100 lb. Club - Boyfriends Suck
03-28-2010, 12:25 AM
Boyfriends suck! At least mine does. He keeps telling me I'm perfect just the way I am and I keep baking him yummy treats, because he loves them, and it is VERY VERY HARD to not have a bite. And...I'm back up in a size 14/16 from being in a 12/14. :(
So, this week, we came to an understanding. I will bake for him IF he doesn't offer me a bite and IF it's something he can eat in one sitting. Like, 4 muffins. Or 2 cupcakes. Etc. No leftovers, no saving any for tomorrow. I even told him he can eat part of it and go put the rest in the trunk of his car. But it CANNOT stay in my house.
He is also willing to try eating some of what I eat, sometimes. E.g., chicken and lettuce, etc.
He's 6'4 and about 250 (almost all of it in all the right places). He eats crap all day long and doesn't LOSE weight, but he also doesn't gain any. Well, he has gained a couple lbs over the last 2 months, which is how long we've been dating.
Boyfriends suck! Except that they don't. I really think this is going to end up in me not being able to cook for him at all, unless he's willing to eat what I eat. I told him he HAS to have his cholesterol checked and give me the results (deadline May 1st) and if the numbers didn't check out, NO MORE TREATS. But I may have to quit baking anyway, I just don't think I can handle it.
Oh well, things are pretty great otherwise. :) Darn carbs, I hate them and they hate me. It's a hate/hate relationship.
03-28-2010, 12:35 AM
I can see you glowing from here! :)
Sounds like you are really suffering in this relationship. ;) Seriously, there are a bunch of websites and cookbooks dedicated to baking healthy treats. Maybe you could start making him some tasty but healthier treats that wouldn't hurt you too much to taste.
03-28-2010, 08:21 AM
I'm sure he loves the thought and care you've put into baking for him. Is there another way that he'd feel just as loved? If he has to get his food treats elsewhere there may be a replacement thing you could do instead to show care?
03-28-2010, 11:32 AM
Oh he gets plenty of 'replacement' don't worry. ;) Sadly there aren't any treats we can both share, I'm so carb-sensitive I never, ever, ever get any kind of 'treats' at all. For me, a treat is 1/2 teaspoon of 1000 island dressing on 3 cups of salad. Or 4 oz of caffeine-free diet pepsi once a month. I am seriously, seriously carb sensitive. I mean, I have been having literally the equivalent of ONE SMALL BITE of, like, chocolate mousse pie, etc., like three times a week maybe and this tiny level of indulgence, which I'm sure almost anyone else on here could handle, has caused me to gain almost 15 lbs in 2 months. We're talking, my carb count has maybe gone from 25 to 40 three days a week, and that's causing me to gain. I am so sensitive to carbs, it just isn't fair. Oh well, life's not fair. :)
03-28-2010, 12:00 PM
Holy crap now that's sensitive!!!
03-28-2010, 12:05 PM
Were you always carb sensitive, or has it become worse once you starting cutting them out?
I can't imagine how hard it would be to bake sweets for someone and not even be able to have a bite. I've been making my bf eat what I eat if he wants to share a meal with me!
03-28-2010, 12:05 PM
Look up some recipes for low-carb desserts. There are a lot of them out there, and maybe you can find some that you can tolerate AND your boyfriend will like.
03-28-2010, 01:15 PM
Boyfriends do suck. lol
My most recent ex...well he liked to cook and bake. A lot. Tons of terrible for you food. He also loved fast food just as much as I do....Within 6 months I had gained 50 lbs. Yes, you read it right, 50 LBS....
Well, once I started my weight loss journey...I was still dating him, and I did just fine. It was hard at first, to resist the lovely things that he cooked for himself...but I convinced him that every time I asked him for some, he should tell me "Is it really worth going up another pant size?"...which was awkward for him at first because he thought I was going to get mad at him...but in the long run it really helped me to stay away from his food. We ate separately, cooked separately, even stored our food separately...so that I could think to myself "okay those foods are his, not mine, so I'm not going to eat them"
It IS hard, but it is something that you can get past. He just needs to be willing to work with you and occasionally remind you that maybe you shouldn't be eating that snack...and you need to be willing to accept his help without getting upset with him for suggesting that maybe it's something you shouldn't be eating. lol
03-28-2010, 05:31 PM
too funny. my bf eats devil dogs EVERY DAY! we have boxes of them in the house. and he HAS to have chocolate, so we have a jar of mini chocolate bars. then there's the line: I didn't eat them because I was saving them for you (for "them" put in any special goody that might come into the house, ha); and "you eat the rest..."
nicely meant, I know, but DUDE! ha!
03-28-2010, 06:33 PM
DC darling, I am pretty certain you can do OTHER nice things for him to show him you care besides making foods that will derail you. And no, I'm not even talking about THAT ;).
Leave him sweet little notes, give him a back rub, take walks, write him a poem, buy him tickets to a sporting event, get involved in one of his hobbies, buy him some cologne or a small article of clothing every now and than, send him sexy text messages, clean his apartment, make him a scrapbook, take photos...
About the food - make him DELICIOUS chicken - chicken marsala, taco chicken salad, chicken cactatorie, honey mustard chicken. Make him chillis, outrageous salads, phenomenal soups...
This baking stuff sounds very risky to me and I am concerned about you. Please rethink.:hug:
03-28-2010, 06:46 PM
Wow! That is carb sensitive. I'm hoping you find a food treat or meal you can both enjoy.
Lol @ the plenty of replacement.
03-29-2010, 12:45 AM
Yeaaah, I feel your pain dude. Boyfriend loves my baking, but I have yet to master the art of giving away the spoils of my baking ventures. If you figure it out, let me know lol.
You're smarter than I am though, I never thought of baking smaller amounts like that and making him eat it all. Lol so awesome.
03-29-2010, 11:56 AM
While I accept full responsibility for my weight gain, I think I can blame at least some of it DH - or at least being in a happy marriage.
For me, I was comfortable; he was accepting of the changes in my body; we both loved to eat together; he ate a lot of junk food and I ate with him. We were happily getting fat together. Eventually his crazy ability to not gain even when eating junk left him. Now, I am making efforts to lose and he is slowly making changes.
My advice is to nip this trend right away. Like Robin said, there are SO MANY things the two of you can do together that don't have to center on food. Even though its a new relationship, you don't have to do everything together. Make sure you are still taking the time to do the exercise you've always done. And, if he wants junk, fine but don't put it in your mouth. Get used to "mine" and "his" - at least in the food arena.
None of this takes away the fact that I am so happy for you that your relationship is going well! :hug:
03-29-2010, 12:04 PM
It really sounds like you can sit him down and talk to him though!!!! You will probably have to remind him constantly, don't worry, I have to remind my HUSBAND, lol! Try looking up healthy treats, like someone suggested earlier, or maybe just having one day a week to every two weeks that you bake for him. Tell him if he doesn't get food treats every day, it will be extra special when he does. Good luck sweetpea, it sounds like you have a real struggle on your hands!!!
03-29-2010, 12:20 PM
When I first started dating my husband, I gained a few lbs but he was the one that noticed first for himself. He said he gained weight and he had gained 5 lbs. We had been going out to eat quite a bit, especially Indian food. So basically we cut back on Indian food and made a few other changes.
03-29-2010, 12:33 PM
I second the notion of giving up baking! I gave it up years ago. My best girlfriend bakes and I cook, so we have lovely meals together. ;) There's just so much more to cooking than sweets! And it isn't healthy for him, either. ;)
03-29-2010, 01:49 PM
Is he trying to sabotage? or just not understand how your body works? I agree with the others. Sit him down and tell him what you are feeling and how he can help. Maybe ask him to 'problem solve". Most guys like to do that.
Good luck with keeping your communication lines open.