sex has been :carrot: wonderful at times...sometimes it has been a chore...

Things have been said...not said....wished things were said...wished things were not said...

In my life regarding sex there are a lot of things I wish I could change....maturity brings that out in a person....;)

Sometimes I even give great advice about sex...based on my past failures :(

however....

Sometimes Angie and I are ONE as God intended with the gift :angel:

It's wonderful :goodvibes

Sometimes things fall into place after all.....;)

lizziep
05-16-2010, 10:55 PM
"men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to enjoy sex"

now that is a statement i can agree with.

Blackberry Fields
05-17-2010, 02:26 AM
women need to feel loved to enjoy sex"


Er... nope. Fortunately.

CrystalZ10
05-17-2010, 03:23 AM
:fr: You can't be serious....do you even listen to her show? And seriously what does it matter what her degree is in anyway...her show is about giving the callers advice on issues that they request AND she is always referring callers to seek qualified help for those she cannot help. I give great advice on things I know about...taping drywall for example...and I don't even have a degree! la-ti-da...;)

Give a man all the sex he wants and everything else will fall into place...

It is a pretty general statement..a lot has been read into it here :)

I guess how each of us takes it is where we are in life with the subject and how we got here.

Being 56 years old...a very handsome and :cool: cool 56 years old male :rofl::lol3::rofl: I can tell you the ways I view sex has certainly changed over the years.

When I was a young man sex was all about me....me-me-ME!....I don't think that is unusual at all. Of course I wanted my partners to be happy and enjoy it...but that was not my main focus.

As I grew in maturity I realized it is a 2-way street with your partner...sometimes smooth sailing...sometimes a very bumpy ride. It is amazing how one night of sex depending on where "life" is in your relationship can be so freakin' rewarding :) for both...to...a complete disaster is what sex was intended for :(

I learned that, in general, men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to enjoy sex. Some fall into that box and others don't of course.

I have seen my drive go from non-stop ALWAYS ON MY MIND!! to take it or leave it...leave it especially if there is a good game on ;)

I have gone from hoping it goes away before someone sees it ;) to needing a little help from medication to where in the heck did that come from :carrot:

My wife has gone from what I was like at 18...every day...every day...gotta have it EVERY day... to her pre/menopause and never want it...never need it...ever EVER!!!

She has gone from....:love::love::love:...to....

I'm :flame: I'm :coolsnow: I'm :flame: :mad: You're so dead!! :mad: if you even think about it!! :mad:

Throughout the years sex has been :carrot: wonderful at times...sometimes it has been a chore...

Things have been said...not said....wished things were said...wished things were not said...

In my life regarding sex there are a lot of things I wish I could change....maturity brings that out in a person....;)

Sometimes I even give great advice about sex...based on my past failures :(

however....

Sometimes Angie and I are ONE as God intended with the gift :angel:

It's wonderful :goodvibes

Sometimes things fall into place after all.....;)

:lol3: :rofl: So basicly, a pretty good marriage. My hubby is 41..I can't tell if his drive is low, or if he was just used to running into a brick wall with his last two ex's every time he wanted some loving. There have been times were I would try to get his attention for some snuggle time, and he wouldn't take the bait. I'd get soo :mad: at him and thought I was some sort of freak.
Things seemed to change up a bit, and he's much more receptive. But he's always been sweet, and loving. I don't think sex was the reason he is so good to me. Its part of the equation, but not the whole picture.

carol2208
05-17-2010, 04:35 AM
"men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to enjoy sex"

hum, I donīt agree with that statement... I have had highly enjoyable sex with no love at all. For me at least, sex has a lot more to do with desire than with love, although sex with love can be much better than sex without it (but in that case I think it has more to do with intimacy than anything else)

Iīm one of the cases where my sex drive is higher than my boyfriendīs, and sometimes he tries to use sex as a weapon, and the only thing that achieves is pissing me off. I would lose a lot of respect for my partner if it was that easy to manipulate him...

Viviane
05-17-2010, 09:32 AM
Originally Posted by Viviane
..... It's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was put on this earth to service my husband...as soon as I cook his dinner and fix him a drink, I'll get right to it!"

I see nothing wrong with a woman doing all that for her husband...and I am sure there are many men out there that would agree

There isn't anything wrong with a woman cooking for or pampering her husband unless it is an obligation he or society has forced on her. I cook dinner for my DH some nights and he cooks for me some nights, but more often than not, we cook together. It's the attitude that women should be prepared to *service* their men in order to "have everything else fall into place" that I object to.

Do you see the implication there? In case you don't, here it is: A woman should give herself to her husband, on demand, regardless of her physical/emotional state at that time. If she doesn't, she deserves blame for the consequences of not having sex with her husband every time he desires. This, as others have noted, reduces a woman's worth to her ability to sexually satisfy a man. It's incredibly degrading.

:fr: You can't be serious....do you even listen to her show? And seriously what does it matter what her degree is in anyway...her show is about giving the callers advice on issues that they request AND she is always referring callers to seek qualified help for those she cannot help. I give great advice on things I know about...taping drywall for example...and I don't even have a degree! la-ti-da...;)

I'm completely serious- the woman is a menace. She's a hypocrite and her views on marriage reduce men to puppies and women to dog trainers. Don't even get me started on her take on homosexuality. The reason I pointed out that her PhD is in physiology is because many people are completely unaware that this woman does not have any counseling credentials. She isn't a psychologist or psychiatrist, but calls herself "Dr. Laura" on a show in which people call her for advice. She purposely misleads her audience by doing so. She's counting on the fact that people are under the impression that she has some expertise in human development or relationships, when she has no more expertise than her callers. It affords her gravitas that using just "Laura" does not. It's insulting to her audience and to credentialed psychologists and psychiatrists. If she wants to give advice, she should do what you do and speak to subjects she is knowledgeable about, like the purpose of mitochondria.

Yet another one we're in disagreement over, eh, EZMONEY? ;)
Cheers!

eclipse
05-17-2010, 12:04 PM
Aside from that, I don't think Dr. Laura's personal life looks anything like the personal life of anyone who should be giving advice to millions of people.

Passionista
05-17-2010, 12:15 PM
I like the feisty, outspoken women speaking their minds in this thread. Go, Sisters! ;)

I agree with much of what has been said that is pro-woman and pro- individual preference.

I think I'll just step slowly away before I start something, as "Dr. Laura" and her sanctimonious show is really freaking triggering for me :mad:

EZMONEY
05-17-2010, 01:36 PM
:D You ladies are killin' me here...

Since how did this turn into a bashing Dr. Laura thread?

All I did was mention the letter was from her show...

I have been around long enough in life to see how we mess up our lives...including Dr. Laura....

it is no secret some of the mistakes she has made...

so what?

Personally, I find most of her advice right on!

And seriously gals, do you really think the people calling in care what or if she has a degree?

Come on....those that listen to her know who she is and where she comes from.

People call in and listen because they respect her and her advice...

they need some good advice....

a lot of people have really messed up their lives out there...

I can't tell you how many times callers have said...I wish I would have known you before I messed up my life..."

I think she has the power to save the world....

if we will only listen :)

Viviane
05-17-2010, 03:56 PM
Aside from that, I don't think Dr. Laura's personal life looks anything like the personal life of anyone who should be giving advice to millions of people.
Well said!

I think I'll just step slowly away before I start something, as "Dr. Laura" and her sanctimonious show is really freaking triggering for me :mad:
:hug: Don't let her poison get to you!


:D You ladies are killin' me here...
Since how did this turn into a bashing Dr. Laura thread?

Umm...if you look at the thread...you pretty much made it about her by taking such offense to me saying that this advice is typical of her show (which is true) and my pointing out that she is not a licensed mental health professional (which is also true). My comments were an aside to my response to mandalinn's comment, intended to illustrate the broader attitude of Dr. Laura.


All I did was mention the letter was from her show...

Come on, you can't really plead innocence on this, can you? The original post is purposely provocative and you asked it in a forum that's mostly women, where we're all pretty encouraging of each other's empowerment. If you can't take the heat...don't ask the question. ;)


I have been around long enough in life to see how we mess up our lives...including Dr. Laura....
it is no secret some of the mistakes she has made...
so what?
Personally, I find most of her advice right on!
And seriously gals, do you really think the people calling in care what or if she has a degree?
Come on....those that listen to her know who she is and where she comes from.
People call in and listen because they respect her and her advice...
they need some good advice....
a lot of people have really messed up their lives out there...
I can't tell you how many times callers have said...I wish I would have known you before I messed up my life..."

Yes, I think people calling in care about her credentials. She wouldn't refer to herself as "Dr. Laura" if she thought callers would so willingly take advice from some unknown "Laura." Many who listen to her have no idea of how she lived before she was a mother or how she lives now, both of with are diametrically opposed to the advice she gives. It's not as though she outed her past in some mea culpa to illustrate why she now believes in certain virtues, the media did that for her. The majority of her callers may respect the persona she's created, but it's carefully crafted to obfuscate the truth. Aside from that, she's rude and nasty, which I guess is part of the draw for some of her listeners.


I think she has the power to save the world....
if we will only listen :)
To each his own.

eclipse
05-17-2010, 04:46 PM
I think she has the power to save the world....

if we will only listen :)

So she's, like, a prophet or something? Um, ooookay. . .

eclipse
05-17-2010, 04:49 PM
And to add, if I ever hear something from "Dr." Laura with which I agree, I will have no problem aknowledging that. I don't dismiss anything she has to say out of hand. But when someone starts suggesting that I give up control of my own body, well, I'm going to call it for the ridiculousness that it is. As a rape survivor, that kind of talk really makes me want to puke, thank you very much.

mandalinn82
05-17-2010, 04:59 PM
As I think about this, I keep imagining who might be listening to her show...including, I would think, at least some teenage girls (my mom used to put on talk radio for long drives, and I did hear a lot of Dr. Laura). Imagine that girl is having some trouble with her boyfriend (again, an easy thing to imagine, given the way a lot of teenage relationships go...).

Is the message we want to send really "well, if you'd just have SEX with him, all the rest of the problems would go away"??

kaplods
05-17-2010, 05:12 PM
When I was a probation officer, I dealt with abuse situations a lot. It was surprising to me how many abusers and abuse victims feel this way. Women would justify their husband's abuse by saying "if I give him whatever he wants, he never hits me. It's really my fault that he hits me." And the abuser would say "I only hit her when she makes me mad."

As a result, this topic, even though I know it wasn't meant to address abuse situations, still leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

Just as when abusers use biblical verses of "women, obey your husband" as justification for physical violence and emotional and physical abuse.

EZMONEY
05-17-2010, 05:57 PM
.....
Come on, you can't really plead innocence on this, can you?

I could...but would it do me any good? :D


The original post is purposely provocative and you asked it in a forum that's mostly women, where we're all pretty encouraging of each other's empowerment.

:) I know exactly what goes on here :)


If you can't take the heat...don't ask the question. ;)

You don't really think this is the first time "I had something to say" do ya...you're a new kid here.


Yes, I think people calling in care about her credentials.

And yet again we don't see eye to eye ;)


To each his own.

Thank-you!

So she's, like, a prophet or something? Um, ooookay. . .

Your words not mine :)

And to add, if I ever hear something from "Dr." Laura with which I agree, I will have no problem aknowledging that..

Now Jeri I know you can hear her 3 hours a day from where you live...and you haven't ever heard ANYTHING from her that you agree with?...really?

As I think about this, I keep imagining who might be listening to her show...including, I would think, at least some teenage girls (my mom used to put on talk radio for long drives, and I did hear a lot of Dr. Laura). Imagine that girl is having some trouble with her boyfriend (again, an easy thing to imagine, given the way a lot of teenage relationships go...).

Is the message we want to send really "well, if you'd just have SEX with him, all the rest of the problems would go away"??


Now favorite one...you know I mean no disrespect with the "comment"...just trying to make things interesting around here...the comment was just a part of the show....I think a lot has been read into it that I really didn't want :hug:

....
Just as when abusers use biblical verses of "women, obey your husband" as justification for physical violence and emotional and physical abuse.

Colleen, you and I both know that the scripture you are talking about is and was meant as a wonderful gift for us.

The comment was not about abuse.....

It was a statement from a mother to a daughter of advise. There are many folks out there that have wonderful relationships and at the same time use sex as a "tool"....for their very own pleasure....to try and provide pleasure for their partner...selfish and unselfish reasons. I have used it for nothing but fun...with women/girls I should not have :(....used to make my kids :) ...refused to when I was :mad:...got mad :mad: when refused to me 'cause she was :mad:

A lot of over-lap in my sex life on reasons WHY I HAD IT...very general...

one of the problems with general statements here...

some of you have read into it way more than I ever would....

Hummm...:chin: I wonder what Dr. Laura would have to say about this? ;)

kaplods
05-17-2010, 06:19 PM
Colleen, you and I both know that the scripture you are talking about is and was meant as a wonderful gift for us.

The comment was not about abuse.....


I didn't mean to imply there was something wrong with the scripture - it's merely a conveniently abused one. And I know that your comments were not intended to encomass abuse - and neither were Dr. Laura's, but....

they're examples that are so often abused, that they can't be used cleanly without a great deal of clarification and contextualization. This piece of advice regarding sex, and the scripture regarding wifely obligations can't be addressed without addressing the context. The risk of misapplying it is too great.

"Wives obey your husbands," shouldn't be used as a rationale to endure abuse - nor as grounds to absolve a woman of responsibility for following ungodly behavior that her husband commanded (He told me do it, isn't ordinarily a legal or moral defense).

But it gets twisted so often, and so completely that any discussion of the scripture virtually requires that it be studied in context (the "likewise, men, love (or cherish)..... advice that follows. The word translated as obey (for the women) must be very similar to the word translated as love or cherish (for the men) or the word "likewise", would make no sense. I've heard theologians argue that the original word used for obey, is more accurately translated as "respect" and certainly respect and cherish are closer terms in english than obey and love.

The "obey" doesn't mean "throw your own brain out the window, and do whatever he tells you to do, even if it's evil." It also doesn't mean "all women, obey all men."

However, advice that is so often abused, and misinterpreted needs clarification every time, and can't be reduced to a simple platitude.

Dr. Laura's advice in this case, is another example of this type. It's so often misused, that as good as the advice can be in the proper context, it's so easily taken in the wrong context that it makes for horrible advice unless the wrong-headed interpretation is discussed at the same time.

It's just as important to know when NOT to take the advice, as it is to know when it applies. In fact, it's probably more important (which I think is reflected in the fact that more of the responses have been about when the advice doesn't apply as when it does).

Ruthxxx
05-17-2010, 06:32 PM
Time to close this thread as it's waaaay off topic. * Sigh *