Weight Loss Support - Disappointment at reaching goals?

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05-04-2010, 01:31 PM
I know--it sounds strange. I continually feel disappointed or angry or even stupid when I reach mini goals I set for myself. For example, when I got to 199 (my starting weight was 207) I sort of mocked myself...like how can I be happy with being 199? There is nothing to celebrate. 199 is bigger than I ever wanted to be. Now I'm 1 lb away from reaching my second mini goal of 184 (pre-pregnancy weight) but I always felt big at that weight so again I'm nonplussed about that too. My third goal is 167 (which was my high weight about 10 years ago---weight that I was also not happy at). It seems like a low enough number but I can't get excited about it. It's not that I'm unmotivated because I continue to work on it but my mini goals seem like a slap in the face, a reminder that I'm way bigger than I ever thought I would be.

Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe I should abandon the whole mini-goal strategy and just focus on the end number? Maybe I'm selecting the wrong goals?

Has anyone else experienced these feelings? Please let me know how you got through it!


05-04-2010, 01:49 PM
Once in a great while I think similar things. But, remember the number is sure alot better on the way down than on the way up.

We must be happy with our progress and be satisfied making those mini goals in weight and other ways we are living healthyfully with food. If you wait until you are at the 'perfect number' it will be a long frustrating journey.

What's done is done....you've gained the weight but you are making good changes to get that weight off! We all have those memories ( I weighed this when I got married, when I had my babies, when, when, when). It's just not productive to think that way in the long run. Please try forgive yourself and move forward!!

05-04-2010, 01:57 PM
yep, sister. It's time for an additude adjustment. I'm not mocking you but I think this line of thought not helpful for you. Only you can change the way YOU think. Be gentle with yourself and focus on what you are doing right. This is a new life and embrace it and feel gratful for it. If setting mini goals associated with weight force your thoughts in this direction come up with new ways to measure success. Measurements, weight lifting goals, running goals are some ideas. I'd get away from number goals such as weight or clothing size. Good luck and you can do this. Once you make the decission in your head it will be easy!

05-04-2010, 01:58 PM
Hmm, I don't think mini goals are a bad strategy. I really enjoyed reaching mini goals on the way down. I set my mini goals at my highest weight and planned little rewards for myself when I reached them. New workout clothes, new jeans, getting my hair styled, etc. Things that I could look forward to and want to work towards that kept me motivated when my final goal seemed so far away.

That being said, mini goals are just that. MINI goals on the way to the final goal, not the end product. You should absolutely be happy to reach 199, but don't be disappointed that you're not 100% satisfied, because it's just a marker of progress. Progress is good!

My original final goal was 150 since that's the lowest I ever remember being, even in middle school. Shortly after I started, I moved it to 145. Then 140. Now I'm planning on getting to 136 and maintaining between 131 and 136. So it's fine to adjust your goals as you get closer. When I was at 183, I couldn't even fathom being 131, it would have been discouraging to aim for, not to mention that I couldn't even imagine myself at that weight. At 150, the 130's seemed achievable and within reason. At 139, 131-136 is just a hop and a skip away, lol.

05-04-2010, 02:21 PM
When I first started losing, I was really angry about the numbers, too. But I realized that the only way I was going to get to my goal weight was to pass through each of those horrid, wretched numbers. I could continue to allow them to make me angry or I could choose to embrace each number on the way down. I chose the latter; why be cranky?

05-04-2010, 03:07 PM
Maybe you should stray away from the weight number for a while. I focus adding a minute to my running intervals, walking faster during the walk portions of my run, adding more weight to bench presses, more lifts on lighter weights, etc. It seems like more an accomplishment than the number on the scale. :cool:

05-04-2010, 03:30 PM
We are always our own worst critic- you need to tell those bad thoughts to GO away.

A loss is a loss- that's what I always say!

05-04-2010, 05:48 PM
We are always our own worst critic- you need to tell those bad thoughts to GO away.

A loss is a loss- that's what I always say!

Hehehe, beerab, do you always sound like Dr. Suess? :D

Anyway, I've never felt angry at a loss, so I can't help you much. Sometimes I don't even believe it's happening. I'm about to hit a major landmark- finally getting out of the 190's and in to the 180's and I will be loving it. Why? Because, sure, I'm a long way off of where I should be, I'm still mad I'm not my sister's perfect 2, but gosh darnit, my plan is WORKING. And every pound that drops proves it. And THAT is a GREAT feeling.

I have to agree with everyone else- you need to focus on the positive things. I've been doing this a lot with life recently, to help me focus on what I do have, instead of what I don't. Slowly, I've seen my mood and outlook improve. Whenever I'm feeling low, I list 10 things I'm grateful for. Anything goes. Maybe you should try some similar strategy? Maybe, "10 pounds I'm grateful for"? No? Hmm...

05-04-2010, 06:10 PM
whatever you're thinking - it's working for you. You might not be impressed when you get to your minigoal, but it seems to be spurring you on to the next one.

If it aint broke etc.......

05-04-2010, 06:29 PM
I know exactly how you feel. Within the next week or two I should drop below 200. Part of me is very excited and part of me is depressed. Each time I start a weight loss journey, I start a spread sheet that I track my weight every week. I happened upon one dated May 3rd of last year. I am about three pounds heavier now, after having lost almost 20 pounds!

What keeps me going is that I have been doing well for over six weeks now. Looking back at all my past spread sheets, I was lucky if I got past week two before I stopped losing, or gulp, starting gaining. I think that when you first start losing, you give yourself plenty of time. My original time frame was about 100 pounds in the next year and 8 months. Completely achievable. Once I start losing, I get so excited that I just want it faster and faster! While I sometimes lose my motivation to exercise, I am pretty comfortable with the way I am eating and I know if I keep doing it, the weight will come off. Time really does fly and you will be there before you know it.

05-04-2010, 08:52 PM
maybe a slight adjustment in the way you think about it will help. you didn't go from 207 to 199 you LOST 8 LBS! you didn't just hit your pre-pregnancy weight - you LOST 23 LBS!!

and if that doesn't work, maybe minigoals aren't for you. or maybe weight related ones- i like the idea of setting more fitness or eating goals instead.