Weight Loss Support - i need help. do i keep going or quit?




juliastl27
04-29-2010, 11:24 PM
so my original goal was 150, but like so many of us, i keep lowering it. at this weight, where i am now, i feel comfortable. i dont feel perfect, but will i ever? all my old clothes fit me and if i lose another 15 they wont, this is a key part of my decision.

i know that id feel better if i lost the final 13 lbs, plus the fact that i feel like stopping now is quitting.....but... im maintaining at this weight with almost no effort. im always hearing things about natural set points and where your body "wants to be". i dont know how true it is, but if it is true this feels pretty right to me.

so..... do i go for the gold, or stay where i can maintain easily?


Cglasscock1
04-30-2010, 12:20 AM
I'm in about the same place as you right now. I'm 5' 6" and am currently at 152 and have been easily maintaining this weight for about 6 months. I also had to decide whether to continue losing to 135-140 or stay where I am.
I decided to continue on for several reasons. One, I still have to much fat in the tummy area and I want to have slimmer arms, so I've added weight lifting to my cardio. Two, I want to be healthier as I age and I have observed that slim, active women are able to enjoy their lives well into their 80's if they are fortunate enough to have reasonably good health. And, of course, I want to look great in my clothes. I also stand to lose all my size 10 pants (I'm still cleaning out my size 12s and 14s) and probably many tops and jackets. I'm selling them at consignment stores and saving the money for smaller sizes. I know if I don't go for my final goal that I will not be as happy as I could be with my body. I don't think this last 10-20 pounds will come off quickly. I expect it to take 4-6 months as I don't do drastic dieting. I aim for one pound a week or even less. So, that's my plan! Let us know what you decide.

Arctic Mama
04-30-2010, 04:44 AM
It really depends on what you want - for me, I want to maintain with minimal effort and still have health, quality of life, and an appearance I am happy with. That, for me, is a much HIGHER weight at my height than many people are comfortable with, but I am afraid that if I have to fight to keep my weight in some idealized target that I am setting myself up for failure.

So for me, at least, it is a balance that will probably stick me in the 140-150 range, where I can live my life to the fullest and still maintain. But that number is different for everyone. It seems like you answered your own question - if wearing all your old clothing and easily maintaining is your goal, you're there and CONGRATULATIONS for it! If pursuit of a leaner body shape is more important, go for the extra thirteen pounds.


Its up to you, but if you wont be disheartened if you lose that weight and cannot comfortably stay there, you can always choose to let your body slide back up the scale naturally to 150-ish, where you are most comfortable. But I also don't think it is worth expending the mental and physical energy to get down further than you really need, if there isn't a compelling enough reason to do so.

Make sense?

That's just my perspective, anyway :)


srmb60
04-30-2010, 06:15 AM
Have you had a chance to go reading in the maintainers threads? Maybe you can gather up some insight there. Ya know? how they ended up where they are? what they do to stay there?

LizR
04-30-2010, 06:27 AM
Sounds to me like you are at a wonderful, healthy, COMFORTABLE weight which makes it perfect for you! Maintaining this weight is NOT quitting. It is a very healthy goal. Only consider going down if you are completely comfortable with that decision.

Congrats on the 70lb loss! :yay:

Ciao
04-30-2010, 06:57 AM
Maybe you can maintain it now, and in the future if you want to lower your weight you can do that.

Shmead
04-30-2010, 07:30 AM
I might push down another 10 lbs and then let yourself drift back up to where you are now as you "figure out" maintainence. You'll be experimenting with adding calories back in, and if you aren't "OMG !1!!1!" paranoid about gaining 2-5 lbs in the process, it seems like it would be less stressful.

Once you are maintaining, this weight could be your "redline"--the one you never, ever go over.

Lori Bell
04-30-2010, 08:51 AM
I decided to call 158 as my goal at one point because it put me in a high "normal" BMI weight. I reached that on July 3 of last year. Over the course of the next 5 months I ended up losing another 18 pounds just by learning how to maintain. I have now hovered around 140 for the last 5 months and have decided it is a perfect weight for me.

There was a point when I thought I should lose more because of other peoples tickers, or vanity, or a funky view of my self image. There was even a point when I thought I had to lose an even 200 just because it was an even number, (not an odd number...lol)...but it has all finally sunk in that those things are not important. What is important is that I feel great, look pretty good, and happy with how much I can eat to maintain.

Call goal, and keep on working your program, see what happens. Because you know, "it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!" ;) If you want to maintain any weight loss it's going to take work. Congrats on your success!

juliastl27
05-01-2010, 01:05 AM
There was a point when I thought I should lose more because of other peoples tickers, or vanity, or a funky view of my self image. There was even a point when I thought I had to lose an even 200 just because it was an even number, (not an odd number...lol)...but it has all finally sunk in that those things are not important. What is important is that I feel great, look pretty good, and happy with how much I can eat to maintain.


this is a lot of how im feeling. 148 puts me in the higher range of the BMI normal, but not like RIGHT at the line. i feel like by using the habits im already accustomed to staying at this weight is practically effortless. im used to eating like this now and having this amount of activity. im wearing size 10, sometimes size 8 clothes.

other peoples tickers make me feel sort of bad too. i see girls my height at 130 and 120 and even though i'd love to be super thin like that again, i just dont see being able to maintain it long term. im thinking of just calling it goal and then if i lose more, thats great. if i dont, im okay with that. i still have one or two problem areas that i obsess over but im almost to the point where i think ill always have some things i obsess over.

i think maybe i just have to accept that at age 28 and one kid later my body just isn't going to look the same as it did at age 20 when i was like 112 lbs. thanks for all the answers and support. thanks lori! i really appreciate your advice through my journey!!

KiKi in NJ
05-01-2010, 02:15 PM
I think that you should listen to your body. If there are additional goals that you want to set for yourself, I say go for it.

If you keep fighting against your body solely for the reason of reaching a certain number, I believe you will cause unnecessary stress on yourself.

That is something I'm learning know. You can't be a slave to the scale. Do what makes you feel good.

kaplods
05-01-2010, 03:09 PM
It doesn't matter as long as you mean "quit" as in maintain, and not quit as in "give up and stop paying attention."

I think that kind of "setpoint" theory is garbage. Once a person loses weight, I suspect they will always will have to put forth effort to maintain the loss. If you don't pay attention, you will probably regain all you've lost and then some (that's the way it seems to work).

But as to when you decide you're "in maintenance" that's not as important, because you can change your mind any time. You could maintain for a few months or even a few years and decide that you're ready to change your goal and try to lose some more. YOU get to decide which weight is the right for you at any given time, and the choice that's right for now, may not be the right choice forever. Your choice.

carter
05-01-2010, 03:30 PM
other peoples tickers make me feel sort of bad too. i see girls my height at 130 and 120 and even though i'd love to be super thin like that again, i just dont see being able to maintain it long term.

Don't let other people's tickers get you down - we are made of more than our heights. I'm 5'5" standing tall but I will never be 130 pounds - I'm solidly built and busty so really 150 is probably the lowest I could ever go. My goal has my lean body mass alone at ~125 pounds! If you like the way you look and feel at your current weight, it doesn't matter if someone else feels comfortable at 120.

I've never been in your position but the advice given by others seems pretty sound - check out the maintainers' forum and practice maintenance for a while. You can always kick yourself back into weight loss mode a couple months down the road if it feels right later.

Onederchic
05-01-2010, 03:41 PM
Julia, you have done an amazing job and I am so proud of you. You are beautiful and I believe if where you are now is where you are comfortable, healthy and can maintain it then stay there. It is ultimately your decision but either way, I support you and I wish you all the luck with it :hug:

MeowMix
05-01-2010, 04:48 PM
You've done amazing!! You're one of the ones I remember when I first started who posted a lot and I kept an eye on. I'm so happy you've done so well!

Now about your question. I'm a little in the same spot. My body's comfy zone seems to be around 130, but finding my brains comfy zone is much harder. I decided 130 wasn't MY comfy zone and even now I'm not sure I'm happy where I at and I wonder if I'll ever be happy with any weight. I too look at other girls goals and tickers and it's the much taller one's that always make me second guess myself. I see one 4-5-+ inches taller than me at 15-20 pounds less then me and I think "wow, if they are that much taller than me AND so much less then . ." But I have to let that one go, we're all different. *shrugs*

Now what I have decided to do is just bring it back a bit, I know I'd like to lose more but I'd also like to take it a little easier so I've let in a few more calories and am just losing much (and I mean MUCH) slower. But that's ok, I'm still losing and I feel good about how much I eat and my activity level.

Now that's just me, because I know I'll keep obsessing and feel guilty if I give in before I'm truly ready, I've sort of compromised with my body and mind. And it's like kaplods said, I can change it at any time!

So just go over the pluses and minus and decide what's best for YOU. You know yourself best and if you think this is a place you'll be happy at then stay there I'm sure you look amazing! But if not keep at it or find a compromise like I did. And if you need to later on, change it again :)

ncuneo
05-01-2010, 06:07 PM
I am going to posting this exact same post in another 14lbs:) 148lbs is a weight I think I'd probably be thrilled maintaining, but something in me feels like it's quitting and I need to push for the 130s...even though I don't think I've ever been able to maintain anything in the 130s. I think the last healthy weight I maintained was 140lbs. But nonetheless there is just something about being 5'6" in my early 30s and weighing in the 130s that society has told me is what I'm supposed to do. But what I think I'm going to do when I get to 148 (like you that is a healthy BMI for me, it's also exactly 120 lbs lost so that is why I've picked 148) is to start working on maintenance. But I'm going to eat for maintenance as if I weighed say 135 lbs. So in theory I should continue to lose, in theory. But if I don't lose then so be it...I'm sure I'll feel fantasic at 148! I also figure for my body I should be able to maintain 135 with 5xs a week of exercise (I do this already and enjoy it) and 1800 cals a day with a little wiggle on the weekend. I'm one of those lucky ones that loses at higher caloried ranges, so I don't know what maintenance would look like for you, but maybe a plan like that would work (eating maintenance at a lower weight than you are at now). Good luck on whatever you decide and congratulations on your success!