100 lb. Club - long story.........but interesting!

03-25-2010, 05:53 PM
So....I just feel like sharing this, it's really wild and I think it took me a good 48 hours to absorb.

Some back story...........

I am 40 - a young 40 but 40 - you know the 40 where people say - really? I thought you were like 35 or younger, til my teenagers give it away type 40 years old. Anywho..........

I was raised by my dad from the age of 12 months, he and my mom split up and we never heard from her again. My dad's older sister and her husband helped me a lot - so much so that I called my Aunt - MOM, she unfortunately passed away from cancer nearly 14 years ago, but for all intense and purposes that was REALLY my "mom" - she did everything you know, like mothered me, bought be socks and underwear still as an adult, you know MOM stuff. The 3 of them did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.

So fast forward 39 years, a husband of 17 years and 2 teenagers later and I get a facebook message on saturday that reads:

I think you are my daugther?

So I write back, we'll if you're name is so and so and you were married to so and so then YEP! It's me and (put my phone number).

She called, immediately - we talked for about an hour and then she sent me some pictures, as I had suspected, I am a deadringer for her.

It's still crazy to think that FINALLY this has happened and I have no expectations AT ALL, I really don't, it's just nice to finally know that she did look for me. I would look off and on over the years.

So - anyway....just felt like sharing, we'll see if something comes of it or if she reaches out again, but again, nice to know she has searched.

Thanks for letting me share! ;)

Shannon in ATL
03-25-2010, 06:06 PM

Gourmet Bean
03-25-2010, 06:09 PM
WOW!! Didn't see that coming!

03-25-2010, 06:10 PM
wow thats amazing that happened to my boyfriend last year!

03-25-2010, 06:12 PM
That's a pretty incredible story!! Good luck on getting to know your mom! :)

03-25-2010, 06:18 PM
Amazing story! I don't think a parent (especially a mother) never forgets their child! I wish the best for you!

03-25-2010, 06:32 PM
Wow that's an amazing story! My fiance's mother left his father when my fiance was only 7. His father raised my future hubby, his 4 year old sister, and 1 year old brother alone and they never heard from her again. We've talked for years about what it would be like for him to one day talk to her. He always figures that if she hasn't tried to reach out already, she probably won't ever, since it's been 16 years already. But hey, it's been 39 years for you so you've kinda given me hope that it's still possible. I truly hope it works out for you, whatever that means to YOU in terms of amount of contact :)

03-25-2010, 07:04 PM

03-25-2010, 07:20 PM
I'll say it again, WOW! I know you can't really tell a lot of emotions by reading but you sound so calm. How are you feeling with all of this? Does she live in TX too? Wow...I know I have caught up with some old college friends but your hookup out does that...I hope it works out to be a fairytale with a happy ending! :)

03-25-2010, 07:38 PM
Wow! That's amazing!


Arctic Mama
03-25-2010, 09:16 PM
How wonderful that you two are able to reconnect after so many years!

03-25-2010, 10:59 PM
another wow - it's hard to think of anything else to say!!

good luck figuring out where to go from here. Have you talked to your dad about it yet?

03-25-2010, 11:29 PM
to PeanutsMom - yes - my Dad knows, he was shocked to say the least, he's just more concerned with me getting hurt.

And an UPDATE - she called me again this evening and asked a lot about my kids, since she saw their pictures on facebook, etc....

So....we'll see where it goes, I really have NO expectations and who knows it could end up being a good friendship in time.

03-26-2010, 12:46 AM
Thats amazing!
I feel like facebook is amazing for this. It seems like almost everyone I know has found someone on facebook they thought they would never hear from again

03-26-2010, 06:38 AM
Wow. Big day for you! Facebook realy is kind of amazing in that way. Hope all goes well for you.

03-26-2010, 09:17 AM
Wow. You're awfully calm, cool and collected about this. I admire it. Your mom is very lucky. ;) Seriously...

03-26-2010, 09:44 AM
This is wonderful, and, I would imagine, also scary.

I am wondering: Are you calm, cool & collected, or maybe still processing the magnitude of what's happened in your life? (Hey, I know I would be.) So hard to tell from words on the page.

I think what you're trying to say, by also telling us about your very close relationship with your aunt, is that you did not go motherless when you were younger. There was a loving female figure in your life whom you thought of as your mother, though you knew she wasn't, exactly. So maybe it's hard to figure out what you need from your birth mother or what the relationship will be. You do know, of course, that you can love them both without being false to the memory of your aunt in any way. (I am sure you know but sometimes people actually have to hear that stuff.)

I think you & your mother are going to be figuring out how you will be together & what kind of contact you'll have for a while. These things take time. (I would imagine it's almost like "dating" your mother as you try to get to know her: Online messages, calls, eventually a meeting, a couple "play dates.") I think you are sensible in just taking it as it comes, moment by moment.

Congratulations on holding up under an earth-shaking.

03-26-2010, 09:45 AM
Wow! I hope it goes well in forming a relationship with her.

03-26-2010, 11:26 AM
Thanks everyone for your kind words.........and SAEF for your thoughtfullness.

Yes, overall - it is a lot of process, like I said, I think I was in a daze for the first 48 hours.

It's funny - I had finally talked my dad into get a facebook......and then within a few weeks, is when my mom reached out to me - and they are both 64 so I think the age demographic on FB is changing.

I am very fortunate that my dad and family never spoke poorly about my mom - so I dont have this 'boogie man' image. And after all of this time and me really feeling like I didn't miss out on anything, I am just welcoming of letting whatever happends happen...you know?

03-26-2010, 11:45 AM
wow, how cool. Sounds like you are handling it all so well! awesome!

03-26-2010, 12:50 PM
That's cool! Although, I gotta ask.....are you not pissed off just a little bit that she abandoned you at such a young age? Have you had that conversation yet?
Like the others have said, you are taking this really well. Good for you!

03-26-2010, 02:49 PM
wow. Freaking crazy! I can't wait to hear how this will all pan out!!!

03-26-2010, 02:56 PM
That's cool! Although, I gotta ask.....are you not pissed off just a little bit that she abandoned you at such a young age? Have you had that conversation yet?
Like the others have said, you are taking this really well. Good for you!

Nope, not pissed at all. I have never been bitter or anything - ever. Maybe if I hated my life or had ever FELT abandoned I would be upset, but I never grew up feeling that and THAT I thank God for, really and truely.