General chatter - Are you a selfish dieter when it comes to "your" food.

03-23-2010, 08:13 PM
I have a very fit girlfriend that is constantly eating foods on my diet plan and it's pissing me off. Ok i'm done. She knows food is my drug. As far as I'm concerned it's like huffing someones asthma medicine.

03-23-2010, 08:33 PM
heh, that would annoy me alot! thankfully, my gf has different tastes in food than i do

03-23-2010, 10:02 PM
I decided I have an unhealthy relationship with food when I would feel pissed that my son wants to eat "my food." I mean, he's my child, I'd die for him. Why do I care if he wants the last of the soy dream ice cream? (I give it to him, but it ticks me off inside, lol)

03-23-2010, 10:45 PM
Hubby needs to be dieting too, but he's much more lax about it, so I'm very happy when I see him eating something healthy. I do sometimes get annoyed when he eats "the last one" of something I was looking forward to, but I realize it's very silly. Especially since he points out that he's willing any time of day, to run out and get me whatever I want (I was pretty skeptical of this offer, but I have cashed it in a couple times, and he really will go out and get me anything I want). With several 24/7 grocery stores in town, there's nothing he can eat, that I can't get replaced within 20 minutes.

If you are not living together, I think the situation is a bit different (If hubby and I weren't living together, I'd tell him go home and eat YOUR food or at the very least, ask before eating mine). If you're living together, I do tend to see the food as being community property unless specified otherwise. I don't take hubby's pistachios, especially the last of the pistachios without asking, because he LOVES them, whereas I only like them... We also each have a shelf in the fridge and a small bin in the kitchen pantry that is "hands off" (without permission) to the other person. And even that is negotiable. Hubby goes through juice faster than I do (because he drinks juice daily and undiluted and I only drink mine occasionally and when I do I mix it in smoothies or dilute with sparkling water or diet Sprite). We buys his juice in large bottles and mine in 12 - 20 ounce cans or bottles. As a result it's not uncommon when he runs out to ask if he can have some of mine (which he generally replaces within a day or two).

I don't think a medication analogy is a very good one. If someone uses my prescription medication, I won't be able to get more if I run out before I can fill my refill. If someone eats the last apple, I can get to the grocery store and get more (or ask hubby to do it).

Healthy food is "medicine" that everyone should be taking, so having healthy foods off-limits to the non-dieters doesn't really make much sense, unless money is so tight that you can afford only enough healthy, good food for one of you. If that's the case, it needs to be negotiated and discussed.

Also, if the non -dieting person in a couple has no interest in healthy food at the grocery store, and then ignores "their" crappy food and eats the dieter's healthy food, that's also a different issue.

03-23-2010, 10:54 PM
I hate having to shop. I have a pretty routine schedule of what I eat. Low fat food costs twice as much as full fat so when there is regular cheese and your skinny eat would it hurt to just eat the full fat. Ha. I'm not a selfish guy by any means but I guess I get obsessive when I'm not prepared for the week.

03-23-2010, 10:58 PM
I like Sobe LifeWater, the kind that's sweetened with Stevia and has no sugar or artificial sweeteners, but it's expensive. I bought 10 on sale for $1 each and got a $5 Target gift card, making them affordable for once!

I woke up one morning and my daughter and her girlfriend had drank 6 of them overnight. 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I waa not happy; these are my "special" drinks and they are welcome to 1 per day, as I am, but 6 (3 each, effectively) overnight? Ridiculous. AND after I had just made 2 pitchers of fancy organic iced tea that they love, and told them it was for them.

Oh well. Life goes on!

Other than that type of thing, I don't care if they eat a lot of the food in the house, as I like to see my daughter and her friends eating well and I know they do when they're here. :)

03-24-2010, 12:27 AM
I would also be selfish, if I weren't prepared or couldn't count on having plenty of healthy options in the house at all times. Hubby and I have a tendency to overstock food, which I think makes me a lot less possessive of healthy food than I otherwise would be (especially in our new apartment, but even in our previous, tiny, cramped apartment).

We're on a very tight budget, but not so tight that we can't afford to stock up when we find really good buys. In our old apartment, that meant storing food in the spare bedroom, and even in my cedar chest or under the bed.

In our current apartment, we have a huge walk-in kitchen pantry (it's larger than any of the apartment closets), and for Christmas we bought a small chest freezer. Having the extra food storage space, means we stock up and there's always something to eat (and most of it is healthy, because we don't buy much that isn't).

It's funny though too, because I always knew better, but still half-assumed that if we bought only healthy food, we couldn't help but lose weight. In actuality, not so much. Too much healthy food, is still too much food.

Of shelf-stable foods and foods that can be frozen, there's no danger at all of running out. Even when it comes to fresh perishables, we live within a block of a small oriental grocery and within two blocks of a large more upscale grocery store (high prices, but good sales) two blocks away. If my foods-of-choice required even slightly more effort to obtain, it would be more of an issue.

Now that the weather is nicer, I'm really looking forward to bicycling to the stores. I love that we now live in a very convenient location (our previous apartment was in-the-boonies to some degree).

03-24-2010, 12:34 AM
Passionista - they have them way cheaper at Costco, if you're a member. Mmm, lifewater!

It really only ever bothers me if it's almost the end of the week, the grocery stock is running low, and my wife eats something I had already planned for my snack, leaving me with no options that fit in my plan. My diet is a little more restricted than hers (though we both eat healthfully) so if there's only "her" food left, I'm not able to dip into it without going off plan, so if she has a choice between something only she can eat and something she and I can eat and picks the one thing I can eat, that bothers me.

But I also realized she had no idea about this. So when we get toward the end of the week, I make sure that as she's packing her food for the day, I say "Hey, babe, can you leave the last cheese stick/apple/etc. for me? It's on my plan for the day". And then we have no problems.

03-24-2010, 11:32 AM
I totally know what you mean. I think I get more mad when it's a situation like mandalinn said - either I got it specifically for me or it's the end of the week and we need to go shop so we're low on many things. Just recently, I decided I would allow myself a treat so while I was out I got a small bag of twizzlers. When I got home, I could have sworn I told my husband that they were for "us" to share but after putting things away, changing my clothes, and a couple other things I came back in the room to two pieces left... TWO PIECES?! That was my planned treat for myself. I yelled, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! He says he thought I told him they were for him. I know I overreacted and shouldn't have been mad, but gees man! Needless to say I took the pieces that he offered and saved them for later to eat. This stuff doesn't happen often and maybe that's why it irritates me when it does. From then on I *try* my darndest to make it clear when I'm picking something out just for me and offer to get one for him too if he wants.

03-24-2010, 11:41 AM
It's so funny this was brought up today! I am on the slimfast diet for the 1st 20 lbs of my 60 lbs to lose (10 down, 10 to go!) and the other morning I woke up and my husband was drinking my lunch! I have been doing so well and I wake up to find him drinking my lunch! I guess it wouldn't be a big deal if he had any plans of doing the slimfast thing, I would just go buy some more. But... he doesn't.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to death! But, common now! Really? Really??? It irked me a little bit, so I can definitely see where you are coming from : )

03-24-2010, 12:13 PM
I always got annoyed when my boyfriend would take my soymilk, rice cakes, 100-calorie popcorn bags, apples, etc. I felt like if I had to eat this miserable crap it should at least be there when I wanted it! ;)

Now we make sort of a joke out of it now; when I come home from the grocery store, I show him everything and say DO NOT TOUCH THIS!! He stopped because he knows I'm on a tight budget and need my healthy food to pull its weight in terms of my wallet. But I used to get really annoyed when he'd eat my healthy stuff.

03-24-2010, 12:25 PM
Well, my situation is different in that it's my roommate and we don't share food. I found out she's been taking my snacks from my snack cupboard-and they're all 100 calorie packs so they're expensive. Effectively for me it's like she's stealing because, as I said we don't share food and she's been taking them without my knowledge. I was NOT pleased but haven't decided the best way to broach the subject with her...

03-24-2010, 12:42 PM
we don't share food and she's been taking them without my knowledge. I was NOT pleased but haven't decided the best way to broach the subject with her...

Ah, that is a sticky one. With roommates, I find that a note with your name on it goes a long way. It's non-confrontational, but it shows that you've noticed and you want it to stop.

03-24-2010, 01:26 PM
I bought 10 single serve Fage 2% Greek yogurts with honey on Monday. DS #2 asked me what they tasted like. I (generously) gave him one. He loved it! They were to last me and DD through the week (she eats them with lunch, I have one for a snack). They're gone....I was stuck with the last Yoplait Greek yogurt-wanna-be....not satisfying! Oh well, he needs healthy food too. I'll buy 20 next time.

03-24-2010, 02:12 PM
I am posting here again because my brother got into town last night and apparently stayed up half the night drinking my unsweetened soy milk and my tazo chai tea (My soy chai's are my breakfast and one daily treat I give myself). I'm on foodstamps for goodness sake! I love having him visit but he knows I'm on a tight budget, so having him come to the house and eat all my food when he knows I can't afford more is so rude (that boy can EAT! And he's a toothpick, so unfair!). So I did not get my morning chai, and I had to convince my son to eat something besides cereal with soymilk for breakfast. I wish he would buy his own food when he comes here and stays all week, he has a good job, but he thinks I should feed him since he's an (uninvited) "guest."

Regera Dowdy
03-25-2010, 03:39 AM
I don't feel very strongly about it because I can't eat everything before it goes bad, like the bread and vegetables. It helps that my dad and sister also started to eat healthier about two weeks after me, so we're all in the same boat and we tend to eat the same things. I think I was worse about being selfish with food when I wasn't dieting. People were eating my cookies or my candy bars! I got those just for me! Now, the only thing that's just for me is my dark chocolate candy bar, which I keep in my desk.

It would be a lot harder if I were on my own, especially since I pay for a lot of my own food and I only have a part time job. Since the three of us are together, we share the load. It's also pretty easy to stop at the grocery store after work. I think as I spend more on better quality ingredients, I may feel differently because it's expensive, but the problem will be the cost, not the inconvenience of going out or the restrictions on what I can eat.

03-25-2010, 03:08 PM
OMG I was so embarrassed to say anything about this before because I thought I was the only one! Ha! I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE when people eat my food. Hate it. I used to bring home these low-cal cherry oat bran muffins from work. They didn't cost me anything b/c we can take home about 3 a day, but I only work 2 days a week. I try to get 6 b/c my mom and I share them. We're both trying to lose weight. My dad, on the other hand, eats anything. He doesn't care about what he eats at all (he's overweight and diabetic, and he refuses to do anything about it - so frustrating!). He will easily eat one of these big, healthy muffins WITH ICE CREAM for a "snack" when one of them is supposed to be my breakfast!! They're too expensive to buy when I don't get them for free. But OK, let's say he wanted to eat healthy and these worked for him... Then I'd be a lot more supportive. But then he ate my Pure Protein bars, thinking they were candy bars. Those little tiny bars a.) are FREAKING expensive and b.) don't taste a thing like candy bars. He ate 3 in one go. Those were my post-run snacks for a whole week. REALLY????

Ahhh. How frustrating!

03-27-2010, 09:09 PM
This reminds me so much of my ex. The last year we were together I was in such a bad emotional state that it was affecting my digestion, so I was staying away from bread (especially white bread), but was able to eat whole wheat wraps fine. He had his bread, I had my wraps, it was fine. I woke up one morning for breakfast, went to make my wrap, which I knew I had two left. He had eaten them, and there was half a loaf of bread sitting on the counter.
He was a very selfish man and didn't understand why I was mad. We had a grocery store across the street from us, but it did no good, cause he'd spend the money as soon as we got it. So glad I'm rid of him.

03-28-2010, 01:17 AM
Wow...that would annoy me also, going through the effort of taking the time to plan out my food, shop for it, then have someone else eat it - when there are other things they could eat.

I live alone, so I don't ever have that problem LOL. Buy I do get mad at myself when I know I have to make something last the whole week and then I overindulge one the end of the week I'm cursing myself out. .

A friend at work said when her three kids were teenagers, both she and her husband would use the empty frozen veggie bags to hide their goodies in the freezer. They said they were tired of all the 'good' things being gone. I always thought that was funny. To this day her kids don't know they did that. hehehe. Score parents!!

s rosa
03-28-2010, 02:15 AM
I was really, REALLY selfish when it came to my JUNK food - how stupid of me, now that I think of it. But man. It was bad. NOBODY could come near my cheez its, chips, or cheese. DH hasn't been home since I've been trying to eat healthier, so I'm not sure how it'll be. Usually I'm pretty selfish about "my" food, but the man refuses practically anything green. If I can get him to eat something healthy, it'll be worth the extra trip to the grocery store for more. He's a stringbean right now, but he won't always be that way, and I think it would actually be easier for both of us if he would be into eating the same healthy foods that I like.

Now, when I have friends over, that's a different story. I get pissed when they eat my pre-planned, healthy snacks. Some of that stuff is freaking expensive, go get your own food!