General chatter - Judgement On Size




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Airforcechick07
05-05-2010, 09:49 AM
How many of us have been guilty of judging ppl good or bad based on there size?

I have heard several comments in other threads on how we view ppl who are bigger then us or smaller then us....and Im just wanting to open this thread so we can get some of our thoughts out.




I personally am very guilty of judging ppl based on there size I dont voice my opinion but mentally I am tearing them apart. For instance at the moment I am deployed in Afghanistan the female/ male ratio is stupid. Atleast 200 males for every one female..... So I find myself surrounded my men who go months even a year at a time without sex, so of course every female here is game for them no matter what she looks like.....yet still I find myself jealous of other girls getting attention and how they look.....which is horrible seeing as I get asked for my number atleast once a day....yet I still cant help it. I am judging them based solely on their apperance and instantly not liking them, just for being a female.


beerab
05-05-2010, 10:47 AM
I think we all judge whether we realize it or not. But it's how we act upon it. I won't lie- when I meet someone who is thin and then starts complaining they need to lose weight I can't help but mentally roll my eyes.

Airforcechick07
05-05-2010, 12:02 PM
I agree with that we all judge in some way


CanadianCutie
05-05-2010, 12:29 PM
We all judge for sure. It's a part of human nature. It is definitely how we act on it that judges our own character. We know we are treated differently depending how we look, that was always the fascinating part of psychology to me the halo/horn effect, and how it sometimes is reversed based on personal experience.

LovebirdsFlying
05-06-2010, 09:36 AM
I tend to be just as guilty of judging smaller or "prettier" people, as I perceive them to be of judging me. Any woman who looks as if she may have been a cheerleader or a homecoming queen, I mentally judge. I assume that because they are more "attractive" they have it easy, or they're stuck-up. Sometimes this is true, but not always, and probably not most of the time. Several people who are naturally rail-thin and don't gain weight no matter what, have told me that they, too, get stereotyped by their body size. They get accused of being crack or meth addicts.

As for thin people crying that they're fat, I have little patience with it. I'm afraid I'd make a horrible counselor for anorexics.

Airforcechick07
05-06-2010, 10:44 AM
haha yea me too, I judge pretty ppl or those who have nice bodies...and just assume there life is easier....easier getting a BF, easier finding a job becuase they have the look.......

Has anyone else noticed that beautiful nice bodied women seem to always be dressed nice in awesome clothes....isnt it enough they are good looking without having to have money tooo!!!!

Wannabeskinny
05-06-2010, 10:57 AM
It's my natural reaction to judge other women too. I try to battle those thoughts though. It's a constant struggle because I believe women are truly beautiful creatures inside and out and i'm trying not to be judgemental of them.

Remember, just because a woman is thin doesn't mean she doesn't battle her weight. I know plenty of thin women who are always fighting 5lbs. Do you think it's not a struggle for them too? It is, they're just better at handling it than I am. It's pointless to say that people that are thinner than you aren't struggling as hard as you. I remember being 30lbs thinner than I am right now and I remember that I hated my body then too. I complain about my body all the time. Does that mean that someone who weighs 50lbs more than me should be rolling their eyes at me?

beerab
05-06-2010, 12:02 PM
I never said it was right. I do try to not feel this way but I can't help it. Call it jealousy- call it what you want- but when I see a person freaking out cuz they have gone from 110 to 113 I can't help but think yeah um I have 100 lbs to lose- what are you complaining about? It makes me feel like they are trying to rub their body in my face...

LovebirdsFlying
05-06-2010, 04:20 PM
What about the woman I once knew who, even as a size 0, thought she was "fat," and when she found herself wearing a size 2, *really* hollered. She didn't have enough body fat on her to sustain a pregnancy, and kept miscarrying. Her doctor repeatedly told her she had to gain weight if she wanted to have a child, and she'd say, "I'm tryyyyiiiinnnng." Then she'd go take a diet pill and ride the exercycle for hours.

I can't see her as a woman who struggles with her weight just like I do, except to a lesser degree. My mother, I can see that way. That woman, no.

bellenoir
05-06-2010, 05:40 PM
It's sad but we are all guilty of this.

Ciao
05-07-2010, 12:20 AM
I'm guilty of judging bigger girls before I found 3FC...

I mean, I would NEVER say something mean to them to hurt their feelings. That's something I'm not capable of; I do have a heart.

And for me, it's not really judging tinier girls than I. It's more of envy.
Unless it's obvious they needed to gain a couple pounds.

3FC has made me realize the beauty in people around me.
It's made me understand that everyone has struggles, self-consciousness,
and reasons for who we are today. I'm not so quick to judge anymore.
I'm growing more as a person each and every day.

bama girl
05-07-2010, 01:39 AM
I think I've been really guilty of judging others in the past, because like others have said, I'm so judgemental toward myself that I assume they are judging me. Women are so catty sometimes... myself included. I used to look for imperfections in people's bodies because I thought everyone was looking at mine.

Now, not so much, because I have realized that most people are so busy with their own lives that they don't notice most of my perceived flaws. I try really hard to notice positive things about people now, because I hope that is what people notice in me. :)

Ms JanVan
05-07-2010, 04:56 AM
If I go out somewhere then I constantly feel that others are judging me by what I'm wearing & how my hair looks because I'm sometimes judging others the same whether consciously or sub-consciously esp people bigger than me - my hubby says it's because others are more comfortable in their own skin & I should get over it but if a person even slightly bigger than me is wearing is clothes that are the wrong fit and I'm trying to cover up then I constantly want to criticise which is soo wrong. I also feel that I constantly have to "suck" in my stomach or people will stare - surely there's some stage when you just concentrate on yourself and dont see the flaws in others???

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Airforcechick07
05-07-2010, 05:29 AM
I dont know if we ever really stop judging others no matter what weight we are.....

Wannabeskinny
05-07-2010, 08:45 AM
What about the woman I once knew who, even as a size 0, thought she was "fat," and when she found herself wearing a size 2, *really* hollered. She didn't have enough body fat on her to sustain a pregnancy, and kept miscarrying. Her doctor repeatedly told her she had to gain weight if she wanted to have a child, and she'd say, "I'm tryyyyiiiinnnng." Then she'd go take a diet pill and ride the exercycle for hours.

I can't see her as a woman who struggles with her weight just like I do, except to a lesser degree. My mother, I can see that way. That woman, no.

This woman struggles with her weight as much as I do. She has a body image problem just like I do, except I weight 180 and she weighs much less. Just because she's skinnier than me doesn't mean she struggles any less than I do. Whenever you think that you're struggling more than another person it's indicative of a victim mentality and I know that that can really hinder in your own progress. Been there.

LovebirdsFlying
05-07-2010, 09:00 PM
This woman struggles with her weight as much as I do. She has a body image problem just like I do, except I weight 180 and she weighs much less. Just because she's skinnier than me doesn't mean she struggles any less than I do. Whenever you think that you're struggling more than another person it's indicative of a victim mentality and I know that that can really hinder in your own progress. Been there.

I'll allow that she struggles, but it's not the *same* struggle, since her "obesity" is only imaginary, while mine is real. Her struggle is not with her weight. It is with her perception of it. My struggle actually is with my weight.

Neither is better or worse, more or less, than the other. Just different.

As far as that "victim mentality," I don't think we all begin at the same starting line in life. I think some people do have a head start, and others will always be behind, even though they're running just as hard as the front-end competitors, because they started from farther back, and because they've got things weighing them down. Some people are born into money, and others have to sweat for every dime they get. Some people are born healthy, and others are born with serious disabilities. Some are born with society's idea of attractiveness, and others have to work at it. Life isn't fair. I'm not saying that the pretty people with money don't struggle, but they don't have the same issues I've got. This doesn't make me a "victim." It's just the way things are.