General chatter - Can we have a venting thread? Yay or Nay?




milliondollarbbw
03-31-2010, 01:20 PM
I have found that there are times when I need to come here just to vent about something that is either weight or diet or weight/diet/society related. I think that there are others that feel the same way, too.

Rather than have multiple different threads, maybe we can have one thread where we can vent, get out how we are feeling, find comraderie or even be able to laugh at the things that irk us from time to time.

Anyone else up for this kind of a thread?

My vent currently is that it is really tiresome having people scrutinize or watch what I eat. Why? It isn't like I just took down a deer and plopped a cooked carcass on the table. I am just eating, like everyone else. But it bothers me at times when people seemed more interested than normal in what is on my plate, or what I brought for lunch. At times, it makes me feel like I need to eat in secret, or significantly undereat in front of others. :(


cathydoe
03-31-2010, 01:32 PM
I hear you! It seems like when some people learn that "changes are being made in the food and eating category" it is a GREEN LIGHT for them to comment or scrutinize what I am eating. What is up with that!?

milliondollarbbw
03-31-2010, 01:36 PM
That is why, for now, I am not telling certain groups of people. I don't want their unsolicited advice---often advice that is borderline preschool (You know that there is no cholesterol in fruit, right?). Sigh.

For me, I am feeling like I am at a point where I just need to not eat in front of certain groups. Even if we are all eating the same, if it is not a very healthy food, I sense more judgment. I have been through this before, and I do know that when I didn't eat in front of that group, I suddenly got more respect. Go figure!


KyAngel1975
03-31-2010, 01:39 PM
Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you mean. I have a co-worker that sits beside me (we share a desk) and everytime I eat she is hovering over me, whats that, how many calories in that? The thing is this woman is bone skinny and eats sandie cookies and a bag of hershey kisses everyday and not gain a ounce, I'm not kidding. She also sits hershey kiss candy on my computer for me to "find" which I find very disrespectful since she knows I am dieting. She has been told by her doctor to eat chocolate bars each day to gain some weight and she is not gaining, makes me sick....

drake3272004
03-31-2010, 09:11 PM
I have gotten to the point where I just don't tell anyone in the meat world when I am making changes to anything in my lifestyle. Otherwise everyone seems to be sabatoging my efforts!

CharlieBaby
04-01-2010, 10:40 AM
KyAngel - I think your coworker is lying to you. Doctors don't advise people to eat chocolate bars. Dietitians advise patients to eat high calorie foods like winegums, and protein shakes (these are the two that stick out in my mind, my best friend is a dietitian), but they wouldn't suggest that she gorge herself on Snickers bars, or whatever else she is parading around with. You should pelt her with those little Hersheys kisses whenever she walks by. That'll teach her ;)

Seriously, just throw them away and don't bother saying anything. She clearly has issues.

SalaamDementia
04-01-2010, 11:08 AM
Oh my god, I know how you feel. For some reason I just snap when someone looks down their nose at me while I'm eating and asks 'should you be eating that?' or 'is that on your diet?' Especially when its totally acceptable food that IS indeed on my plan.

milliondollarbbw
04-01-2010, 12:41 PM
I am in need of a vent today, for sure. I am a bit upset because I talked to the ex yesterday, and he just made it seem like the break-up was all my fault and that I pushed him away with our arguing. I feel so hurt because we argued because of things that he wasn't doing in the relationship. I feel like I did so much for him and put my needs behind his because i felt he needed support. And he told me that he had been thinking about leaving for over a month before he actually did, though at that time, he wouldn't talk about things like that. Deep down I think he is a good person, but I feel like I did so much (which he says he appreciates), but he may not see me as a good girlfriend or partner because of the arguements. I just feel like I don't know about the trust. Plus, he is still talking with this person that he talked to when we were together that I felt was disrespectful.

I feel like I didn't ask for much in our relationship, because I was trying to be supportive, and this is how I am treated. Ugh.

I am also irritated by a person who from day one didn't know what they were doing, and no matter how hard I tried to be helpful, they always acted like they didn't trust my knowlege. Why? Why look down on a person repeatedly? I just don't get it. :(

Mikayla
04-02-2010, 10:40 PM
I could use a vent thread great idea!


So my vent is: Why do people feel they need to justify the way they eat to me? I can't stand it, I eat the way I eat because I want a healthy body. Period. I wasted many years eating crap and I want to get it right this time. If someone else does not want to eat the way I do, I really don't care. There is no need to explain your choices to me.

1bighog
04-03-2010, 08:22 AM
I'm new here and I don't make it a habit to complain about family online, but.......

PSA. When you borrow my truck to haul stuff, you return it with as much gas in the tank as when you received it...especially when you didn't leave your vehicle for me to drive. Also, if it's dirt you've been hauling, at the very least--freaking wash the bed of the truck out!!! I know my truck isn't as nice or new as your BMW, but it runs, it's paid for, and YOU needed it, so be courteous!!!! I don't care if you're family or not. Hmph.

milliondollarbbw
04-05-2010, 05:24 PM
I am venting about the scale today. I get on it this morning, and I am up 2-3lbs. Ugh!!!! Sigh. I will just keep drinking water and avoiding trigger foods hopefully my weight will go back down.

Ruthxxx
04-05-2010, 05:49 PM
We had a venting thread once. It went like this:

When YOU tell me I'm really needed at a quilting session, don't just hang out with the other biddies gossiping while I assemble the quilt for sewing! I feel as if I wasted my morning.

EZMONEY
04-05-2010, 09:34 PM
I have NO PROBLEM with you texting as I pass you on the freeway...YOUR LIFE means absolutely NOTHING to me....

but MINE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

get the ***&%$^^### out of my lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

milliondollarbbw
04-07-2010, 01:04 PM
It is hard when you see people be so openly warm and accepting of others, but when it comes to you that act completely differently.

It is hard being joyful and friendly when you know that a person is not honest or dedicated, yet they are continuously praised. :(

bex
04-11-2010, 10:14 PM
Ooo this is exactly what I need...

I am 21 and have been at university for 4 years now but feel like I am still in high school. My "friends" are awful. I have always been an honest and open person and if I have an opinion you are likely to hear it but in the last 4 years I have learned that these girls like to keep their opinions to themselves and b***ch about everyone behind their back.

So anyway I have new friends and they have made me see the light, the are amazing and also open and honest so I know if they have a problem with me I'm going to know about it BUT I am still hurting because of these old friends. . some of them I have known for 10 years and its really hard to let go. There are a couple of people within the group that I want to stay in contact with but its becoming harder and harder.

Ok rant over. That feels better. Girls suck. This is why I have been flatting with boys for the last 3 years. Haha.

astrophe
04-11-2010, 10:25 PM
I had to deal with TWO of you today that are like this. Whether you mean well but have no clue as to how to respect boundaries or are a selfish git that doesn't care about boundaries... it comes off as rude.

I could drown my anger in emotional eating but I won't. You've taken up more of my time and brain power today than you deserve, and I don't need you on my hips following me around all the time everywhere. Thppppt!

A.

bex
04-11-2010, 10:28 PM
Woo! I love venting. So much more powerful than eating a chocolate bar! :P

goodforme
04-12-2010, 04:34 PM
OOOHHH, me too, me too!!

I am NOT a doctor nor do I play one on TV. I took time off work, drove a ridiculously long way to your office, filled out a ridiculous amount of paperwork, and waited a ridiculously LONG time to see you, and am paying a ridiculous amount of money for this privilege. Why? To get your professional opinion about my dd's injury.

So WHY do you look at me with that pitying, "you really should know better" look on your face and ask me "why did it take you so long to bring her in?"

Um, because the other 3 doctors she saw for the last 2 weeks who wouldn't accept liability and give me some advice I could use kept referring me to the hospital, whereupon they FINALLY told me yesterday to bring her to you! So I feel I was pretty prompt.

Wow, I feel better already!!

milliondollarbbw
04-26-2010, 06:38 PM
Omg! Why, oh why, do some people take any information a heavy person has about health or diet as complete rubish? Sure, I am fat, but it doesn't mean I am ignorant...why the need to try and disprove my beliefs about something (unless are just completely off the wall). But if I base my information on something factual, why act as if anything I know must be wrong?

I know a person who has admitted to having an eating disorder (the kind that keeps you slim, not my kind, that makes me fat), and it always seem like there isn't a melding of minds. If I have a belief about something, this person doesn't agree with it, but always wants to share their beliefs with me. This person even sometimes watches a bit too closely what I am eating. It makes me feel like I have to eat in private, which is not a good thing to start doing.

Ugh! :(

Priscatip
04-26-2010, 06:53 PM
I know you're trying to be kind when you say 'oh honey, you don't need to diet' any time I turn down ANYTHING but for one, i do, for two, please don't tell everyone in hearing distance that I'm on a 'diet' so that they too can judge my belly, for three, i'm still eating with you, i'm just not eating as much, and for four, it's condescending.

milliondollarbbw
04-30-2010, 01:07 PM
I really wish you would stop looking at everything I am eating. Yes, picking up my food to read the label is extremely rude. I understand that you have a weight issue of your own, and you obviously fear gaining any kind of weight, but please, stop pushing your beliefs and thoughts and prejudices on me. It is not your business what I eat, when I eat, or how much I eat.

milliondollarbbw
05-18-2010, 10:57 PM
Well it looks like no one has vented in a while, which is probably a good thing as it means more people are happy. :)

What I want to vent about today is.....people who snoop at what you are eating, make comments about what you should be eating, but act as if you are an idiot when you try and discuss living a healthier lifestyle. It is as if anything you say they automatically cannot believe. Sigh.

amy180
05-23-2010, 01:54 PM
What I want to vent about today is.....people who snoop at what you are eating, make comments about what you should be eating, but act as if you are an idiot when you try and discuss living a healthier lifestyle. It is as if anything you say they automatically cannot believe. Sigh.
This. When I have discussed health issues with some people, i.e, my dad, he has gone on to my mom to say that I have no business talking about healthy foods because I'm fat. For one thing, he brought up the topic. For another, being fat doesn't make me an idiot. (If I recall, I was only suggesting that paying attention to the total calories he ate in a day might be more productive than trying to not eat after 5pm, which causes him to binge late at night). Also, I have lost weight before, so I might know a few things about it, even if I did gain it back.

Also my relatives who tell me I "don't really need that," referring to a food, or my mom suggesting all the time that I should be out exercising, as if I don't know I am overweight and am too stupid to figure out that I should lose weight to be healthier. I am trying. Belittling me is not helping. Also, she is no string bean, either, so it's terrible condescending when she says I'm fat. she actually called me "enormous" last week, and then she acts like she is being helpful and motivating.

milliondollarbbw
05-24-2010, 01:24 AM
This. When I have discussed health issues with some people, i.e, my dad, he has gone on to my mom to say that I have no business talking about healthy foods because I'm fat. For one thing, he brought up the topic. For another, being fat doesn't make me an idiot. (If I recall, I was only suggesting that paying attention to the total calories he ate in a day might be more productive than trying to not eat after 5pm, which causes him to binge late at night). Also, I have lost weight before, so I might know a few things about it, even if I did gain it back.

Also my relatives who tell me I "don't really need that," referring to a food, or my mom suggesting all the time that I should be out exercising, as if I don't know I am overweight and am too stupid to figure out that I should lose weight to be healthier. I am trying. Belittling me is not helping. Also, she is no string bean, either, so it's terrible condescending when she says I'm fat. she actually called me "enormous" last week, and then she acts like she is being helpful and motivating.

((hugs)). I think our family means well, but they just don't know how what they say can be so discouraging at times.

My vent of the day is that I didn't get to be over 300lbs. because I don't know what a calorie is. I am over 300lbs. because I needed to learn how to eat in a way that kept me feeling satisfied (yes, I can binge and eat a whole bag of those rice cake things, and still be hungry!), and yet, kept the calories low and didn't make me feel like I would sell kisses for cookies, ya know? So, it is hard when other people who know my just say no foods will tell others that it is really only about moderation. Sigh. The disconnect is that moderation is easy if you dont have severe hunger issues, but when you have a pastry and are thisclose to going out and buying a dozen to eat, then yeah, something in the food is making your bingeing a bit out of control.