100 lb. Club - I just want to be taken seriously. (gym vent)

03-28-2010, 10:36 AM
I had my first personal trainer session today. Really it was more of an assessment. This guy won't actually be my trainer.

First of all he kept saying "huh" as he was measuring me. Dude! Word to the wise: Never say "huh" while taking a woman's measurements! Apparently my left side is bigger than my right which is odd because I'm right handed. I'm not surprised...I'm actually ambidextrous.

Then he was so patronizing! He gave me really low weights and kept saying things like, "Come on now. I know you can do this." With one machine he didn't put any weight on it all and I said, "Really, no weight?" He snorted and said, "I'll show you weight" and he threw 25 lbs on the machine. Um...no problem. From there on he took me a little more seriously.

My biggest beef was the end of the "session". It was only supposed to be an assessment. I've already worked out six days this week and working out today means I'll be working out seven days this week. I KILLED myself on Wednesday and I told him that! I'm still recovering and I was under the impression that that was important. So he left me and said, "Ok, now I want to see you do this whole set again then give me 30 minutes on the cardio." I told him basically "no" and he made a huge to-do about it and told the guy at the front desk not to let me out. I HATE that!! It made me feel like a wimp. It's like he thinks that's his job, to make me feel bad about myself. It has the opposite effect on me. I'm already hard enough on myself.

He did not listen to me at all. Not at all. He didn't think I could do anything and then in the end, didn't listen to me when I knew it was time to quit. He worked the same muscle group today that I told him I killed on Wednesday and then chastised me when I said I'd had enough.

I don't know if this is because I'm fat, a woman, or too sensitive.

One more little addition: I'm feeling really whimpy having written this. You all have to know this about me...I take things too seriously at the gym and I work out HARD. I showed him everything I had done already this week and he was surprised at the beginning of the session. So I thought he'd see that I should really not be working out today. Today was my rest day. Whatever....It just wasn't what I expected. I just wanted him to listen to me and not ridicule me.

03-28-2010, 10:42 AM
I would complain to management and make sure you have a new trainer. The last trainer I worked with was a male and great but I gave up. I had not reached the point where I wanted to do it for myself instead of someone else.

Trainers are there to help push you but also listen to you.

03-28-2010, 11:01 AM
Sounds like he didn't listen to you and made some ASSumptions. Is it possible to get a different trainer or vote with your feet by going to another establishment if that fails?

03-28-2010, 11:10 AM
he made a huge to-do about it and told the guy at the front desk not to let me out.
Seriously!?! Wow, what a jerk. Every trainer has a different style and clearly this guy thinks being evil is the way to go. Although maybe he was having a really off day. Either way, since he isn't going to be your personal trainer I'd forget the incident and move on. You're so much better than he gave you credit for, so don't let his negativity bring you down! When you do finally meet with your trainer remember that it's sort of like dating, if you don't mesh do not hesitate to try someone else out, the key (in my opinion) to trainers is finding someone that works with your personality. Stay strong, ignore the jerk, and keep up the great work!

03-28-2010, 11:15 AM
He's an ***. Don't train with him again. End of story.

03-28-2010, 11:30 AM
Yeah, I agree. I don't think you should continue to train with him if he makes you uncomfortable. You're paying for a trainer, right? Well, then you should feel like you are getting your money's worth, and you should not feel uncomfortable. I'm guessing he was just trying to push you a little more, but didn't realize it was really upsetting you.

03-28-2010, 11:33 AM
Thanks guys! I'm glad to see that maybe I wasn't just being sensitive.

I'm all for pushing, that's just it. Push me, by all means, but whoever works with me has got to also tell me when to rest or at least listen when I say I need it.

03-28-2010, 11:43 AM
What a jerk. I hope you're able to find someone who listens to you and encourages you in the right way.

I would definitely talk to the management of the gym about him.

03-28-2010, 12:09 PM
I would go speak to the management of the gym, explain what are the qualities you would like in your personal trainer and ask for their recommendations. Not every trainer is a good match for every person. Good luck finding the right one.

03-28-2010, 01:31 PM
Eliana, Listen to your instincts (and sore muscles from the Wednesday workout) and RUN, RUN, RUN in the other direction from this guy! Surely, there are other trainers at the gym, and I would insist on changing.

I had a trainer who was a very NICE guy BUT did not listen to what I was experiencing. After jumping rope for the second workout and seriously spraining my ankles, I realized the only person who could understand what I was feeling was me. From what I recall from our conversations, he just didn't understand some of the challenges of post-menopause (he is 1/2 my age).

Please do not let this experience turn you off from working out or with weights. Keep looking for the best trainer for you; it's what you deserve!


03-28-2010, 01:32 PM
What? He sounds like an idiot. I would definitely work with somebody more encouraging.

03-28-2010, 02:41 PM
Oh my god...From what you have described, he's got ego issues, and seems to dislike women...ditch !

03-28-2010, 03:28 PM
People just love to stereotype obese people. everyone thinks we pig out on desserts massive meals and snacks, like we eat constantly. They also like to tell themselves that we are lazy, don't work out etc. they do this because then they feel like they don't have to worry about every gaining so much weight. They are lying to themselves though, a medical condition, the wrong medication or over indulging once a week for a few years can really pack on the pounds. The guy is a jerk and uninformed!

03-28-2010, 04:18 PM
oh gawd. What an *ss!!!!!!

03-28-2010, 04:38 PM
Gosh, new trainer! I've had good ones and bad ones, and the only thing to do with a bad one is move on. Never work with a trainer who won't listen to you.


03-28-2010, 06:07 PM
What a jerk! When I was looking for a PT, I interviewed them over the phone. I was BLUNT! I told them each "I don't want a size 2 cheerleader. I want someone that can stand up to my strong personality. I prefer not a man. (I can bulldoze over most men) Joann(my trainer) is a size 2 but she is tuff! She doesn't 'ask' me to do something. She TELLS me! Thats what I need tho. I pay $40. an hour for her. Sometimes I HATE HER. But I am getting results so its working.

Try someone else and tell them up front EXACTLY what YOU expect. Just whatever you do don't give up. YOU CAN DO IT!

04-09-2010, 10:09 PM
I had an issue like this with my gym teacher in high school. I was already pretty overweight when I was in her class, and some days I just had a problem with my ankles hurting and etc. She would accuse me of being lazy, even though I worked my butt off more than anyone else in the class, and improved my mile from 22 minutes to 13. But because I couldn't do it in 7, she criticized me. I just think people have this idea that overweight people are just lazy and looking for an excuse to get out of any physical activity, where if you were thin and said, "Hey look, my ankle is really hurting today, I must have strained it, can I just do a light jog or walk today instead?" she would have been like, "Oh, okay, sure."

But, it was my fault to let something like that bother me. I'm pretty sensitive, yet still over all of these years I still get upset remembering it when I should just get over it already. But all this time it just furthers my fear of people thinking I'm lazy. Who cares what people think? I know, easier said than done, but honestly, if you're doing this for YOU, then it doesn't matter what they think. Someday you'll be all thin and prove them wrong :) As for me, I'll probably never see that gym teacher again, but I don't have to. It's all in the mind!

04-10-2010, 08:58 AM
Rakel, I have the same "laziness" issues, only mine don't stem from anything. I think it's just the cultural fact that the words "fat" and "lazy" are OFTEN paired. Therefore, if one is fat, one must be lazy too. I work harder than I lot of people I know! Most people who are fat do! Heck, it's four time harder for an obese person just to get out of the bed! Or tie their shoes. Or pick something up off the floor.

I love the PT I ended up with. I told him about my bad shoulder right off the bat and he has had the same injury, so he was really good about putting me through exercises to strengthen it but that wouldn't hurt it. He had my shoulder muscles burning and I was so afraid they would hurt the next day, but they did not. :D And I have been protecting those puppies for years!

04-10-2010, 11:54 AM
......and they wonder WHY some people won't go to the gym.....for EXACTLY the way he acted.

As you (or some of you know) me and my family joined one this week....thanksfully there are people of ALL SIZES there so I don't feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.

I just can't believe he was making so many judgements - I'm sorry you had to endure that.

Look for a new trainer and steer clear of him. sheesh!