100 lb. Club - I don't know what to do.. HELP

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09-08-2002, 12:09 AM
Hi!!! I'm a 26 year old female married with no kids. I currently weigh 295 and desperately need to lose weight. I'm new to this site and thought I would introduce myself. I haven't figured out what food or exercise plan I'm going to use yet. I just know I have to lose weight. I'm 26 years old and can barely make it up my stairs. I have a third floor that I rarely go up to because it's just too many stairs. My back and knees ache constantly. I wear the same few clothes all the time because nothing else fits and I refuse to buy new clothes. I'm only 26 years old!!! This is just too much. I truly can't take it anymore. I'm just tired of being tired.

Right now I just feel so alone. Everyday I think to myself how did this happen? How did I get to this point? I'm to the point I just hate going anywhere. Most of the time I just stay home. I just hate to be around other people. Unfortunately I had no choice today and had to go somewhere for a party. Of course everyone decided to sit in booths. It was so embarrassing to have to try and squeeze myself into that booth. I ended up having to sit sideways to just sorta be comfortable. I just wanted to die. It was so hard to choke back the tears. I'm just at my wits end right now. :( I've tried Slim Fast, WW, Atkins and everything else and nothing has worked. To be honest I probably really didn't try anything long enough to see any results. :( I just don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't seem to get anything right. I know I need to lose weight but haven't manged to stick to anything to lose weight. What's wrong with me? Am I just destined to be this way forever? I'm so sorry this is so long. I just wanted to introduce myself and hopefully this will be the place that I need to get some help. Thanks so much for listening.

09-08-2002, 02:01 AM
Hi, Oraki-
Well, at least you're here now. The important part is that you want to change. You need to let the past go now. It's behind you. Now, rather than take on the huge task of totally changing your life, maybe you should try to just change like, one thing a week. (Ex. eat 3 servings of veggies today, drink a bottle or two of water, go for a 5 minute walk or something.) Good luck! I know you can do it if you set your mind to it. Peace! -Apryl

09-08-2002, 08:49 AM
Oraki {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

welcome to the site!! let it be known we all were whereyou are right now. we understand the humiliation of being fat. my mother siad to me one time (I was pregnanat but i was just as fat as if i was not) very loudly in a mcdonalds when we were going to sit in a booth. Oh sue can you fit behind there. she did not mean it that waay, but i almost died pregnant or not!!!! and i made my self fit!!!

so take a deep breat and figure out which plan you want to follow. we all do different plans here. i am a low carber and there are several here, several do slim fast and many do Ww so take your pick and jum in. post oftern and join in the daily thread it lets us get to know you and you us. we have several chalenges going on. the halloween where we set short goals for what we want to do. make sure that youset small goals especially at first. it is important that you do not shoot to high or you will let your self in for failure. and do not think of the big picture that is too over welming to think of the amout of total weight that you want to lose. that is enough to make any one give up. also do not think that it will come off over night but persistand and not give up attitude is what will get you to goal. i would ahve been there in 1 year if i did not take side tracts so plan on doing it slowly. your body needs time to adjust and lose and adjust. so you will hae time where it comes off fast and times where it is stuck but it is the persistance and stick to it. we are here to help you stick to it!!! you just provide the diet and the desire!!!

09-08-2002, 11:29 AM
Welcome, Oraki! The main thing I can tell you is that you're in the right place. Come often, post often. Tell us the one thing you've done well that day if there is only one thing. Tell us the many if there are many. But read the posts often. You'll soon see we've all been where you are, we've all lost and gained and stayed in the same place for a long time. I have been so inspired by the weight losses some of our gals have posted and yet they too still need to struggle often. They are the ones who have given me the courage to feel I too can do it (though I'm still in the "far from it" column).

Whatever you choose, focus on your health. Apryl's advice on starting small is wise. A five minute walk every day can be a big goal when you're starting out. An extra glass of water or two. There was a "water challenge" when I first started that helped me really increase my daily quota and helped jumpstart the losing.

So again, welcome. Hope to hear from you often.

09-08-2002, 06:02 PM
I want to welcome you and let you know you are not alone. All of us here had to lose atleast 100 pounds when we started. Some are just starting, some are near goal and most of us somewhere in the middle of the weight loss journey. I was once 313 so I understand how you feel being so close to 300-- it's mortifying! I think posting here every day will really help you-it does for me!! Even if you dont have a plan yet just start writing down everything you eat and track the calories. Keep them between 1600-2000 and you will lose weight! You probably wont believe it because it seems too high. But that's how I started. Some days you will want to eat more so eat (say 2000 calsories) that day. On another you might barely eat 1600. Whatever you, do don't go below 1200. Thats the lowest you should go! You will lose even on 2000 due to your weight. As it gets lower of course the calories will have to go lower too to keep losing (unless you add exercise). It's all math basically! ;)
stick with us-we're here for ya!

09-08-2002, 11:05 PM
Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I will take everyone's advice. For right now I'm going to try counting calories and fat grams. I have some old journals from WW that I'll use to keep track of my intake. It's really a great idea to concentrate on one thing. For this week I'm going to concentrate on exercise. I'm going to take it slow and aim for at least 20 minutes of exercise a day. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time and try and not look at the big picture. Again thanks everyone for such great advice and I'll make sure to post as often as possible. :)

09-08-2002, 11:11 PM
oraki!!! honey, darlin, sweetheart!!! slow down... BREATHE!!!! . yes. let's start there. inhale.... now slowly exhale through your mouth... now do it again.. in... out... one more time.. in... out...

ok. now. one step at a time. these wise ladies [yes, you too, apryl, you smart person you] are right. focus on ONE change at a time. it sounds as if a whole-life change such as WW is too much right now. and believe me, that's just fine.

maybe a reasonable first step might be something as simple as writing down every single mouthful you eat, along with how you're feeling when you eat [like stressed, or tired, or happy, or relaxed or even - dare i say it - HUNGRY]. so just LOOK at what you're doing, so you can see where the trouble spots are, or find some patterns, or whatever.

and then, the water is very important. so's getting enough protein [sue and i are very big on protein], and vitamins and exercise and all kinds of things. it's a very big project here!!!

and i'm always floored by the insight and knowledge of the women around here. we ALL understand the struggle, and it's hard to talk about it sometimes.

here are my stats: highest weight was just a year ago, 506. i had wls at the end of january when i weighed 409. my weight yesterday morning was 269. so, i STILL have a long way to go, but i've lost more than 230 pounds.

and i don't recommend that anyone follow my path, but please believe me when i tell you that those tiny changes make a huge difference over time. we get into the groove and each change becomes a part of our lives, just like putting on clean undies and brushing our teeth. that's what makes the difference.

so, please, post a lot... even start up a daily menu thread!!! join one of the challenges, even if your personal goal is to drink a certain amount of water or walk a couple of blocks or eat a certain amount of protein or carbs or whatever. you don't have to do what everyone else is doing. just start!!!!

we're with you!!!

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

09-08-2002, 11:12 PM
geezzzz, oraki... here i am writing you a book, and you slipped in!!!!

glad you're with us..

09-08-2002, 11:30 PM
Yeah jiffypop I'm here and I think I'll stay around. Thanks so much. I have calmed down now. :) I was just so frustrated, embarrassed and humiliated when I posted last night. I just had to share it with someone. Everyone here is so nice for listening. I do feel better now. Thanks for listening. :D

09-08-2002, 11:49 PM
Oraki --

Welcome! Hope we will see you around often -- I pop in and out sporadically -- mostly due to the fact that I work lots of overtime and am not always able to pop in and post.

I have been coming here for about three months and have gained lots of great ideas, insights and inspiration from these great folks --

I have a severe case of rheumatoid arthritis:cry: which is seriously aggravated by being 100 lbs + overweight -- my main motivation for losing weight is to be able to walk mostly painfree one day in the future -- :dance:

I have taken it very slowly, changing one behaviour at a time -- for example, my first behaviour change was incorporating lots of water into my daily regimen :halffull: after that, I started writing down everything I ate, the calories, fat grams and added up the numbers at the end of each day :eek: boy, what a wake up call.
Each of us have to find what works for us as individuals -- it's a journey, not a destination - a lifetime of change.

Hope to see you around often --
Good luck to you.



09-08-2002, 11:57 PM
Welcome Oraki!

I'm not much of a help lately, I'm afraid, because I've been dealing with some pretty bad stress eating issues myself. This is the best place to come, though, when you really need some support.

09-09-2002, 09:08 AM
Welcome Oraki, I'm also 26, married, but I have 4 kids, one here at home with me... I am well over 300 pounds now, thanks to a month long depression and binge, I gained all the weight I've tossed off back, BUT luckily, I haven't lost any of my gains in the workout area, so right now,. I'm working at maintaining, and doing pretty good at it... I've figured I was stressing myself too much over it, and I've settled into a lower intensity, lower pressure lifestyle, no scale hopping, once a week max, and I've stopped posting my numbers, even though if asked, I'll tell...lol and, I'm working on eating...real food, and enjoying the small amounts of the real foods I can have, rather than gagging down diet foods any more... accidents do happen though, I missed out on my food point yesterday because of a run-in with a few too many chips ahoy... :( BUT, today is another day, I'm off to a good start... and I'll do what I can to stay on track today :)

Keep posting up, and just join in where you can, latch on to a thread or five, and enjoy having all of us here, knowing exactly what you're fighting :)

09-09-2002, 12:07 PM
Hi Oraki! I cannot really give you any better advice than any of the other ladies. Everyone here is very supportive and understanding, after all, we have all been in a very similar place. Apryl is right when she says work on one thing at a time. Sometimes it is the simple things that really make a difference. For me, I had reached a plateau and was getting frustrated. When I cut out soft drinks, I started loosing again. That simple change made a huge difference to me.
Me, I am a member of WW online. I love it!!!!! Seeing my progress and slips on the screen helps me to keep motivated. I am 27 and have two boys. I started my weightloss journey at 279, and am now, as of this mornings weigh-in 216. I truly believe that by posting often, I have become more responsible for my lifestyle. After all, I don't want to have to post a huge gain!
Keep you chin up, and keep motivated!

09-09-2002, 12:23 PM
Welcome! I hope you stick around :) I know you will find this board extremely helpful & all the ladies extremely supportive of your weight loss efforts :)

Your first post - I could have written, change one thing, the age (I'm 24). Before I started losing weight, I was 313.6 pounds at the age of 23. Talk about humiliating & depressing :( But things CAN change! We are NOT destined to stay any way we don't want to be! I KNOW that you can do this! :)

There are a myriad of programs to try, & I hope you find one that works for you. I'm doing WW, which is working great for me, but, you just have to be patient & find what will work for you.

We're all here for you!!! {{{hugs}}}

09-09-2002, 01:01 PM
Welcome :wave: ,

I am feeling very ho humish today, but I did want to welome you and tell you not to give up, we're all on the same wagon :D .

09-11-2002, 10:40 AM
You've gotten so much good advice and support ... not much I can add to that. I did relate to the part about your joint pain and not being able to climb the steps. In addition to walking (or cycling or swimming or whatever you can do), I encourage you to try some strength training, i.e., lifting light weights. I've had problems myself with doing a lot of aerobic activity, and the weight lifting has helped me get rid of the joint pain and it gives me an energy boost ... I'm now able to do more aerobics thanks to the strength. PLUS, the exercise puts me in a better frame of mind for the eating part!

Good luck ... stick around ... aren't these ladies wonderful?

255/225/150 or thereabouts

09-12-2002, 02:26 AM

Honey you'll be fine...even if the only thing you do is right on this site how you feel everyday...you're doing something different and it's change and change is progress. I have only been on the 3FC sitefor weeks and I feel hopeful and no longer alone.

You also have your youth going for yo. Women don't start losing muscle until after 30 and that's when it starts to get a bit more difficult to lose. I am 53 and in menopause and the fat is as hard and hard to lose as cement but I won't give up because I look at everyone's post and gain inspiration.

Don't be so hard on yourself...it's the most difficult thing in the world to change the way you eat, there are over 20,000 people who post to 3FC site to back that up!!

Also getting a therapist who's specialty is in eating disorders is helpful...it's really not about the food in the long run...I have found someone wonderful...she's never had a weight problem but she has a lot of experience in the field.

You will succeed in spite of yourself and pray for the strength to accept the little successes, like reaching out to others finally..good, good, good for you!!!!!!!!!