General chatter - Embarrassed for him to see you naked?
03-19-2010, 04:04 PM
The guy i'm involved with sexually saw me naked, for the first time. i will admit, i was embarrassed ladies.
We were involved 10 years ago, i was skinny back then, now i'm slightly under 250. What made me not feel quite so bad is, he's not skinny anymore either.
Does anyone else out there fight those feelings of embarrassment with husbands, lovers, bf's? :o
03-19-2010, 04:13 PM
OH yeah. It's awful. It's really had a serious impact on our sex life. I'm just really really embarrassed. He's never said anything to me about it, he always says I'm beautiful and sexy no matter how much I weigh, but still. The shame is still there. It helps when I'm working out, though - even if I haven't visibly changed, I feel so much better about myself just because I know I'm up and moving. When I lie around on the couch all day eating chips, I (shockingly) feel about as un-sexy as a person can feel.
You know what's funny, though, is that DH is insecure about being so skinny. He is rail-thin, and he wants to be buff, but the man has this sky-high metabolism. But I still think he's the sexiest man there is, even if he doesn't think so. So when it gets really bad, I try to remember how *I* feel about *him* despite what he thinks about himself, so he's probably not lying when he says he thinks I'm sexy, since I'm not lying when I say it to him. If you can follow that convoluted mess.
03-19-2010, 04:26 PM
Iím getting better! The guy Iím dating now is very complimentary and encourages me to be confident and is really patient. He doesnít make me feel pressured and seems happy whether Iím fully clothed or otherwise.
For a long time though, I was the girl who turned the lights off, left her shirt on and stayed under the covers. And now, that embarrassed me more than anything! How unsexy is that?? ďYes, we can be intimate, but no intimacy please.Ē Lol. I was actually surprised to discover that I enjoy sex more naked (sorry if thatís TMI). Itís liberating and Iíve never had anyone run screaming from the room, which in itís own weird way is a little confidence boost.
I think thereís always insecurity though.
03-19-2010, 05:29 PM
I'm embarassed about my *doctor* seeing me naked, forget about men!
03-19-2010, 05:52 PM
I am slightly embarassed when I'm naked around my fiance. My weight doesn't bother him, but I feel like a fat slob. I have noticed that when I'm on track and working out, I feel sexier and not embarassed at all. Now if only I could make a lifelong habit of working out.
03-19-2010, 06:31 PM
I was thinner when we got married and (we both) gradually gained the weight over the years. I became self-conscience when I became serious about losing the weight. I took before shots and was in shock that I didn't look like I did when I was thin, I guess I went through life thinking I still looked the same even though my clothes were bigger. Anyways I remember the first time being intimate after beginning my weight loss and thinking "Oh gosh, what must he be thinking?" Afterwards I told him how I was feeling and he just laughed and said that he loved me no matter what size I was.
03-20-2010, 06:31 PM
This has been a huge problem in my relationship. The big problem is that my soon-to-be-ex boyfriend never said things about me being beautiful, sexy, etc. Instead I had to struggle with the negativity coming from myself, and no affirmations from him. I don't mean to say that my confidence would have come from him, but it certainly doesn't help boost one's ego when you already feel fat and gross and you're not given any encouragement to the contrary. Not planning to let anyone see me naked for a very long time now.
03-20-2010, 08:58 PM
I have to say, when I first started dating my boyfriend (we met and got to know each other online first), I was really worried about how things would go in the bedroom. He'd never been with a plus sized woman, so there was the normal insecurity about being with someone new, as well as the "what if he isn't physically attracted to me" issue. I needn't have worried. He's wonderful, always very affectionate, and tells me I'm beautiful and sexy all the time.
03-20-2010, 10:08 PM
Dunno if it helps, but when I was MUCH younger and MUCH thinner, I was still worried. So for those of you who have always been big girls...everyone has insecurities, even the younger thinner girls. 30 years and many extra pounds, I am right back where I started...feeling like I want to just disappear.
03-20-2010, 10:44 PM
But I still think he's the sexiest man there is, even if he doesn't think so. So when it gets really bad, I try to remember how *I* feel about *him* despite what he thinks about himself, so he's probably not lying when he says he thinks I'm sexy, since I'm not lying when I say it to him.
Bingo! That's what I remind myself all the time -- he proposed to *me* and he wants to be intimate with *me* and I want that with him and only him. You and I, we think alike about this!
03-20-2010, 10:55 PM
I have those feelings quite a bit!!! I gained 90 pounds in two years (two pregnancies on total bed rest) and 2 c-sections, so I look totally different then when my husband and I first got together. It took a huge toll on our sex life, I didn't want him to look at me, touch me, or even tell me he thought I looked beautiful because I didn't believe it myself, so I just assumed he was lying to me. I still have a lot of work to do, but just working out has made me feel a little better about everything, more energy and just all around feeling better.
I finally talked to my husband about it, and he is thin and handsome, but he told me about everything he told me he was insecure about HIMSELF, and I was soooo shocked because everything he THOUGHT he needed to change were absolutely perfect to me and I couldn't believe he was insecure about them.
So in reality, the man you are with probably is having insecure feelings about himself, not you, and most importantly if he wasn't attracted to you, he wouldn't have put himself in the position to see you naked!
I hope this helps, good luck and keep reaching your goals!!
03-20-2010, 11:05 PM
My bf can only see me naked in pieces. I just can't let him see me naked all the way.
03-21-2010, 05:27 PM
Given my body image and self-condifence issues - and the fact I don't even like people to see my body *with* clothes, much less without, I always thought I would be very shy about being naked in sexual situations.
In reality, and luckily, during those situations I'm completely in the moment and completely unworried about how I look. Those are some of the only times in my life where I experience that kind of free feeling. It's very nice and I'm very glad it's worked out that way for me.
03-21-2010, 05:39 PM
my husband has always been great about telling me I look beautiful, no matter what, but I have found myself lately feeling very unattractive and not wanting him to see me in certain situations. It is not fair to him for me to pull back on our intimacy so I need to work on that myself
03-21-2010, 06:53 PM
I thought I would chime in here. My fiance has always made me feel beautiful. It's very reassuring to me. However, I've always felt uncomfortable for one reason or another, even when I was in my twenties. I know I'll never look like I did in my twenties again, but my attitude about ALOT of things has changed over the years, especially sex. I look forward to the time when I can comfortably be naked at 2:00 in the afternoon or at 11:00 at night. Maybe someday even plan on a Naked Sunday....:o! I've heard of couples that do that and I think it would be awesome to feel that comfortable without my clothes.
I liked the comment about remembering how much you love your husband, no matter what he looks like. I know I would love my fiance as much as I do now if for some reason his physical appearance changed.
03-21-2010, 08:17 PM
I am comfortable being naked in front of my husband, even though I don't think my naked body is super attractive, he seems to like it just fine. I do always think about how attracted I am to him and think why shouldn't he feel that way about me(he sure seems to) that always helps