Weight Loss Support - Fear of ridicule




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spygirl05
04-02-2010, 07:14 AM
Now that it's almost summer time I am looking forward to getting out and doing a lot of things...but at the same time I'm not. Last summer I had worked up the courage to go for my first walk that year outside. I thought my fear of being made fun of was most likely irrational and that no one would notice me, or really care. I started to feel really good, I had walked about 30 minutes and was on my way back. Then I saw the car slow down next to me, a group of guys (and girls) started to make fun of me, driving along side me. When they realized I wasn't going to respond they drove off. I was about 175 lbs back then, and I didn't think I was that fat, or at least fat enough to get made fun of. But my seemingly irrational fear became a reality.

This year the snow has melted off the roads now, and I'm nervous about getting back out there. Yes, I do have a gym membership, but I like taking walks and being in nature too. My husband surprised me when he suggested we start jogging together (we're both overweight). I love the idea, but I'm having a really hard time trying to get over what happened and still have that fear that it's going to happen again. I don't know what to do. Any advise would be appreciated.


Phatmama
04-02-2010, 07:32 AM
That's unbelievable! Get yourself some pepper spray ASAP! If a car load of people slowed down to drive beside me and taunt me, I would take that as a direct threat and those people would get a car full of pepper spray.
I'm not joking at all!

Robsia
04-02-2010, 08:16 AM
Wow - even when I was at my highest no one made fun of me to my face like that!! That is shocking. It's bullying pure and simple.

However, if you do want to start running, try the C25K program - it starts you off nice and gently with a mixture of running and walking and you will therefore have a higher chance of success than just jogging would.

Perhaps you could go somewhere more remote, where you're a little less likely to be bumping into people.


Windchime
04-02-2010, 09:37 AM
Do you have a local high school nearby? Ours keeps the track open all year 'round and when school is out, that's where I often go to run (especially when I'm at the stage where it's more "exhausted panting" than "running"). Anyone you see there is going to be doing the same thing you're doing -- exercising -- and it should be a more welcoming attitude.

I'm feeling fortunate that I have never encountered this; I think the people must be a little nicer here in my small town because I certainly see overweight people out and about, walking and jogging and biking. I guess if you don't have a track or someplace like that, then I would just do my best to ignore people like that. But sometimes my finger my involuntarily slip up to give them the "You're number 1!!" sign, if you know what I mean. ;-)

ANewCreation
04-02-2010, 09:44 AM
I am so sorry that happened to you. I understand your fear, I'd be fearful too. In addition to the pepper spray, I'd also have my cell phone handy for dialing 911. I'd feel threatened and that would justify a phone call for help in my mind.

Having said that, I'd take your hubby up on jogging together. I think people would be far less likely to harass you if you were with someone. And, I'm sad to say, people are less likely to harass a woman if she is with a man. Safety in pairs.

I wish you well! Don't let a car load of idiots stop you from accomplishing your goals!

JayEll
04-02-2010, 10:15 AM
Just a caution on the pepper spray idea... it could be considered an assault, and you could end up in jail. I'm not kidding either.

Jogging sounds like too much to start with. Ask him to go for walks with you for a couple of weeks, with the idea that you'll consider jogging after you've gotten used to walking.

Pay no attention to those scum. They are cowards and sadists. They probably bully other kids at school, if they aren't dropouts.

Jay

stargzr
04-02-2010, 10:44 AM
I've been made fun of in the same way when I was thin back in jr high. People that are insecure will make fun of anyone and especially if you look vulnerable. Shrug it off, it's their issue, not yours. Walk outside! It's nice! Besides, you're taking the steps to do something about your weight and that's commendable. So continue on the right path and ignore idiots! ;)

schubunny
04-02-2010, 10:53 AM
Some people are just a-holes. I don't think you should let one experience run your life. Now that your husband is going with you, I believe you're 10 times less likely to have anyone stop. a-holes tend to pick on people who are alone and not accompanied by another person. This way your husband can yank them out of the car and kick their ***!!! :) *hug*

jcatron243
04-02-2010, 11:11 AM
I have the same fear so I stick to the treadmill. It took a while but know I think~who cares i don't know them. I turn my ipod up and don't hear a word.

angelskeep
04-02-2010, 11:30 AM
I'm sorry that that happened to you. Some folks are just jerks However...you need to do what is good for you and find a way not to worry about what others *might* say or do. It's just words, and can only bother ou if you let it. I think I would get a t-shirt that said FAT CHICK or something. Or better yet...put it on the back of my pants...right across the backside. Just get out there and walk or run and enjoy nature. Alaska must be an AWESOME place to live!

Barb

ParadiseFalls
04-02-2010, 11:36 AM
I'm scared of that, too, so I don't ever exercise outside. But you're MUCH smaller than me, and I think that that car full of :censored: was an anomaly. You probably looked nothing more than chubby at that weight, and they must have been miserable people to make fun of you! I highly doubt that you would experience that very often or even at all if you get out and exercise now. Do it, girl! :carrot:

SlimBy2011
04-02-2010, 12:21 PM
Sorry that happened. You could try a park in the morning. It's cooler in the morning and everybody walking along the trail is there for fitness as well.

preetyladyserenity
04-03-2010, 04:30 AM
For a weird reason I have a "double standard" for the above case.:D

I do feel a bit scared that I might be walking outside and people might comment on me as I walk by. I also, feel very insecure when I have to eat fattening food around people. For me eating fattening food was always hush-hush.

Now the weird thing is that I was always an avid swimmer and I love swimming with a passion.:swim: So for a person who gets afraid to walk around dressed up in a street, I have absolutely NO problem with walking around in a crowded beach in my swimsuit(not even when I was 130 kg), because I wouldn't sacrifice swimming for any jackass.

And that ladies and gents is my doulbe standard.:halffull:

babble
04-03-2010, 05:11 AM
That's terrible that this happened to you spygirl. Maybe the gym would be a better environment for walking. Or like other posters said, somewhere more remote to walk. I would definitely bring your husband along since that has happened though.

LaLaurie
04-03-2010, 07:51 AM
The best time of day to go walking outside is early morning. Young jerks like those usually sleep late. Keep going on your journey and don't let anyone stop you.

bunnythesAINT
04-03-2010, 09:53 AM
That's unbelievable! Get yourself some pepper spray ASAP! If a car load of people slowed down to drive beside me and taunt me, I would take that as a direct threat and those people would get a car full of pepper spray.
I'm not joking at all!
I would agree with this. Not much they could do either...they were harrassing you and it's always creepy when a car slows down beside you.

MissKoo
04-06-2010, 05:48 PM
I'm sending you a giant hug :hug:. When I was younger and was in a fat phase I was teased terribly. I don't know why but bullies tend to have this radar to find who is sensitive. I wasn't even that big but I remember boys calling me things like "massive." It was weird but I know that they were trying to "shame" me for being heavy. After being a mom to a teenager I can now see how they like to put the focus on someone else so others won't focus on them! Pathetic. Also, I've seen bullies who act out against people they want attention from. I remember leaving a dance class about 20 years ago and some teenaged boys called me "big mama" - seriously, I was a size 10. Again, pathetic. Please know it is their problem - you are awesome!

I agree with what's been posted here - DON'T LET THEM STOP YOU!!! Walking outside is great! Find a safe environment and keep on going :carrot:. We're all rooting for you!

KatehSparrow
04-06-2010, 06:44 PM
I have this same fear... mostly because those "young jerks" are my peers and for some reason, thats so much scarier than if someone older or younger than me decided to mock me.

I definitely wouldn't let it stop you. Those people were jerks and if it had been me, I would have copied down their license plate number and given the cops a call.

goreplz
04-06-2010, 06:57 PM
Now that it's almost summer time I am looking forward to getting out and doing a lot of things...but at the same time I'm not. Last summer I had worked up the courage to go for my first walk that year outside. I thought my fear of being made fun of was most likely irrational and that no one would notice me, or really care. I started to feel really good, I had walked about 30 minutes and was on my way back. Then I saw the car slow down next to me, a group of guys (and girls) started to make fun of me, driving along side me. When they realized I wasn't going to respond they drove off. I was about 175 lbs back then, and I didn't think I was that fat, or at least fat enough to get made fun of. But my seemingly irrational fear became a reality.

This year the snow has melted off the roads now, and I'm nervous about getting back out there. Yes, I do have a gym membership, but I like taking walks and being in nature too. My husband surprised me when he suggested we start jogging together (we're both overweight). I love the idea, but I'm having a really hard time trying to get over what happened and still have that fear that it's going to happen again. I don't know what to do. Any advise would be appreciated.


That's terrible! I weigh more than that and I NEVER get made fun of ever. And I take gym class in which I have to run a mile with lots of other thin kids (and kids larger than me). None of them are mean to me. Those people you encountered were a special case, they were sent (perhaps by Satan if you believe in that kind of being) to make you not exercise. Keep it up! Tell them to kiss your fat *beeeep*