Weight Loss Support - When you don't fit in with your family
05-13-2010, 10:11 PM
I just really felt the impact of this - when checking my various social networking websites. Cliff notes version:
My mom = Late 40's. 5'6. 150-ish pounds. Struggles with her weight. Used to being a solid size 5.
Little sis #1 = 25. 5'4. Solid size 3. Does nothing to maintain. 1 beautiful daughter.
Little sis #2 = 23. 5'6. Solid size 1. Does nothing to maintain. No kids.
Little sis #3 = 19. 5'4. Solid size 0. No kids. Does nothing to maintain.
I don't fit in. 5'2. 160lbs. Trying so hard. (1 kid). I am turning 30 this year.
I take after my father who was obese and died this year at the tender age of 50 (cancer - not so much weight related but he was diabetic).
They are totally supportive of me trying to lose. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes, I look at their pics and just feel like wth. I don't fit in. I don't match. Why is it so easy for them and not me? What am I doing wrong?
I miss being able to share clothes with them. I hate hearing them sit me down and say "I'm so worried about your weight. You've never been this *big*".
How do you get past it when you look like the odd chick out?
05-13-2010, 10:47 PM
If you can't beat them...join them! The awesome thing is, you can lose weight. However, you probably can't grow taller... :) lol, so you'll probably never be able to trade clothes with them! :)
You've got a good start, just keep chuggin along. You'll be slim and trim with them in no time.
05-13-2010, 10:51 PM
Just do your best? It sounds like they are supportive. Nobody is exactly like anyone else. In every group you could come up with, I bet you could find a reason to be the odd chick out. Maybe focus more on how lucky you are to have your family? And do the weight loss/exercise thing to your own standards, not to anyone else's. There will always be people fatter and thinner than you. What matters is for you to be where you want to be and to do what it takes to get there. Maybe one of your sisters wishes she had your perfect smile, or small feet, or whatever...everyone has something to cherish and everyone has something they don't like.
My family is pretty much non-existent. My father is deceased. My mother needs to be euthanized like a rabid dog. My younger brother and I get along well, but we don't communicate much. So, I have just my hubby and my children and grandbabies and I love all of them to death and every one of us is as different as can be. And I LOVE the differences and appreciate how much they add to the mix whenver we can get us all together in the same spot. We have the bestest times! Either in spite of all our differences or because of them.
You are precious just for being YOU, whether or not you are like your mom and sisters!
05-14-2010, 11:58 AM
I am the odd duck in my family too. I don't look like anyone in my immediate family and I am the only one who struggles with my weight. I'm the shortest, fairest, blue eyed and a completely different body type. Never going to be tall, long limbed, brown eyed, nor is a tan in my future (unless I opt for a spray on tan). Honestly, if I didn't have an aunt and grandmother that I favor I'd swear I was adopted.
It just is what it is. You'll do the best you can, you'll lose the weight if you just keep working at it, and in the end, you'll be who you are. And it sounds as if you have a loving supportive family who is there for you and will celebrate every success with you.
I could be wrong but I don't think they want anymore for you than good health. I think they just want to see you get there and in their own way (which might be clumsy) they're trying to show you that they can be supportive. They may never understand your issues but it seems from what you say they are trying to be helpful. I don't know why it's harder for some of us than others when it comes to weight but I promise you that EVERYONE has something they have to deal with in this life. When it's a wt issue, it's out there for the world to see. Other issues you might never see but trust me when I tell you, this is part of being human. I'm sure your family has issues, some you may not even be aware of. I have a brother on medication for depression. Because the medication works, I don't 'see' his issues but he has them.
Move past comparing yourself to them. It will free you up to do the work you need to do to be the best you can be and enjoy life to its fullest ;)
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