This weekend we took a little trip to an herb farm/zoo. Well, they had this huge pond with ducks, geese, and swans, and paddle boats you could rent for only $1.00.
Of course my 7 year old daughter wanted to go on a paddle boat and I had to tell her I couldn't. First of all, I had no idea if there was a weight restriction. I also saw a man who was probably 75 pounds less than me with his little boy in a paddle boat. The man's side was way deeper in the water.
There was no way I was going to get one of those boats and capsize us or have my side of the boat practically underwater!
My daughter was sooooo disappointed and I don't blame her. She still doesn't know how to swim because I don't get in the water with her. How sad that she's missing out on fun things because I'm so heavy. And it's not just her that's missing out---I am too and I'm tired of it. (We do lots of fun things together too, it's just sad when there are enjoyable things we miss out on ONLY because of my weight and not anything like how much it costs).
So, I'm back at the gym working out and making better food choices. And definitely we're going back to that farm next summer and riding the paddle boats!!! I'm so tired of missing out and having my kids miss out because mommy weighs too much.
What are you tired of missing out on?
09-03-2002, 08:27 PM
I try not to let myself miss out on anything... ( I try to miss out on dessert sometimes...lol, but usually, I even have that :lol: ) I'm fat, not dead... I go to the pool, in my swimsuit for all to see, and I swim... I go to the park, and swing on the swings, run the kids around on the Merry go round til I think I'm gonna blow...I dance, I run, I lay out in the sun, ain't no 200 or so extra pounds gon' hold ME down :D
09-04-2002, 12:08 AM
Jinkies....... I know exactly how you feel and it is for that very reason that I am finally lossing the weight. I realized if I didn't do it I would leave this life without doing all the things I would like to do and miss enoying life to the fullest. I could do some of the things despite my weight but I would not enjoy it to the fullest nor feel comfortable in so many situtations. Not because of what others thought of me but because my pride in myself would not have been there. I know how I look to me what anyone else thinks is neither here nor there. I see myself and I always strive to put my best foot forward. That is just me and I think anyonre who does not have that type of self image deserves a lot of credit. I do not feel that freedom.
09-04-2002, 02:29 AM
I'm not sure if in my first post I made it sound like I don't do anything. Actually I do go to the park with my kids--we play outside, go for walks, go to the library, go to amusement parks, etc.
But, there are some things I literally cannot do because of my weight (like riding burros at the Grand Canyon--there's a weight limit). Certain rides at amusement parks--I don't fit in them. These are the things that I feel me and my family miss out on.
I wish I could have more of the "who cares what other people think" attitude about being in a bathing suit. But I don't. Like Pam said, I guess it is having enough pride in my appearance to know that I don't look good in a bathing suit. I wouldn't leave the house without doing my hair and makeup because it enhances my appearance. I won't appear in a bathing suit because I feel it definitely detracts from my appearance.
So I am making changes for my health and to lose weight but it's still hard right now to realize how much I am missing out on. Next summer, I want to smile and enjoy going on those paddle boats with my daughter and not have her sit on the sidelines with me. It's one thing if I miss out, but it really bothers me that my kids miss out too.
09-04-2002, 08:45 AM
The swimming thing is a big one for me. I grew up on Miami beach, and I swam nearly every day of my life. My kids have never seen me in the water. I have decided that this Spring my 5 yo then 6 yo is getting swim lessons at the Y. And I am going to be right there beside her no matter what bulges under my suit. This summer I stayed out of the family swimming pond in Vermont because I'm a big self-obsessed woose. Bigger people than I were in there having a great time. Yep, I need to get over it.
09-04-2002, 10:39 AM
Hey Jinkies -
I think we are ALL sensitive about different areas in our life.
I know that I for one, (most likely because I found a GREAT bathing suit) do not mind swimming in front of my family and people I know, but I get real shy being in a suit in front of strangers. I usually wear a t-shirt or something else. I want to be proud of my body!!!
09-04-2002, 11:14 AM
I feel good about who I am. I like me. I am confident and carry myself well.
But like so many others, I am missing out on alot of things in life because I allow my weight to hold me back.
I can only imagine if I had children, I would be doing the same thing.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Don't feel that you're not a good Mother. You are. You're daughter knows that she is loved. She may not understand why she couldn't go in the boats. But I am sure, as she grows up you will share this experience with her. And she will then understand.
Let this be you're strength to get through this. Keep this vision in you're head through the ups and downs. Keep the vision of you and you're daughter in the boat, smiling and laughing. Feeling good with no other thoughts.
I refuse to allow another summer to pass without going to the beach. I am not getting any younger.
Know that you're not alone.
09-04-2002, 02:30 PM
I spent a lot of time riding roller coasters as a kid & I love to do it. Haven't done it in nearly 8 years. The last time we went we had to squeeze into a car or ride in 2 separate cars. And I weighed a lot less back then than I do now!
I'm looking forward to next summer, when I will hopefully be skinny enough to go on every roller coaster 10 times!!! :D
I know where you're coming from w/the swimsuit issues. I used to have them too, until my little cousin begged me to go to the pool w/her. I finally took her & you know what? It wasn't that bad. I thought if nothing else, she might be embarrassed to be seen w/me, but nope. A wonderful day!
Baby steps, man! One day at a time!
09-04-2002, 02:35 PM
You're not alone at all. I wish I could say I am confident enough in myself to do all the things I want to do, but I'm not... yet. And like you, there are things that I *physically* can't do yet. For instance, before I started losing weight, I no longer fit into 2 of the rollercoasters at the amusement park that we enjoy going to. I didn't fit (at least comfortably) in the movie theatre seats. I could go to water parks technically, but I don't have the self-esteem to do it yet. This last one really stinks. A new waterpark opened up about 1 1/2 hours from our house & dh wanted to go all summer long, but I wouldn't :(:(
Anyway, next summer, I can't wait to go to that water park! And I'm going to go to the amusement park, too! I'm already fitting in the theatre seats! I think it's wonderful and exciting to lose weight & know that even though I may have been able to do these things while still extremely overweight, I now am going to do them confidence & enjoyment. :)
09-04-2002, 04:45 PM
heh, my ability to wear a swimsuit in public comes from the realization one day that my big shirt wasn't fooling anyone as to whats under it... lol, and I have a great suit that keeps most of my problem spots under control...except, my most hated, my arms...bleah, but, once I'm in the water, no one can see much anyway... and if you're actually swimming, anyone who would have anything to say about it is a fool anyway, because you're EXERCISING...doing something good for YOU... another thing that makes it different for me I guess, is we don't have beaches, we go to an indoor pool at a hotel gym, it is pretty crowded most times though...
I can't think of one activity offered here that comes with a weight restriction, except maybe horseback riding at one of the ranches, and we wouldn't go to one of those anyways, hubby doesn't like horses, and I would never support a place like that anyway, the horses are worked to death practically...there is one thing that is difficult for me *physically* getting into the booths at my favorite greasy spoon...ha, but I count that as a good thing :lol:
09-04-2002, 04:59 PM
Okay, Beth Anne, PNG, where, oh where are you finding these great suits!?!?! I try on a million each year & am yet to find one I like! Do tell! :)
09-04-2002, 05:14 PM
I actually, believe it or not, got mine on sale at Kmart or Walmart, can't remember which... and Beth Anne is off for now, but I'm pretty sure she got hers at Fashion Bug...
09-04-2002, 08:12 PM
I found my great suit at Famous Barr, i.e. Robinson May on the clearance rack, so I got it for about 20. It hides most of the yucky stuff, except the thighs, but the water does that for me. I just bought it in June and it is already too big!!!!!!!
Personally, I found that I was very limited in riding the train at the park with my boys. I hated going because I had to squeeze in the seat, but it is getting better! I just try to keep trucking along.
09-05-2002, 11:47 AM
PNG- you are so smart :) I did get mine at Fashion Bug.
09-05-2002, 07:06 PM
PNG - ROTFLMAO at the "big shirt" remark! :lol: :lol: It's almost like those bald guys with one last hurrah of a wisp of hair that they take from the bottom of their earlobe and comb ALLLLL the way over the top of their head!
09-05-2002, 07:27 PM
Actually what I was missing out on, which was a huge motivating factor, went way beyond missing out on stuff from being self-concious. Yes I am a guy but I still would go to the beach and swimming but probably not as much.
But there were SO MANY things I missed out on that had nothing to do at all with my self attiutde or anyone else's self attitutde. I could not hike like I used to, I could not walk anywhere near as much as I could before, I could not play tennis as well, I could not really play full court basketball at all. I could not boggie board, I bought a board and I was so heavy that it never floated high enough in the water to work. It was kind of funny but also very sad. There are hundreds upon hundreds of physical things you are missing out on my being overweight inregardless of anything socially related or how big seats are or boggie boards or boats in parks etc. are. You are severely restricting what your body is capable of. And sadly you are probably missing out on years of life as well. Anyhow it was the realization of all these things I was missing out on that gave me the umpphhh to DO IT, it was motivation to me not a downer because I knew if I got as high as I did I was also the key to getting back down. One big motivation in particular was I backpacked through the grand canyon, down, around, and back up over the course of a week. Thinking of being able to do that at 300 plus pounds was also a kick in the pants.
So trying not to miss out on anything when you are overweight just doesn't work for anyone. Whether you want to or not you are missing out on hundreds of things your body would be capable of with less weight and more health.
09-06-2002, 09:41 AM
Some great comments here - I've really enjoyed reading them! I'm fortunate I haven't run into a lot of instances where I couldn't do something because of my weight, but I have certainly been uncomfortable sitting in certain chairs that my wide hips strain against! And for a long time, I've been depressed about not having the energy to play much with my daughter (6yo), and I feel that she's suffered from that, as she's somewhat chunky herself. I've finally gotten into the exercise habit and feeling much more energetic and competent now than I did, say, 6 months ago ...
As for swimming, I also have that devil-may-care attitude - yes, I feel uncomfortable being in public in my bathing suit, but I just don't care what others think ... but I do understand how others feel differently about that.
Jinkies, you can still send your daughter to swimming lessons without having to get in the water yourself. In fact, my daughter has taken lessons for the past two summers, and they prefer that the parents stay as far away as possible because it's distracting to their teaching.
09-06-2002, 02:38 PM
I freak out every time I go on a plane. I'm so worried the seat belt won't go over my belly and I'll have to "discuss it" with the stewardess. AHhhhhhh! Nonononono!
I am missing out on shopping at any store. Yes, I admit plus-size clothes have come a LONG way but I hate being limited. It's also too expensive.
09-06-2002, 03:14 PM
Ok Ladies....So Steve and I take Jacob to the park as often as possible. And Steve goes down the slides with Jacob and I usually stand at the bottom waiting for them. So I had read this post and decided that I was going to participate more!! Not let my weight interfere!!!:strong:
Went down the slide (by myself first) land on the ground, hands and knees and reinjured my bad knee!! :lol: :headache:
Then I climbed up on something that was too high and pulled a tendon in the back of my knee :lol: :headache:
So it's back to the bleachers for me. For the time being anyway!!
09-06-2002, 03:49 PM
Oh, you guys are great! It's always comforting to know that others are working through the same kinds of struggles and it also helps to get that confidence booster from people who are doing what it takes to get healthy.
I've gone to the gym 4 times this week and plan to go Saturday to make 5. That will be 2 weeks in a row where I've worked out 5xs! Just this week I decided to check out the ladies only weight area. I was worried about not knowing how to work the machines but fortunately they have these little stickers that tell you step by step what to do and what muscles you're working. I'm not able to lift much weight or do many reps, but it's a good start.
I've been reading a lot of different personal stories on web sites lately and it's interesting that not a whole lot of them have had light bulb moments where there's an epiphany about weight loss. So many of them just talked about how tired they were of their weight, being unhealthy, tired, unable to do fun physical activities (like Diamondgeog mentioned).
I guess I'm in that mode of thinking now too. For years I've wondered when that "A-ha" moment would come. For me it hasn't. It's truly been a process. For years I've been sort of half-heartedly doing things for my health waiting for the "click" to happen. So far, no click for me. At least not what I consider a light bulb moment. I'll just keep plugging away and find out eventually if I ever have one.
P.S. Jacobsmommy--you made me laugh--not because you got hurt but because that is totally me! You wouldn't think a children's playground would be hazardous to adults but I know it can! I've smacked my forehead on the bar going down the slide (forgot to duck)! I hope you're doing OK though and heal quickly.
09-06-2002, 03:52 PM
Forgot to add--MzPen, thanks for the info about swimming lessons. I'll have to check with the organizers and see what they say. I assumed the parents had to be in the pool too for young children. Definitely next summer we'll get her in lessons whether or not I am bathing suit ready.
09-09-2002, 09:16 AM
Jinkies, Abigail had her first swimming lessons through the Red Cross when she was 4 ... this summer she was 5. She still can't really swim, but she's learned a lot, she loves the water and is comfortable with it.