Weight Loss Support - I've been trying to keep it inside but..




jkinboston89
04-13-2010, 09:24 AM
I'm sorry.. this is going to be a total rant:

I really hate complaining and I've been trying not to dwell on it but I'm working so darn hard and the results are just not matching my effort.

I started in September on 1200 healthy calories a day, exercising 1 hour/day. I lost the first 70 fairly quickly and without complications. Since the end of January (the week my grandmother passed away actually) I've been creeping along, going sloooower and sloooooooooower. At first, when I noticed in January/February it was just a little slower, but it's been declining since and now I'm lucky if I lose a pound every 2 weeks. I feel as though it is finally all together stopping. Where is my deficit going??? I just don't know what to do. I've played around with changing so many things:

Currently I wake up every morning and work out HARD for 1 hour. This is a switch I made from working out at night. I also tried working out for 1.5 hours a day, but I felt like I was totally doing it for nothing. People often suggest not enough calories which I don't think makes sense, since it worked before and now I require less calories, but I reluctantly went up to 1500 for a little while: nothing. I tried zig zagging: nothing. I tried fewer carbs/more protein: nothing. More fiber: nothing. More water: nothing. More magical/wishful thinking lol: Yup, still nothing. It's just going SLOWER and SLOOOWER. I am NOT cheating. I'm measuring everything. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with my body. Especially since I thought I'd look better by now. I probably have a large fat % because there's still SO much fat covering the muscle. But that's hard to understand because I do a lot of strength training, so I figured that at this weight, with all the strength training, I would look better than the "average" not working out person, but I don't.

And what really gets to me the most, and I know it shouldn't, is when people talk about cheating on their eating plans and neglecting their exercise, but they still lose weight consistently. I know it shouldn't make me mad and I'm not mad toward them, just toward myself :( It really puts me over the edge. I wouldn't care whatsoever about it if I myself was actually losing, but seeing that just completely defeats me when I work so hard to have a healthy menu everyday and work my butt off everyday for 1 measly little pound.

I realize I sound like a whiny brat but I just don't know what to do with myself...

help!


end rant


CharlieBaby
04-13-2010, 09:32 AM
First - congratulations on your wonderful weight loss that you've already accomplished! 70 lbs is a LOT!

Secondly - I don't think you need to apologize for ranting. If people don't want to read your rant, they don't have to click on this thread. Weight loss is hard, and frustrating at times, and we're all on this board for the same basic reason - to lose weight, be healthier, change our lifestyle - something along those lines. So we can relate.

Third - I don't have any magical advice for you. It sounds like you're trying a lot of different tactics. But even though it's slow weight loss - which at this stage, isn't surprising since you're close to goal, and it's good to lose slowly - it's still a loss, right? Maybe slow and steady is just how it's going to be.

Fourth - Can you find a picture of you when you started this journey? And compare it to a recent picture (don't look in the mirror, use a real picture) and see the differences? It's not always easy to see the changes our bodies make, and while you feel that you don't look as good as you'd like, maybe you're not getting a clear view of yourself.

Fifth - good luck, and stick with it.

jkinboston89
04-13-2010, 09:57 AM
Thank you ladies so much! It really does help to have a dose of reality! :)

Charliebaby: The pictures do help, and I have some that I look at, but the problem for me is how I look under my clothes :/ I love the way I look in clothes now, but I have the same body I started with (just smaller) underneath. I don't know what I was expecting lol, but I probably thought I wouldn't look prego at 160. I carry sooo much weight in my tummy.

Robin: You're absolutely right. Nothing will change once I get to goal. And I honestly DO enjoy eating the way I do and working out. I really DO! It's totally maintainable and I know I'm an impatient person, but I wanted to be able to start my internship this May being a different person, having a different image. I'm just starting my career and I wanted to project a certain look. I wanted to be able to buy clothing for this particular look but I don't think I'll be able to. I know it seems sort of trivial, but it was really something I was looking forward to. I'm sure I can buy some things that will fit now and later, but I really wanted to just be known as thin, not as a work in progress lol. Oh and btw I may have made those people up in my head lol, the ones that lose weight while cheating. I don't know.. I feel like I hear it all of the time, not just on this forum but in real life. However, I don't REALLY know what these people do behind closed doors and I think I may be subconsciously exaggerating lol

Anyway I know you ladies are right, and I'm proud of myself. I just want to move on with my healthy life and not obsess over the scale, but I can't make myself not obsess lol! I think I just need a hug...


Beverlyjoy
04-13-2010, 09:57 AM
I pretty much agree with that rockinrobin said.

"One measely pound" is equal to 4 sticks of butter!!!! That's alot

I am sorry your weight loss is slowing down. Don't give up.

Go ahead and rant....it feels good!

time2lose
04-13-2010, 10:14 AM
Beverlyjoy originally posted "One measely pound" is equal to 4 sticks of butte!!!!

This thought, that I heard here before, has really helped me. Almost every time I am at the grocery store, I pick up a pound of butter and picture it on my body and then picture it leaving. It helps me realize that every pound is important.

SCraver
04-13-2010, 10:50 AM
Holey moley! You weigh 161 at 5'9"! I would bet money that you look better than you think you do.

You say you do strength training but aren't seeing the results you thought you would? You should try some heavier weights (not sure what kind of weight you are using now). Don't be afraid of big weights. Women don't tend to bulk up (not enough testosterone) but the added muscle will help you keep burning more calories. 5lb weights aren't going to get you the results you want - you need 10 - 15lb weights! I have been using 12lb weights and believe me when I say, I am not "bulking" up.

MablesGirl
04-13-2010, 10:52 AM
jkinboston - I am so proud of you for losing 96 pounds already! That is a major, major accomplishment and you are so close to your goal! Just because you haven't made it to this number that you decided was your goal (145), you have still accomplished incredible things, and are so much healthier than when you started. Think of all the things you can do now that you couldn't back then! Think of the non scale victories you own.

____________________________
Goal # 1 = Lose 10 pounds

beerab
04-13-2010, 10:54 AM
You are so close to goal it's just going to be harder to get those last few pounds off.

fashinjunkie09
04-13-2010, 10:57 AM
I agree with what everyone has already said! You're doing wonderful- do not give up because you will get there one "measley" pound at a time! ;)

Eliana
04-13-2010, 11:06 AM
I have the same body I started with (just smaller) underneath.

I get this. It's very weird. How is it possible to make such dramatic changes dressed and revert back to pound 0 naked. I've heard several women observe the same thing about themselves. Our bodies do just seem to proportionately shrink. But come on now...how many people see you naked? ;)

It seems to me you've hit those last stubborn pounds. Rant away! That's what we're here for! :D

Polishwonder
04-13-2010, 11:19 AM
I envy you for one! I just started this weightloss journey and only wish I had the determination you do. Sometimes our bodies determine our end weight. You may be losing slower because your body is saying "Hey Lady! I'm doig what I can, but we need to stay heathy here." You wouldn't want to lose these last few pounds fast anyway. your body needs to adjust to the new amount of calories needed. I would just be happy to continuously lose.
I lost my motivation in October when I injured my knee. I've gained almost 15 pounds since then. I need to get on the train you are on. Please don't lose hope! people like me need to hear your sucess stories so we can say to our selves. "I want to do that too".

You're doing great...

shenfan90
04-13-2010, 11:21 AM
When I hit a plateau point, this helped me. I would suggest taking an entire week off and do the following:

Don't exercise for the whole week. Also, try to eat your maintenance calorie amount for the entire week as well.

After that week is over, start exercising again, and clash your calories by 500 per day, or whatever deficit you had before. For me at least, it was almost like a "reset" button to do this. Whether this works for everyone, I'm not sure, but it did for me.

Fat Pants
04-13-2010, 11:30 AM
I don't have much to add because I think robin pretty much hit on it, but I just wanted to tell you that I can relate. And yes, it is frustrating. I lost the first 50 fairly quickly and then.....? The last 25 came off very slowly. I figured that would happen when I had 10 lbs or something left to lose, but 25? Eek! To give you an idea, it took me 7 months to lose the first 50 and 6 months to lose the last 25. Some weeks, there was no loss, and yes..that is frustrating and can get disheartening. I also saw people who seemed to be losing much faster than I did... just kind of like salt in the wound.

But I looked at it this way: if I ended the month at a lower weight than when I started the month, then I succeeded. Even if it was just one pound! And what other option did I have but to keep going? It's not like I was going to just give up after losing 50 lbs just because things were moving more slowly.

Eventually I did get there. Yeah, it was later than I had anticipated, but I did get there, and the journey was worth it. Keep at it...you're doing the right thing. :)

shenfan90
04-13-2010, 11:45 AM
Oooh, I respectfully disagree that this is something the OP should do. Taking off a week of exercise? Creating LESS of a deficit??? Raising ones calories? Creating LESS of a deficit??? I don't see how this could be helpful, especially give that the OP is NOT on a *plateau* as she IS still losing.

Ah, I think I misread it. It sounded like she was basically just plateauing out, or basically heading towards that point, and not losing anymore, or very little at all.

I just said it did help me. I took a week off exercise, and instead of eating 2,000 calories per day I ate 2,500 (maintenance). Then after the week, I went back to exercising (which was more difficult because I had an entire week off), started to sweat a lot more, and got that "sore" feeling back that you get when you know you got a good workout. But like I said, it might not work for everyone! I think what happens is you're body adapts to your exercise routine and calorie intake overtime, so this seemed to have helped restart it.

Eliana
04-13-2010, 11:59 AM
Shenfan, I'm not certain it can happen that quickly, but I wonder if you lost some muscle during the week you did not exercise. I know as much as 40% of what is lost can be muscle loss while losing weight. That would explain why it was harder to get back to it.

bargoo
04-13-2010, 12:25 PM
94 pounds lost !!!That is outstanding. You are actually within a healthy range for your height. It is normal when we get closer to goal to see a slowdown in our loss. It happened to me and it has happened to others. Stick with it and you will get to goal. Have you checked out the featherweights forum, it deals with those last stubborn pounds. Don't give up , it will happen.

catherinef
04-13-2010, 12:37 PM
I'm pretty much in the stretch right now, and the going has been very slow. And I am not slacking at all; if anything, I am working harder than ever. I was driving myself almost to tears over it until recently, when I started landscaping my garden. I've spent the last few days out there, digging beds, spreading what feels like tons of mulch, lifting deeply-entrenched roots from the ground, pounding in edging, etc. On top of all this, I've also kept up with my regular chores, and I've been on the go from the moment I get up at about 5:30 am, until I splodge out mid-evening. It's been a heck of a workout. :)

And yet, for all this really heavy, physical labour, and sticking to a stringent calorie budget, my weight has continued to bounce between 191 and 192. But you know what? I CAN do this kind of heavy, hard (and intensely enjoyable) work. For hours and hours, with only infrequent breaks to refuel and pop online for a few minutes, to check e-mail and here and such.

These busy days have changed my perspective quite a lot on the slow scale progress. It's made me realize, that for all practical purposes, I'm already THERE. Oh yes, I plan on taking off this last 16 pounds, but I'm already living the after picture. I look good. I am fit, and getting fitter all the time. But I'm also, for the moment, done beating myself up for not losing weight more quickly. I am just continuing on, doing the things I know work, and letting my body do its thing, in terms of when it releases the remaining poundage. Because I haven't done all this really hard work, haven't changed my life so radically only to hate myself for something that isn't completely in my control. I can do the work. I can count the calories and exercise and that's all I CAN do, short of doing something really stupid, like dropping my calories dangerously low, at a time when I am burning them like crazy.

Sometimes, particularly when you're getting pretty close to goal, it just goes slowly, and getting upset over it is natural, but it truly isn't doing you any good. You know how much you're putting into it, and there's no authority you can appeal to because it isn't fair. All you can do is continue LIVING and enjoying your life as much as possible, because as has been said up in the thread, you're really not going to be doing anything all that much differently when you do get to goal.

bargoo
04-13-2010, 01:15 PM
I thought I was NEVER going to lost those last ten pounds and almost raised my goal weight , out of frustration. Thankfully I didn't do that and I did reach goal. My advice to anybody who is upset about losing those last few is "Do not give up".

CarbsAreEvil
04-13-2010, 01:20 PM
You're about 15 pounds away from your goal. It's going to be much harder for you to lose the weight, maybe it's time to crunch down on your diet just a little more. When you were bigger, 1200 calories were definitely going to take the fat off, but now that you're smaller, 1200 might be just enough to maintain. I know what the calculators and the bmr stuff says, but that doesn't always work for weight loss.

*And I've found that upping your calories only works temporarily and that if you're greatly restricting calories.

cestlavie22
04-13-2010, 01:23 PM
one question. are you getting enough sleep? lack of sleep can also slow your weight loss.

caryesings
04-13-2010, 01:41 PM
These busy days have changed my perspective quite a lot on the slow scale progress. It's made me realize, that for all practical purposes, I'm already THERE. Oh yes, I plan on taking off this last 16 pounds, but I'm already living the after picture. I look good. I am fit, and getting fitter all the time. But I'm also, for the moment, done beating myself up for not losing weight more quickly. I am just continuing on, doing the things I know work, and letting my body do its thing, in terms of when it releases the remaining poundage. Because I haven't done all this really hard work, haven't changed my life so radically only to hate myself for something that isn't completely in my control. I can do the work. I can count the calories and exercise and that's all I CAN do, short of doing something really stupid, like dropping my calories dangerously low, at a time when I am burning them like crazy.

Sometimes, particularly when you're getting pretty close to goal, it just goes slowly, and getting upset over it is natural, but it truly isn't doing you any good. You know how much you're putting into it, and there's no authority you can appeal to because it isn't fair. All you can do is continue LIVING and enjoying your life as much as possible, because as has been said up in the thread, you're really not going to be doing anything all that much differently when you do get to goal.

Brilliant! This is exactly my thinking.

kaplods
04-13-2010, 01:42 PM
If you're going to look at weight loss as a race, comparing yourself to other people, you need to compare yourself to real people, not imaginary people (the ones losing weight fast without trying). You need to know that you're not trailing behind "everyone else," you're far, far in the lead. Most people never get to the point in the race that you're now in (because they give up, and usually because they started comparing themselves to all the imaginary people they imagined ahead of them).

Weight loss is still often a very silent marathon. You don't know how many people are running, and you don't see the runners ahead and behind. For every person you see running ahead of you, there are a thousand running behind. You'll see some of those people if you look for them (they've made posts similar to yours), but a lot of them are hidden, because they too think they're failing and either have dropped out of the race, or are lurking because they don't want to admit it.

You do need to know that you're in the lead though. You're doing great not terrible. 1/2 lb loss per week is an acheivment many much heavier racers would kill for.

Even for the folks who legitimately aren't losing as much as the "average" person - this isn't a race with prizes only for speed. Everyone who keeps going wins, and the only losers are those who abandon the race.

Too often we see the end number as the reward, and don't notice the rewards along the way. If you don't lose anyother pound, list all of the rewards you've gained because of the loss.

Even though I still have most of my weight to go, and even though I've lost far less than a pound per week during the journey, I can list dozens of ways that I am winning. I no longer have sleep apnea, I can shop in a large store without needing to lean on the grocery cart, I can shower normally without a shower chair, I can wash my hair with two lathers and a conditioner (at my heaviest, I couldn't hold my hands over my lead long enough to wash my hair normally). I can sleep for more than an hour without waking in pain. I can sleep on my back without suffocating. And there are dozens more I can list, but won't because you don't need to know my race, you only need to know your own.

How far have you come? What have been your prizes along the way? What have you gained that is worth keeping even if you never lost a single further pound?

That's the motivation that will keep you going. If a specific number is the only goal you're seeing, you're going to judge everything by whether or not you see that number. Judge by how far you've come, and you're not going to want to abandon that. Even maintenance (and I shouldn't even add the even, because there's no "even" about it) - maintenance is a reward, and not just when you've lost it all. Maintenance is the biggest reward in my life, because I've never had that before. I was always either losing rapidly or gaining rapidly. Now I've been losing slowly, and for many months of my weight loss I've been maintaining - but maintaining the loss has been the largest reward of "this time" for me, because I never had that before (and I never valued it either - there was only losing and gaining).

time2lose
04-13-2010, 03:46 PM
kaplods, what a wonderful post! I helps me and probably others too.

jkinboston89
04-13-2010, 04:29 PM
WOW! I want to thank EACH of you dearly!!! I've read every single word twice (at least). I think I'll make a print out of this for myself in case I wake up tomorrow morning with amnesia as always lol!

You are all incredibly kind! Here's what I've taken away:

I think what I'll do is focus on my accomplishments thus far, as many of you have suggested and keep myself busy. I'll try to picture every pound as a stick of butter ;)

I also will try strength training with heavier weights and I'll also try getting more sleep (I've been wanting to do the latter for some time now)! Other than that, I know I just have to wait it out. Perhaps I am a featherweight now. I guess I still see myself as so far away that I don't see it as "the last 15 pounds" but it really is.

I do need to stop seeing it as a race. Kaplods you have me pegged quite well, I am very competitive and it's something I do consciously work on. So far, I can only change my behavior; not my thinking lol :)

All I know for sure is that there's NO WAY I will give up. There is NO CHANCE of that. And in that way, I know that I have "won" the race.. my own race :)

Anyway, thank you so much! This should definitely be considered a form of therapy.

Hugs to you ALL!

kuhrisuh
04-13-2010, 08:03 PM
I just wanted to say thank you for posting this thread, because I think I'm getting to that same point. It's crazy because we started out at pretty close to the same weight, I've lost 70 lbs so far, and I'm just a little heavier than you right now. My weight loss has stalled over the past week.. and I know it will just get slower the smaller I get, so I've been thinking/worrying about it a lot I guess. But reading all the things you've said and all the other replies has really helped soo THANK YOU! :)


Good luck with reaching your goals, we can do this!!!

LouisaH
04-14-2010, 03:48 AM
JK, I just looked you up to see where you were, because I was inspired by your mini-goal photos and your amazingly fast progress. You reached your healthy BMI weight March 11th, which means you lost 8 pounds in just over a month. ! That's only slow compared to your previous progress. That means you have to stop comparing the new you to the old you!

I totally get where you're coming from because I did the same thing last month. I had set my sights on 10 pounds per month and did it the first month I started, in January. The second month was February, a short month, and I didn't reach it, so I planned to lose the ten pounds and the extra three from the month before. I got myself worked into a little tizzy that I wasn't losing quickly enough because I had scheduled it in my calendar, dammit! lol

Then I looked back over the past month and realized I was really only a couple pounds behind, and figured if I didn't get used to this, I was going to be miserable forever, because this is life now. I decided for April that I wasn't going to let myself expect a loss every time I stepped on the scale, which I still do every morning (twice!). Now I'm happy and relaxed, because I know I'm doing everything right, but I'm enjoying it more. I've lost 5 pounds so far in April and that was even with a visit from TOM and getting sick with a cold and having to do my taxes! I just am feeling a general sense of well being because I'm so happy that I've made this commitment. Attitude is everything.

For a workout routine that looks like it would definitely make a difference on your body, check out the website bodyrock.tv and watch a couple of her videos. Holy crap if I can ever do SOME of that I will be happy. Keep rockin' it, you're doing great!

Shmead
04-14-2010, 08:07 AM
And what really gets to me the most, and I know it shouldn't, is when people talk about cheating on their eating plans and neglecting their exercise, but they still lose weight consistently. I know it shouldn't make me mad and I'm not mad toward them, just toward myself :( It really puts me over the edge. I wouldn't care whatsoever about it if I myself was actually losing, but seeing that just completely defeats me when I work so hard to have a healthy menu everyday and work my butt off everyday for 1 measly little pound.



You've gotten a lot of great advice already, but I want to point out one potentially unhealthy thought pattern you have going on here. If this doesn't describe you (and I don't know you--this is a guess), feel free to ignore it.

We often attach moral values to being overweight. Eating and food choices are fraught with complex emotions: guilt and shame and secret pleasure and anger (at ourselves, but also over not getting what we want). I really think all this emotional stuff makes staying on plan more difficult because every choice becomes an emotional one.

Many, many people get obsessed with perfection. I think the thinking goes like this--"If I do everything right, if I am exactly perfect, I am a good girl and I deserve to lose weight. If I am not perfect, I am a bad girl, and that explains why I haven't lost any weight." We get almost ritualistic about it, like the diet and exercise and water intake and vitamins are the steps to please the diet gods, and as long as it's performed perfectly, the diet gods are supposed to be pleased and grant us weight loss. When they do not, we feel angry and betrayed. This makes it harder to stay on plan. If perfection didn't work, why bother with anything?

The fact is, though, there are no diet gods: just biology. Bodies are complicated things, and there are many variables outside our control--not to mention the bad data we get from unreliable scales and water retention. Sometimes we can't find the reason why we drop slower or faster or not at all for a while, but over time the weight does seem to come off.

I dunno. For me, getting rid of the emotion of it made the whole process so much easier. Renounce the diet gods. This isn't about being good or bad.

Priscatip
04-14-2010, 02:26 PM
I have no advice. Only want to tell you that your 96 pound loss is greatly inspiring, and to tell you that I feel EXACTLY the same way at almost the same weight as you now, and now every time I want to ***** and whine and rant about being stuck here, I will think of you and the 96 pounds you've lost and shut my mouth. Thank youl