Weight Loss Support - So frustrated...can you see a difference?

04-11-2010, 09:06 AM
I still feel like I can't do this! I've lost 60 lbs. Yay, no small feat, but at the same time I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I've been struggling this last month. Really struggling, gaining weight struggling.

It started off with my boss giving me treats in the form of cookies, cakes, dinner, daily for two weeks. Right so I have no willpower when it comes to saying no to her so I ate, and ate, and ate some more. Then I got into the mindset well I've already screwed up, why not continue to eat what I want and just get back on track the next day. Well the next day came and went and I was still eating poorly. I went on a vacation where I let myself eat whatever I wanted. Now here I am, off the wagon and frustrated.

People sometimes think it should be easy for me. I've lost 60 lbs, I should know what I'm doing. Honestly, I don't. I do know how to make smart decisions. I know that I should be eating better. But I can't mentally get back in the game. I think I am to afraid with the end result, and not getting there by the time I want. I still feel like I haven't made any progress. I don't see a difference in myself, nor in photo's. The not seeing results is really getting to me. I thought I had this figured out a few months ago, thought I saw results, but now I think that I've regressed.

Does anyone know of any good ways to get back in the game mentally?

04-11-2010, 09:20 AM
You are so pretty!!!
I am having some of your same problems and the thing that is helping me is my food journal. And giving myself Mondays to start over. I do my best day but sometimes come up short so on Monday morning I will say to self, "Self it is a new week and a chance to have the best week yet." So far I am at least not gaining. I am glad you started this thread and I will be watching closely to see what the chicks have to say. There are some really smart chicks around.

04-11-2010, 09:25 AM
Um. Are you saying that you can't see the difference between those two pictures of you?

(How can I say this nicely? Are. You. Nuts????????)

Your shoulders and arms are a quarter-sized smaller, your inner thigh/leg more curved and defined, your stomach is much *much* smaller---Good Lord, in those teeny tiny pictures even your HANDS and FINGERS look smaller.

But hey. Don't believe me. Look at your own face (yeah, smaller. Do I glimpse cheekbones?). Now look at the expression on your face.

You're smiling.

Enough said.

04-11-2010, 10:06 AM
The difference is tremendous.

Let me tell you something--I hit the doldrums at exactly the same spot 225-215 or so. It's a terrible, terrible weight for people of our height. You start comparing yourself to "normal" people for the first time in years and year, and you go (in your head) from being "thin compared to all the other fat people" to "fat compared to all the normal people". You've done a ton of work, hardest thing in your life, and you look in the mirror and still see a fat person. It just destroys you.

PLEASE push past this. The next 30 pounds are amazing. You are about to be in the range where every 5 or 10 pounds makes a noticeable difference and it's sweeter than I can say.

As far as your boss goes, I would sit her down in a time/place where there is no food and say "My doctor says I will DIE if I keep eating like this. I just can't have treats at all, ever. Please quit offering them to me, I just don't have the willpower to disappoint you.' Do NOT bring this up when she is offering a treat, because she will get defensive and try to justify what she is doing. Bring it up when there isn't anything at stake. And then don't eat treats at work, period. Make work a place where you are perfect, since treats there seem to snowball. If you are having an indulgence (which is fine, from time to time) don't do it at work or with work people.

04-11-2010, 11:06 AM
Thank you all!

toobig, I think you are on the right track with food journaling. I think that starting Monday I will give this a try.

hiya, I think I am nuts! Sometimes I see it, other times I don't. After reading your comments I focused on looking at the areas you outlined....and I see a difference. I guess I'm just so used to seeing me that I didn't really notice the changes.

Shmead, I think you summed up all of my feelings. I have been comparing myself a lot lately to normal people and thinking that I will never look like them. I feel like my accomplishments in loosing the 60 lbs are for nothing because here I am still obese. But you are right. I need to push through. I'm so glad that you commented because you have been in my situation and I see that you have made amazing progress, it was the insight that I needed to get off my pity party and kick my butt into gear.

04-11-2010, 12:28 PM
First of all the difference in those two photos is INCREDIBLE!!! I can see a tremendous difference, can't you?

Secondly, I've been there. This journey is four years in the making for me including a pregnancy that I packed back on 50 of the 70 lbs I had lost. After my son was born I just couldn't get back to it. But finally I said ENOUGH! And I dug my heals in a just got back to it. The hardest part is that first couple weeks then the lbs start coming off again and you remember why this journey is so great and worth it. The second thing that really worked for me and got the scale really moving again was swichting to calorie counting/journaling. This really opened my eyes to what I was eating and understanding what it really means to change your lifestyle. I also learned how to fit in treats if I REALLY wanted them. If I REALLY want that piece of cake well then there are going to have to be sacrifies elsewhere in my day and usually it's just not worth it.

Lastly, it took several lbs for me to finally not feel fat any more, like probably 100. I know that is not comforting, but it really just comes with the territory, for me anyway. You just have to hang in there and KNOW that you can do this and that eventually if you stick with this you WILL get there. I know it's tough, trust me I KNOW, but it really is worth it.

04-11-2010, 01:42 PM
I could see a big difference.. Hope you get back in track..

04-11-2010, 01:57 PM
HUGE difference! You look amazing :hug:

04-11-2010, 02:05 PM
I definitely see a huge difference. A 60lb loss is no small feat, it's a huge accomplishment. Next time you are at a store, head back to the pet section. Pick up a 50lb bag of dog food or a 40lb bin of cat litter. Think about the fact that you have lost more than either of those products. That is the weight you were carrying around on a daily basis. Just be patient with your mind, it take a little while for it to catch up.

04-11-2010, 02:12 PM
I totally know how you feel. Last weekend I had a mini-meltdown. I couldn't find ANYTHING to wear for Easter. My clothes are too big and I just felt like I looked "frumpy" and shapeless in everything. So I started crying about how I hate my clothes and I hate that I still look just as fat and slobby as I did 35 lbs ago. "I can't see a difference!" Wah wah. BIG time pity party.

My poor husband! He actually went in the back of the closet and found a pair of my old capris that were a size smaller and told me to put them on. They fit! He said "There. I SEE the difference in you, I don't know why you don't believe me." So I got over myself and am moving on :)

As far as your pics, as everyone else said...BIG difference! I think it's just so hard to see ourselves outside of our own eyes and it takes our brains a while to catch up with our bodies.

You look great and deserve a big CONGRATS on all your hard work so far. I can't wait to get to your weight :)

Alice J
04-11-2010, 02:51 PM
I think you should stop looking at others as a comparison to you. You should embrace how far you have come. Praise yourself...start to
believe in yourself. You have taken a giant step towards your goal and that is what you should see, not how other "normal" people look compared to you. Pat yourself on the back and say great job, then focus on the next giant leap. You are beautiful, but you have to believe!

Sit that boss down and let her know that she is doing you no favours with all this crap food. Try to get her to start eating healthy so you can support each other. If, she doesn't want to play, then tell her at the very least that if she wants your best work, junk food needs to stay the **** away from you.:smug:

Best of luck,

04-11-2010, 05:35 PM
Oh wow, you look so different! And I agree you are very pretty.

I always say I have a trick mirror. I've lost a lot of weight but I look in the mirror and often I see the 278 pound old me. I recently put new progress pics on my blog and after looking at them 50 times I suddenly SAW that I do look way smaller. But it is very hard to see it for myself. So consider that... we have some kind of body dysmorphic thing going on where we can't see that change! But trust others, when we tell you that there is a huge difference!

04-11-2010, 05:41 PM
theres a big difference! Your legs are much smaller as well as your waste! great job!!

04-11-2010, 05:42 PM
A good friend of mine was just chatting with me about this yesterday. She too has lost 60lbs but can't see it. The difference is SOOOOOO noticeable but she just doesn't get it yet. I think it takes some time. So yes, we can all see the difference in your photos. Keep up the good work!! :hug:

04-11-2010, 05:43 PM
You look great!!! There is A LOT of differences between the 2 photo's! Keep your head up. Don't look back....just move on from here.

04-11-2010, 05:53 PM
Shmead is wise. ;) You are just coming to a place where you will start to notice changes with much less of a loss. You do reach a sudden sweet spot where smaller amounts of weight lost make bigger results. You go from getting less fat to actually seeing yourself smaller. It's a great feeling.

And there is a big, big difference in those photos. ;) Both of them are beautiful, but the second one is smaller. :D