Lighten Up! - The best divorce letter ever




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CurlyWurly
03-17-2010, 04:56 AM
Dear wife,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been ****. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia
together!
Have a great life!

---

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a right tit!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the 49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed 50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million pounds, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your EX-Wife, Rich As ****, Freeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you!


kittycat40
03-17-2010, 08:02 AM
Awesome!

kittycat40
03-17-2010, 04:16 PM
Awesome!


Shopaholic1204
03-17-2010, 11:30 PM
HAHAH!!!! That's one good burn!!

rebeccamichelle777
03-19-2010, 04:38 AM
Signed,
Your EX-Wife, Rich As ****, Freeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you!

HAHAAA! That's great!

smccaleb06
04-03-2010, 01:24 PM
Hilarious!!!!

AR4life
04-04-2010, 12:51 PM
Very good ...............lol

kay lee
04-04-2010, 12:59 PM
Too funny!

bex
05-06-2010, 06:25 AM
Love it.

Mikan
05-06-2010, 03:20 PM
Hahaha!!!

Ciao
05-06-2010, 11:49 PM
Oh wow. Lol.

CrystalZ10
05-10-2010, 08:36 PM
OMG!! Awseome! Too funny! lol

Nesa
05-14-2010, 05:13 AM
:D I just had to share this one with... everyone in the office! Good one! Got us all laughing

AngelaB
05-18-2010, 10:54 PM
That one was so funny!

Photogrl83
05-18-2010, 11:33 PM
Genius!

Cglasscock1
05-18-2010, 11:33 PM
Revenge is sweet!

salina82
05-20-2010, 11:37 PM
That Just Made My Day!!! Too Funny!

cbmare
05-21-2010, 04:04 PM
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.


:lol3: :rofl: :lol3:

I've been a good man to you for 7 years! I stopped eating pork 7 years ago!

Here Piggie Piggie!

:lol3:

smj1987
07-25-2010, 05:14 PM
hahahaha i love it!!! :)

klambeth82
07-25-2010, 06:02 PM
HILARIOUS!!! :cp:

katylil
08-12-2010, 08:37 AM
Hahahahaha brilliant!!!

annie175
08-12-2010, 08:45 AM
OMG. laughed till I almost peed. I wish I could be her.

Mickeypnd
08-18-2010, 05:02 PM
Lmao!

Natasha1534
08-18-2010, 06:34 PM
Lmfao!!!!

Missinternational09
09-06-2010, 01:35 AM
lol

shcirerf
09-07-2010, 09:38 PM
ROFLMAO! So how many calories does that burn?:D

Serval87
09-07-2010, 09:59 PM
Hilarious!

Joplin
09-15-2010, 09:23 PM
Very funny. Thanks for sharing. LOL

PJay
11-12-2010, 07:02 AM
:lol: LMAO!!!!! I absolutly LOVE that!!

mk1014
11-14-2010, 04:19 PM
lol! definitely made me laugh :lol:

Nile1988
11-14-2010, 06:15 PM
HAHAHA! I love it!! :rofl:
Thanks for sharing

totsandfries
11-14-2010, 07:37 PM
Hilarious...

grabec
12-30-2010, 06:39 PM
Darned cute!

angeluv
01-04-2011, 10:41 AM
niiiiice

shrinkingmommy
01-09-2011, 10:54 PM
funny

drinkypants
01-16-2011, 10:15 AM
lol

Kgirl1974
01-18-2011, 09:37 AM
Love it!!

Laffalot
01-26-2011, 05:57 PM
:) Love It!! :) :)

starskyandmoon
01-29-2011, 06:17 AM
so funny! LOL

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 01:52 PM
Dear wife,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been ****. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia
together!
Have a great life!

---

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a right tit!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the 49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed 50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million pounds, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your EX-Wife, Rich As ****, Freeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you!



all i can say is hahahahaahahhahaah! lmao! ROFL!!!!:carrot::carrot: