I have been pretty absent from this site...I LOVE 3fatchicks but I have been unable to be on the site due to health problems. I have some goals to get better and heal myself...one of my goals is to return to 3FC and on my wellness/recovery to do list....I came up with several things or activities to become well again and 3FC is on this list. I have a goal to come to 3FC everyday and at least read some posts and try to post.
Long story made short, I have a form of bipolar disorder and I am very good at maintaining my stability but sometimes no matter what I do I will have a breakdown. I am going to focus on the positive....it has been nine years since my last breakdown. I think that is pretty damn good and I will focus on positive changes I need to make, etc. You gals are great here....I have been on psych meds for 25 years now and these meds, although they help and I do need them to function, most of them cause weight gain. So when I got down to 202 a couple weeks ago!!!!! yay, 50 whole pounds!!!!!
It is more important for me to get better so my psychiatrist said eat comfort food, rest several times a day....I started ti cry in his office Friday....I have worked so very very hard to change habits....he assured me I will not gain a lot....of course more tears, I don't want to be fat and I did really good....he looks me in the eye and said, Deanna, we need you healthy, you did a very good thing by losing weight, but now and I know you had a great plan and you lost 50 pounds since last August.....but relax, you may gain a little back and that is fine....you focus on wellness, do not worry about the weight...healthy mind first, healthy body second, ok?
So I am going to leave the weight as 202, he forbids me to go near a scale, he told my son to hide it, lol, and he did. So please bare with me, deep breath, I did lose 50 pounds, I will not gain too much back, try to remain focused on healthy eating, a bit of "bad" food, and even though you have really taken charge of your weight, your weight loss journey has become habit, these are all good things....look at this temporary weight gain as healing food not straying from plan...ok, deal mr. doctor.
You should be proud of yourself. You have achieved alot. 50lbs since August and no breakdowns in 9 years. Bipolar Disorder is a very challenging one and for you to be able to handle it in the way you have you should be proud of yourself. I agree 100% with you doctor healthy mind first then healthy body because if we don't have our mental health what good are we-no matter what weight we are. Be encouraged and welcome back!
Welcome back Hydra. I'm sorry you are struggling so much. I guess you know I"m a psychiatrist. I don't know your doctor (obviously) and don't want to undermine your relationship with him or her but there are several potential choices to treat your bipolar disorder. Some are more likely to cause you difficulties with your weight than others. Maybe at your next visit you can talk about some of your options and work together on a solution that meets your goals for both a healthy body and a healthy mind.
I did not know that petra....My dx has changed so much over the years...my pdoc and I feel as if I am a true manic, aka unipolar mania, which I do believe will be in the upcoming dsm-v......it is true, I never get depressed unless situational, I am very positive and happy, I love to laugh baseline is hypomania. Perhaps we can talk some time petra.....this week I want to focus on avoidance of triggers and how to react or what coping skills to use if accidently triggered.....and even though I am freaking on the weight, I will eat yummy good healthy food and small portions of the bad stuff......it was weird, I was able to grocery shop for me and my son last night and it took a long time but I did well.....when I put some vanilla flavored lite ice cream in the cart....wow, I have not bought or eaten ice cream since last July! And you guys are wonderful, happy tears, thank you for your support.
p.s. petra I am the asst dir of a warmline, peer to peer non-professional support, we do not have the duty to warn....so we just talk, listen, vent, etc. Its a great team, been around for 16 yrs this coming July, 30ish part time employees, 24/7/365....average about 2,000 calls per month....sorry had to brag, we have a good solid kick *** team
Last edited by Hydra; 04-11-2010 at 04:42 PM.
Reason: smiles
Hydra, Glad to see you back on the boards! You have lost 50 pounds, that's a terrific accomplishment. Sounds like you have a plan to eat lots of good healthy food. You may be able to get through all of this without too much damage. We're here for you! Focus on getting well!
I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what you're doing, Hydra. Thank you for sharing yourself here. Your post touched my heart and I wish I could give you a hug.
Thanks Ladies! Your support truly warms my heart and makes me smile. Long story but I am on large doses of medications to bring me back to normal...essentially my brain chemicals went haywire for a few weeks and I am back to normal but still quite fragile.
Yesterday I was able to drink two glasses of milk, eat two bananas, drank 6 cans of diet dr. pepper, and apple pie...the whole pie! My best buddy, "dirtydisco", came over and we chatted and just hung out. He might be joining here, nice guy, he lost over 100 pounds on his own!
Thank you everyone for your kindness, it really means so much to me. Why did I ever leave here? Doesn't matter, I am back.
Healing from medical/mental breakdown
Welcome back, Hydra! You can do this, and we are here for you...
Long story but I am on large doses of medications to bring me back to normal...essentially my brain chemicals went haywire for a few weeks and I am back to normal but still quite fragile.
My best buddy, "dirtydisco", came over and we chatted and just hung out. He might be joining here, nice guy, he lost over 100 pounds on his own! 
