General chatter - Economic bust hitting home




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mom4life
03-22-2010, 11:13 AM
My mom just told me that she lost her job (the place shut down) which she'd been working at for over 20+ years. She's in her mid 50's and is currently living in So Cal. She knows how crappy things are out there when it comes to work. We moved to TX almost 3 yrs ago and we're so happy we did because we barely escaped the housing market crash.
Since my oldest moved out 3 months ago we have an extra room and I told her she was welcomed to stay with us till she got settled out here. Her first priority is to help me by being here when the baby comes, so she'll be coming 3 weeks before the baby's due date just to play it safe. From there she plans to sell her house and buy one out here.
My sister is also going through rough times out there, she still has a job but she's said that its been going very slow and she's scared the place will close down too. So she says she will be the next one to move out here soon.
I know my mom's main motivation to come here is to find a job but also to be near her grandchildren. since I left So Cal she'd only seen them twice in the 3 yrs we've lived here, moving closer make her a huge part in their lives. :)
My only worries are that she was the reason why I left So Cal in the first place, she was so critical my whole life about weight down to my choices on parenting. Since we moved, we've gotten closer and she's been very supportive about my weight loss and no longer says anything about my parenting, she's supported all my choices. I just hope this continues when she moves out here.


ANewCreation
03-22-2010, 11:29 AM
I applaud you for being there for your mom. And, what a blessing that she will be there to help you with your newborn.

I encourage you to develop a plan ahead of time. Speaking from experience, it's always good to set boundaries and expectations from the get-go. Let her know what you expect and hear her out too. Discuss everything that might be of concern to either of you. Do you have a time limit on how long she can stay? Or is it open ended? Or for example, will it bother you if she eats in her room or is that okay? There are no wrong or right answers but often we find out AFTER someone has done something that it interfers with our lifestyle or just plain old annoys us! Never assume she will keep the same hours as you or have the same habits.

Also, come up with a plan to deal with any previous issues you've had. You can choose to confront her, ignore her or have a handy catch phrase should she start to pick at you for your weight, parenting, etc. Again, no wrong or right answers. But, having a plan is always a good idea!

My best to you and yours!

nelie
03-22-2010, 11:34 AM
My parents also live in SoCal and my mom is super stressed right now about work and what not. I discussed with my husband and if anything happened, we would be able to cover them financially until things flushed out. She is close to retirement age but it is kind of scary since her retirement comes from the state of California, now sure how that'd work if she did retire and they said they had no money to distribute money.


mom4life
03-22-2010, 01:03 PM
Anewcreation, My mom is a major perfectionist when it comes to cleaning, I'd be worried that she would be nit-picking on my not being so clean. But then again the last couple times she came she cleaned here and there and didn't say much just that she knew how busy I was with the kids that she was shocked I got anything done around the house. LOL
We haven't talked yet about time but I know the way she is about imposing so I know she'll want to get her own place soon. But you're right we need to set boundaries and talk about the time frame on her stay. She already told me she'd be helping out financially and with the kids.

Nelie- I didn't think about that...retirement. Since they gave out IOU's last year (not sure about this year) for Tax returns, I could only imagine how retirement would pan out. :(
I just hope she'll be able to find a job here and that would all roll over to that job.