100 lb. Club - Kind of despondent
Well it is almost a year since I had Drake and I'm feeling kind of down. Probably a lot of it is related to the fact that things are going to be changing in the next couple of weeks. Drake starts daycare next week and I go back to work on the 18th and I"m taking a couple of college courses which is going to keep me busy. I think though I am mostly down about not losing the weight I wanted to lose. I figured that if I had a year off work and all I had to do was look after Drake that I would have time to exercise and eat better. Initially it took me a long time to get into the swing of looking after a baby but really I can't say that he takes up all my time and energy. I've just been lazy and haven't accomplished any of my weight loss goals. Frankly I would have been happy even losing 10-20 lbs, even just to get under 200 would have been spectacular.
I really can't figure why I am not losing weight. I walk practically every day. I don't drink as much water as I should but I've been drinking more than before. My eating hasn't been that horrible. I've had some slips but still I think I should have lost even a few pounds. I didn't weigh in this morning, I'll do it tomorrow for sure but I think I've gained a couple of pounds. And I can't blame it on TOM now.
I've been doing so well in our points challenge and yet I'm not losing weight. I must really be eating a zillion calories on those days that I stray outside my points.
So anyway I've been thinking about this for awhile and I think I am going to do it. There is a diet clinic here in Canada where you go on a very low calorie diet. You go to the clinic several times a week for check-ups and vitamin supplements. I know what some of you think of these kind of diets but I know this place really works. I have a friend who lost 95 lbs at this clinic and also there was a woman here, canadianchick I think was her user name who lost a lot of weight with this clinic. It is really expensive, I think $400 or so a month. I don't know for sure as I haven't gone for a consultation yet. I'm starting to feel really desperate though. I just need a good kick start, then maybe I could do the rest on my own. If you want to look at the web site it is www.drbdiet.com
I guess that is the place I am in right now. It has really just come over me the past couple of days feeling really low that is but I think I've been feeling really bad about my weight for the past year or so. I fooled myself or was in denial for a very long time. I told myself for a long time that I didn't look that bad, that I was still athletic and I felt attractive. Well I sure don't feel those things anymore. I feel like a giagantic lump. It's reality time here, when I look in the mirror or look at a picture, that is how I really look. I used to say that I just wasn't photogenic. No, that is how I really look.
And it isn't just about how I look, it is about how I feel. Generally I feel okay but I still get winded walking upstairs carrying Drake and then it feels like my body is one big piece of jello the way it jiggles and shakes.
I'm sorry to sound so depressed. I hope I'm not bringing anyone down.
Take care all, talk to you next week.
I have had to change plans on occasion myself so don't feel bad about that. Somethings work well for me and some do not. Calorie counting never worked for me even when I went down to 500 calories a day. It works for a lot of people but the Doctor was so sure I was cheating he put me in the hospital on restriction. I couldn't leave the floor and visitors were watched carefully to avoid smuggling. I didn't lose a pound. He was mystified. Protein Diet worked for me like a charm. Isn't that weird. Those day's you take off...... one day every couple of weeks or so is one thing but Sugar any more than that is a disaster. I schedule mine no matter what weight I have or haven't lost. It give me something to really look forward to and makes it special for me as well. Even then you have to be careful not to overdo it. I really believe that like any habit it takes practice to change it until you find what works well for you. We all respond differently. Do take the time to give yourself a reality check and personal examination but whatever you do don't give up. Keep working at it it will click for you. Been there done that. It will....honestly.....if you just don't let go.....of your hopes , your dreams, your health, and your life. Hang in there and do what you need to do. Perhaps you need the structure of a clinic type situtation but whatever choise you make we are all here for you. God Bless.
09-07-2002, 08:24 AM
I agree with Pam some thing work for some and some things work for others. for me it also ahs been the low carb too . but if you need to do the bernstein diet the you have my support. atleast it is watched by medical personel so i know you will recieve the monitoring that is needed for that kind of restriction.
i will say that do not get on your self after this last year. i say that even though i love my kids that the time when my kids were small were my darkest times for me time. i did not know who i was even if i was working or not. i did not have any time for me or exercise. i am know how hard things are and well to be hones this next few years will not be any easier especially as you are going to be working. you rush home and have to fix dinner the kids have to sleep you neeed to have kid time and hubby time clean the house and do laundry when is there time for yourself?? there is not. so honestly in my opinion if i were you i would do the same thing. Good luck and we are here for you remember that
09-07-2002, 06:21 PM
I want to lend you my support. I think it's great that you want to try a medically supervised weight loss program. Atleast your vitals will be checked all the time and they wont let you hurt yourself. They will be able to tell if it is too extreme for you and I am sure they would modify your plan if it is. From reading your post it sounds like you are eating just enough to maintain your weight. Sometimes little bits here and there add up calorie wise. Your body is like a calculator. It knows how much energy (food) you are giving it and it subtracts the rest from your energy stores (fat) if you dont eat enough to keep it's functions going. It sounds like what you are eating is the perfect amount to maintain. Going on this low cal diet will let you lose, lose, lose! I know your self confidence will soar then when you see your hard work being rewarded!! good luck to you on your diet and getting back to work. I am jealous of the year off!;) I only got two months even with a c-section.
09-08-2002, 08:45 AM
Jen- 2 quick thoughts, (my kids are waking up already).
Don't let anyone give you a hard time about whatever eating pla you choose. For me it has been a restricted carb plan and exercise. I was on a restricted calorie plan 750-900/day for about 8 weeks. And I did lose weight but it was also lowish carbs and I began to think that maybe I could eat more protien and veggies and get the same result and I was right, plus I felt better, starvation mode feels like it sounds. The best thing about that program was the jump start I got, about 30 pounds gone and I learned what portion sizes are supposed to look like, that I can live without bread and potatoes every day, I was able to roll that right into a new eating plan.
I have never been more crazed than I was in the first year of my first child's life. I have 2 now and it actually seems easier. I stayed home got lots of help from hubby who worked at home with us for 2 years to help out and I blythely gained 50 pounds. Though, it's hard maybe you could focus for just a moment on the great advantage, love and secure base you have given your child. This is all very much on my mind right now as I have tentatively decided to get my real estate license in the Spring and begin to think about rejoining the work force at least part time. My youngest will be 3 by then and it still feels very WRONG to me and TEMPTING to be doing non-kid stuff, lunching with adults etc.
But back to you Jen :) My point is that that first year I had trouble getting a load of wash done , really that would be my only goal for the day! Please take it easy on yourself. I know the frustration of knowing that you have changed your eating habits and that your body has manged to lower it's energy, metabolism etc to frustrate any attempts at weight loss. A suprvised diet with accountability, something that allows you to see fast results and learn a few "tricks" may work beatifully. The body also needs less than western medicine believes, I think reduced calorie diets are less dangerous than commonly thought. Just keep us in the loop, we want to hear all about it!
Thanks so much everyone for their support. It is so rough being a first time mom, I knew you other moms would know what I was talking about. Yes I've had those days too where doing a load of laundry or having a shower was my big accomplishment for the day.
I talked about this idea with the dh and he's not thrilled about it but I told him flat out that I am sick and tired of being fat. I feel like I have really tried to lose weight and nothing is working. I just need that 'jump start' and I think it would help me out so much. I'm calling the clinic this am for an appointment and I'll let you know how it goes.
09-09-2002, 09:28 AM
I think you're also wise, Jen, in that you recognize that some of your down feelings come from the fact that you're going to be away from Drake more and facing the challenges of going back to work and taking some college courses. Let's face it, there's a lot on your plate and you want to feel up to it. I think all the Moms who have done it will attest it's a very trying time when you first go back to work after having a baby as well as when you first bring the little one home.
Spoken as someone who was lucky enough to bring part of her job home with her when her babies were little and only worked part time then. But I know THAT was tough enough and I've seen so many other friends/family go through the painful adjustments that I know it when I see it.
Hang in - do what you need to do - get healthy and strong and know we're here to cheer you on.
Thanks anagram, I appreciate the support.
I called this am for a consultation appt and went through this whole thing where I had to call another number to get all the fees etc. Well they sure are making big bucks on this. the initial consultation fee is based on your weight, for me $225, this includes the program manual, orientation, a recipe book and the first week of treatment which consists of vit. B6 and B12 injections three times a week plus other supplements. After that it is $450 a month or there are weekly and biweekly rates available. That is a little too much for me. Also you had to give a $100 deposit before your appointment. If it has just been the $450 I might have considered it but you are looking at $675 in 2 weeks. Also I won't be able to go 3 times a week for these injections when I go back to work. So I decided that this just wasn't for me. Too bad in a way as I think I would have done well on it.
Now I need to figure out what I am going to do. I think I really need to start being vigilant with my diet as I think I am probably eating more than what I really think I am what with baby snacking.
This will sound really weird but I got my hair cut really short this morning and I feel like a weight is gone. I feel a lot more motivated to get back on track. Think what a hair cut will do for you. the hairdresser and I were talking about that tv show A Makeover Story and she had some lady come in with hair down to her bum who asked her just to do something with it. the hairdresser gave this woman a short cut and the woman was just estatic. Her husband came in the next day and gave the hairdresser a big hug because it has just turned his wife's life around. Turned out she was depressed and just having her hair cut gave her enough motivation to go out and get a job. Can you imagine? I guess we all need to go out and get our hair cut!
09-09-2002, 02:16 PM
I always feel like I've lost 5 lbs after a haircut. Too bad I can't have it cut every day~
However, I have been having it washed and styled every week as part of this journey - something I always felt I didn't want to be bothered with. I do like the luxury of a good rough shampoo and must admit I feel a bit better (though not lighter) having it done. So it's my little (non-food) reward. Glad the haircut worked for you. You can get lots of haircuts for what the fees would have cost. Wow! Consolation story: Several years ago both my brother and sister followed that route. Did great, looked fabulous. Bro lost 120, sister looked even slimmer, prettier than at 16. Both regained and then some within a relatively short period of time. Sister has now lost 46 or so on ww; bro heavier than ever and really discouraged/depressed. I know it works well for many; I just know it didn't for them because somehow they didn't change their lifelong eating patterns. I do think bro is making some small changes now as he sees sis changes, etc. I hope so as we all have much concern for his health right now.
09-09-2002, 04:15 PM
I think that a haircut can work wonders on how one feels about themself. Good idea, Jen. If you feel better about yourself, the more motivated you are to work on the more difficult tasks (weight loss). I know that for me, once I started feeling better about myself, I was more ampt to work out and really watch those WW points.
Also, I know just how tough it is to leave a little one in someone else's care. I left my now five year old when he was just 1, for me to go back to work. It was very difficult and I cried everyday for a week, but he enjoyed himself so much and made so many friends that I think it was the best bet for him. I'm able to be home again now, but I'm going back to work next August, and am very fearful about leaving my 3 year old. It will all work out for the best, and Drake will actually enjoy being around other kids all of the time.
Denise - I think Drake likes it better there than here! According to the teachers he had a great day though he didn't want to go for a nap. He went for one as soon as he got home though. Yes I cried both yesterday and today when I dropped him off but I'm okay now. I just needed a little cry just as a release. I almost don't know what to do with myself. He's staying for lunch today, by Thursday I think he'll stay the whole day.
Anyway I feel a lot better than I did the other day when I started this thread. Does anyone else just get so sick and tired of struggling to lose weight? I know that realistically it isn't going to come off all at once. It took me many years to gain this weight, apparently it will take a few to get it all off.
Yesterday I was very vigilant in counting my calories and writing down everything that I ate. I think once I am back to work I will lose weight a little easier, there isn't that much opportunity for excess snacking.
Take care all.
09-10-2002, 10:29 AM
I was very depressed for about two years after I had my first. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time. Like you, I walked a lot and thought I was watching my eating, but I didn't lose any weight at all. I imagine putting your child in daycare now is probably bothering you at some level, after having been attached at the hip for a year.
It sounds to me like you're going from doing nothing but caring for the baby to being ultra busy ... I think I would go nuts with a schedule like you're talking about! As someone else said, you'll still have meal preparation, cleaning and such at home on top of your new schedule! Is there any possibility you could put off your classes for a while?
This probably sounds crazy, I suggest it to people all the time as if it's a panacea and I don't mean it to sound that way: you might think about starting a weight-lifting routine. I started doing regular weight lifting -- light handweights, 20-30 minutes 3 times a week -- about 3 months ago. The reason I suggest it is that for me, it has helped tremendously with my feeling of well-being. I'm much more energetic than any time I kept up with just doing some type of aerobic exercising ... and I've stuck with it better than walking or anything like that. The bad thing is that you'd probably be best doing it first thing in the morning, which I'm sure makes you balk ... But you'll stick with it better if you'll get yourself up half and hour early and just do it.
Well, that's just a suggestion, obviously. As for eating, perhaps you can just start making some simple modifications. I think more than anything you're going to have to plan, plan, plan.
Good luck to you!