Weight Loss Support - Are there parts of weight loss you don't like?




ncuneo
04-07-2010, 06:52 PM
Right now I've been really struggling with my new self image. I don't know why this is happening now, I guess up until now I've always still felt fat. I think once I got into the 170's I just didn't feel fat anymore and now I'm having some kind of identity crisis. Almost like I don't know who I am if I'm not the fat girl, or the fat friend or whatever. I used to be the fattest girl in the office, now I think I'm might actually be the thinnest :o

I'm also just having this weird feeling about my body. I almost feel like something is missing, like I'm missing a limb or something. It is a really really weird feeling. I literally feel like I'm disappearing sometimes. I'll go to walk inbetween people in a crowd and I feel like I'm going to inevitable bump into them with my petruding gut but I slide right past without touching a thing. And when did they start giving so much more room at table in restaurants? Why is the table always so far away?

I think this last 22 lbs has come off fast and been a more drastic change in my appearance than the first 70 and my mind is just not catching up. What is more frightening to me is that I want to lose another 20-40lbs still and I really wonder how drastic of a change that is going to be and if I'm going to be feeling this way all the way to me goal or is it going to get worse?

I'm also getting really really sick of be COLD no FREEZING ALL THE TIME. Will this stop? Will my body adjust?

And I'm getting a little creaped out by the bones I can feel, my spine, my hip bones, etc.

Where is all this coming from and when will I just feel like me again? I don't want to be fat ever again, but something just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on it. This is temporary right?


angelskeep
04-07-2010, 07:00 PM
*HUGS* You are still you. Just thinner. I've struggled to understand being fat. I wasn't until I gained a lot of weight after I quit smoking, so you must be feeling the same way, in reverse. I think you'll get used to it eventually and carve out a new self-image. How's your mental self? Your intellectual self? Your emotional self? I can't say from the same perspective, but I would think it just takes some time?

Barb

Onederchic
04-07-2010, 07:04 PM
I am happy I have lost 155 pounds, very happy and much much healthier than I have been for my most of my life. That said, I truly hate my body and I believe I am not an attractive person at all. Is it all weight loss related? Most likely not but the whole skin issue is weight loss related and I hate, hate, hate it. It is a much better option than rolls of fat, for sure, but it doesn't make me like it any better.


WarMaiden
04-07-2010, 07:21 PM
My husband and I both constantly complain about being cold all the time. (He's lost 80 pounds too.) That part of weight loss, oh yes THAT part...I really do hate. And no, I don't think our bodies will adjust--I think we will always be somewhat cold. (However, I notice that normal-weight adults are cold a lot, too. So I guess it just comes with the territory.)

Other than that, though, it's all pretty copacetic to me.

mkendrick
04-07-2010, 07:22 PM
I was about to start a thread just like this!!

I am also cold. All the time. I used to be the one who would sweat in a room that was 65deg, now I'm the one who always needs a jacket. It's finally warm out (80deg) and I'm comfortable...last year, I'd be dying in the heat.

The bones also get to me. Sitting on a hard surface for any period of time is uncomfortable because I can feel my butt bones right on the chair. And the one that really bugs me is my knees on each other when I'm laying on my side. To fall asleep, I have to have a pillow between my legs. And just generally feeling bones (like my collar bone) so prominantly kinda grosses me out for some reason, haha.

But, the things that I now like about my body far outweigh the other things. I think it'll just take time to get used to.

kaplods
04-07-2010, 07:35 PM
I've never been cold when losing weight, even after losing a lot - until this time. Now I'm almost always freezing - and when I'm not freezing I'm too hot.

There's a lot I don't like about weight loss, but there's also a lot I do (and it's not all about the scale, or even about feeling healthier and stronger).

I don't like the routine of weight loss, the "have to do it every day forever," but then I remind myself of toothbrushing. I don't brush my teeth because it's fun, and it's just as pointless to wish I didn't have to watch my weight as it would be to wish I didn't have to brush my teeth. If I want the result, I have to put forth the effort.

However, I also find it a lot more enjoyable to get the result by incorporating as much fun as I can into the effort. When I focus on the deprivation, I feel deprived. When I look for alternatives, it isn't always comfortable but "different" is an odd feeling, but it's a better feeling than "loss/deprivation."


For example, I'm trying very hard to eliminate wheat entirely from my diet (it's likely that I'm intolerant, if not actually allergic or celiac. I knew the connection was real when my husband could tell when I'd eaten wheat by the looking at my face. I get a scaley rash within two days of eating more than a trace of wheat).

At first it seemed like wheat was in absolutely everything, and it was hard to keep from focusing on what I couldn't have - but there really are a lot of foods out there that aren't wheat. And a lot of them taste very good.

I tend to avoid exercise unless I plan it in. And I tend to do more if I plan it in a form that I enjoy (roughly in order of preference): swimming, geocaching, dancing to music (when no one is watching) and bicycling.

paris81
04-07-2010, 08:07 PM
I feel like I'm conforming too much to society, especially as a woman.

I know, it's about health too, but that seems to be the way to discriminate against fat people, even though the real reasons behind the discrimination are generally pretty superficial.

I don't know, I think that in the past few weeks, as I've been losing weight, I've suddenly felt happy with my body as a space for being subversive and going against the normative discourse of what women should look like. I don't look like that, and I kinda like it.

But it's not going to stop me from losing weight. I'll just have to find a different way of being non-normative.

goreplz
04-07-2010, 08:29 PM
I actually think collarbones (clavicles) and hip bones are sexy to see. Haha. I cannot wait until I can see my hipbones.

mkendrick
04-07-2010, 09:02 PM
I actually think collarbones (clavicles) and hip bones are sexy to see. Haha. I cannot wait until I can see my hipbones.

I agree that they are sexy, and I like that I can see my clavicles and hip bones. But when you're so used to having a cushion of fat all over, having these bony parts sticking out all over the place is somewhat uncomfortable at first. It takes some getting used to, at least.

cestlavie22
04-07-2010, 09:41 PM
it will get better and you will get used to your new body. it will just take a while for your mind to adjust.

summerlove
04-07-2010, 10:04 PM
Bones. Getting used to sitting or kneeling (when the heck did my butt get so bony??? it doesnt look bony in the mirror! :p)
Also, I'm still waiting for my mind to catch up with my body. You know how you used to look into the mirror and deny that you were overweight? For me, now, it's so damn hard to realize that I am a HEALTHY weight and that I look NORMAL. So ridiculously hard...being overweight literally all your life can mess you up :(

schubunny
04-07-2010, 10:26 PM
So far I like everything about it, but I haven't lost much yet!

ValRock
04-07-2010, 10:55 PM
Loose skin is my biggest hurdle. My kids destroyed my stomach and the thinner I get the worse it seems to look. Oh well.. that's what Spanx are for ;).

randomcards
04-08-2010, 10:24 AM
I miss the ability to pound a dozen cookies and not care;)

While this is lessening each day, I don't like the awkwardness of passing up on certain foods in social situations. I didn't have pie at Easter dinner the other day at the in-laws and you would have thought I was from another planet.

stargzr
04-08-2010, 10:31 AM
There's only one thing that I can say is a downside to my weight loss... that's my boobs. They have gone down only 1 cup size, but to me they look like they've gone down more than that. Anyhow, it's just what I see though... my bra doesn't give anything away and hubby says they're great so it's likely just in my head. Everything else I think is positive! I am cold most of the time, but when it hit 85 the other day... guess who wasn't sweaty?! ME! Here in SoCal, we aren't cold very often or for long so I'd much rather be cold sensitive than easily heated. :lol:
In all honesty I guess it would be nice to be able to eat whatever I wanted without regard to calories/fat/etc like I used to when I was heavy... but on the other hand, that's *why* I was heavy so I would never give up my counting and healthy eating for that.
Your head will catch up with your body, it just takes time. Heck, I'm still trying to catch up with mine, haha. I've heard it can take a while and I'm sure it depends solely on the individual. Best of luck with your remaining losses!! :D

fra
04-08-2010, 10:38 AM
i think you guys were just too fast and excellent at losing weight!! :P cause I lost it sooo slowly that my eyes got used to the new size, and I got used to any change in feelings... right now I am at the point of not remembering how I was like and I feel like I made no progress at all. then i look at pics to remind me xD

WarMaiden
04-08-2010, 12:10 PM
I have thought of something else I don't like about active weight loss, that is, the state of being in a significant calorie deficit day to day: And that is the symptoms that come along with that, such as muscle aches and poorer sleep. It happens to me every time I ramp up my weight loss again (after a period of maintaining or slower loss), and I just really disenjoy it.

ValentineNicole
04-08-2010, 12:13 PM
I don't like the frustration that comes with plateaus. I haven't seen significant weight loss in almost a month, though I count calories diligently. It's frustrating.

MeowMix
04-08-2010, 12:20 PM
I'm with you one the cold thing. I'm cold ALL THE TIME now! But before I was hot ALL THE TIME! I was always sweating in stores and pretty much whenever I was inside and it was embarrassing. So I'll take cold over hot and and sweaty any day!

And the one that really bugs me is my knees on each other when I'm laying on my side. To fall asleep, I have to have a pillow between my legs.

This! Sleeping on my side is just not as comfy as it used to be! A lot of my yoga moves have gotten uncomfortable because of bones too.

Overall though, how I feel when I put on my clothes trumps all of that 10 fold and everyday I get more and more used to it.

fitwayoflife
04-08-2010, 02:29 PM
Getting stretch marks.

saef
04-08-2010, 03:42 PM
Disrupted traditions and routines that include food.

The weather zinged up into the 90s suddenly right after Easter, while I was out on vacation & staying along the Connecticut shore. I felt summer & I smelled it in the air. I wanted to put on sandals. Suddenly, I had intense cravings, after not experiencing them for some time. I wanted to eat fried fish & fried clams & french fries. I wanted to go out & get an ice cream cone.

I had to remind myself, I'm living a new life now. I eat my fish grilled. I eat yogurt in the morning instead.

But it goes against oh so many years of eating those other things, as a seasonal rite of passage. When the daylilies are blooming, and the cicadas are buzzing, and you can smell the salt water a mile inward from the shore, this is what we do & what we eat. Life does seem a bit diminished by my not partaking.

There's an emotional nostalgic side of me that has to be reasoned with. My brain has to split in two parts with one of them taking over & making more rational choices. It's hard to always keep that rational side monitoring everything.

LasseKohau
04-08-2010, 05:04 PM
Hi, not really.

I enjoy loosing weight, get into smaller sizes, have more appetite for life and sex.

Weightloss is alot about motivation and results.

BR LASSE

lights76
04-08-2010, 05:25 PM
The guilt of not working out. I know that sounds weird but for me it is guilt. I was supposed to hit a strength pilates class today at lunch but went to Target instead. My brain is already thinking about what I can do tonight to make up for it - probably Biggest Loser DVD...

kuhrisuh
04-08-2010, 09:01 PM
I hate how none of my clothes fit me right. Everything is either too big or too small or too short or too long or too SOMETHING.

I definitely understand the uncomfortable feeling though.. the one that you can't put your finger on. I'm starting to feel the same way. I think it will pass, it may just take awhile to get used to our new bodies.

Congratulations on all of your success, you're doing FANTASTIC! :)

juliastl27
04-09-2010, 02:46 AM
i can relate to this one big time. my husband coined the term "fat girl syndrome". that is to say, i still feel like the fat girl no matter how much people tell me how great i look. in every picture, i have to immediately focus on my trouble spots (upper arms and lower belly), or compare myself to the girl standing next to me. even if she is clearly larger than me i still think that she carries it well and looks better.

also, even though i weigh less now than since before i had my son for the first time in 8 years, my body doesn't look the same. everything has rearranged itself. my hips are bigger than before i had my son, there are a lot of stretch marks/loose skin/saggy areas. i feel like i completely ruined my body by gaining so much weight. i had to accept that it will never look the same as a woman who stayed the same weight.

BUT, all that being said, i do love sizing down, i do love knowing that i stuck to something and am getting close to accomplishing my goals. i love that in clothes, aside from my problem areas, i feel like i look good. im not wearing many tank tops and crossing my fingers that the last part of this trims some arm fat. i feel better in SOOOOO many ways and have learned so much. i mean, in reality, who sees my stretch marked/saggy areas? only the people who see me naked and thats only one. he doesnt seem to care and keeps telling me how sexy i look.

i also love the collar bones and hip bones and ribs. makes me feel hot!

MeowMix
04-09-2010, 01:13 PM
i can relate to this one big time. my husband coined the term "fat girl syndrome". that is to say, i still feel like the fat girl no matter how much people tell me how great i look. in every picture, i have to immediately focus on my trouble spots (upper arms and lower belly), or compare myself to the girl standing next to me. even if she is clearly larger than me i still think that she carries it well and looks better.

also, even though i weigh less now than since before i had my son for the first time in 8 years, my body doesn't look the same. everything has rearranged itself. my hips are bigger than before i had my son, there are a lot of stretch marks/loose skin/saggy areas. i feel like i completely ruined my body by gaining so much weight. i had to accept that it will never look the same as a woman who stayed the same weight.

This is me, if fact it's crazy how much it's me. I can't seem to be happy with the 'good' parts of me and always focus on my trouble spots. I still feel a lot like 210 pound me and it's incredibly frustrating because I want to be enjoying 125 pound me!

I feel good about myself then go out and see some woman who's thinner, looks 10000 times better than me and I'm 210 pounds again feeling ashamed and awful.

I feel the same way, I think I completely ruined my body by letting it get so bad, if I'd just been smarter with my eating I could have avoided a lot of this skin and these stretch marks. But I can't change that now.

Does this feeling ever go away? Will we ever get to fully enjoy our new bodies or will we always feel a little like our bigger self's?

juliastl27
04-09-2010, 02:43 PM
This is me, if fact it's crazy how much it's me. I can't seem to be happy with the 'good' parts of me and always focus on my trouble spots. I still feel a lot like 210 pound me and it's incredibly frustrating because I want to be enjoying 125 pound me!

I feel good about myself then go out and see some woman who's thinner, looks 10000 times better than me and I'm 210 pounds again feeling ashamed and awful.

I feel the same way, I think I completely ruined my body by letting it get so bad, if I'd just been smarter with my eating I could have avoided a lot of this skin and these stretch marks. But I can't change that now.

Does this feeling ever go away? Will we ever get to fully enjoy our new bodies or will we always feel a little like our bigger self's?

i hope so! but i dont know if it ever will. when you are fat everyone treats you like a leper. ive even noticed that clerks in stores are nicer to me now that im slimming down. its almost like you get so used to be ignored/made fun of that now when people compliment me i feel like theyre like making a joke. i have a male friend who went from 300 lbs down to 180 and has the same problem. he still doesnt understand why so many girls are attracted to him and doesnt realize how good looking he is.

as far as the stretch marks/sagging/whatever, i think all we can do is accept it. theres no way to change it now, so we should just celebrate the fact that we have all those things because after we gained the weight, we made the right choices and had major willpower and commitment to lose it. we should be proud! a lot of people keep making the wrong choices and stay large their entire lives. even though its somewhat depressing at times, its WAY better than being fat.

Anne Elk
04-09-2010, 06:05 PM
I've never been cold when losing weight, even after losing a lot - until this time. Now I'm almost always freezing - and when I'm not freezing I'm too hot.

There's a lot I don't like about weight loss, but there's also a lot I do (and it's not all about the scale, or even about feeling healthier and stronger).

I don't like the routine of weight loss, the "have to do it every day forever," but then I remind myself of toothbrushing. I don't brush my teeth because it's fun, and it's just as pointless to wish I didn't have to watch my weight as it would be to wish I didn't have to brush my teeth. If I want the result, I have to put forth the effort.

However, I also find it a lot more enjoyable to get the result by incorporating as much fun as I can into the effort. When I focus on the deprivation, I feel deprived. When I look for alternatives, it isn't always comfortable but "different" is an odd feeling, but it's a better feeling than "loss/deprivation."


For example, I'm trying very hard to eliminate wheat entirely from my diet (it's likely that I'm intolerant, if not actually allergic or celiac. I knew the connection was real when my husband could tell when I'd eaten wheat by the looking at my face. I get a scaley rash within two days of eating more than a trace of wheat).

At first it seemed like wheat was in absolutely everything, and it was hard to keep from focusing on what I couldn't have - but there really are a lot of foods out there that aren't wheat. And a lot of them taste very good.

I tend to avoid exercise unless I plan it in. And I tend to do more if I plan it in a form that I enjoy (roughly in order of preference): swimming, geocaching, dancing to music (when no one is watching) and bicycling.

Do you have any of Bette Hagman's gluten free books? Pretty good stuff. Also if you are a baker you can sub wheat flour with a wheat-free flour combo plus xanathan gum that she came up with . . . I can't remember it off the top of my head but if you google her you'll find it.