I'm sorry, I need a major venting session. About everything.
These past two days have just been awful for me. It really doesn't help that it's that time of the month. I suffer from awful cramps, headaches, nausea, and my whole body aches. It's just too much. I always fall into a deep mood of sadness at this time, sadder than usual. Just last night I was up crying for over 6 hours, about everything.
I feel like I'm never going to reach my weight loss goal. I have so far to go, and I'm tired of feeling so fat, and disgusting looking. Then when I look in the mirror I realize that even if I do lose the weight, I'll still have this face.
I'm tired of feeling so alone. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend so much, and he's wonderful, but it's tough when I only see him once a week, and sometimes with 10 days in between. We're dealing with it until we can move in together, but until then it's tough. I also don't have any friends that I can just go to if I need to get away.
I can't drive, because I can't afford insurance. I'm working to help support my family. So, I can't even get anywhere to be by myself if I want to.
My parents are both disabled, with chronic pain. They have so many issues to deal with, and it's tough to see them hurting, knowing that there is nothing that I can do to help them. I often worry that something is going to happen to them, because of these health issues.
School and work is so overwhelming right now. I feel so far behind, and have so much to make up this week, on top of 25 hours at work. Luckily I only have 2 weeks left, but I'm afraid I'm going to go crazy by then.
I may sound like I'm complaining, I'm just so frustrated right now.
ohhh sweetie!!! ::hugs:: you def need to take a deep breath, step back, and look at all you have accomplised so far!!
could you get out, even for 10 mins, and walk around the block?? just getting fresh air and taking some nice breaths of it can help ease your mind. you WILL make it thru the next two weeks..i know it.
it sounds like you have so much going on, for sure.. when you reach your goal, and you WILL reach it you will only be stronger and appreciate it more for all you have gone thru to get there. im so glad you came here to vent..we are all in this together <3
Hi! Congratulations on breaking below 300, for trying and for being honest about where you're at. On the other hand, girl, you are way too hard on yourself. One thing that has helped me with body hatred is listening to weight loss hypnosis tapes (Steven Gurgevich). Even watching self-hypnosis /tapping exercises on You tube has helped on a difficult day! Even though I'm not skinny, I'm so much healthier because I am learning to replace body hatred with personal kindness. You don't have to hate yourself or your body to care for yourself. If anything, the reverse is true. When you realize your worth you will want to care for yourself. You are a beautiful woman. You as a whole person, heavy, skinny or somewhere in the middle, have something important to offer this world!
I hope you're feeling better this morning. I can empathize because I feel similarly overwhelmed when it's that time of the month. Usually, I can strike a decent balance between school, work, husband, household tasks, etc, but there's one day a month when I just fall apart. All of the worries and fears I contain during the rest of the month suddenly seem huge and unmanageable, and I just want to hide under my bed. Like for example, last month I had to take the rest of the day off work because I got frustrated at not being able to unlock the department mailbox. I didn't know if I was gonna cry or scream or open up a can of whupass on it. I was bested by a MAILBOX. Yeah.
Anyway, my point is to recognize that this is a vulnerable time of the month and be gentle with yourself. When I'm feeling fragile it helps to remind myself that a lot of what I'm feeling is due to my period and I just have to ride it out. Pamper yourself in little ways (a warm bath, for example)...You have a lot of stressors to handle but you can and will get through it!
Last edited by Lexalicious51201; 04-26-2010 at 08:51 AM.
Thank you everybody. I really really appreciate your kind words.
Lexalicious,
A warm bath sounds so wonderful. Unfortunately, I only have a shower stall in my house. Today I came home after my first class and took the rest of the day off. I came home, and just laid on the couch with my heating pad for about six hours. Watching TV, and napping. I'm still in awful shape, and feel terrible, but it was nice to just put everything on hold and just have some time to relax. I curled up in my new PJ pants, with my blanket and relaxed.
I'm trying to breathe everybody. It's going to be tough though. Thank you for all of your support.
Huge hugs from me, dear. Everything sounds (and is) a bit overwhelming now, I know, so treat yourself kindly. You will lose the weight and I happen to think you have a lovely face! I don't know if you have this where you are but some stores (like Lush) sell shower bombs...that with a cup of soothing tea and a heating blanket might go a long way.
When I'm overwhelmed sometimes I write myself lists (with one or two things on the list I've already accomplished for the day so I have something to immediately check off). It helps me feel more in control. Not sure if it would help or hurt with you.
Deep breaths. Even though it doesn't feel like it now, you will get through this and we are hear to listen.
I'm sorry, I need a major venting session. About everything.
you will only be stronger and appreciate it more for all you have gone thru to get there. im so glad you came here to vent..we are all in this together <3
