[duqserb]

So the last few days I've basically felt like I was in a daze. In addition to having so many things going on with school (a presentation tomorrow, exam and 2 quizzes Thurs, and a quiz Fri) I'm also stressing about how much I've binged the last week. Today was the first time that I just didn't want to go to therapy because the last thing I wanted to do was TALK about why I binged. It doesn't take much for me to give up on things and that's what I've been close to doing...giving up. But as I'm talking to my therapist I realize that what I've been doing is completely sabatoging myself. Because not only am I trying NOT to binge, I'm also trying to be on a DIET. I'm learning these DBT skills in therapy and one of the things you learn is how NOT to judge things. By judging something good, then it can also be bad ect. But this is basically what dieting is. You stay away from the "bad" foods and only eat the "good" foods. Trying to incorporate these 2 worlds right now just isn't happening for me. So I think from now on I need to JUST focus on practicing my skills and trying not to binge. I need to develop a healthy relationship with food....not one where I'm restricting myself from ever treat or counting every stinking calorie driving myself nuts. I can't be worried about those things now. I just need to do and practice what is healthiest for me and right now that means eating well balanced meals and snacks every few hours and not binging. So anyways, just thought I'd share this little piece of news...it feels like at least a little weight has been lifted off my shoulders :-)

~D~

[Veil]

Great post Dugserb! That session sounds like it really helped you out (YAY, you went!). You're finding what's best for you, and that is FANTASTIC!!

[tomato sunshine]

Originally Posted by duqserb

I need to develop a healthy relationship with food....not one where I'm restricting myself from ever treat or counting every stinking calorie driving myself nuts.

hmm...you know, now that i think about this, i was doing pretty well with eating healthy until i calculated my BMR and realized that my calorie intake should be a lot lower than i expected. it seems like once i started panicing, i started binging because it felt futile restricting my calories so much while staying satisfied.

hmm...maybe i will just focus on eating healthy again and not worry about calories. otherwise i will keep sabotaging myself like you mentioned!

thanks for this insight!!!

[duqserb]

Glad to have helped! ;-) I've really felt "lighter" the past few days since I've decided to stop dieting. Granted I don't think I was really restricting myself to begin with...but it was all in my head, stressing me out, leading me to binge. Now I haven't gone and thrown everything out the window and given myself an excuse to eat whatever I want but I really am just trying to focus on eating healthy for the majority of each day. I'm so relieved to not be stressing about it because I have enough on my plate with finals coming up next week. So yeah! Try it out and let me know how it works for ya :-)

~D~

[redsox33]

Hello fellow Chicagoan! (Is that a term? I'm sorta new to IL.)

I started the eating part of my lifestyle change back in late January, back when the thought of working out in the -10 degree windchill just wasn't an option for me mentally at that time. I made a rule to myself to NEVER be "starving" (hungry) because those were the times where I made horrible choices, such as going through a drive thru for food instead of just heading home for a healthy turkey sandwich, or a snack of veggie sticks.

You WILL lose your desire for the junk food. Trust me. But only if you eat properly and NEVER allow yourself to feel deprived from food. With that being said, it really becomes a choice, every single meal, every snack, that you must prepare in advance what you're going to eat. You'll learn that your body WILL be hungry in 30 or so minutes, and will start planning a good healthy meal or snack so that you're making a decision prior to becoming light headed.

Also, a stressed body cannot lose weight. I am convinced of this even though I'm sure others would disagree. Everyone is different and you'll learn how you work best. I applaud you for figuring out that a strict calorie counting diet is not for you, and that it leaves you in a mode to possibly binge. If you're stressed about worrying about binging, your body is preoccupied and therefore cannot work on changing in order to lose weight/become healthier.

I wish you the best! I think you had an "ah ha" moment and that's truly an accomplishment!