100 lb. Club - The Mental Wackjob - Do You Get Angry When You Eat Healthy?

This is going to sound weird (I feel like a lot of my thoughts start this way) but sometimes when I'm planning my meals, I get really, really angry.

I know we're "supposed" to feel better when we eat healthy, but really, I don't like salad. I'm not a big fan of broccoli. I don't get cravings for apples. When I eat healthy I just feel.. unsatisfied.

I want frigging chicken fingers and fries. When I want something bad and I chose something healthy instead, sometimes I just get upset. It feels like I'm being punished.

My head recognizes that chicken fingers and fries aren't good for me. And yet... still, furious, beyond! I know! Crazy!

There are things I don't care about - desserts, mainly. But today I started really healthy - steel cut oatmeal with pears and dates. And then I was teaching from 9:30-5 straight and by the time I got home, I had chicken fingers and fries. Now I HAD salmon and asparagus in the fridge. Just thinking about eating it pissed me off.

Anyway, I know all of you just LOVE your frigging veggies and can't wait to exercise twice a day. You're leaping and skipping to the gym! But that's not me. It's a fight every damn minute. And I'm fighting myself.

OK, that is my wackjob posting.

You are not alone. *hugs*

I'm sorry but I just HAD to laugh at the last paragraph... do you HONESTLY think that every single person here LOVES to eat their veggies instead of chicken fingers and fries every single time? And skips to the gym? Yah... no.

I had chicken breast/quinoa and broccoli for dinner last night. What did I really want? Pizza. Gooey ooey pizza. I had my chicken/quinoa/broccoli. I wanted... pizza... see what I mean?

Did I WANT my two hour walk last night? nope. I wanted to sit my arse on the couch and watch blu-rays on my new flat screen tv... but I went. And walked and felt good... but I would have rather watched tv.

Sometimes you do the things that you have to do because to NOT TO DO THEM is far too detrimental to your health... mentally and physically.

Now on the subject of chicken fingers and fries. What about dipping chicken breast tenders in egg whites, whole wheat flour and spices/herbs and baking them in the oven? Then take some potato (sweet potato would be better but even white is okay) cut into fry shapes, toss in a bucket with lid a T of olive oil and herbs/spices. Bake on a cookie sheet.

So now... you have your chicken tenders and fries.

and do you know what I HAD tonight for dinner? Pizza.

A whole wheat pita spread with 2 T tomato sauce. topped with 1/2 cup chicken breast, 1/4 cup each onion, red pepper and mushrooms and 1/4 cup shredded mozza. Bake.

Ooey gooey pizza.

;)

ps. You are NOT a whackjob ;)

I'm sorry but I just HAD to laugh at the last paragraph... do you HONESTLY think that every single person here LOVES to eat their veggies instead of chicken fingers and fries every single time? And skips to the gym? Yah... no.


AMEN!!!!

Yah....no.... I argue and fight with myself everyday, but it is a fight worth everything I got to give!

I second cfmama.... you are NOT a wackjob! ;) you are perfectly normal!

Definitely not a wackjob. We can all relate. Its a fight for all of us every minute. and sometimes we lose that fight but we get right back in the ring. I get angry all the time at my salad and broccoli and carrots. but in the end it will be worth it. and trust me, i know we all drag ourselves to workout even when we would rather be doing something else. so just know that you are not alone

I used to think I was crazy too. I thought I was an emotional basketcase.

I think I went into the field of psychology (earning a master's degree and almost went on for my doctorate) because I was hoping to understand and fix MYSELF.

I thought the diet-rage I felt was a symptom of some deep underlying psychological issues, and I spent more than three decades on (what I now believe was) a wild goose chase.

What I thought was mental, I know believe was mostly PHYSIOLOGICAL.

On a too-high carb diet, I am hungry all of the time. Crazy hungry. Full-to-bursting-and-still-hungry crazy hungry. The kind of hungry that I'd been told PROVED that I had emotional "issues."

It made sense, until I discovered that lower carb eating caused the hungry to disappear. If it had been caused by emotional "issues" it seems pretty unlikely to me that any diet could have fixed what counseling and therapy had not.

I'm just as convinced that my diet-rage often has a physiological component that is as strong or stronger than the strictly "emotional."

The reason I think so, is because I can largely prevent or at least shrink the rage, by taking a few precautions (during TOM, it's harder to control, so I'm guessing hormones play a role too).

If my blood sugar is low - or even if it just drops quickly (from eating something too high carb - which becaue of insulin resistance causes a sudden blood sugar spike followed by a sudden blood sugar drop), I get easily irritated and angry (and understatement). It's not just irritation and anger, it's an entirely insane rage (so bad during TOM, that hubby calls me "werewolf," if I'm not on the right birth control).

For me, I have to eat small, frequent meals or the rage becomes entirely overwhelming and I feel like I have two choices - eat off plan or HURT someone. It feels like my head is going to explode if I don't eat (carbs usually).

I'm getting better at recognizing the early stages of that irrational anger, and treating by eating. What I eat matters, so I try to pick something with a balanced proportions of fat, carbs and protein (because if it's too high in carbs, it will be just a short time before I have another spike).

My husband is actually better at recognizing the early signs than I am. He says when I start treating him like he's being a jerk, 9 times out of 10 it's a sign that I'm getting hungry (the other 1/10 of the time he's actually being a jerk).

I'm not saying this happens for everyone. But I do think that physiological causes for diet-rage should be explored BEFORE looking for mental ones. I wasted decades looking for a psychological problem that didn't exist.

Its a fight for all of us every minute. and sometimes we lose that fight but we get right back in the ring. ...trust me, i know we all drag ourselves to workout even when we would rather be doing something else.

Well...no, I wouldn't say this represents me, at all. Most minutes I am not fighting against myself over food or physical activity. Probably at least 90% of the time, actually, I actively desire to eat healthy food, find it extremely tasty and satisfying, and want to engage in the types of physical activity that I enjoy.

As kaplods points out, there are very often physiological (rather than psychological) causes to extreme hunger, mood swings, food cravings, low energy, etc. Eating too many white/refined carbs WILL make a person crave even more white/refined carbs; this is established fact. For many of us here, including these things in our regular diets is very much like willingly taking poison.

I would not be able to do what I am doing if it was a fight all the time. A big key to my success has been to find ways to make it not a fight. There are ways, if you seek them.

Obviously I love my salads. That's plainly why I weigh over 200 llbs. My FAT backside got that way eating salad and broccoli. The fact that I sat around and ate 3000-4000 calories a day while I did no exercise could not possibly have made me so stinkin' FAT. Must be all the exercise I love to do. It's so great to hurt like Hades everytime I have to do anything active.

Even worse than eating salad and forcing myself to exercise is being FAT. I CHOOSE to eat healthy food now and I CHOOSE to exercise because I do NOT want to stay FAT. You have a choice, too...and angry is irrelevant. You have to decide if you want to be FAT or keep doing something about it.

If you want to eat junk, then eat junk. Just realize that you can't have it both ways. Nobody can. I am angry too. At the part of me that just didn't nip this in the bud 90+ lbs ago.

Barb

Anyway, I know all of you just LOVE your frigging veggies and can't wait to exercise twice a day. You're leaping and skipping to the gym! But that's not me. It's a fight every damn minute. And I'm fighting myself.

:lol:

You are most definitely not alone in your feelings and you are not a wackjob!

I'm with cfmama - find healthier alternatives to some of your favorites that still allow you to eat better without feeling like you are being punished.

Focus on what's important in the long term, not want you want in the moment. Focus on your successes and have those help you through the times when you feel like saying 'screw it'. Also, find things that you love - both food and activity-wise - that fit your commitment to this better way of living.

Do I always follow that advice? No. But most times I do. And while some may disagree with me, I think it's OK to treat myself once in awhile. It helps me look at this as a long-term sustainable way of life rather than a short-term fix. I don't go crazy and binge eat like I used to, but on the weekend if we're out at a restaurant with friends and I want onion rings or to share a slice of cake or whathaveyou, and can fit it in calorically, then I do. And I don't regret it. And it helps me not feel angry and deprived the rest of the time.

:hug:

Oh I snickered when I read this post too. I would've laughed but then the kettle chips I was eating(all the while watching biggest loser I might add) might have went flying out my mouth and we can't have that can we....
As you can tell I am with you 100%. I am angry about eating stuff I don't want and its pretty clear by how I started this post I am not doing too well with my eating. Exercising when I don't want to. Watching people at work bring in fast food for lunch every flipping day. I am angry just in how my life has turned out so far. I DO NOT want to hear how people feel soooo much better after they exercise. I just consider THOSE people completely off their rocker!!!

But................as someone here has said before...........life is filled with doing things you don't want to do.....I don't always want to go to work, do dishes, do laundry, clean my house, and sometimes don't even want to take a shower but as adults its just what we have to do. So do it and at the end of the day and the end of your workout(my workout is at the end of the day and usually ends on the treadmill) stand at the end of your treadmill look at it, take position, and kick the damn thing!!!! And as you walk away say "yup I kicked your a@@ today buddy"

OMG i love this post so much LOL it's honest and real and something I can relate to!! SOoooo often I've felt out of place on here, simply because I didn't want to 100% overhaul every food item in my life - and I didn't!!! I've lost 126 lbs (FRACKIN ****! WOOT!) and I did it MY way, which includes eating 'regular' food, but a lot less of it. The spoiled child in me wants a heaping plate of mashed potatoes and meatloaf, but no, i take one small slice and a scoop of spuds and some veg and I'm done with it. I knew fast food was killing me, it's even killing skinny people I honestly believe that, but I did not revamp every single meal in my life to be healthy. More often than not, yes, I do pick healthy stuff because I want more bang for my calorie buck. but it's just like paying bills - YES I want those new shoes, but too bad the mortgage payment is due. You gotta make a choice, sux but there it is. You don't have to love it, you just have to do it :)

You know what really makes me grumpy? Having to get up for work at 6:00 am. I want to SLEEP IN. I'd much rather just sleep in than go to work, even though my alarm is set.

Cleaning the cat box makes me grumpy, why do those furry purry beasts have to poop so much? And throw the litter over the side!

And don't even get me started about flossing or getting the oil changed in my car or paying bills. Grrrr. I'd RATHER spend that money on cute sandals or a massage or that adorable dress (http://www.sundancecatalog.com/product/womens+clothing/womens+dresses/womens+short+dresses/aquatinte+dress.do?sortby=ourPicks) from Sundance. What would life be like if I came home and ordered that dress instead of paying the power bill, I mean, the money is in my account, it's right there, just like your healthy dinner was right there waiting for you!

Life isn't about getting what you want all the time. I have to go to work, I can't sleep in. I have to do errands and make dinner and clean the bathroom and crush all the stupid cans for stupid recycling.

It sounds like you don't really look forward to your "healthy" dinners, and frankly what you described for dinner does sound a bit on the blah side. My secret - I don't eat stuff I don't like. My dinners average around 500 calories (they are my biggest meal) because I want to look forward to dinner!

Some of my favorites:

3 blue corn crispy shells, spicy ground turkey (this is great because I can use the leftover for salads later in the week), a little low fat cheese, tons of salsa, tons of crisp lettuce - I looove taco night!

Home made pizza with a boboli whole wheat crust, a little spicy marinara, spinach leaves, sun dried tomato, roasted garlic, onions, a little low fat/fat free feta (I divide the pizza down the middle and make a "normal" version for my husband, works perfectly!)

Pork loin stir fry with tons of veggies (that I like! like carrots, baby corn, broccoli and no vegetables I don't like, like icky green peppers), over brown rice. I have this recipe with a yummy chicken broth, honey sauce. Love it!

Home made pasta sauce, I like my own pasta sauce better than any jarred and most restaurants. I use sun dried tomatoes and fresh basil. I measure the pasta 2 oz dry and it's so good! I like it with turkey meatballs.

Oh, here's my favorite salmon recipe - it's divine! I do look forward to it :)

Maple-glazed salmon

INGREDIENTS
1/4 cup maple syrup
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 pound salmon

DIRECTIONS
In a small bowl, mix the maple syrup, soy sauce, garlic, garlic salt, and pepper.
Place salmon in a shallow glass baking dish, and coat with the maple syrup mixture. Cover the dish, and marinate salmon in the refrigerator 30 minutes, turning once.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
Place the baking dish in the preheated oven, and bake salmon uncovered 20 minutes, or until easily flaked with a fork.

NUTRITION INFORMATION
Servings Per Recipe: 4
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 265
Total Fat: 12.4g
Cholesterol: 67mg
Sodium: 639mg
Total Carbs: 14.2g
Dietary Fiber: 0.1g
Protein: 23.1g

Well, toomuchmoxie, it looks like you just started on this... maybe you only just started on 3FC, though. In any case, I think you'll find that the longer you stay with the healthier eating, the less appealing those junk foods will be. That's the good news, btw!

I'd say, work it out so you are eating foods you like--as Glory87 said. If you don't like lettuce salads, don't eat them. I once was on a "diet" that had me eating a lot of eggwhite omelets and turkey breast. I despise eggwhites. I couldn't wait to get off that diet. (Which shows just how much commitment I had!) And I don't like turkey to this day! Oh, and I should add that any weight I lost was right back on in a short time. But you figured that out, eh?

As for the anger--I dunno--did your parents give you food every time you acted out? It could be that the "child within" is throwing a tantrum because it always worked before and got her the goodies. You are just going to have to sit that kid down and tell her she can yell all she wants, but this is what's for dinner... ;)

As for the exercise, yeah, we're all just skipping off to the gym... But that, too, gets better the longer you do it. Really.

Have confidence in what you're doing and stay with it. Things will change.

Jay

I'm going to stick my nose in here as someone who has lost 80 lb and tell you that it doesn't really change.

I still want to eat pizza and desserts and cookies and fries and all those other things that we know we aren;t supposed to have. I hate veggies and I never eat them.

The exercise thing I do actually quite enjoy now, but it's not so much the actual exercise of exercising, more the effect it has on my body. If I could have a runner's fit hard body without actually doing any of the running, I would in a second!!

I think personally it's more that I do sometimes have those things, I do sometimes have pizza and fries and desserts and chocolate and I love them!! And yes I kick myself when the scale goes up the next day.

But then I get back on the wagon and am good for a while and it comes off. I think you have to get used to the idea that most of the time you have to be good and sometimes you can allow yourself a treat. It's not "never" - it's "just not as often" and definitely not "all the time".

I am so not an example of healthy eating - I like white bread and white rice and pasta and cookies, and sometimes I miss a meal because I've snacked on too many cookies that day, or I've pigged a whole Easter egg.

But somehow I manage to claw it back and not put too much weight on. It's just about finding the right level.

My name's Robsia and I have an unhealthy relationship with food - still.

Accepting it means I can learn to live with it and deal with it, and not be angry at it.

Please, please, don't eat food you don't like to lose weight. Figure out foods you do like that can help you or healthier ways to cook chicken tenders and fries (yes it can be done).

Yesterday I caught a bit of Dr. Oz show and 3 ladies wanted to lose weight for their 20 year HS reunion and they were being shown a way to prepare salmon and veggies for dinner so they could have the leftovers for lunch the next day. I could not help thinking "yuck, wouldn't want to eat that for 1 meal, let alone 2".

Moxie...

I used to feel angry all the time. I felt like LIFE WAS UNFAIR because most people I knew seemed to be able to eat whatever they wanted and not gain weight. I DID notice that I ate a lot more than most people-- but that was because I WANTED more... other people didn't have to struggle every single day not to eat too much.... and that made me pissed, which made me feel sorry for myself... which gave me a terrific excuse to pig out on a regular basis...

The only thing I can say is that the beginning of the journey is totally different and MUCH HARDER than later on. That's why I never lost more than about 10 or 11 pounds for 20-odd years. At the beginning, any pay off for not eating the chicken fingers seems impossible and distant. The pay off for eating the chicken fingers is IMMEDIATE.

It takes a while of white knuckling through that choice feeling pissed and sorry for yourself. But then, after a while you start to see all these payoffs-- a slimmer body, better health, smaller clothes, lots of compliments, and then you start to have all these GOOD REASONS to make a good choice. And even then, most of us slip up from time to time.

I agree with what everyone here said-- you have to choose foods you like and that you feel you could live with long term.... Trazey's method of reasonable servings of the foods you usually eat might work for you, or my method of kicking the junk out of your diet and getting used to it might work. You can experiment. You have the rest of your life to experiment and get it right.

This really hits home to me. My underlying shame at my weight, and my anger at myself for "getting this way", my avoidance of clothes shopping and looking in the mirror and getting pictures taken of me... it's all part of my anger, frustration, and just general don't-wanna.

What REALLY has helped me is a book called the Four Day Win (http://www.amazon.com/Four-Day-Win-Achieve-Thinner/dp/1594866074), which focuses on Transtheoretical (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model)model of change, which looks at how people change behavior in a series of steps. Most diet plans start at the "action" step... what you do. This book helps you with the earlier steps, the contemplation and preparation steps, where you are getting ready to act. Yeah, of course, we've all been "contemplating" weight loss for years (I can't remember NOT thinking about it). But the key seems to be that thinking about it isn't all that happens in the contemplation step. In the book, you begin to slowly "make peace" with your body and its need for unhealthy food (and lots of it!).

For example, for years I have thought of myself as the Dictator, who is driving the weight change, who is desperate to be healthier, happier and leaner. My enemy is my body, the Wild Child who doesn't want to starve, who sabotages my efforts, who binges whenever the Dictator is stressed, ill, distracted, bored... not paying attention. And whenever I lose my focus, the Wild Child comes out in force, and I end up gaining again.

The exercises in the book have allowed me to acknowledge both the Dictator and the Wild Child, and realize I'm not either one of them. I'm watching them, but I'm not part of that struggle. Acknowledging and loving both of them is slowly allowing me to come to peace with the needs of both.

And with that peace, I find that I am less and less interested in binging or overeating, even when I'm stressed or my TOM is at hand.

It's certainly not a quick cure (or we'd all be thin!). But it definitely works on many of the deep-seated anger, frustration, and food issues that I've struggled with all my life, in a way like no other diet book I've read.

At first I thought it was much too "touchy-feely" fru-fru for me... but I muscled through some of the early exercises, and I just can't argue with the results.

I highly recommend that you borrow this book and read it, no matter what plan you are on.

A thought to consider.

It's okay to be angry, but just remember that you didn't get to 260 pounds by denying yourself of anything. In my case, I ate what I wanted when I wanted. I had many years of gluttony to remember and cherish. How wonderful it was to eat what I wanted when I wanted. It was great. I never got mad at myself after eating several pieces of pie...or most of a pizza...or an entire bag of mini candy bars. I deserved it. I always felt great when I was done. I never wished I wouldn't have eaten it.

I'd laugh at those people who ate healthy. I'd make fun of them and mock them. I'd sit there morbidly obease and love myself because I could eat what ever I wanted when I wanted. ;)

Good point, Lori. Sometimes, when I am craving something offplan (let's say I'm at Starbucks to get a skinny latte and I slowly peruse the pastry case thinking what I WANT to get), I remind myself that I had 20 years to eat whatever I wanted.

And it didn't make me a happy person.

My life isn't all plain salmon and deprivation - now that I'm at maintenance, I do have treats and desserts and dinners in restaurants. I was never big on fast food or fries or chicken strips, so those aren't my indulgences, but they could be. I think of calories like my budget, I save up for big ticket items and enjoy them thoroughly! It's easier to stay on plan during the week and eat my salads for lunch (which are yummy, but still - salads) knowing that I am going to a fancy 5 course tasting menu with paired wines on Saturday night!

Or how about dinner at Le Cirque? (http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2037938&id=1401845193&l=35d9a96616)

toomuchmoxie,
I don't have anything original to add to the wonderful replies that you have already been given, but I did want to emphasis that it gets better. I occasionally still have the days when I am get angry at eating healthy foods instead of junk but they are few and far between now. I also have a few days that I hate going to work but enjoy it most days. I still hate paying bills though! ;)

My mom, who has advanced pancreatic cancer--which we've been living/dealing with for the past year--gave to me an important insight a few months ago, from her ongoing spiritual/philosophical readings. I can't recall exactly which author this came from, but the idea was this: "The most basic level of spirituality is acceptance."

She is an alcoholic with 20 years of active recovery. I am a sugar addict with 2 years of active recovery. Part of recovering from my addiction is simply accepting that I am an addict--and that it is both physiological and psychological. I cannot change the fact that I am an addict, and I will never be cured of my addiction.

But, every day, I can live in a way which acknowledges and doesn't fight against my addiction, but doesn't give in to it, either.

Part of this is that, as others have pointed out, I am a responsible adult. If I could live my ideal life, unemployed on a tropical island, I'd get up late every morning, pluck some fruit from a tree, and laze around while enjoying the delights around me. But that's not my life. Rather, my life involves the responsibilities of being the sole breadwinner for my family--providing emotionally and physically for my husband, 3 children, and sometimes my mom. There are a lot of people relying on me, and I need to be physically / mentally / emotionally ready and strong and capable to take care of them.

This is a choice. I could make other choices--I could quit my job, eat sugar and fat all the time, sit on my booty and watch TV and play on the computer, ignore my children and husband, neglect my mom. The universe / God / whatever higher power you want to believe in will allow me to make those choices, if I want. No one is stopping me, but me.

I actively choose the healthy way I am living. It is my choice. I accept that it is my choice, my power, mine alone to decide. No one chooses for me.

Every one of us always has the complete power of choice in our lives. You can accept that--or you can fight it. But if you accept it, and make the choice you really want, then you will be happier and more fulfilled.

Not much to add, other than that eating things you hate that much is a recipe for disaster. There's a lot of healthy food in this world, most of it reasonably priced, to boot. Surely you can find something you have less than lettuce salad.

I don't always love what I eat, or always want to move... But 80% of the time I love my eating plan and the remaining 20% of the time I mindfully eat more moderately, but always keeping an eye on what I love MOST - my health and the quality of life I gain by sucking it up and disciplining myself to eat in a way that honors my body more than my inner two year old.

I don't really struggle with the anger you mention, but that's because I DO eat fries on occasion, and pizza too. I eat in a way that balances flexibility and health, by adopting only the healthy habits I know I can keep up through all stages of life.

So yeah, I eat some pizza. But it's a measured quantity, and usually accompanied by a mango or strawberries, salad, and a yogurt or roasted potato with vinegar. It fits within my daily calories, and it's an INFREQUENT thing. If 80% of the time I eat in a way that gives me the body I want, and 20% of the time I plan in a more relaxed type of food or meal, then my body WILL reflect that I spend most of my time living for my health and the scale DOES go down.

The beginning is always harder, but learning to love your lifestyle so that the rewards of health outweigh the rewards of naughty food, is key to success. Hatred and frustration gain you nothing of use, try not to waste your mental energy on such an emotional drain.

Anyway, I know all of you just LOVE your frigging veggies and can't wait to exercise twice a day. You're leaping and skipping to the gym!

Ummm, not quite. About half of this is true. I do love a lot of vegetables -- the roasted ones, above all, when they get carmelized on the edges -- but I am not skipping to the gym, though I do feel compelled to go & I try not to miss a day, if I can. But I don't do this light-heartedly.

I do it out of fear. The alternative really scares me.

I was fat for so long that I started to have health problems. I was going to get diabetes & had what I thought might be heart palpitations. The doctor was checking me for arterial blockage. For me, hearing my doctor say what my life might look like in 10 years was like being told I had a disease, but there's still hope ... and that would be, not from a pill, but from stopping eating like I was still a teenager & could consume everything whenever I wanted, in one long snack-time from morning to night.

Dying is frightening. I saw my father die of stomach cancer, which may have been due partly to his bad eating habits. He choked on his own bile, since he was being flooded by it & he basically smothered slowly, with me & my mother frantically holding his head & trying to raise & lower his hospital bed & wiping at his chin with towel after towel. It is an awful way to die. Believe me, if you saw how his life ended, you wouldn't want that kind of ending for youself.

The idea that I could avert a death like that by eating & exercising was really very motivating for me. Wanting wellness very badly was enough to make me learn more about foods & nutrients & yes, vegetables, and look up recipes, and learn how to cook things (yes, I had to look up how to cook an artichoke the first time, in the "how to cook vegetables" section of the "how to" series on the Web).

I have thought of my obesity & my overeating as an illness. That was why I finally treated it. It didn't come easily; it still doesn't. But I am less frightened about my health than I was 100 pounds ago. That was worth it.

I do not know if you've had any health scares. I hope you have not. But believe me, they can be tremendously motivating.